92 percent of American teens would die if Edward Cullen/Jacob Black or the Jonas Brothers told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing like a loon.

Bonjour, mes copains! Comment allez-vous?

J'ai adoré la France!

Welcome to the profile of 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed.

The Basics:

-I live on the wonderful continent of North America.

-My pathetic hobbies include reading, writing, dreaming, debating, doodling and procrastinating. I also have a scary obsession with grammar, and will correct you if need be.

-I have a MAJOR weakness for chocolate.

-I am a total sucker for a good romance novel.

-I'm Irish and proud.

-...incidentally, my favorite color happens to be green.

-My birthday's December the 12th. I'm a true Sagittarius (fire sign), from the short fuse to the love of books.

-I am never, ever happy with my hair, as it is impossible.

-Also, my friends are the kind of people who will spend hours trying to drown a fish.

~I ship~

Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Luna, Lily/James (Obvious), Remus/Tonks, Seamus/Daphne Greengrass, Ernie/Hannah, Fred/Angelina, George/Angelina, George/Alicia, Oliver/Katie, Percy/Penelope, Percy/Audrey, Lucius/Narcissa, Bill/Fleur, Frank/Alice, Andromeda/Ted, Teddy/Victoire, Scorpius/Rose.

If bolded - My absolute favorite pairing at the moment.

~Pairings I can live with~

Draco/Hermione (The odds are not likely but I cannot deny that I like this pairing, and will make some exceptions if its a good story)

Seamus/Lavender (In my opinion, Lavender is too clingy, but I tolerate this pairing...)

Fred/Katie (But ONLY if it's really well-written.)

Charlie/Katie (Same as above.)

George/Katie (Ditto...)

Ron/Luna (Not a very good match, if you ask me, but it'll do...)

Scorpius/Lily

~Pairings that I would rather jump off a cliff before shipping~

Harry/Hermione (I just cannot stand this pairing! Okay, they're just friends. If you don't believe me, read this: (http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/features/essays/issue2/WhyHarryPickedGinny), or go find the exact spot where J.K. herself claimed the final pairings would be: (Here!)). (In the words of Emerson: "Delusional!")

Draco/Ginny (No!)

Harry/Luna (No!)

Neville/Ginny (Um...no! Try again!)

Sirius/Lily or Remus/Lily (Okay, please do try to collect your thoughts, ladies and gentlemen! She marries James!)

(In case you haven't noticed, I don't like Cho Chang. Let me put extreme emphasis on that! Nobody enjoys reading about a weeping girl.)

~My Miscellaneous Stories~

See my other profile here, shared with three of my very best friends for some of the miscellaneous stories I have either written or co-written with these gals.

~Future Stories/Projects:~

The Christmas Present: He had done the worst thing he could do to his wife on Christmas Eve...forgotten her present! A Christmas one-shot. L/T.

The Opposing Team: He'd ended it because he thought he'd never see her again. Merlin, was he wrong. She's back, and over him. ...Or is she? O/K.

Gin: She was not an alcoholic beverage! She refused to be called as one. That was, until he called her by it. H/G.

Remembrance: She never could remember why she came to these things. E/H.

Late: He couldn't recall a single time in his life when she had been on time. So, why should this time be any different? P/P.

The Perfect Dress: It all came to her, in a flood of vivid images; every piece - bit by bit - came through to by glancing at one piece of fabric. L/J.

First Priority: Harry had finally gotten his priorities straight.

Edit: For the record, these stories may never see daylight (or, er, internet-light?). They're just ideas, and shall remain so, until something or someone totally inspires me to continue them.

In case you need further proof that the human race is
doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...?)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness.
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Riiight...)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a newsflash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On disappearing-ink pen for marking fabric.
"The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing any legal documents."
(Awww but that's how I sign contracts...works every time ;D)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

Number your 12 favourite Harry Potter characters, in no particular
order, and answer the questions below the cut! No peeking.

1. Hermione Granger

2. Seamus Finnigan

3. Remus Lupin

4. Lily Evans

5. James Potter

6. Rose Weasley

7. Scorpius Malfoy

8. Fred Weasley

9. George Weasley

10. Ginny Weasley

11. Ron Weasley

12. Professor McGonagall

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Well, considering that Ron and Rose are father and daughter...(shudders).

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? I'm a girl. Lily is a girl. Enough said.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? I'd be deathly concerned.

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Yup. Especially after Book 7.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? Seamus and Rose...where do the jokes start?

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? James/George or James/Ginny. C'mon, people! I put Lily & James as four and five for a reason!

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation? Bad mental images...BAD MENTAL IMAGES!!

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. Remus/Ginny...accidentally read one of those once...NEVER again!

