FINALLY UPDATED AFTER SEVEN YEARS! It's the year 2005, and Father Ted has decided to escape Craggy Island, and journey to New York on the Titanic. Typically, nothing goes to plan, much to Ted's dismay. Please read and review!

Another Lost Episode of Father Ted. It's a long time since I was last here! In which Ted and Dougal discover much stranger things than normal are going on. The children of the island are a wee bit weird. That's by Craggy Island standards...

After Dougal is injured during a ping pong battle, his irritable mother pays the parochial house a visit. Unconvinced that he is a good priest, she threatens to take him away for good. That is, unless Ted can prove her otherwise.

Bishop Brennan has hatched another diabolical plot to make life difficult on Craggy Island. A fourth misfit priest is on his way to join the lads - and this one doesn't just believe in muscular Christianity. He wants it armed to the teeth. Many "feck"s.

A group of American tourists wants a bit of local colour, and they're willing to pay. How can Ted say no? And what will Dougal do when Ted gets sick? Written for 2008 Yuletide challenge.