Okay , now I've decided to change my profile - the last one was too long. So read and enjoy !
Name : Darth Vyper a.k.a Jo , Jocelyn , Lynn or Piper.
Link to fictionpress account :- http://www.fictionpress.com/~icyvampirechick
Link to deviantart account :- http://icyvampiress.deviantart.com/
Age : 19.
Sex : Female ( still single - SOB ! )
Current Occupation : Writer; student.
Dreams : To be a professional actress. I would like to study zoology or veterinary science as well.
Physical profile : 46.5 ( still fat dudes ! ) , 5'3 1/2 ( 160.5 cm ) , silver eyes with dyed light reddish-brown hair ( which is naturally deep brown ) and bad , fair skin. ( God , I hate pimples )
Current residence : -cricket chirps in the background- Um... nowhere ?
Hobbies : Writing , reading , sketching , exercising , playing with my dog.
Pets : Snowball ( dog ) ( I used to have hamsters -mum got rid of them because my sis was asthmatic- , birds -one of them died so we set the other one free- , a tank full of tropical fish -dad got annoyed he had to clean the tank , so he aided in the fishnapping of my fishes by my uncle- , terrapins -one ate the other up. Don't ask. Seriously.- , chameleons -sadly , they ran off from my garden when my dad cemented the porch. But I thought I saw one a week ago - oh yeah ! There's a SURVIVOR !! )
Personal stuff : I am an artist , an ex-pianist ( I can still play ) , a writer and a soprano singer. I'm writing my first fictional romance book at the moment and I'm most probably getting it published by the end of this year. I'm more brainy ( in a scientific way - I have an IQ level of 135 , it's not higher sadly , because I'm born premature so my brain isn't fully developed. Don't worry , I'm not psychotic. Much. ) than most - but I LOVE the arts. They are my passion and soul. I speak a variety of different languages : English , Malay , Tamil , Russian , Chinese and Indonesian ( a bit )
Fav. colour : BLACK ! BLUE ! RED ! and of course ...drum roll... PURPLE !!
Fav. food : Seafood , cheese , pizza and of course - CHOCOLATE !!
Fav. drink : Milkshake , orange juice , CHOCOLATE FLAVOURED MILK !!
Fav. books : Harry Potter, The Princess Diaries, Anne Rice novels, Darren Shan Saga, Twilight ( At this point , you'll realise I'm a vampire story fan ), New Moon, Eclipse ( this is the best so far ), A Quick Bite, A Bite to Remember ( both from Lynsay Sands :- To all you vampire fans out there you should check this story out because it's awesome , and make sure you're at least 14 because of certain ... um...things ), Dark-Hunter Series ( holy bamoly - I blew off 300 bucks to buy nine of her books ! They're awesome ! ), The Charmed series ( Especially the one called as "As Puck would have it" or something like that , I can't actually remember )
Fav. Movie : X-men ( 1st and 2nd one especially ), Spiderman ( the 3rd one ROCKS ! ), Star Wars ( I was brought up in a 'you must honour "The Battle Between the Sith and the Jedi" ' , don't ask ), Chronicles of Narnia, Van Helsing ( I love Count Dracula - He's so hot...swoon... ), Just My Luck , She's the Man, The Sixth Sense, The Pink Panther, Yours, Mine and Ours ( The new version ), Sky High, Night at The Museum, Alvin and the Chipmunks ( adorable little critters ) ... and a whole lot more, so I guess I better stop the rambling.
Fav. Animal : Wolves, Horses, Dogs, Tigers, Snakes and basically I LOVE all the animals ( except the creepy ones like leeches and caterpillars )
My family : Dr. Peter ( the coolest and most hyped up dad in the world , not too mention the most sadistic doc on the planet ), Florence ( my whacky mum who has a really bad sense of direction. I swear we were going round and round in the parking lot because she kept missing the exit ), Rowena ( my annoying sister who is also labelled as 'Brat', 'Bratiox', 'Le Brat', 'rodent', 'shrew' or at certain times 'maggot' ) and me ! ( The nut of the family which is deemed as 'mischievious' and 'hyper' by most of my friends ) We are all whacky and insane backstage, but when you meet us - we become the world's most dignified people on the planet. Hypocrisy - I know.
Ok... Back to embarassing moments :
"Jo, your zip is open " - A friend of mine ( 5 years ago )
"Ewww... Mummy ! She ( points at me ) picked her nose !" - My younger sis who surprisingly has escaped my plans for a much awaited painful death ( just joking, I'm not a sadist... At least, not that much )
"Mummy , Jesus just came down the plane !" - Me at the airport after I saw this guy who really looked like Jesus.
