|Isis the Sphinx|
Author has written 27 stories for Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu Yu Hakusho, Doctor Who, Avatar: Last Airbender, Merlin, Babylon 5, Parodies and Spoofs, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, Kick-Ass, Invader Zim, and Assassin's Creed.
WOOOOOOOTTTTT!! I've been here for six years now! Thank you to all my lovely readers/reviewer who have kept my interest in doing this! And thanks to all the great writers that I can't stop reading!!
So, as the above line says, I've been here for six years. I've done much growing in six years, and it shows in my writing. The older the piece, the lesser the quality. Please be aware of that. However, I will not take said pieces off the web, as they show my roots and where I have taken inspiration.
Welcome to my profile.
Also, feel free to take a look at my favorites list. Yes, it is huge. I spend a majority of my time reading, instead of writing. However, there is a handy "category" button to sort all of those favorites out. Make use of it. I promise you, what is there is quality writing. (For the most part. Yes, my younger self influenced a lot of my early choices.)
Help, quick – I’ve unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb
By: Jeremy Clarkson
Like any responsible parent, I would not leave a loaded gun in the children’s playroom or keep my painkillers in their sweetie tin. But it turns out that for two years there has been a nuclear bomb in one of my kitchen cupboards, between the tomato ketchup and the Rice Krispies.
It’s an American chilli sauce that was bought by my wife as a joky Christmas present. And, like all joky Christmas presents, it was put in a drawer and forgotten about. It’s called limited-edition Insanity private reserve and it came in a little wooden box, along with various warning notices. “Use this product one drop at a time,” it said. “Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart or respiratory problems. Use extreme caution.”
Unfortunately, we live in a world where everything comes with a warning notice. Railings. Vacuum cleaners. Energy drinks. My quad bike has so many stickers warning me of decapitation, death and impalement that they become a nonsensical blur.
The result is simple. We know these labels are drawn up to protect the manufacturer legally, should you decide one day to insert a vacuum-cleaner pipe up your bottom, or to try to remove your eye with a teaspoon. So we ignore them. They are meaningless. One drop at a time! Use extreme caution! On a sauce. Pah. Plainly it was just American lawyer twaddle.
I like a hot sauce. My bloody marys are known to cure squints. And at an Indian restaurant I will often order a vindaloo, sometimes without the involvement of a wager. So when I accidentally found that bottle of Insanity, I poured maybe half a teaspoonful onto my paella. And tucked in.
Burns victims often say that when they are actually on fire, there is no pain. It has something to do with the body pumping out adrenaline in such vast quantities that the nerve endings stop working. Well, it wasn’t like that for me.
The pain started out mildly, but I knew from past experience that this would build to a delightful fiery sensation. I was even looking forward to it. But the moment soon passed. In a matter of seconds I was in agony. After maybe a minute I was frightened that I might die. After five I was frightened that I might not.
The searing fire had surged throughout my head. My eyes were streaming. Molten lava was flooding out of my nose. My mouth was a shattered ruin. Even my hair hurt.
And all the time, I was thinking: “If it’s doing this to my head, what in the name of all that's holy is it doing to my innards?” I felt certain that at any moment my stomach would open and everything — my intestines, my liver, my heart, even — would simply splosh onto the floor. This is not an exaggeration. I really did think I was dissolving from the inside out.
Trying to keep calm, I raced, screaming, for the fridge and ate handfuls of crushed ice. This made everything worse. So, dimly remembering that Indians use bread when they've overdone the chillies, I cut a slice, threw it away and ate what remained of the very expensive Daylesford loaf, like a dog.
Nothing was working. And such was my desperation, I downed two litres of skimmed milk — something I would never normally touch with a barge pole. I was sweating profusely as my body frenziedly sought to realign its internal thermostat. I felt sick but didn’t dare regurgitate the poison for fear of the damage it would cause on the way out.
Even now, the following morning, I feel weak, shell-shocked, like I may die at any moment. And all I’d ingested was a drop.
