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Author has written 24 stories for Harry Potter, Wicked, Teen Titans, Homer, David Eddings, Book X-overs, Chronicles of Narnia, Star Trek: 2009, StarTrek: The Original Series, Shakespeare, Sky High, and Power Rangers. I have decided to devoted this year to working on my original fiction, in hope that I will be a published author by the summer. (Wish me luck.) So, with apologies to all my loyal fans, my fanfiction postings will be minimal in the foreseeable future. Thank you for all your support; I love you all! Some time ago, a speaker came to our school and told us that there are three questions you should always be able to answer: who am I, what do I believe, and what do I want. Naturally, our English teacher made us write it up the next day. I put it here so you could learn a little more about me. Here it is! I am an... I believe in... I want... OK, quotes! Me and My Friends/Family/Casual Acquaintances "Sarah was like a plant dying because it got too much water, and I was like a plant dying because it didn't get enough water." "Are you a moron?" "So energy does make sense, it's just taught badly."-me, after one of my favorite physics classes yet in which I finally began to understand energy! Yay! "I wonder if the people who go to see shows know that they're being graded by the preformers."-me. It's true; we sit backstage going "this is a pretty good audience" and "this audience sucks." "I lost my daughter again."-me, on the set of Hello Dolly! “Did you just stick your tongue out at me with your mouth full?” “It’s getting earlier!”-Weird, with too much energy. “I was trying to think up an appropriate response to ‘cheese.’ It’s not easy.”-Weird, on a message she sent me "...an angel." "But birds can fly." "We're gonna find whoever did this. I promise." "You're in Dolly's dream world. Reality doesn't matter." "Dang you video game physics! Real physics are nice to me!"-me. Unfortunatly, video game physics hate me. "You can't spell 'opinion' without 'onion.' Then you get 'pie' or something."-my brother's friend Ricky. Actualy, you get 'pi,' but... "No! Stupid floor."-my brother, while playing Brawl "If it weren't for finals, finals week would be really fun."-a friend of mine, while we were eating lunch between finals "Can I officialy declare us the queens of inane conversations?"-me, to Weird "It's a musical. It's not supposed to make sense."-the dance director for Hello Dolly!, attempting to explain why the train starts moving before the wheels are in place. "My window melted!"-me, to Weird, in the car. Don't ask. "Sorry." "Oh yeah. The day Raphi is the gold standard for humor in this class is the day I... wear a kilt to school."- my physics teacher, again "I heard you. I'm just ignoring you." -my physics teacher. I really should just give him his own section. "Wow, that is a gaint turtle!"- my physics teacher(henceforth MPT), while flipping through our textbook. "That is a sweet looking fish."-MPT on another picture in the textbook. ""Some of you may be thinking, like Raphi is right now, why isn't it sleeptime? The answer is science. You see, in the realm of science, there is no sleep, only insomnia. Until we firebomb Tokyo; then the sun goes down."- MPT. Don't ask. "I'm gonna see a lot of scientists... I'll be like, 'the limits of my model,' and everyone will go, 'awww.'"-MPT on models and their limitations "Never apologize for being brilliant."-MPT "Cease passing oxygen past your vocal cords. Unless you're breathing. Don't stop breathing." -MPT. It's nicer than "shut up." "I'm not gonna make a fancy cliff. I'm just gonna draw a dumb cliff."- MPT "How can I do anything bad to this kid?"-MPT, about a student that he was almost very mad at. "Aww, Raphi's y-wise." MPT. Say it out loud. "All my friends are crazy. That's why they're my friends." Me. It's true. "See, your shyness went away! So did your sanity, but I think that's an acceptable sacrifice."- me, on the results of being my friend. "My desk is too big on me."- me. You see, we were taking the PSAT, so MPH, who was proctoring, said to get a desk that fit... Never mind. "This is too confusing. Calc is so much easier."- a girl in my math class "I keep trying to tell her that we're getting married, not wedding-ed."- My gmara teacher, quoting a man discusing his fiance "Serina already tried to take my head off today."- me, in physics "I love it when retarded stuff happen in my favor!" - my brother "In your face, logic and reason!"- my little brother's friend, Ricky "Is it weird if I cheat against myself so that my left hand will win?" "Yes, we are proud of our pride. And then we're proud that we're proud of our pride."- Weird. Don't ask "I'm not self-centered at all." "Ooh, pretty tank!"- Weird "Yes, Yoni. Milk is Dairy"- me "Wow, that redundant statement was... redundant." - my physics teacher "Someday I'm going to have a kid, and I'm going to name him Espn." "Idiot! Stop running into cows!"- my brother. We were playing a video game. “Does this split personality make us look fat?”- my little brother’s friend, Yair “I have split personality. So do I!”- my brother’s other friend, Yacov “Did you know that goldfish have a three second attention span? It’s only slightly longer that mine!”- me “You can’t spell addicting without ADD!”- Yair “I do NOT have ADD-- Ooooh. Shiny.”- Yacov “‘Almost’ doesn’t count unless you’re playing horseshoes or hand grenades.”