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Sadly.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Scorpius/McGonagall. They're like, um, FIVE generations apart, people. Think about it.

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One? (Bangs head against keyboard) We're going to pretend I didn't read that one...

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three slash? I do believe so.

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Tonks-Rocks is good at writing him, but Ginny's Biggest Fan isn't so good at drawing at him.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Seamus/Lily/James?! Erm, take Seamus out of that equation, please. ...PLEASE!

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? "HAAAAARRRRRY!" Says it all.

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? About Fred? "The Mysterious Ticking Noise."

No. Seriously.

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Hermione/Rose/Professor McGonagall. Three words: DO NOT READ!

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Ginny to use on Seamus. How should I know?! Ginny shouldn't be picking Seamus up! HARRY/GINNY ALL THE WAY!

19.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Yesterday.

20.) What is Six's biggest secret? Psh. Scorpius Malfoy.

21.) Three and Seven got together. Your reaction? AAAH! It burns!

22.) “One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, goes out on a date with Eleven and then, with Twelve. After this, One follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." Fill in the blanks. What title would you give this fic?

“Hermione and George are in a happy relationship until George suddenly runs off with Lily. Hermione, broken-hearted, goes out on a date with Ron and then, with Professor McGonagall. After this, Hermione follows the wise advice of James and finds true love with Remus."

“The Day Everything Went Wrong.”

23.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? No more Harry Potter.

Big Harry Potter Survey Thingy

General

Are you obsessed with Harry Potter?
Who, me?

Could You Prove That Statement In Court?
More than likely.

Do You Know Any Of The Characters Middle Name’s?
Mhm.

What’s Hermione’s?
Jean!

What’s Ron’s?
Bilius!

What’s Harry’s?
James!

What’s Ginny’s?
Molly!

Have You Seen All The Movies?
Yep.

Read All The Books?
Um…duh?

What Do You Think Of JKR?
LOVE her!!

Favorites

Weasley?
Hmm…it’s a tie. Fred and George.

Character overall?
Hermione, I think.

Female Character?
See above.

Male Charcter?
Remus!

Group Of Characters?
The Next Generation!

Adult?
I love Remmy, but I also prefer Professor McGonagall.

Professor?
Didn’t we just cover this?

Ship?
Oooh…Lily/James. Oh, and I like Rose/Scorpius (right now anyway).

Spell?
Obliviate!

Sweet?
Fizzing Whizbees!

Place?
Hogwarts…sweet home away from home.

Weasley Twin?
-gasps- You want me…to choose?

Product?
Wand, of course!

Shop?
Ollivander’s.

Least Favorites

Weasley?
Percy, hands down.

Character, Overall?
Ergh…either Umbridge/Harry. Harry can be so dull.

Female?
Umbridge.

Male?
Harry. Déjà vous!

Adult?
Let’s go with Voldy, just to shake things up.

Student?
Two words: Cho. Chang.

Spell?
Crucio

Book?
Chamber of Secrets

Ship?
H/Hr. It’s just so…AAAH!

Sweet?
Blood Lollipops!

Death Eater?
Bellatrix – what she did just can’t be undone.

Shop?
Zonko’s.

Place?
Dursley’s.

Professor?
Did I mention Umbridge, or was that just in my head?

Couples? What Do You Think?

Ron/Hermione?
Lo-o-o-ve it!

Harry/Hermione?
Blech – NO!

Harry/Ginny?
Yay!

Harry/Luna?
No, no, and NO!

Harry/Pansy?
I’m good, thanks. –shivers-

Ron/Lavender?
How ‘bout…no?

Ron/Luna?
I tolerate it, but I’m not a a fan.

Ron/Pansy?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Funny.

Ron/Fleur?
“And then, when Bill was finished cursing Ron…”

Hermione/Krum?
“…Ron let out his frustration by hexing Krum into oblivion.”

Hermione/Draco?
I shouldn’t fancy it, but I do.

Hermione/FredORGeorge?
NO!

James/Lily?
AWESOME!

Lily/Snape?
-gags-

Lily/Sirius?
“James then stole the wand from Ron and hit Sirius with a leg-locking curse…”

Lily/Lupin?
“…and on a roll, caused Remus to belch slugs.”

Tonks/Lupin?
-sighs in relief- Normality! Love it!

Draco/Pansy?
I like Astoria/Asteria much better.

Fred/Angelina?
Before George stepped in? This was a fantastic pairing.

Bill/Fleur?
I like it.

Harry/Cho?
Did NO ONE read my “least favorite student”?

This Or That?