"You're not a present from heaven , you're a giftbox from hell." - Me towards my annoying sister.
"With a great computer comes great power, with great power comes great responsibility. Take care of the laptop , mum" - Me towards my mum who just got a new laptop.
I can't remember anymore for now...
Fav. Conversations:
During lecture.
Guy1 : I'm trying to find these lights ( What he meant was he's trying to find the switches to the lights )
Guy 2 : It's above you. Moron.
( whole lecture hall laughs )
At home , when my sis was wrestling with my dad.
Dad : Ouch ! ( pushes my sis away )
Sis : What ?
Me : What's wrong ?
Mom : Darling , are you ok ?
Dad : She put her elbow in the wrong place ( massaging his privates )
At home.
Dad : Hey look ! It's the swamp thingy ! ( too much work )
Me : Um... Sure... What ever you say.
At the hospital.
Grandma : BlahBlahBlah... ( talking bad about me )
( My mum looks like she's about to strangle grandma , so my sis takes an umbrella and pokes her butt )
Grandma : What did you do that for ?
Sis : I thought you were talking too much.
During English lecture.
Lecturer : What do they mean by the phrase 'blue sky' ?
Me : Um... the sky is blue ?
Lecturer : ( groans and smacks forehead ) Of course the sky is blue...
Me : Then , what do you mean ?
Lecturer : Nevermind...
Me ?
Over the phone.
Me : Guess what Uncle Gobbs did ?
Mum : What ?
Me : He smacked a shrew with a broomstick , ran over a cat with the church van and butchered a snake with a wooden stick in the space of 12 hours.
Mum : Oh. My. God.
Me : ( shrugs ) Well , he is your brother.
In the Mall.
( My sister smacks my tummy right after I ate a chicken burger. Go figure ! )
Me : BURP !
( Everyone stops and stares )
sis : -gulp- Whoops.
Me : ROWENA ! ( eye begans twitching )
sis : Ahhhhh ! ( runs away screaming )
In My Mum's Room.
( Me and my sister just fought )
Sis : Mummy , can I sleep with you tonight ?
Mum : Why ?
Sis : I just fought with her.
Mum : So ? You can still sleep in the same room , right ?
Sis : No , she'll try to kill me when I'm sleeping.
In the Restroom at College.
Me : Oh , -bleep- !
Hoi Ling : What ? What's wrong ?
Me : The door is stuck !
Hoi Ling : WHAT ?
Me : You heard - ( starts screaming in Chinese ) Help me someone ! I don't want to die in the toilet ! The college one at that !
Hoi Ling : Turn the knob , Jo.
Me : ( turn the knob ) Hey , what do you know - it works !
Hoi Ling : Drama queen.
Over the phone.
Me : Mummy , I don't think I can be THE TOP at uni.
Mum : Oh - why not ?
Me : I have these creepy brainy kids from another planet cutting me.
Mum : Why don't you just push them down the stairs ? You know - just push one kid a day to make it less suspicious , and then you'll go back up to the top.
Me : ( pause ) Say... now that's a good idea.
My sis from the background : OMG ! You people are so evil !
Me : ( snort ) Looks who's talking.
In the living room.
Dad : Ok , and now we all sleep together...
Me : Ew ! You do realise that statement sounds so perverted , right ?
Dad : I mean sleep now - yeah , that's what I mean. Now.
Me : Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Fav. Mix-ups : ( these incidents occured all on the same day , my mum decided to blame it on the food )
1. Mum : Snowball , release darling !
The rest of us : Huh ?
2. Sis : Mummy , I banged the wall on my knee.
3. Me : I ate bread with toasted milk.
4. Sis : It didn't step on my tail !
Fav Quotes from my favourite books : ( This part is still under construction )
Stupid , shiny Volvo owner. - Twilight
Edward : And so the lion fell in love with the lamb………….
Bella : What a stupid lamb.
Edward : What a sick , masochistic lion.
- Twilight
Edward : Afraid of a needle ……….. Oh , a sadistic vampire , intent on torturing her to death , sure , no problem , she runs of to meet him. An IV on the other hand……….
- Twilight
Bella : Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk ?
Edward : And where do you fit into that scheme ?
Bella : Oh , I’m with the vampires , of course.
Edward : Anything to get out of dancing.
Bella : Anything.
- Twilight
Edward : Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down.
Bella : Um.……. I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school ?
