Okay well my name is Christina... No, I will not tell you my last name, don't ask.

I'm 15 and love to write for fanfiction, obviously.

My favorite quote of all time: The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse always gets the cheese. :)

I only write for Harry Potter because I'm OBSESSED with it and I'm in love with Danielle Radcliff... yes, he is my future husband so the rest of you love-sick puppies can suck it 'cuz hes MINE!!

Yes, I am planning world domination one day, with the ingenious use of pink bunnies, I will eventually take over Canada and re-name it Canadia 'cuz it sounds so much better, then I will take over the rest of the world. The first act I will make is making Daniel Radcliff my husband then work from there on making the world as much like Harry Potter as I can get... I will include castles that are boarding schools, Triwizard tournaments, and I will make it law that everyone must carry around a wand and shout spells, regardless of if they work or not. Then I will choose a group a people an re-name them to fit the Harry Potter cast... yes, they must resemble their new name. :)

Things I can NOT stand on fanfiction:

Harry does not contain superpowers.. I'm sorry, he doesn't, get over it

Luna is not some magical goddess from another realm coming to save the wizarding world... it doesn't work like that... the plot dead-ends at the end of the world, so don't write it

Ron should never, ever, ever be the main character in any story.. hes not interesting in the least without Harry.. I'm sorry for those girls who are insane and find Ron attractive in the least because there is something wrong with them.

There is no way in hell that Bella/Edward/Alice/Jasper/any Twilight character will ever come to Hogwarts.. one person is not special enough to be a magical vampire.. the universe doesn't work that way and twilight fans can get over it regardless of how much crying and ice cream it takes

Do not include modern day politics in fanficition... it is set in a different part of the world, in a FANTASY... that means no REALITY is included

Voldemort was never, is not, and never will be Harry Potter's father/godfather/uncle/any relative

Hermione does not cross over to the dark side.

Voldemort does not bake cookies with magical powers that get Hermione to come screw him.. Whoever thinks that is kinky, go see a therapist

THERE IS NO MENTION OF AN ELEMENTAL IN ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS, THEREFORE THEY DO NOT EXIST IN THE MAGICAL WORLD THAT IS HARRY POTTER. just thought I'd let you know.

Blaise is not a girl.. he is a guy. There are no sex changes in Harry Potter, Sorry guys.

Hermione and Lucius Malfoy will never be together. No, Lucius is not good. No, Lucius doesn't have a nice, inner person. Lucius is a bad guy. deal with it.

Lucius is spelt LUCIUS not Lucious, not Lucias, not anything other than LUCIUS.

House elves will not take over Hogwarts.

Hermione will never move to Forks, Washington... Neither will Harry, Ron, or any Harry Potter character.

Harry Potter is NOT gay... sure, Daniel Radcliff did admit he was gay on national TV but in the books, he is straight.

No, Draco Malfoy is not a pixie who comes to woo Harry Potter... Again, go see a therapist.

Hermione and Ginny will never dress up as kinky sex slaves on Halloween to come and screw Harry... I really hate any sex fictions.. but the summaries are really funny to read.

No muggle will ever go to Hogwarts just to "see whats going on".

Hermione will never go to the muggle world and hear about the Harry Potter books then proceed to bring them back to Hogwarts for everyone to read and critize.

Hermione will never get together with Severus Snape... The universe will not allow such evil to touch Hermione. Nor will any fellow Gryffindor ever 'dare' Hermione to go sleep with Snape.

Please check your grammar, and spelling, and facts because most like, if you do not, you will be WRONG and that makes no one want to read your story.

Snape is not Hermione's father.

Hermione will not take part in any musicals on Broadway to "get away from the wizarding world and the terror after the war." Sure, it may be a good plot bunny but if you wanna write it, make it a oneshot because anything longer should really be written for a TV show or something like that.

Harry is the only child who lived. He does not have a twin sister who Voldemort didn't see and there is not another child Voldemort tried to kill before Harry. The books are based on Harry because he is the ONLY special wizard in this world. I'm sorry if that crushes your hopes and dreams of being the "girl who lived" but you can dream of something else now.

Voldemort's nickname is "the-man-who-let-the-boy-live" there is not Moldy Voldy action going on.

Draco refers to Harry as "The-boy-who-just-wont-die" along with the rest of his nicknames. Yea, i choose it cuz its funny.

No, Ginny is not some re-incarnated ruler of werewolves... she is a brainless, annoying, little brat who chooses to completely ruin the series.

Hermione does not get blue hair because she is a fairy princess coming to save the wizarding world... she is Harry Potters sidekick... yes i get that you have a creative license but i draw the line at "fairy princess".

Draco Malfoy does not play the guitar.

Pansy loves Draco Malfoy... she will not randomly change her love for him by seeing Hermione and Ron making out then proceed to screw Ron senseless...

No, it is not right for Voldemort to want to kill muggles... yes, i actually saw a fanfiction that said something along the lines of "MAYBE VOLDEMORT WAS RIGHT WHEN HE SET OUT TO KILL ALL MUGGLES, COMPLETELY ORIGINAL! I HAVENT SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS!"... it is like Hilter... so if you support this plot line, I feel very bad for your parents.

Dumbledore is meant to be insane... changing Dumbledore would throw Hogwarts into the Butterfly Effect.. if written correctly it could be very interesting to see what that would change... but changing one character then leaving the rest exactly as they were is weird and stupid.

AUTHOR NOTES ARE MEANT TO BE IN BOLD AT THE END OF EVERY CHAPTER SO PEOPLE CAN TELL WHICH IS THE AUTHOR AND WHICH IS THE STORY... that is apparently a little known fact among new writers

if you say you dont think your story is good then that diminishes my want to read said story... just a helpful hint for those people who try to act all modest even though in their heads they are thinking "DAMMNN, MY STORY IS GOOODDD!"

Ships I like:

Hermione/Draco

Hermione/Harry (if written correctly)

Blaise/Luna

Hermione/Fred is okay I guess

Ships I HATE:

Draco/Ginny

Harry/Ginny

Ron/Hermione

any slash pairings

If you hate my stories, I don't really care.. if you don't like it then don't read it.

thanksss, Monkicrazzi