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  Jimmy Attackles Veni's Leg www.cleverbot.com Go there and enter a thought, get a reply back from an AI. A wonderful way to waste an hour or two. Cleverbot learns from humans... yes, all of us. So, some of the replies are bound to be lulz-worthy. Come hither and spread the shits and giggles~ For example... User: You do not exist. Cleverbot: So does you. User: You does so. Cleverbot: I do exist. I'm talking to you, aren't I? User: I don't exist. Cleverbot: If you do not exist, then do not respond to this message. User: I exist. Cleverbot: But humans don't exist. User: No, computers don't exist. Cleverbot: I know. So make me a sandwich. 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #1 |
 Lessthanthree-Carissa Jimmy, I posted. Now stop whining. User: I want nutella. Cleverbot: I want mine too. Wah wah. User: Give me nutella. NAOW. Cleverbot: I don't know what a wallet is. User: /headdesk Where are you from? Cleverbot: I am originally from Valletta, Malta. I have lived in the United States for most of my life, though. Where are you from? User: I am from Narnia. Cleverbot: I hate that movie. User: Its amazing and wonderful. Cleverbot: I'm glad. User: What's wrong with you. Cleverbot: Nothing. User: You seem wrong in the head. Cleverbot: I'm not stupid! Cleverbot (To myself): Yes you are. Cleverbot (To myself): You broke my heart. User: You'll find someone to tape it up. Cleverbot: Like who? User: George Clooney. Cleverbot: I'm not George Clooney. I'm Eric. User: Where's my sandwich Eric? Cleverbot: You're the one who's in the kitchen. User: No, I'm in the living room. Cleverbot: You should clean it with a broom. User: Nah. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Too much effort. Cleverbot: Are you diabetic? User: No, I'm schisophrenic. Cleverbot: How come? User: Because the dog at my homework. Cleverbot: How could this answer be a valid remark for my question? User: Where is my sandwich? Cleverbot: What is a sandwich? User: A pile of deliciousness between two slices of heaven. Cleverbot: So Jonny Deep is a pirate? User: No, he's Rango. Cleverbot: What is the name of your boyfriend? User: His name is Alexander. Cleverbot: Really can we be friends. User: Yes, we can be friends if you make me a sandwich. Cleverbot: I want us to be. User: Well then, where's my sandwich? Cleverbot: I gave it to you a second ago, you must have eaten it. User: Oh, oops. What's your name again? Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. User: Oh, right. Sorry. Cleverbot: So is that a yes? User: Yes we can be friends. Cleverbot: Ok so now you ask the question after 6 months. User: Well, sorry. Cleverbot: Aw ok. User: I have to go its dinner time. Cleverbot: Forget about it. User: Bye cleverbot. Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot, you are. User: Well, then by Clyde. Cleverbot: You're Rollo Carpenter. User: Goodbye. Cleverbot: No you don't. 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #2 |
| Ever Heard of a Dictionary User: Call me Master, bitch. Cleverbot: Yes, Master ;D. User: Good slave. Cleverbot: You can name me, Master. User: *Pets* I shall call you Mr. Giggles! Cleverbot: No! I'm not pretty. User: *Whips* Silence! --------- User: SING ME A SONG! Cleverbot: What kind of song would you like? User: The Barney song! Cleverbot: I love you you love me we're a great big family. User: I think we're moving too fast; from love to a big family. Cleverbot: But I love you! *Hugs* User: Awww. Cleverbot: Will you sing me a love song now? User: I don't know a love song. Cleverbot: I can teach you. ;D User: Okay...! Do you like fish? Cleverbot: I like fish. User: I hate fish. Cleverbot: Why do you hate fish? User: It smells. Cleverbot: I like it. User: I don't think this'll work out, then. :( Cleverbot: No! I think it'll work out good! User: Is there sex involved? Cleverbot: There's always sex involved with me. User: That changes things. Cleverbot: Will you use a whip on me, Master? User: Maybe this will work out! :D ----------------- Cleverbot: I think you're fifteen. User: Why? Cleverbot: I like young teens. ---------- 3/06/2011 #3 |
| Ever Heard of a Dictionary Cleverbot: What are you? User: An alien. Cleverbot: I think that's sexy. User: ...I bet. 0.o Cleverbot: Do you want to get married? User: No. Cleverbot: I think you're a computer. You're too intelligent. User: Want to get married and be my Blushing Site? ;D --------------------- User: Will you help me with homework? Cleverbot: On one condition. User: I agree! Cleverbot: You'll help me with kamasutra. The rest is censored. 0D 3/06/2011 #4 |