Limited-edition Insanity sauce is ridiculous. It’s made in Costa Rica, from hot pepper extract, crushed red savina peppers, red tabasco pepper pulp, green tabasco pepper pulp, crushed red habanero peppers, crushed green habanero peppers, red habanero pepper powder and fruit juice.
Well, that’s what it says on the tin. But I don’t believe it. I think it’s made from uranium, plutonium, fertiliser, sulphuric acid, nitric acid, hydrochloric acid and ammonia, with a splash of mace. I do not believe it’s a foodstuff. It’s a weapon.
And I may have a point, since on the Scoville scale, which measures the intensity of chilli peppers, the habanero sits just below the “daisy cutter”, that American bomb designed to wipe out nations.
At present you are allowed to take 100ml of liquid onto a plane because the authorities believe such a small amount could not possibly bring down an airliner. They are wrong. If I painted just 1ml of Insanity sauce on the window of a 747, it would melt. And this is stuff you can buy on the internet. Stuff that has been sitting in my kitchen for two years.
So, what’s to be done? As you know, I am not Gordon Brown. I do not think problems can be solved with a ban, even though I really believe that a bottle of Insanity sauce is more deadly than a machinegun.
The obvious course of action is to remove warning notices from household goods that are not dangerous — cakes, for instance, and staplers. This way, we would pay more attention when something is supplied with labels advising us of great peril ahead.
Sadly, however, since we are now one of the most litigious countries in the world, this will never happen. Nor can Insanity be uninvented. It exists. A bottle of the damn stuff is sitting on my desk now and I have no idea what I should do with it.
I can’t pour it down the sink because it would get into the water table. I can’t put it in the bin because it would end up as landfill. And that’s no good for something which has a half-life of several thousand years. I can’t even take it — as I would with a grenade I’d found — to the police because they’d be tempted to use it as a legal device for getting information out of criminals. And that wouldn’t work at all. Last night, when the bread had failed and the milk was finished, I would happily have confessed to 43 counts of homosexual rape. Plus there is a side effect — certain death.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, signature, or whatever, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, Isis the Sphinx
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,GwenFan22, Harryismyheroicsavior, Hermione'sBFF454, Lilly Rae, daisyduke80, hup123hup123slapslap, Isis the Sphinx
If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now
To those of you looking for something to read. I suggest Scribbler, Yuugi Motoh, DragonDancer1014, MyAibou, Vathara, and anyone else I may have in my favorite
Just to let you all know, I always say "Keep Writing!" Somewhere in my reviews to people. It's just a bit of encouragement for you, or a customary goodbye kind of thing. It is NOT meant as a command to hurry up and update. I'm just BEING NICE!
Please look at who I have for Favorite authors. Especially Yuugi Motoh. His story(I'm assuming 'he')"The College Years" deserves more attention than its getting, and should be read by as many people as possible. Thanks.
The Eventual Truth
The Eventual Truth is that the meaning of the universe is 42 and that "The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" is real. Little white mice do rule the world and we are just puppets. Marrionettes with the strings of Time attached to our hands, feet and head. Our manipulator controling us high above our Earthly stage. Is out exploration of space really the universe trying to understand itself, or is it the unearthly tyrant blowing a raspberry and pointing? A tyrant who is just a child in the big picture of things. For why would an adult cause such pain and suffering to its creation?
Maybe it is the adult who is more immature than the child. The adult is unable to do anything without violence, while only the child can see the better solution.
-By Isis the Sphinx.
Quotes, from either real life or fiction:
"It went poof." ~me
"There are many differnt ways to die, not all of them are the way you think" ~me
"I ate it."~best friend
"Where's the remote?"~Mom "Somewhere,"~Me.
"Fantastic!" Doctor Who, 11th season. Whoot!
"I'm the Doctor." Doctor Who. Pick a season, it's said.
Dalek: Am I alone in the Universe?
