A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good freind never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best freind Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good freind Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best freind Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

A good freind Asks you to write down your number. A best freind Has you on speed dial.

A good freind Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best freind Loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A good freind Only know a few things about you. A best freind Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good freind Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best freind Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

A good freind Would knock on your front door. A best freind will Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good freind hides me from the cops. A best freind is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good freind lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best freind is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good freind is only through school/college. A best freind is for life.

If you think Angel has the best legs this side of the Northern Hemisphere and only Collins deserves her, copy this into your profile.

If it pisses you off to no end when people write about Collins moving on after Angel's death despite the clear rationality of the whole thing, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.(Star Trek,NCIS,and House ^^;)

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!)) AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books),The Dawn Is Breaking (Edward Cullen -squee-, Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre)), xXCourtney HaleXx (Erik- Phantom of the Opera, Emmett Cullen- Twilight, Jasper Hale- Twilight, Sirius Black(When he was younger you pervs! Not Gary Oldman)) Dark Lady of the Sonnets (Erik-Phantom of the Opera, Artemis Fowl,), Erikroolsall (Erik-The Phantom but I like other character, just don’t have a crush on them), Team Erik and Fang(Seth Clearwater, Fang back when I first read Max Ride, Fred Weasley, and most recent would be Erik the Phantom) Yaoiyurifan (Hmm,theres a lot. Temari,Deidara,Konan,Sasori,Tenten,Haruhi,Ziva,Abby,Tim,Luna,Ginny,Hermonie,Harry,Fred and George,Draco,and way to many other people to list.)

If you're writing a novel or book that ISN'T fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know people who should not only get run over by a bus, but be hung by their own intestines, copy and paste(To many to list.)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

95 of all teenage girls would jump off a cliff if Stephanie meyers made Edward Cullen die in the Twilight saga. Copy and paste if you'd be one of the ones laughing themselves to death!

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you have ever told a person your name and you never got their's, copy and past this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (NaruSasu/SasuNaru...X.x)

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile (Every single one of them... plus boyfriend/girlfriend if you have one!)

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that Mickey mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar then copy this onto your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time just because she was 'different'.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

We are the couple who can never hold hands in public because of the disgusted glares that follow us.

I am the woman who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: LOVE!

~STOP ALL THE HATRED!~ ~LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR LIVES NOT HOW THEY LIVE THEM.~ ~CHERISH THE SOULS THAT ARE DIFFERENT AND MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED.~ ~THEY NEED IT MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW!~ ~DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE BASED ON WHAT OTHERS HAVE TOLD YOU.~ ~LOVE AND BE LOVED!~ REPOST IF YOU AGREE!~ WE NEED YOUR HELP TO END THE HURT!~

C.U.N.T. - Can't Understand Normal Thinking

--Here's something to think about--

For all those who believe God hates homosexuals... if God truly did hate all the homosexuals, why has he yet to punish them and wipe them from the face of the Earth? Why did he come to let them be to begin with?

Give up already. The religion excuse no longer makes any sense to those who have sat and thought about it.

--I'm a little boy with glasses

The one they call the geek.--

--A little girl who never smiles

'Cause I've got braces on my teeth.--

--And I know how it feels

To cry myself to sleep.--

--I'm that kid on every playground

Who's always chosen last.--

--A single teenage mother

Tryin' to overcome my past.--

--You don't have to be my friend

Is it too much to ask?--

--Don't laugh at me, don't call me names

Don't get your pleasure from my pain

In God's eyes, we're all the same

Someday we'll all have perfect wings

Don't laugh at me.--

--I'm the cripple on the corner

You pass me on the street.--

--I wouldn't be out here beggin'

If I had enough to eat.--

--And don't think that I don't notice

That our eyes never meet.--

--I lost my wife and little boy

Someone crossed that yellow line.--

--The day we laid 'em in the ground

Is the day I lost my mind.--

--Right now I'm down to holdin'

This little cardboard sign,--

--Don't laugh at me, don't call me names

Don't get your pleasure from my pain

In God's eyes, we're all the same

Someday we'll all have perfect wings

Don't laugh at me.--

--I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall

I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey aren't we all?--

--Don't laugh at me, don't call me names

Don't get your pleasure from my pain

In God's eyes, we're all the same

Someday we'll all have perfect wings..--

--Don't laugh at me.--

The poor have it

The rich need it

The deaf can hear it

The blind can see it

It is greater than God

It is worse than the Devil.

What is It?

Nothing

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. ..

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I looked stressed!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

Mom Quotes:

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.

"There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

If you've fallen off a cliff, you might as well teach yourself how to fly on the way down.

Never forget me, forget me never, but if you forget me, forget me forever.

Blow shit up, have a blast, destroy at random, and do it fast.

A single tear falls, no matter how small, because God knows, even Angels fall.

Don't look at the glass half empty; don't look at the glass half full. Just find the bastard who drank half your vodka and beat the shit outta him.

Get up, get out, get drunk. Repeat as needed.

The world isn't fair.

That’s true, but think how much worse it would be if it was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. I for one take great comfort in the complete impersonal hostility of the universe. Thank God the world isn't fair.

Isn't sex, booze and punk better than sex, drugs and rock and roll?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course it's usually just an oncoming express train.

Here's to the Fire, and to the downfall of the Wind.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

-Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity.

-I'm nobody...Nobody is perfect... so I'm BETTER THAN YOUUUUUUUUUUU

-If everything seems to being going well...you have OBVIOUSLY overlooked something...

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

"Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass"

"PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch"

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"

"I will not chase the boys, I will not chase the boys, I will not chase the boys... unless they provoke me!"

"First, God made men... but then he had a better idea"

"MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... goddamn it... all of our problems start with MEN!"

"They say practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect so why practice?"

" 'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit' "

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone in the mouth.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure does make misery a whole lot more pleasant.

I have a grip on reality--just not this particular one.

I met some crazy people. They made me their leader!

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

Homework. n. (Def.) a crude form of mind control still practiced in some primitive societies

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

Tell your voices to SHUT UP...I can't hear mine...

I didn't fall from heaven, I rose from hell.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run- he hates that.

" I don't take orders, and I don't deliver death wishes. If you wish to die, kill yourself."-Hiei

"I’m here cuz Heaven wouldn’t take me, and hell was afraid I’d take over..."

"A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ... GOD WAS THAT FUN OR WHAT?"

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.

Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls!

Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!

You aren't drunk until you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth

Don't drink and drive...If you hit a bump, then you might spill your drink.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty...just drink it and get on with your life.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find a person whose life gave them vodka and throw a party

-Whenever you feel pissed off at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them...AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

One wise old man once told me that waters are like tears,

And tears, despite their sadness, are nothing you should fear.

The wise old man said to me, they wash away your pain,

And fears, despite your struggling, are going down the drain.

So you as well stop fighting and hold your head up high,

Cause rain is just like teardrops, falling from the sky.

A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION!!

My name is Sarah.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

If you think child abuse is wrong and needs to stop, copy and paste this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.

3. And discover that #1 is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will show this to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

I apologize about this.

But I'm an idiot and I needed company...

You now have 2 options... ignore this or post this on your file to put a smile on someone else's face today!