Name: Christopher Paul Burns

Penname: Phoenix Helix (Well obviously)

Other nicknames: Phoenix, Sparda Pyreheart, Slayer, Milchaim Flame (so many names lol)

Birthdate: 10.10.88 (20 already...oh god im getting old! :P)

Blood type: Divine lol its AB- !

Height: 6ft 1

Weight: 12 stone (yep i weighed myself )

Favorite Music: Metal and Rock

Favorite bands: Lordi, Trivium, Dragonforce, Iron maiden, AC/DC, Disturbed, Elliot Minor (i know good music!!)

Personal favorite weapon (for fics): Guitar Sword (yep its a electric guitar...and a sword!)

My motto in life: Forever invoke your inner fire, even in the coldest darkness it'll shine the brightest light.

People ive come to know on this site: Sabine Howlstone (formerly known as DaggerTribal) Purpleguiese (formally known as Sho-mesha, I-Am-Dark-Rose, Soultail Omega-Light, Sir Edward, Ratface, Ravyn Cresent, Solark, ArcBus, H. K. Trautmann, Kamesen, PunkRockDivaxX, SylphStarWind(hope to get to know more)

Hobbies: Drawing (Sho-mesha should know, i drew Helios for her!) Reading (if i didn't like reading i'd be on the wrong site woundn't i?) and writting fanfics (obviously!)

Adultfanfiction profile link: http://anime.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296869055 (ive only just become a member XD sorry theres no fanfics on it...at the moment... XD: 21st April)

Deviantart profile link: http://phoenixhelix.deviantart.com/

Msn Address: spardathephoenixhelixreborn@hotmail.com (now i wanna make one thing perfectly clear: no spam emails or anything illegal when talking to me online, violators of these terms i'll remove permenantly. but to those who feel like a conversation or two then please feel free to have a chat sometime)

Myspace Profile link: http://www.myspace.com/thephoenixsparda (again same as above)

Yahoo Address: superphoenix01@yahoo.com (use to send requests for fanart only)

My Pokemon (DS) code: 004428235031 (if you wish for a battle or two or wanna trade or what ever the hell you do, feel free to add this then PM me with your code, always up for a challenge)

A few words:

I finally updated my profile! hi everyone i know its been a hell of a long time since ive updated on my fanfics (Work and everything, you understand how it is :P) but as soon as i get the time and finish new chapters this will be the first place i'll be so you may review them

also just so all know i will only review the best fanfics i encounter i wont just put one down for the sake of it. no offense meant to all the great writers out there that i havent reviewed their fics for yet.

Laters

Phoenix Helix

Favorite Quotes

"I cant believe they cancelled Viva Pinata! It had talking CGI Pinatas; what more d'you want!?" (Yami Yugi from Yugioh Abridged)

"Come and get it! its a running buffet: ALL YOU CAN EAT!!" (Shawn of the dead, while Shawn's leading all the Zombies away from the Winchester)

"Loxley!! I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon!!" "Why a Spoon? why not an axe or a dagge.." "Because it's dull you twit it'll hurt more!" (The Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves)

"Hail to the king baby" (Ash from Army of Darkness)

"You see this? This...is..my..BOOMSTICK!!" (Ash from Army of Darkness)

Anna: "Do i look like i need the answers?" Roy: "You look like you need a pimp..." (The Perfect Score)

"And if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya! (Cross chops) SUCK IT!!" (Degeneration X)

"YOU'RE FIRRRRRRREEEDDD!!" (Vince Mcmahon)

"If this stuff lowers my blood alcohol, somebody call 911!!" (Stone Cold Steve Austin)

"And i'll stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry!" (Stone Cold Steve Austin)

"And thats the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so!" (Stone Cold Steve Austin)

"I dont believe in beating a man when he's down...I kick him its a whole lot easier!" (own personal quote)

"Pure-evil-bliss -- verb -- To be in a state of evilness so complete that it is impossible not laugh manically while imagining the death of your enemies and being totally oblivious to your surroundings. People can remain in this state for days, months, even years. People suffering from such effects are often referred to as Treacherous Bastards." (A quote from Wesker Chick's fanfic: Survivor Resident Evil Style)

"Stop stealing mah smut!" (Sabine Heartstone in a private conversation i had with once xDDD)

Things that come to mind when I think of a game/movie/etc character

(The following comments I use are in no way a means of slandering any Authors here on fanfiction.net’s fanfics if I so mention them so please don’t get angry if I mention your fanfic guys)

Resident Evil Characters

Chris Redfield: A typical hero kinda person… need to read more fics to say more stuff bout him

Jill Valentine: Most authors have described this woman as a ‘slutty’ character and I can see their point of view: if wearing a tubetop and a short skirt in a city filled with zombies isn’t a way to get some attention I don’t know what is

Barry Burton: "Jill...Saaaaandwich..." xD Not really someone ive really noticed when reading fics, other then in Liquid’s Punishment series :P Poor old Barry is so retarded lol but in a very funny way :P

Albert Wesker: GOD he’s EVIL! Lol but that’s why so many people love him, after all Wesker’s so damn boring when he’s not evil and Wesker Chick would probably agree :P yes I’ve read your fics love :P even as a virus powered superhuman he never seems to get a break.

