She nodded in agreement to his first statement and let the rest sink in.

"It's not your fault, " she cooed, giving his knee a squeeze, "Things have gone crazy for the both of us. Sometimes, I do feel a little neglected, but it's okay. You have a lot to deal with. You lost a sister-in-law and your brother because of that. And... I... uh... I haven't been all together honest with you, actually..."

She turned her gaze from him and placed her paw beside him. She felt so ashamed for hiding the truth...

He looked sharply at her, a brow cocked in confusion, "You haven't?" he paused and patted her back, "Let's make a deal, and be completely honest with each other from now on?"

"Starting now," she agreed with a nod, facing him, "I meant to tell you, but you have been so busy and I was ashamed and broken-hearted. I didn't want to admit to what I've been keeping from you,"

She sat up gingerly, pushing herself to becoming well. She couldn't let a serious beating slow her down!

His forehead creased with confusion, "What were you ashamed and broken-hearted over?" At the latter, he'd ruled out cheating. Though he felt she had every reason to, he could be fiercely territorial and possessive.

She sighed, closing her eyes. She felt the tears come to her eyes. It seemed as though the lugubrious feelings had not subsided during the whole of this time.

"I... um," she began, taking a few deep gulps as she tried to force back her tears, "It was before and during the whole thing with Demeter. You see, a few weeks after our honeymoon, I began to experience some odd feelings. I went to Jellylorum and she ran a few tests. A few days later, she told me I was pregnant,"

She looked to the floor. Her shoulders fell from her distress. How she wished she didn't have to tell him! It was so hard.

He looked at her abdomen suddenly, as if she'd only now be displaying symptoms of pregnancy, "But...you-you never had any kittens..." Patting her shoulders comfortingly, realization dawned on him, "Oh. Oh. Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you through it.... This is why you want kits so badly, isn't it?"

She leaned into him, tears rushing down her face.

"I didn't want you to worry and Demeter had just died. I didn't want to take attention away from her. It was actually through the hustle and bustle of trying to find her that I fell and... and... l-lost the litter," she sobbed, burrying her face into his side, "It w-was only one k-kitten, anyhow. But, y-yes. It's w-why I want k-kittens s-so badly. I was so close to b-being a m-mother and r-raising a family with y-you,"

"I'm so sorry, Tori," he replied quietly, arms automatically wrapping around her, "If...if you still want kittens with me, I suppose I don't have any right to keep you from your happiness." He lifted her up into his lap and nuzzled her, "Though I really should be truthful with you. It's not going to make you happy, by any means...."

She sighed against him, trying to control her tears. It felt so nice to be in his arms and not feel as if there was a barrier between them. all of the walls were quickly coming down.

"I only would want kittens with you," she answered him, snuggling underneath his chin, "I have only ever loved you. But, do tell me. Whatever it is, I will try not to be too upset. I don't want there to be a wall between us. we used to share everything with each other. We have to, no matter what,"

He gulped, "Well, I...er, was shaking badly and, um, really needed a hit. So, well, I...I found Tugger's old, ah, dealer....and kind of...got high?" The tuxedo looked nervously up at the ceiling, bracing himself for the storm surely approaching.

Victoria slowly looked him in the face. A moment of silence consumed them until she knew what to say.

"What?" she asked, clearly dubious of the whole situation.

"I'm...an addict, sort of? I, er, am hooked on sleeping medication, except now it doesn't, um, quite do what I needed it to....which was to get me high? So I went to Tugger's old dealer to find something that, uh, would." His gaze flickered every which way in a desperate attempt to avoid Victoria's deep blue eyes.

"But, why?" she asked, grabbing his face in order to force him to look at her, "Am I not pleasurable enough for you?"

She tried to keep her calm, but her emotions were rapidly going out of control. How had he become addicted? She knew she had hated those pills for a reason. This was goin to be a long, hard and very unpleasant journey.

He blinked slowly, "I don't know! I just...got hooked and now I need them. It's not my fault."

Mistoffelees debated closing his eyes in favor of looking into that steely gaze, though it wasn't worth her claws digging more deeply into his cheeks.

"Resist the temptation!" she spat, taking a few breaths to calm herself, "If you don't resist, it is your fault. There are so many other ways to have pleasure. These pills are not healthy for you!"

"I can't!" he replied sharply, "You have no idea what it's like! When you're addicted, you want the drugs more than anything in the whole world, and you'll do anything to get them!"

"Oh, so you want them even more than you want me?!" she quipped, arching a brow and letting go of his face, "Clearly, I've been replaced! I guess I'm not needed. Pills are far more important than your mate! Even though she's an invalid, who cares?! Pills are much better! You know what?! I should have mated Plato!"

She covered her mouth with a paw, guilt washing over her. She hadn't meant to say that. She didn't mean it, either. She was just so frustrated and hurt that she wanted Mistoffelees to feel pained too. Oh, how stupid that was!

"You can't! He'd mated to Etcetera, last I heard. You're stuck with your pitiful, addicted, distant, unloving, useless lump of a mate. Are you happy now?" he snapped waspishly, crossing his arms and turning away from her.

She let her paw fall from her mouth and sighed, giving up on the argument.

"I'm sorry, Mistoffelees," she said gently, laying a paw on his shoulder, "I didn't mean that. Besides, Plato and I would never have worked out. there wasn't enough common ground. I didn't mean to hurt you by saying that. I'm just so upset with you because I care about you more than any cat in the world. And it hurts to know that you are suffering so badly that you have become dependent on pills. I'm very disappointed in you,"

"I'm disappointed in myself too, you know," he replied, not moving to face her just yet, "I just can't seem to stop myself from using."

"I know," she replied tenderly, snuggling his back with her head, "I shouldn't be so ** you. It's a bigger problem that you can handle. You didn't ask for this. Let me help you through it. Together, we can fight this. You know? We're a team,"

He shrugged, "It's not going to be fun, by any means. I-is it worth it, really? I mean....I'm fine except when I'm high, but withdrawal...it's going to be torture for me, let alone whoever has to take care of me during that time..."

"Oh, it's necessary," she replied sternly, "If you continue on like this, you may put us in a financial rut, or get seriously injured or even OD and wind up dead in a gutter. I'm not letting any of that happen to you. And don't worry, I'll take care of you. Once it's out of your system and you aren't using it as a crutch, you'll feel infinitely better,"

She moved her paw onto his back, rubbing up and down. She would help her love to be fully recovered at any cost.

Mistoffelees rolled his shoulders and leaned into the rub, "All right then, Victoria. Whatever you say," he slowly turned back to her and pulled her back into his lap, nuzzling her neck, though the nuzzle soon turned into a lick, and the lick into a kiss.

"Oh, Mistoffelees," Victoria giggled, his kiss tickling her neck and sending shivers down her spine, "And you said you were a 'distant, loveless, lump!' I highly doubt that,"

She purred, leaning into him closely.

(Gotta go soon)

"I figured, as I'm going to be a bit grouchy for the next few weeks, I might as well make up for that now," he replied, nipping at her ear.

She flinched in pleasure, giving him a playful growl.

"Not, too fiesty, now. I still have a broken leg and dozens of stitches," Victoria reminded him, pawing at his ear.

(Yeah, me too, actually. I must brush the teeth... du, dun, DUN!)

She, in turn, brushed a paw over his headfur and kissed his nose.

"I love you," she whispered, gazing into his eyes, "You know that no matter what you do or whatever happens, I will always love you. You do know that, right?"

"I know. Love you too, Tori," he smiled and placed her back don onto the bed, standing back up, "I need to go talk to Munkus and Tugger. Tell them I'm going to get clean."

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