Harry or Ron?
Ron

Hermione or Ginny?
Hermione

Neville or Seamus?
SEAMUS! (I’m Irish – do the math)

Snape or Slughorn?
Slughorn

Fred Or George?
No choosing – no, no, no!

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?
Harry/Ginny, hands down.

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?
Ron/Hermione

Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?
Neither – wrong number!

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?
Ron/Hermione, duh!

Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?
-laughs uproariously-

Ron/Lavender or Ron/Hermione?
I feel like I’m repeating myself.

ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey?
ButterBeer!

Zonko’s or Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes?
WWW, for sure!

Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?
The Three Broomsticks – cleaner glasses and less goats!

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?
James/Lily – is there even a doubt?

Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?
Hogwarts!

Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?
“Digenelley.” (Lord knows how he wound up in “Knockturn”)

Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?
-shudders- Neither.

Bertie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?
Fizzing Whizbees!

Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?
“The Quibbler”, please!

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?
Barty (Sr.)

Gryffindor or Ravenclaw?
Ravenclaw!

Random

Have you Been to A Release Party?
Better question: Have you NOT been to A Release Party?

Ever cried while reading one of the books?

You bet.

A Movie?
Can’t. Never enough time to get choked up.

Books or Movies?
Books. Um, hello?

Had A Dream About Harry Potter?
Probably.

Been To A Fansite?
More like: “Live on a Fansite? Or two? Or five?”

Been to JKR’s Site?
Of course!

Have You Ever Roleplayed?
-blushes- Possibly.

If So/Do..Who were you/ are you?

Like I’d tell you!

Did you use to have an absurd theory?
Yeah, well, not telling anyone NOW.

What was it?
Read above.

Did you/Do you hide your obsession?
Are you kidding? I am the QUEEN of hiding it.

Did it/ Does it work?
Sometimes. Defending HP in an argument is often too hard to resist!

Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all?
Sadly, I’ve outgrown many of the costumes that are sold.

Ever noticed that You can’t “Spell Hermione without Ron”?
Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?

Did you just try to prove that wrong?
No…why would I?

Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They’d Have EXACT Same Intials?
And notice that Ron and Ginny and George and Fred are siblings?!

Did you just try to prove that wrong?
No – because J.K. already did that for me. :)

Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are a lot alike?
Yep. Messy-haired boy meets red-head. They fall in love. Yay!

Do you find it weird that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So Alike?
No – unplanned traditions rock!

Do you know what fanfiction is?
What is this –struggles to pronounce- “faaanfictshun” you speak of?

Ever Been To A Fanfiction site?
Dude…seriously?

Do you read fanfiction?
-does not deign questionnaire with response-

If so, do you like it?
-yawns and checks watch-

Are you a member of a fanfiction site?
It’s a distinct possibility.

What site?
-stares at computer screen- Hmm…this question’s too tough for me. Next!

Do you write fanfiction?
No. I just take J.K. Rowling’s characters and put them in stories of my own that I post on the internet.

Do you like to write fanfiction?
What is this “faaanfictshun” thing?!

Ever had Harry Potter Candy?
Bertie Botts!

Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff?
Understatement of the century.

Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?
Editions 1 and 2.

Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt?
I have several, actually.

What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too?
I’m guessing here. Sort of Hermione-ish?

Do You Agree With This?
-shrugs- Sure.

What Are They?
Um…a reference?

Do you object to being Called By them?
I have no idea what this question is asking.

Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession?
Define “supportive.”

Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter?
You have no idea.

What’s One? (You don’t have to explain)
“Looks like we’re gonna need another Timmy!”

Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?
Just, um, everything.

Do you love being obsessed with Harry Potter?
Trick question, right?

Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?
-sits up proudly- I’m still waiting for my letter.

Have you re-read the books?
Eleven times and counting on Sorcerer’s Stone.

Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party?
Sadly, yes.

Have You Had An RP Party?
No.

Do You Want To?
I wouldn’t say no.

Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical?
-blinks innocently- Me?

Have You Ever Wrote One?
No, I have not!

Do You Want To?
-minimizes document that is holding three-quarters of it- Psh! No!

Have you ever entered A Contest TO Win Something Harry Potter?
Multiple times, actually.

If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it
Probably not.

Are You Going To Write One?
-still thinking about it- Psh...no...

IS The Musical Thing Annoying You?
You mean the question? Yeah.

Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter?
Not even close, m’dear.

~Quote of the Month~

Malfoy: "Where are we supposed to go?"

Harry: "Uh, I don't know, Pigfarts?"

Malfoy: "Haha - now you're just being cute. I can't go to Pigfarts. It's on Mars. You need a rocket ship. Do you have a rocket ship, Potter?"

- A Very Potter Musical

Act 1, Part 4

Enjoy!

~100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed