Author has written 21 stories for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Die Hard, Wrong Turn, NCIS, Bring it On, Charmed, Dark Angel, Stargate: Atlantis, Angel, Misc. Movies, Blue Crush, Resident Evil series, Wildfire, Lost, Fast and the Furious, SWAT, Victorious, Underworld, and NCIS: Los Angeles.

Name: Faith Marie Michelle Dalton

Age: 23

Favorite Pairings

Victorious: Jori, Cade, Bori, Tandre, Anything besides Bade

Lost: Sana, Jate,

NCIS: Tate, McGiva, Zibbs, Zate, Zabby, Anything Besides Tiva

NCIS LA: Densi, Sensi, Gensi,

Dark Angel: Max/Alec, Max/Zack, Basically anything besides Max and Logan.

Girlfight: Adrian/Diana

R A N D O M -- S T U F F

"I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?"

"Just because I have a short attention span doesn't - look !SHINY!"

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

You know that you're addicted to NCIS when...

1. You have seen every episode several times and still never get tired of it.

2. You will yell if someone tries bothers you on Tuesday night when you are watching a new episode of NCIS.

3. You find yourself Gibbs Slapping people. (Or yourself)

4. You have had a dream about it or involving one of the characters.

5. You daze out while sitting at your desk and imagine yourself running along side Tony and Ziva with your gun drawn yelling, "Federal agents! Drop your weapon!"

6. You watch the movies that Tony has mentioned. As many as humanly possible that is.

7. You wish USA would put more than just three episodes a night on.

8. You have started using military refernces. Hit the head, scuttle butt, hit the rack, etc.

9. The majority of television you watch is of NCIS.

10. You smell something funny or hear a beeping sound and your mind goes to a chemical attack or a bomb.

11. You call people Probie and use McNicknames.

12. Your dog goes missing and you say to, "Put out a BOLO."

13. You try and convince every person you meet to watch it.

14. You use the term Hinky.

If any of these refer to you copy and paste it into your profile.

MY TOP 20 FAVE NCIS QUOTES:

DiNozzo: Have you had your mandatory session with the shrink?
Ziva: Yes!
DiNozzo: Still crazy then?
Ziva glares at Tony
DiNozzo: Getting off your case. -Recoil

DiNozzo: about Ziva hitting his abdomen Do it.
McGee: As hard as she can?
DiNozzo: As hard as you can.
McGee: You know that's how Houdini died.
DiNozzo: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all of their names. -Corporal Punishment

Ziva: Referring to DiNozzo Officer Hadar will not harm him. Only two people have the authority to do that.
Vance: Your father's one. Second?
Ziva: Me. -Aliyah

Eli David: With traffic, I wasn't expecting you for another hour.
Officer Ziva David: I drove.
Eli David: Enough said. -Aliyah

Ziva: referring to one of the supermodels You really find her attractive?
DiNozzo: Oh yeah.
Ziva: Well I want to shoot her. -Model Behavior

Gibbs: Ziva, tough time at the Pawn Shop?
Ziva: Ziva sighs I ran into a stone wall.
DiNozzo: Brick wall.
Ziva: No! It was stone wall! I backed up too quickly. -Hide and Seek

DiNozzo: Curious to find out what follows "red light" behavior, Ziva?
Ziva: Uh... potential pregnancy? -Driven

Ziva: to a suspect who has grabbed her butt Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it! -Singled Out

DiNozzo: Like my father always said, "Be careful who you marry, Anthony. She may end up being a homicidal maniac."
McGee: Your father actually said that to you?
DiNozzo: No, but I'm pretty sure he thought it.
Ziva: Probably he knew your taste in women. -Light Sleeper

DiNozzo: I'm not getting a signal. How about you?
Ziva: holds up her cell phone No. I'm braless.
DiNozzo: I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they're called "bars." -Boxed In

McGee: Well, there's no bag. Maybe the killer took it.
Ziva: Maybe she just didn't have a bag.
McGee: Every woman has a bag.
Ziva: Do I have a bag, McGee?
McGee: No, but you're not a... Well, I mean, you're a woman. You're just not a... not a normal... Tony: Quit while your ahead McGee-Once a Hero

DiNozzo: Someone didn't know how to parallell park
Ziva: I've always found it hard to park when someone is shooting at you -Road Kill

DiNozzo: What did Shmuel Rubinstein do to incur the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me. -Road Kill

Ziva: Tony asked if she misses the excitement of being a Mossad spy You've seen too many James Bond movies. It's not all about car chases and sex.
DiNozzo: It wasn't?
Ziva: Well, there was a lot of sex. -Probie

Ziva: If you value that hand, I suggest you back away, slowly. -Judgement Day

DiNozzo: I don't know if you've noticed but she and they don't exactly want to shoot me.
Ziva: Give them time. -Collateral Damage

Ziva: referring to Tony Is he always this juvenile?
McGee: Only on the days of the week ending with the word "day." -Switch

Abby: What will you do then?
Ziva: We kill them, Abby.
DiNozzo: Arrest them, Ziva. We'll arrest them.
Paula Cassidy: I prefer her way. -Grace Period

Ziva: Do you see what I see?
DiNozzo: Crazy Israeli chick with impulse issues? -Designated Target

DiNozzo: to McGee "The Sound of Music" confuses you, Probie.
Ziva: I love that movie!
starts to sing, DiNozzo puts his hand over her mouth
DiNozzo: One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to "It's a Small World" for 24 hours straight. Do we understand each other? -Hiatus Part I

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person (or not) copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever started humming a song you don't know, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe, copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have been on the computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy this into your profile. (please define "died")

If your profile is long copy this into it to make it even longer.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy this into your profile.

RANDOM QUOTES:

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again--Special Agent Gibbs believes in this one.

"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Never hire a colorblind electrician.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

SARCASM is just another free service I offer.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face.

"I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so whats the point of practicing?

Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is spent teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Everything here is eatable. Even me, but that my children is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

People are like slinkies, basically useless, but it’s hilarious to watch them fall down stairs

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

My mother told me never to talk to strange people. I never talk to myself, parents, or friends anymore.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Just drink it and get it over with!

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tongiht: darkness

Never go to a docter whose office plants have died

On those restaraunt signs that say 'No shirt, no shoes, no service,' does that mean you can wear a shirt and shoes, but no pants, and they have to serve you?

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Have you considered sueing your brain for non-support?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

X

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with NCIS, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

X

Why America has some issues

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

X

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."