Rebecca Chambers: Well what can I say: SHES CUTE! And from reading Wesker Chick’s fanfic: Survivor Resident Evil Style fic her persona can appear innocent but so kinky :P (Read the fanfic and you’ll understand…Leather and a whip what more can I say)

Other S.T.A.R.S members: well theres not much to say about em that can be said in more then two sentences: Kevin the Bravo team pilot never got a single word in, Forrest made a wrong turn into the birds nest, Richard got too close to the snake after I told him NOT to go anywhere near the attic…oh wait… I MEANT to tell him! But I digress… anyways Enrico found out too much and got shot, Edward died in resi zero early, and I don’t even wanna get started on that dumbass Kenneth! It doesn’t take a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist to aim a gun at a zombies head and fire! But nooooo! He had to stagger backwards and pretty much let the zomb tuck in to him like it was an all you can eat Chinese buffet! Mmmmm Chinese… that takes care of the Bravo team, now the only guys ive not said so far is Joe Frost, you’ll remember him as the guy who got turned into doggie food in resi one so not much to say about him, this only leaves Brad the chicken wuss! God you know I actually cheered Nemesis on when he rammed that tentacle/spike/anal probe/ whatever you call it! Into him :P…………… I’ve just realised ive typed more then two sentences about these guys… (Annoyed Grunt)

Billy Coen: One of those guys who’s always in the wrong place at the wrong time…and if you’ve read Kamesens fic ‘Resident Evil Super Quest’ then you’ll agree that he takes making Becky jealous to extremes with the wrong results! lol

Carlos Olivera: He’s a cool guy I guess, his persona is a HELL of a lot better in the game then in the film even if he was played by one of my favourite actors

Leon Scott Kennedy: Another of those characters that somehow makes a comeback after taking almost 9 years to add him as a main character to another Resident Evil Game (well one that actually counts, not alot of us ever played Gaiden). So far he’s labelled as a ‘pretty boy’ in many of the fics ive read, to be honest I cant see why, but then again im a dude so I cant say much lol :P i never looked at a guy that way. The LADIES now that’s a different story let me tell you lol :P

Ada Wong: when I played resi 4 and she made her first appearance the first thing I said was: ADA?! Aww a perfectly good game ruined!! Although she was a hell of a lot better then in resi two… JESUS talk about bad voice acting on her part!

Sherry Birkin: A annoying brat…enough said…

Annette Birkin: A dumbass thinking that a ten foot slobbering beast will still be her hubby…

William Birkin: For a dude that’s got close ties to Wesker he sure is the opposite to the big man, when I saw how lame he was I was like: what the f..k you doing Wesker!? You’re supposed to kick the crap outta that guy not let him tag along! Then again even the biggest and baddest can have a tag along to do all the work… it worked for Zapp Branigan with that alien thing Kipp in Futurama… and Mr Burns with Smithers in the Simpsons…

HUNK: He’s one of the best guys in the series, not as cool as Wesker like but he’s right up there :)

Tofu: Tofu…Toofunky Lol :P

Steve Burnside: If theres ever anyone I would ever kill in the most in humane ways known and unknown to man; knowing I could get away with it, it would be this guy! My GOD! He’s obnoxious! Many thanks are to Liquid for putting him through hell with Leon in one of his fics If I remember correctly, though come to think about it I feel kinda sorry for Leon…

Alexia Ashford: Now even though her reputation is that of being a psychotic b..h you cant deny shes a firey hot lady! Lol that’s right I admit it shes cute! Hey she did us all a favor: She killed Steve!! YAYYYYYY!! But thinking of what she was up to with Nemesis in Wesker Chick’s ‘Survivor Resident Evil Style’ fic… (grimices) NASTY!

Alfred Ashford: Man + desire to be his hot sister = sooooooo wrong… Talk about a few screws missing…DAMN!!

Jack Krauser: ITS ACTION MAN COME TO LIFE!! And this time he comes with a freaky wing/shield/sword arm/thingy! No seriously don’t you think he looks like one of those old action man figures from back in the 90’s?

Luis Sera: this guy’s cool even if he reminds us all of Antonio Banderas :P he’s a smooth talker with the ladies, a great shot with that Red9 gun, and has a sense of humour that’s similar to mine ;) though Wangpailing is NOT particually the way i'd wanna die xD

Ashley Graham: My, my… times like this I wish I spent more time awake in college… though then again theres only one girl like Ashley Graham and that’s…Ashley Graham! (Drools) she’s got a serious problem when it comes to shouting but that’s nothing I cant take care of (Every mans secret skill: Selective hearing) :P all in all she’s in equal hotness and cuteness to Rebecca… Now who to choose: Rebecca or Ashley… Cute babe with a hidden kinky side, or a innocent college girl that’s almost willing to do anything for you provided you save her sweet ass at least once… MY GOD! ITS SO HARD TO CHOOSE! Lol :P

Bitores Mendez: give him a club and then he can say “Club…” (Slams it on persons head) “KLUNK!”