- my Freshman Bio teacher “Only at the Academy would the science teacher call the Associate Principle down from the office to play with his new toy when he’s supposed to be teaching Biology.”- also my Freshman Bio teacher. We have a strange school. Not bad, just… strange. “It’s not homework unless it’s due first period.”- the school Dean, believe it or not. Yes. We have an Associate Principal, (and an Assistant Principal, for that matter) but no Principal. Instead, we have a Dean. I told you we have a strange school. “Congratulations to (student’s name) on becoming a US citizen!”- an announcement over the loudspeaker during the middle of eighth period one day. I seriously think that I go to the greatest high school in the world. “I tried walking a mile in his shoes, but my feet hurt”- me "When I was in high school… wait, I’m still IN high school!”- our Associate Principle, for the yearbook "You mentally jinxed me!" “Can you look up where the name came from?” “I know I’m tired when you’re spelling better than I am.”- my brother to me when we were both working on homework late at night. It’s true. I’m spelling-impaired. Spell-check is the world's greatest invention. “No projectiles in the car!"-Ya'el "If you arrange your own marriage, doesn’t it kinda defeat the purpose of an arranged marriage?”-Ya'el “I ran over a bird!” “It’s not gonna do you much good if you go flying forward into the steering wheel and then the airbag inflates and slams you back into your seat. Seriously, can you say ‘whiplash’ ten times fast?” "I'm drunk on adrenalin!”-me, at Simchat Torah. Which is the greatest holiday ever! “Difference is, if Meytal had to kiss a boy she didn’t know, she would not be shouting ‘ewww.’” "Yes, Kitty Pryde is Jewish. One, she has wavy brown hair and brown eyes. Two, she's short. Three, she's from Deerfield, Illinois. Four, she's a genius. Five, she's got a seriously sharp tongue. Oh, and she wears a Jewish Star necklace."-me. And yes, these are all Jewish traits. Trust me; I go to a private Jewish school. Movies, Plays, Poems, Books, Famous People, ect. "There's no such thing as an oridinary human"- the 10th Doctor, Doctor Who "You gotta hand it to the Jews. Yom Kippur was a brilliant idea." - a non-Jew on ESPN.com (Mathew Barry). Yeah, Jews rock. "A cluttered desk is a sign of genius."- anon. My personal motto. “What am I supposed to say? It's not like there's a Halmark card: 'I’m sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony'!”- Dodgeball “A bird may love a fish, but where would they build a home together?”- Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof; one of my all time favorite lines “Beauty is when a woman looks the same after washing her face.”- Milton Berle “Success is getting up one more time than you fall.”- anon. “Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken "Don't you ever let anyone else say anything?!" “The Nazis first came for the Communists. But I wasn’t a Communist, so I didn’t speak up. "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."- Roald Dahl "Let the green girl go!"-Fiyero, Wicked "Okay... who wants to go through the dark, creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?"-Riley, National Treasure "You're mad!" "Stop me if I'm wrong, but wasn't your mole... on the other side?" "You've got to be a man to wear tights."- Little John, Robin Hood, Men in Tights "I lost. I lost?! Wait a minute; I'm not supposed to lose. Let me see the script."-Robin, Robin Hood, Men in Tights "42.7 of statistics are made up on the spot."-anon. "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."- Albert Einstein "I pray thee, correct me if my perception is awry. Is the import of what hath been revealed here that Arendia hath been divided for half a millennium by an ancient formality?" " 'The red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night,' Legolas whispers. Starr resists the urge to swoon"- Crazyroninchic's Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around, an absolutely priceless Mary-Sue parody in which the characters get a chance to comment on a Sue fic. Before I go: Randomly has been bugging me to post some of her stories that I felt were just too... random. And weird. And a lot of other things. I finally got sick of it and gave her her own penname. So, if you want to see the work that comes from my more demented side, check out the author Randomly's Cat Midnight. ("Randomly" was taken.) Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1694230/ Also, if you notice any typos (either in my profile or in one of my stories) I would appreciate it if you would let me know. Thanks! | |||||||
1. Four Reasons Warren Hated His Father reviewsand the One Reason He Never CouldSky High - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-30-11 - Warren P. - Complete2. The Quest of Bulk and Skull reviewsBulk and Skull are determined to discover the secret identities of the Power Rangers. this could get interesting.Power Rangers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,479 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-15-10 - Bulk & Skull3. How to Become a Power Ranger in Three Easy Step reviewsSo you want to be a Power Ranger? Well, here's a set of step-by-step instructions. I hope they're helpful.Power Rangers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,070 - Reviews: 65 - Published: 10-8-104. A Day in the Life of Tommy Oliver reviewsTommy forgets something, is attacked by a gazillion putties, frees himself when his friends fail to rescue him, and the saves them from a monster that they would totally have been able to defeate before he got his powers. Just a typical day, really.Power Rangers - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,913 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-10-10 - Tommy O. - Complete5. Failure reviewsThe first time Pavel Chekov failed at something that mattered, a woman died.Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 649 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-23-10 - P. Chekov - Complete6. Little White Lie reviewsYet another charater study. Jim Kirk never believed in little white lies.Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-16-10 - J. Kirk - Complete7. That's So Weird reviewsNyota Uhura's evolving opinion of James T. Kirk.Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 7-9-10 - N. Uhura & J. Kirk - Complete8. The Day After reviewsThe day after the homecoming fiasco was a strange day for Warren.Sky High - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-2-10 - Warren P. - Complete9. Five Times Jim Stood Up For His Crew » reviewsand the one time they returned the favor.Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,667 - Reviews: 96 - Updated: 6-25-10 - Published: 5-24-10 - J. Kirk - Complete10. Harry Potter and the Loss of Innocence » reviewsUsed to be Harry Potter and the Secrets Revealed. Basically, this is my version of the seventh book. A more complete summary is inside. Rated mainly for violence. Spoilers for books 1 through 6 and AU as of book 7. Duh.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 42,235 - Reviews: 84 - Updated: 6-17-10 - Published: 9-6-0611. Gertrude reviewsA character study of Hamlet's mother.Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 455 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-7-10 - Complete12. Heroism reviewsA character study. Jim Kirk was not a hero.Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 659 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-12-10 - J. Kirk - Complete13. Leonard McCoy and the Magic Hypospray reviewsBecause really, what other explanation is there? Very brief mention of Kirk/Spock.StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 874 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-6-10 - L. McCoy - Complete14. Five Times Someone Left Jim reviewsAnd the one time he knew they never wouldStar Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,116 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 1-31-10 - J. Kirk - Complete15. And the Walls Came Tumbling Down » reviewsSlade's back, and he has his eye on one Titan in particular. But someone else is after Jericho, and there's something he's not saying... A Titans East fic.Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,171 - Reviews: 125 - Updated: 11-14-09 - Published: 2-15-08 - Jericho & Slade16. Invasion of the Sister Sues reviewsThe Titans meet five odd girls who claim to be their sisters. This is NOT going to be good for Robin's headache...Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,771 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 1-30-09 - Robin & Beast Boy - Complete17. Silent Musings » reviewsWhat you don't hear during the play Wicked. A series of drabbles on the thoughts that are not voiced. All genres, and I'm warning you, some of these get pretty angsty.Wicked - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 6,904 - Reviews: 86 - Updated: 1-15-09 - Published: 4-29-07 - Complete18. The Right Choice reviewsA short responce to all those "Susan stays in Narnia and lives happily ever after married to Caspian" fics. Aslan gave Susan two choices. Did she pick the right one?Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 7-24-08 - Susan Pevensie & Caspian X - Complete19. After Death reviewsIn order to defeat Voldemort, Harry sacrificed his own life. But his death was not permanent; he came back to life... Didn't he? AU oneshot, not part of Innocence Lostverse.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 773 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-13-08 - Harry P. & Ginny W. - Complete20. A Strange Dream reviewsLOTR/The Belgariad. Many worlds exist, but the world of dreams unites them all...Book X-overs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-25-08 - Complete21. Repetitions reviewsCe'Nedra has an interesting theory, and Belgarath gets a swelled head.David Eddings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 530 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3-25-08 - Complete22. Odysseus Reached Home Alone reviewsA poem about the wife of an anonymous soldier in Odysseus' army.Homer - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 209 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-22-08 - Complete23. Second Chances reviewsMarauder's era one shot. The prank that went to far, or how James Potter the fifteen year old bully became James Potter the hero that everyone compares Harry to. Set in Inocence Lostverse, so it contradicts some information given in DH.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,536 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-10-07 - James P. - Complete24. A Bit of A Let Down reviewsOneshot. The Teen Titans discover who Slade really is. Beast Boy is disapointed. A bit silly follows comiccanon.Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 757 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 8-31-07 - Slade - Complete