he has some of the best lines...gotta love him1/08/2008 #1
"dear diary: jackpot!"
"in the eighties i was in bed for eight....and home by eleven!"
theres hunners o them, but its half past four and i cant think straight,lol
Cleaveland: It's a good thing you had so many blow-up dolls Qua...Quagmire
Quagmire: Careful...the tiniest prick will pop these things...Giggity12/05/2008 #2
From the Christmas episode
Quagmire: Hey, maybe we should set him up with another lemon snow cone.
Peter: No thanks. The last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon at all. It tasted like... Oh, you guys are asses!12/09/2009 . Edited 6/29/2010 #3
Quagmire: You should have sex with that crossing guard even though she looked young and then I found out she was twelve...I mean you should get an eyepatch.
Joe: Eyepatch'd be cool...1/17/2010 #4
Quagmire is in the mall and sees a very attractive woman passed out. He rushes over to her and then starts pressing on her boobs and putting his mouth to her mouth.
Random woman who witnessed Quagmire's heroism: Thank God you know CPR.
Quagmire: What the hell's CPR?10/07/2010 #5
Brian: Hey Quagmire, isn't there an O in country?
Quagmire: Nope.10/14/2010 #6
Peter: The fence... the cripple's natural enemy.
When they were being chased by Joe.5/21/2011 #7
Quagmire: I smuggled whole bunch of fireworks back in my anus.
Peter: Quaqmire, fireworks aren't illegal here, you could have just put them in your car and driven them here.
Quagmire: Oh, yeah, that's just as fun.5/21/2011 #8
"And when he woke up in the morning, she was still in his bed! AAAAAAHHHH!!!! AHHHHH!!!!"
"Yeah. Then she wanted to make him eggs! AAAAAHHHH!!!! AHHHH!!!
But he said I don't have time, I have a meeting at 12:30
And she said I'll drive you there! AAAAHH!!!
And he said no, no, It's at my office, it's like a half hour commute
And she said I don't mind, it's on the way to my kid's preschool! AAAAHHH! AHHHH! AAHHHH!!!!"
And that is Quagmire's scary story. XDDD7/26/2011 #9
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