Dalek: So are you. ~Imprisoned Dalek to Doctor in "Dalek"
"Hmm...Coffee and tacos. So disgusting it just might work."~Gilmore Girls
"What is an Oprah?"~Teal'c, from Stargate SG-1
"O'Neill. Spell it with two L's!" And he holds up three fingers...~Jack O'Neill, Stargate SG-1
"Feed me!"~The plant in 'Little Shop of Horrors'. I just saw that! It was GOOD!
"Yami smirked. 'Despite what Seto Kaiba may think, we have better things to do than be at his beck and call for Duels. The last time I checked, I did not have 'Property of KaibaCorp Research' stamped on my arse, and neither did you.'
Yugi giggled. "I think I'd've noticed if he tried that. --He's not going to leave us alone for long, though."~Yugi and Yami from "The College Years. The Different Story."
"Uh-huh. And I should be scared, why?"
"I'm gonna have a chocolate ice cream bar in one minute. ONE MINUTE!" Shane, from Survivor Season spring 2006. God, was that funny...
Yugi: "No Joey, wild mushrooms are poisonous!"
"In my dungeon, in my castle, in my realm, the only one who makes threats is me." Pegasus
Pegasus: "Oh, certainly Keith, I'll do whatever you say! Just give my body a moment to recover from the complete paralysis that your terrifying demands have shot me into!"
Pegasus:"There is a bright side to having fossilized monsters, they make fine paperweights." :evil laughter. Yami Yugi remains silent.: "Hmmm ... tough crowd."
"Curse you Yugi Muto! You and your Kuribohs!"
This is all from the movie
Narrator: "Even eternity doesn't last forever." The narrator from Yugioh, The Movie.
Yugi:running for his poor dear life:
"Anubis is gone. No one could return from a defeat so throughly devastating as that! Well ... no one but Kaiba that is ... I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?"
Kaiba:after duel with Pegasus: "That's all, folks."
More quotes, but from random places in the series... Kaiba: "Nooooooooooo!"
Yami Bakura: "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Ishizu:thinking: Destiny is served.
Rebecca: "Mmm. Goodbye cutie!" :kisses Yugi's cheek, making him blush:
Mokuba: "Tell your stupid lizard to spit out my brother before I force him!"
Army Commander: "Now in the name of our king, we must fight to protect the peace!"
Mana: "I smell trouble!" :roar close by: "Now I hear trouble!"
Young Sugoroku Mutou: "In fact, if I ever lose a game ... then I'll exchange my tux for denim overalls and collect years instead of chips ..."
"You better make good on your promise to restore my brother. Because if you don't, I'll take great pleasure in separating your soul from your body in my own way!"
"All right Yugi. It's time to sink or swim."
Kaiba:after he awakens his dragon: "All right, I'm just about ready to wake up from this dream."
Yami: "Say something!"
Babylon 5 quotes:
Kosh: They are alone. They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
Sinclair: Who- the Narn or the Centauri?
Ivanova: Mr. Garibaldi, you’re sitting at my station, using my equipment. Is there a reason for this or should I just go ahead and snap your hands off at the wrist?
Franklin: You’re a pessimist.
Ivanova: I’m Russian. We understand these things.
Londo to Vir: What do you want, you moon faced assassin of joy?
Ivanova: Don’t- you’re too young to experience that much pain.
Tu’Pari: Are you Ambassador G’Kar?
G’Kar: This is Ambassador G’Kar’s quarters. This is Ambassador G’Kar’s table. This is Ambassador G’Kar’s dinner. What part of this progression escapes you?
Kosh: We take no interest in the affairs of others.
Ivanova: Mr. Garibaldi, there are days I’m very glad I don’t have to think the way you do.
Kosh: The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Ivanova: I think I’ll just walk to and fro for a while, maybe over to my console. After that, maybe I’ll try pacing to and fro, you know, just for the kick of it.
Londo: How much justice can you afford?
G’Kar: The Universe is run by the complex weaving of three elements- energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.