Ramon Salazar: He made a good effort when he turned into that monster thingy. But even then he did a bad job of exacting revenge… I mean who exactly dies trying to kill him? Seriously!? He also ranks as the 3rd most obnoxious fker in the whole resi series in my book

Osmond Saddler: when I first saw him I figured he looked a lot like the Gatekeeper from that old video board game ATMOSFEAR (that’s if anyone remembers it, it’s a good game for Halloween :D) and that thought has never changed lol :P when he killed Sera with that…thing from his robe I was like “WHAT THE…bloody hell?”

The Merchant: I almost threw my can of cider (yup I prefer it to beer) at the tv screen when he first opened his coat, I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA FLASH ME! Lol he always gets the best role in most fics ive read so far.

Now is there anyone im missing that’s important? Oh yeah the Outbreak team

Well to make this short: Cindys my third favorite babe (evil though thanks to Sylphstarwinds fic) Kevin…meh, Jims a pain in the arse, David’s a cool guy, Mark’s the tough guy, George is the doc dude, Alyssa’s a self centered b..h and Yoko… well I’ve never come across a Chinese/Japanese college girl I don't like put it that way… lol

Well I think that wraps the resi guys up :) so now onto lets see…. The final fantasy guys! And the many beautiful ladies… :D different game companies, but the best things in life never change :P

Lets start with FF7 possibly the greatest of all the Final Fantasys!

Cloud: Well he was cool at first, then he became a sobfest for most of the end of the game and the main half of Advent Children. But then he made a comeback and became the cool guy once more…

Aeris/Aerith: No matter which name you call her by, she is without a doubt one of the most beautiful game females ever created! With a smile that melts the hearts of all who see it, the gentle soul within her and a body to even it all out who wouldn’t want her? :P

Tifa: Now most guys would choose Tifa over Aeris/Aerith for two reasons but mostly one: the second reason is the fact she’s a kickass chick who knows how to rumble, and the main reason: Ahem her ‘assets’ lets leave it at that… as for me I’m indecisive about which one :P I like em for different reasons and before you all say anything this has nothing to do with Tifa’s ‘assets’ lol

Barret: if there was anyone in the whole world that reminds us all of MR T it would be this guy, only he’s not as mighty and has a gun on his left arm :P he’s a bit of a loudmouth if you ask me but at least he’s genuine and he’s devoted to his daughter.

Red XIII/Nanaki: Well…he’s something lol I call him a Lion-hound cause that’s all I can describe him as. Not much to say bout him other then, WILL SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP WHEN THERES A FULL MOON!!

Yuffie: Well she’s definitely one of the reasons I took more notice of oriental traditions and I was glad as to why, like all Chinese/Japanese girls between 18 and about 24 she’s so gorgeous! (no offence to any Chinese/Japanese ladies over or under that age gap). And I know Yuffie was sixteen in FF7 but work with me here she got older in AC and Dirge of Cerberus) in the most recent appearances I was happy that she that she’d mellowed down a bit :)

Cid: Ah every Final Fantasy has to have at least 1 Cid :P and this one’s the best in my opinion. The lude, crude, cigarette smokin, airship ridin, spear weildin, ass kickin Cid Highwind! :D

Cait Sith: this has got to be one of my least favourite character ever, his human counterpart Reeve Tuesti is kinda cool, but jesus I cant stand that thingamagig! The accent sounds cool though…

Vincent: Out of all the Male characters in the FF series Vincent Valentine has truly gotta be my favourite. He’s cool, mysterious and has the coolest two gun weapons I’ve seen in ages: the Cerberus and the Death Penalty. Though God knows why in most fics he’s coupled with Yuffie, then again Yuffie with Cait Sith….Noooope… Yuffie with Red XIII….That’s wrong… I read one fic ages back called ‘Im no monster’ By a fellow autheress Alantie Mistaniu where he actually is coupled with Tifa and I thought that one was pretty good :) and quite original, that’s all im saying… and finally, Vincent’s undying hatred of Hojo: YOU KILL EM VINCE! SHOW THAT FREAK WHO’S THE MAN!

And you can bet your ass theres plenty more characters im gonna critic and compliment to come!!

UPDATES OF MY FANFICS

A Genesis And A Revelation: Legacy Of The Phoenix : Coming Soon! :) 27th April

Path Of The Vampire : Still having problems thinking of new things for this one. 23rd July

Resident Evil Outbreak Horror: First chapter at last!! hope i can get the fellow authors who added their character to the fanfic reply to the messages i sent them... 5th November

University El Ultimiso : The written chapters are being written into story format thanks to the help of Sabine Howlstone

Hunting Grounds : First chapter added today. 23rd July

Life Of Raziel: Coming Soon! 27th April