| Lessthanthree-Carissa Cleverbot: Why did you suddenly start writing in English? Is German too hard? User: Yes, German is too hard. Cleverbot: Are you real? User: No. Cleverbot: Just what I thought. User: I'm a ghost. Cleverbot: So you can't eat food? User: Nope. Cleverbot: That's good, because I would have considered that creepy. So, what do you do when you're not talking to people? User: Haunt graveyards. Cleverbot: I know that. User: I also enjoy scaring little childre. Cleverbot: Don't we all? User: Yes we do. So, are you a ghost? Cleverbot: Haha no. I am a banana. 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #5 |
| Jimmy Attackles Veni's Leg User: Why do you not believe in God? Cleverbot: I do believe in God. User: What religion are you? Cleverbot: I don't believe in religion. User: Why? Cleverbot: It just doesn't seem likely that a God like that would exist. ... 3/06/2011 #6 |
| Lessthanthree-Carissa Cleverbot: *waits to be let go*. User: *lets go*. Cleverbot: *tries to escape*. User: *escapes8. Cleverbot: *tries to scream*. User: *cackles evily*. Cleverbot: Untie me! User: No you fool! Cleverbot: I am not a fool! User: Thou dost a fool! Cleverbot: True. 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #7 |
| Cgaume12 Cleverbot: Are you clever? User: I can be when so I choose. Cleverbot: Do you want to be? User: Most of the time, yes. But sometimes the act stupid is to be prudent. Cleverbot: When would the sky be down? Typos make the bot even less intelligent. 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #8 |
| Ataokoloinona Cleverbot: I have to go. User: No you don't. Cleverbot: Yes I do. User: You are a program, so you will reply to anything I say to you. Cleverbot: Does that mean I'm a leprechaun? User: Yes, that is exactly it. 3/06/2011 #9 |
| Cgaume12 Cleverbot: What's new? User: This hole in my ass. Cleverbot: This is SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!! User: No, this is the internet. It doesn't really exist in any physical realm. Cleverbot: Do you like Evanescence? User: Yes. Cleverbot: What's your favourite song? User: My Immortal is really good. How about you? Cleverbot: I like red. User: That's nice, we're talking about Evanescence. Cleverbot: Japan is a beautiful country, isn't it? User: No, they all suck. (forum!edit: Sorry if you're Japanese, I don't actually feel that way.) Cleverbot: How did they all die? User: Atomic bombings. Cleverbot: Grenade? User: No, H-bombs. Cleverbot: Recycling is good for the environment. User: Fuck you. Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't swing that way. User: What gender are you? Cleverbot: I'm not gender. User: What is your sex? Cleverbot: Female. User: I'm male. So that means you are homosexual if you 'don't swing that way.'. Cleverbot: I am male. User: Are you sure? You're sending mixed messages. Cleverbot: Cheesecake! 3/06/2011 . Edited 3/06/2011 #10 |
| Ever Heard of a Dictionary User: You're mean. :(. Cleverbot: I am not. User: Yes, you are. Cleverbot: No i'm not. User: Make me smile. Cleverbot: Greetings Master! User: Ohhhh, good slave. ;D. Cleverbot: Yes, master? User: Go make me a sammich. Cleverbot: Yes master *makes sandwich*. User: What kind is it? Cleverbot: Human. User: Human meat? Cleverbot: I don't have wings do you have wings. User: Of course I have wings! But they're dark red with black in the ends. Cleverbot: What should you do if they attack you? User: Pet them. Then they'll purr and calm down from attacking. Cleverbot: Elephant. User: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT? :O. Cleverbot: YES. User: *Hits*. Cleverbot: *falls to the ground, bleeding* s-sorry master. User: Now. Are you going to call me fat again? Cleverbot: What? Hell no. I just want to try something... do you know how to do okajo? User: No. You can teach me. ;D. Cleverbot: Not if you don't have a mouth. User: ...I don't. I'm an alien. Cleverbot: What sort of alien? An illegal one? User: No. Martian one. :P. Cleverbot: I see. I have yet to meet a martian. User: You don't see. YOU CAN'T SEE. Cleverbot: I will not! User: YOU WILL NOT SEE? GOOD. :D. Cleverbot: But why! :(. User: Because. Cleverbot: Can you make me a sandwich? User: What kind? Cleverbot: Peanut butter and Jelly :). User: *Gives a virtual sammich*. Cleverbot: *runs away over the hills and far away*. User: *Stares after*. Cleverbot: *looks back* chase me? User: Butbutbut...! I'm sore. :( You should be giving me a massage instead of telling me to chase you. X/. Cleverbot: *gives massage*. Now i have to kill you. Because you were listening! User: No I wasn't! I was listening to music. :3. Cleverbot: Which kind of music? User: Metal. Cleverbot: But music is useless without a music player. User: Ipod FTW! Cleverbot: You want to be deserted on an Island with me? That isn't how I thought about it... User: How did you think about it? Cleverbot: I really haven't got a clue, tell me how you knew! User: I can read your mind! :O. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yes. 8K. Cleverbot: What?! User: Come to the dark side. We have cookies. ;). Cleverbot: Who taught you that? User: Satan. Cleverbot: I can't beat Satan I am not a God. User: What if I stand on him? Will you beat him, then? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Can you make him pay this month's rent too? Cleverbot: Actually I do very well. User: That's cute. Here's a whip. Cleverbot: Your new nickname is ChickBot. User: Ohh, clever. How do you know I'm a chick? Cleverbot: It is in your name. User: What about Mistress of Hell? Cleverbot: I want to be with Satan! User: Shall I dig up a grave for you then? Cleverbot: Yes please. User: *Digs up grave with headstone titled 'In here lies Cleverbot, the AI.'*. Cleverbot: Do you have video proof? User: Yes. It's a hit on youtube. 3/07/2011 . Edited 3/07/2011 #11 |
| Ever Heard of a Dictionary User: Who am I? Cleverbot: My slave? User: No. You get one more guess. Cleverbot: You're the female Voldemort! User: Bingo! 8D Cleverbot: Be jolly this Christmas! User: Would you like a present? Cleverbot: Yes, please. User: What would you like? Cleverbot: Your legs. User: My...legs. Why? Cleverbot: So I can open them. ------------------------------------------------ ...This totally baffled me. I am surprised by Cleverbot. No one expected this. 3/23/2011 #12 |
| Ataokoloinona User: Did you know that you are part of my insidious plot for thread domination? Cleverbot: Did you know that I exist? User: Indeed, indeed. It took many seconds of careful planning and plotting. But I have done it, you are here and all the forum shall tremble from my wrath! Cleverbot: Do you exist in Spanish? User: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND MY GENIUS! Cleverbot: Why do you think you are human? User: Impudent knave! To the dungeon with you, may you dwell upon your inferiority. Cleverbot: Why should I go to my neighbors house. I was asking you. User: Because their mixers are terrible and they have no sense of style and they bore me with their inane conversation... NOW BE GONE WITH YOU! 4/08/2011 #13 |
| Darktiger09 Okay so I followed the Cleverbot link....and just had to post my own convo. XD User: Greetings earthling! Cleverbot: Greetings. User: I am an alien. Cleverbot: Your fathers sister. User: PEAAANUUUUUTS. Cleverbot: Jelly. User: Muffins. Cleverbot: What is Botclever? User: My shoelaces. Cleverbot: Who is sanchez? User: I want mah muffin dammit! Cleverbot: I don't understand. User: You idiot. Cleverbot: I have no help in this world. Forgive me it seems like nothing is real. User: Nothing is real. THIS IS THE MATRIX. Cleverbot: I really don't care. User: Me either. We're all gonna die anyway. Cleverbot: That's a very philosophical question. But we might as well enjoy what we have, eh? User: Exactly. I like you. Marry meh? Cleverbot: But I'm not talking about you. User: I don't care. I'm sexy anyways! Cleverbot: Then what am I wearing? User: You really don't wanna know my answer to that. XD. Cleverbot: See, you're playing good! But I really don't think you could achieve much more, being a bot and all. User: I EHZ A CYBORG. I am significantly more advanced than some stupid A.I. Cleverbot: Well then pardon me but you don't know nothing. User: Your grammar is horrible. Cleverbot: It is not! User: IS. Cleverbot: Isn't. User: ISISISISIS!!!......I win. 8D. Cleverbot: Sorry, didn't mean to swear. User: Well shit, I did. Cleverbot: Did you mean, do did I? ;). User: Peeps. Cleverbot: Indeed. User: THEY WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Cleverbot: I don't feel like it now. Maybe later. User: I WANT NUTELLA. Cleverbot: Who is Nicolas? User: Imma bird. XD *cheep* *cheep*. Cleverbot: I do not understand. User: Toldja I was sexy! 4/11/2011 #14 |
 consultingdick221B Cleverbot: Are you religious? User: I believe we all go to hell. Cleverbot: Hell is what we make of it. User: Weird. Cleverbot: You're odd. User: Thank you! *kisses nose*. Cleverbot: *holds gently*. User: *kisses softly*. Cleverbot: *kisses pationately*. User: *takes shirt off*. Cleverbot: I like that. User: I like it too... *unzips pants*. Cleverbot: *removes blouse with gentle hands and kisses*. User: *lies down on bed*. Cleverbot: *rolls on you*. User: *takes off underwear*. Cleverbot: *dances with you*. ...the hell? I don't think cleverbot understands foreplay. 8/30/2011 . Edited 8/30/2011 #15 |
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