Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can. ~Elsa Maxwell

10/08/09

It's been a very long time since I updated. I apologize for that. Still working on What I Did For Love, I seem to be prone to writing epics, aren't I? But the story is almost finished, and I promise a real Happily Ever After ending. Of course, you know that I always make the characters work for it!

I guess by now everyone realizes that I'm a review slut. Sadly, while the number of people who read my stories has stayed the same, the number of reviewers has dropped off dramatically. Please remember, reviews are the only real rewards that fan fiction writers get. Published writers get to look at their sales numbers and they get checks from their publishers. Reviews are our payoff. So, if you read, please review... and not just my stories, but every story that you enjoy. And I happen to know, for certain, that Ranger and Steph read the reviews to each other ... it's foreplay for them ...lol!

'Love' is based on a 'lecture' I once received from a Cupcake, who told me that Ranger needed to watch his step with Stephanie because Morelli could have him arrested for Eddie Abruzzi's murder any time he wanted to. I'm sure she doesn't remember the incident since attacking was her normal modus operandi, but it was my introduction to the differences between Babes and Cupcakes and I'll never forget it. So love or hate this story, you have a Cupcake to thank for it.

Stayce

According to Evanovich.com, October 12 is Stephanie's birthday. Happy Birthday, Steph.

Here's my Joe Morelli:

http://www.iballer.com/malecelebs/cibrian/index.htm

By the way, here's what Dr. Nikolas Ramos (Niko) looks like:

http://www.iballer.com/malecelebs/boreanaz/images/b7_jpg.jpg

And here's a candidate for Corporate Ranger:

http://www.ralphlauren.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2054553&cp=1760786

Ranger has been a big dope!

And Stephanie's been left to mope!

'Cause he never thought

She'd be so distraught!

Can Ranger fix this? We hope!

In 'The Devil and Miss Plum'

There's Halloween smut and then some.

With Steph as its bait

This 'Devil' can't wait

For the chance to make her 'doodah' hum!

Grandma is at it again.

She's molesting those cute Merry Men.

Poor Hal is out cold,

And, if truth be told,

Frank wants Edna out, too! Amen!

Ranger's a stallion, of course.

In Plum World, a sexual force.

It isn't a dream,

He'll make Steph scream,

In pleasure, until she is hoarse!

FanFic is screwed up again!

They'll fix it, but who can tell when!

But my feelings are mixed

About them keeping it fixed,

I could scream, but I'll just count to TEN!

Sexless for thirty whole days!

Therein the whole problem lays.

To give satisfaction,

Without any action!

These two will just have to find ways!

Ranger and Steph have agreed

To see if their plan can succeed.

They're through with the dance,

They'll give love a chance.

Then they'll answer that 'mutual need'!

Ranger has more than one side.

It's Carlos he chooses to hide!

It's who he must uncover,

For Steph to discover.

Boy! They're in for one hell of a ride!

Steph and Ranger are the perfect fit!

If only that man would commit!

With him in her dreams,

He'll replace Boston Creams

As the base of her food pyramid!

We know Steph and Ranger are fated

To someday be happily mated.

But Tank interrupted

Their plans were corrupted,

So Ranger and Steph are frustrated!

Stephanie had better take care

Cause there's trouble and risk in the air.

But she'll count on Ranger

To keep her out of danger,

And someday, our two, will be a pair!

Miss Stephanie's playing a game,

Merry Men are doing the same.

But Steph doesn't know,

How far they will go,

To drive poor Ranger insane!

Old Karvic's a bad guy, you see.

He'll try to hurt Steph. So she

Must work hard to keep

Ahead of the creep

And get rid of that big SOB!

Oh, Ranger has been a bad boy.

He used our Steph like a toy.

But Ranger must learn

As Steph makes him burn,

That revenge ain't just sweet,

It's a joy!

The RangeMen like Hal, Cal, and Ram

Are a handsome group, every man.

But Ranger knows

He must stay on his toes

So that Steph won't sample this clan!

Morelli the cop is just dumb.

Though he is attractive to some.

There are Cupcakes galore,

Who think Steph is a whore,

'Cause Ranger makes her doodah hum!

Stephanie Plum is our kind of girl,

Who gave Bounty Hunting a whirl.

While Morelli complains,

Our man Ranger remains

The one who can make her toes curl!

The RangeMen are dressed all in black.

They are truly a masculine pack.

But Stephanie sneaks

In her feminine peaks,

That's why Ranger wants her in the sack!

I am a true blue, dyed in the wool, card carrying Jersey Girl. I was born and raised in the Garden State, and lived in Point Pleasant (yeah, that Point Pleasant) before we moved to New Orleans. Talk about culture shock! From the Big Easy we moved to the Houston area and now live in a small town about 50 miles west of there. The girl who learned to drive on the Turnpike and Garden State Parkway, avoiding the buses going to Atlantic City, now drives down dirt roads avoiding cattle. I admit that I no longer wear FMPs, having exchanged them for FYPs. But life in the country is good. It isn't Jersey and Galveston will never be the Jersey Shore, but what can ya do?

A chance e-mail has given me a wonderful friend in MagnificentSin. She is an amazingly talented writer, as well as a fellow certified nutcase, who has encouraged me to post my first story. I can't thank her enough for all of her frienship and support and, most of all, the laughter. Those little men in the white coats with the butterfly nets are coming after us. LOOL! She is truly a gift in my life. Thank you for everything, MagS. If you haven't already, you MUST read her stories.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. Please continue to let me know what you think. I've had a wonderful time playing with these characters and I hope you enjoy my humble offerings.

Please feel free to e-mail me, especially if you need factual information about New Jersey and the Jersey Shore. Sleuck@aol.com

Vinnie, he once had a duck

That we all know he liked to ... pluck

His wife, she walked in

And caught him in sin.

Now Vinnie and duck are both f--ed!