Kosh to Morden: Leave this place. They are not for you. Go. Leave. Now.
Ivanova: Why does my mouth always taste like old carpet in the morning?
Computer: Unknown. Checking medical log.
Sinclair: Morning Lieutenant Commander. Problem sleeping?
Ivanova: Sleeping is not the problem. Waking up- that is the problem. I’ve always had a hard time getting up when it’s dark outside.
Sinclair: But in space it’s always dark.
Ivanova (with feeling) I know, I know.
Morden: I’m not allowed to leave until you answer my question-so, what do you want?
When the station hasn’t blown up.
Ivanova: No “boom” today. “Boom” tomorrow. There’s always a “boom” tomorrow.
Sinclair: Enough people have played with my brain enough this year.
Ivanova: On your way back I’d like you to take the time to learn the Babylon 5 mantra: Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova’s recommendations. Ivanova is God. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out.
Dr.Traski: What better way to go out than in the cause of advancing scientific knowledge?
Ivanova: Is this a multiple-choice question, because I have some ideas.
Ivanova, concerning Captain Pierce: Worst case of testosterone poisoning I’ve ever seen.
Zathras: You take-Zathras die. You leave-Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.
Kosh: And so it begins. You have…forgotten something.
Londo: This is like being nibbled to death by…what are those earth creatures called- feathers, long bill, webbed feet, go “quack”?
Londo: Like being nibbled to death by cats.
Ivanova: And if you’re not happy with the seating arrangements I will personally order your seats to be moved outside, down the hall, across the station and into the fusion reactor. Am I perfectly, absolutely clear about this?
Ivanova: I can only conclude I’m paying off Karma at a vastly accelerated rate.
Ivanova: Now you can give me something for the pain. Where were you when I was going through puberty?
Ivanova: Figures. All my life I’ve fought against imperialism. Now, suddenly, I am the expanding Russian frontier.
G’Kar: The future isn’t what it used to be.
Centauri Emperor to Kosh: How will this end?
Kosh: In fire.
Garibaldi to Franklin: Maybe someone should’ve labeled the future, “some assembly required”.
Ivanova: Welcome to Babylon 5- the last, best hope for a quick buck.
G’Kar: There are humans for whom the words “never again” carry special meaning.
Sheridan: Do you always worry when things are going well?
Ivanova: I don’t have time to worry about them when they’re not.
Kosh: If you go to Z’ha’dum, you will die.
Ivanova: Does the phrase “No way in hell.” Ring a bell?
Ivanova: It was the end of the earth year 2259, and the war was upon us. As anticipated, a few days after the earth-Centauri treaty was announced, the Centauri widened their war to include many of the Non-Aligned worlds. And there was another war brewing closer to home- a personal one whose cost would be higher than any of us could imagine. We came to this place because Babylon 5 was our last, best hope for peace. By the end of 2259, we knew that it had failed, but in doing so it became something greater- as the war expanded, it became our last, best hope for victory. Because sometimes, peace is another word for surrender, and because secrets have a way of getting out.
Ivanova: The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace.
But, in the year of the Shadow War, it became something greater- our last, best hope for victory.
The year is 2260. The place: Babylon 5.
Ivanova: With all due respect, that was grade-A stupid!
Ivanova: I don’t want to get killed because of a typo- that would be embarrassing.
Marcus on how to stop the first ones from leaving: I’ll put a bucket on my head and pretend to be the ancient Vorlon god Booji.
Ivanova, suddenly getting an idea: That’s it!
Marcus: Fine, I’ll get a bucket.
Here, you see my stories, just below this line. They range in quality. The earlier the date posted, the lesser the quality. The later, the better. Expect good things from the Merlin stories and the ACMSES fics. You MIGHT enjoy the anime stories if you can handle fangirling fanfics. Seriously, Illusory Love was started when I was in 9th grade and very much a rookie to fanfiction.
I have given you my guide. All I can ask of you now is to read and review, and leave your thoughts on these stories.
Unsafe External Link