- Twilight
Jacob : Bella ! Ouch ! Damn it, open the window ! OUCH !
Bella : What are you doing ?
Jacob : I’m trying to keep my promise !
Bella : When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie’s tree ?
- New Moon
Embry : Yeah, right ! Did you see Jake ? Even Sam couldn’t have phased on the fly like that. He saw Paul losing it, it took him, what, half a second to attack ? The boy’s got a gift.
Jared : Paul’s been fighting longer. I’ll bet you ten bucks he leaves a mark.
Embry : You’re on. Jake’s a natural. Paul doesn’t have a prayer.
- New Moon
Embry : Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.
Jared : I do. Every single day.
Embry : Aw, Paul doesn’t lose his temper every day. Maybe two out of three.
- New Moon
Mike : Don’t kid yourself, Bella. The guy’s head over heels for you.
Bella : I know. Life is complicated.
Mike : And girls are cruel.
- New Moon
Bella : Aw, Jake ! I’m already grounded ! Why do you think I haven’t been down to La Push to kick your butt for avoiding my phone calls ?
- New Moon
Quil : So that’s why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur.
Sam : And your chocolate fur reflects what ? How sweet you are ?
- Eclipse
Edward : Amazing. How can someone so tiny be so annoying ?
Alice It’s a talent.
- Eclipse
Bella : I hate you Jacob Black.
Jacob : That’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion.
Bella : I’ll give you passionate. Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.
- Eclipse
Bella : If I think about you tonight, it will be because I’m having a nightmare.
- Eclipse
Jacob : Go fetch her a space heater……… I’m not a St. Bernard.
- Eclipse
Fred : Don’t Ginny , we’ll send you loads of owls.
George : We’ll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.
Mrs. Weasley : George !
- Harry Potter
Hagrid : ……. You forget that dog , an’ you forget what’s it guardin’ , that’s between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel -
Harry : Aha !….. So there’s someone called Nicholas Flamel involved , is there ?
- Harry Potter
Hermione : Devil’s Snare , Devil’s Snare…… What did Professor Sprout say ? It likes the dark and the damp-
Harry : So light a fire !
Hermione : Yes - of course - but there’s no wood !
Ron : HAVE YOU GONE MAD ?…….. ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT ?
Hermione : Oh , right !
- Harry Potter
Okay , finally it's on to my muses. I got quite a number ... ( Please take note that the first nine muses are all vampires. And quit giving me those weird looks, people. Frankly speaking, I don't how 'vampirism' entered my head in the first place. )
1. Scott :- Kind , caring , understanding , romantic and main muse - the companionship muse which keeps me happy when I'm lonely a.k.a. imaginary boyfriend ( Yes , I'm pathetic , I have guys milling around me yet I ignore them and focus on unrealistic hotties - blame it on the hormones peeps ! )
2. Zan :- Leadership muse , completely authorative and rarely emerges unless I'm in my element. I'm kinda scared off him actually, but don't tell him I said that...
3. Kay :- More secretive muse , always disappears and finds Stan highly annoying. Meh, he's not around in my head most of the time. Only God knows where he goes...
4. Stan :- Funny muse , always clumsy and loves infuriating Kay to the brink of insanity... I think he's partially gay.
5. Ryan :- Patient muse , peacekeeper and always tries to stop Kay from murdering Stan. He's always somewhere in the background, that one...
6. Eric :- Youngest muse of all. Quiet and really good advisor. Emotionally upset about certain things in life. Yup, I really adore his perspective opinions and that cute smile...
7. Khiran :- Fatherly muse , commanding , overprotective and wary of Scott. He's just too darn freaky and possesive - I seriously need to give him a book on 'How to Loosen Up Your Pompous-Ass-Fatherliness' for Christmas...
8. Gerard :- Mostly fades into the shadows but I have a feeling he has something to do with my artistic and writing talents. He's so discreet and antisocial...
9. Shawn :- Really quiet and a pacifist. Very reserved and calm muse. I would be considered supremely lucky if he dropped by at least once a year...
10. Vyper :- Technically pure evil and all out for ass kicking - kind of gangsterish and quite volatile for a demon. She's one side of me you don't want to cross; trust me on that one...
11. Lynn :- Pure angelic; the softer and more compassionate side in me that rarely emerges of late due to the continuous pressures in my life. Alas, Vyper overshadows Lynn most of the time when everything around me just crumbles...
That's all for the muses !
And sadly , that's all for my profile : Tune in to all my fics people ! Bye for now !
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