It is a bitchy, catfight world out there... for girls.- Chris

Naomi (3-year-old sister): Mommy, there's an alien in my tummy, and it wants me to kill people. Mom: (not really paying attention) That's nice, honey. Naomi: (starts running around the room) KILL PEOPLE! KILL PEOPLE! DESTROY! DESTROY!

Math Teacher: (while the class is taking a test) Oh no! Pretty Much Everyone: What? What happened? Is there something wrong with the test? MT: My purple pen broke.

Math Teacher: (she decided to teach us about cylinders) This is my cylinder and... I love my cylinder. Now I'm going to separate the parts. (she separates them and it looks like a boy thing with two circles on top... yeah.) Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MT: What? (looks at penis-cylinder) Oh, get your minds out of the gutter. Everyone: (stops laughing after a while) (silence) Random Kid: Oh, now I get it!

Be careful of those kids from the Math Fair. They'll be like, 'Oh, I throw proton at you! What you do now?'- Kid at school talking to my friend

(during a group hug in Drama camp) Me: Are they commiting gang rape or a group hug? Kid: Both.

heh

My Teacher: okay today we have to puberty video

Me and Gage: *giggle-snort*

My Teacher: *laughs* you will learn *laughs* about growing up *laughs* and the extra thi- *hysterical laughter*

(he was totally awesome!)

This is from the show Angel that I absolutley love now:

Angel: Spink, don't say it!

Spike: You're...

Angel: Don't-!!!

Spike: YOU'RE A BLOODY PUPPET!!!!!!!

haha. Love it.

okay...

*This is random*

Me: I'm gonna eat you!

Twicked: Not if I eat you first!

Me: That sound like a challenge!

Polly wants you to kill yourself, Polly wants you to slit your wrists...- Alan in drama camp where he had to improv a song from a musical called Emo Pirates.

During break at Band-camp thing today:

Lily(my friend): *shows us a picture* And this is a dog that we saw. It's and Akita.

Me: This Akita, Evita, just won't shut up, I believe if you play nonstop that pup- Uhh... Yeah. That's from RENT *explains Angel killing Evita for a thousand dollars*

Lily: That's horrible, I hate that...

Me: *loud gasp* Nooo! Pleeeeeaseeee take that back! You cannot tell me you just said that!

----

*my friend and I discussing rap music, this in particular was on the subject of 'grillz'*

"And WHY do they take pride in looking like they have little girl's dress-up jewlery stuck in between their teeth? Either it looks like that or like they're still wearing braces."

(*just saying*) In my quote about the Angel dude, it's Spike not Spink. I can't type today =/

*last night while my brother and i are making dinner*

Brother: I HATE PEOPLE!!! *pounds lazania* [sorry...kno i spelled that wrong]

Me: You are only aloud to verbally abuse the lazania!

Mom: Nelson you guys are gonna break that thing (we had five people shoved on a wooden swing)

Nelson: we ain't! Come on guys

All: Slide to right! Slide to the left! 5 hops!

Lizzie: uh-oh!

*swing breaks* (let's juat say me and Nelson couldn't move for a while)

My brother: How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Me: Depends... how many steroids has it taken?

wow...

Twicked: My teacher looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy on crack!

"I need to start thinking with my head instead of my foot"- MotO

---

Mom: And that idiot councelor from your school- What was her name again?

Me: Mrs. Dilskeey

Mom: Oh, like dildo.

Me: Uhh... sure, okay.

--

My brothers: "Hey, that's mine!" "Yeah, but you had if for two hours and its both of ours!" "Dad said share!" *blah blah blah argue argue whine*

Me(singing): Be nice you two or no god-awful champagne

10-year-old brother: Is that from RENT?

I just ran over and gave him a hug for guessing properly.

(*this is from last Halloween when my friend, Sean, went to our party as an emo kid*)

Sean: Gosh, I'm so... emo and.... depressed.

Matt (*turns to me*): Shall we?

Me: We shall.

Me and Matt (*poking Sean*): POKE THE EMO!!!

Song: "I kissed a girl and I liked it..."

Me and female friend: *kiss*

*snigger*

"And that's when I realized- I didn't want to listen to Broadway, I just wanted to listen to RENT."- Me, about five minutes ago

The Music at the school dance: *random inappropriate stuff*

Me: Does anybody here have any idea what the hell any of this crap means?

Stranger (nickname, she's not a stranger): Probably not.

Me: Crap, I forgot to do my homework.

Brother: So, you never do it, you always wait for your study hall.

Me: Today's a snow day, and I don't have first period!

Brother: Sucks for you.

Me: I hate school.

I walk into my class and Edwardo's lying on the floor...

Me: What's up?

Edwardo: The sky, your boobs...

Me: *kicks head* perv.

Edwardo: SO??

I seem to have waaaaaay to many quotes from him...

I walk into the computer room and my friend micky and my brother are there.

Dallas: what are you two up to?

Mickey: nothin', right Stretch nuts.

My brother punchs him again.

Brother: I said not to call me that.

Me: (I just blinked)

Mickey looks at me: Your brothers new nickname is stretch nuts. Ain that right stretch nuts.

Me: Ooooookkaay, I'm gonna go be less weird than you guys in another rom

(to this day, I still call my brother stretch nuts.)

*my friend Jessica reading a magazine article about the Jonas Brothers out loud to me while I try and bake cookies*

Jessica: and these "Jonasphiles"

Me: Wait, what? Read that agian.

Jessica: and these "Jonasphiles"

Me: Jonasphiles?!? That makes me think of pedophiles, which then makes me think of creepy old fatsos who stalk the Jonas Brothers and have sexual fantasties about them. *pause* That's not what "Jonasphiles" means, right?

leah: i look at kangaroo porn

(note: she is not serious)

Me (to many people.): you're like a vacuum, you suck, you blow, and you get laid in the closet.

(I wonder how many people I've said that too.)

From Grey's Anatomy (one of my fave shows)

Cristina: He organizes his books by the Dewey Decimal System. Meredith, I'm scared.

Meredith: Get out of there. Just get out of there now.

From Invader Zim:

Gir: Why piggie, why?!?!?! I loved-ed you piggie! I LOVED-ED YOUUU!!!!!!! *cries*

---

Zim: Gir? What's the "G" stand for?

Gir: I don't know. WEEEHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!!

here is a quote by me:

here is a quote by me.

when did I make that quote? right now

nice.

Eh. It's not really a quote but:

The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

you do realise you created a paradox and therefore have destroyed the whole universe, right?

*grins evily* yeesss. I read that like 800 times trying to figure it out.

So this isn't spam:

Happy Time Harry: Sometimes I like to take this knife and cut myself until I just.... pass out man!

Jiggle Billy: O...kay commence the jigglin'!

(from ATHF)

Master shake- Dracula called... and said he's commin' tonight

(ATHF)

Brownie Monsters: *growl and ...stuff*

Mooninights: Yes, yes....I know....we're getting to you.

....

Okay, the Brownie Monsters?

(ATHF)

I found this conversation as the runner-up for 'burn of the week' on one of my favorite websites. Everyone is discussing a video of a runner faceplanting into a hurdle. Randomly immature stuff, but very funny.

First! says: I lol'ed

stfu says: I masturbated!

Nowhereman says: You too?! ::masturbates... TWICE::

i says: dude this happens all the time. its not fukin funny. this happened to my friend and he fell flat on his face and broke his nose. poor guy

fuzzy on the concept says: I think your friend is masturbating wrong.

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