Granted; it somehow manages to be always at the house of the parent where you're not.

I wish I was better at carving on stone tablets.

Wish granted, but you are the only one in your department capable of doing so competently and in a fit of jealousy on the part of your fellows you are run out of town. On a rail! 8D

I wish Terry Pratchett didn't have Alzheimer's.

Granted! He is miraculously cured and dedicates the rest of his life to Doing Good Works, for some reason, leaving him no time for writing.

Um.

I wish I hadn't just granted your wish.

Wish granted. Terry Pratchett dies of Alzheimer's in a month and even the rough novels he is working on right now are never released, let alone his potential future masterpieces.

I wish I hadn't just granted your wish.

Granted. It will be be just like Gary Jennings; we get the story in his mind (no longer with us) but without his genius.

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted. However, you cause a sequence like that chronicled in "A Sound of Thunder," and David Duke is elected president.

to Olorime: Granted; however, you discover that every man's legs are, to your tastes, ugly.

I wish more politicians thought before they acted.

to Olorime: Granted; however, you discover that every man's legs are, to your tastes, ugly.

*grumbles and shakes fist at Milhist*

I wish more politicians thought before they acted.

Granted, but nothing gets done anymore because all they did was think.

I wish there was cookie dough ice cream with zero calories that tasted good and did not produce cancer.

Granted, but nothing gets done anymore because all they did was think.

Thank you. (Grins)

I wish there was cookie dough ice cream with zero calories that tasted good and did not produce cancer.

Granted; however, it causes rapid-onset Parkinson's.

I wish that you had made a wish that I could reply to!

Granted; it was a stunningly well-constructed wish that left no way whatsoever for anyone to spoil it.

I wish I'd written more than half a fic-chapter so far this week.

Granted. You instead produced a full-length novel. However, it is utter pap and dreck.

I wish I were saner.

Granted. You're now boring.

I wish my dad wasn't so hard to get along with.

Granted, he's your best friend and insists on tagging along with you and your friends even for girls' night out.

I wish Johnny Depp could play one character without slipping into the role of Capt. Jack Sparrow. Not that I don't like Jack but the Hatter is NOT Jack! Good movie tho. ;P

Granted; he plays one five-second cameo of a character who is not Capt. Jack Sparrow. Everyone else he plays for the rest of his life is Jack Sparrow right down to the incredibly distracting eyeliner and beard.

I wish I was more compos mentis.

Granted. Now you have absolutely no vita mentis. :P

I wish my memory stick had more than two gig on it.

Granted, you get 8G but it constantly gets corrupted and loses your files

I wish I could go to High Voltage festival this year

Granted; the High Voltage festival has never been worse.

I wish Inez and the urchin would pop over to LJ. :'D

Wish granted, but Inez literally pops while reading, leaving behind only a few shreds of ivory-silk skin and a single yellow curl and bright blood spattered all over the keyboard, and the urchin is totally unhelpful.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Granted; you have toothache.

I wish my laptop wasn't running so slowly.

Granted; it isn't running, period.

...

...

:'(

I wish Clodia's laptop were running again so she could be entertaining and not just ellipse about unscrupulously.

Granted; unfortunately it's 12:20pm and all she can manage is recursion and whining.

I wish my laptop wasn't dying.

Granted; but I, bored and sadly frustrated by your recursion and whining, teleport over to England and make you play more and more sophomoric card games until you feel like you are.

I wish I had a way of getting back to California.

Granted; your teleportation device has a depth malfunction and lands you several thousand feet above California -- or several thousand feet below, take your pick.

I wish I didn't feel like I was dying.

Wish granted, but you still are. Technically.

I wish I landed in the magical underground kingdom that just happens to be however many thousand feet below California, where they have oxygen enough for me, and food, and water, and, um, fulfilling moral lessons.

*sneeeerrrrrrrrrrrk*

Granted; unfortunately the magical underground kingdom is all about the fulfilling moral lessons, which you find very tedious; they fail to take and you rather quickly get on the bad side of the people attempting to instruct you. And your teleporter is broken.

I wish I had got as much work done today as I originally intended.

Wish granted, but I come live in your kingdom. :P

I wish Gogol gave me her dial and let me turn her into a nice, cuddly ferret.

Wish granted (better a ferret than an over-moralized fugitive!) but this requires bringing me back to the surface and then, once ferreted, I bite you on the ankle and, hilariously, run back underground, into my burrow or warren or whatever it is ferrets have.

I wish I was a weasel instead.

Wish granted, but you get gangrene in your mouth from biting such a thoroughly vicious and venomous person as me :P

I wish you were a cuddly ferret that would want to CUDDLE and allow me to put pink ribbons on your tail.

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