Hi! -waves- Nice to meet you. I can't tell you my name because you might be a stalker/scary person/mad axeman...are you?

Oh, and you don't really have to read this. :) It's okay if you don't. I just seem to keep having to add to it. Especially when I'm bored. Which is a lot! It used to be short, but it just kind of took on a life of it's own and started growing. Scary, I know.-sniff- My baby's growing up! Right then...

I have a friend named "M" who is a very amazing person. I mean, so amazing you should all just bow down to her. I do frequently. I also pay her in pennies. She loves them! Yep, even though she is a dog/financial advisor(similar to Dogbert). She helped me write this, too. Isn't she wonderful? Let's give it up for M-bert! And I am NOT crazy. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! Anyway, I'm very weird. I have lots of weird friends, too. And I have a brother(a gnome) and a sister(a baboon) and I love living in coconut land.

And I love books! My favorite books are (this list will probably be very long and will keep on growing, akin to a giant yeast ball (wow that was really random. I have no idea what a yeast ball even looks like. Do you? Is there such a thing? anyways, moving along...)): Twilight (the best book ever!), anything by Diana Wynne Jones (my role model!), the Harry Potters (who hasn't heard of them!), the Inheritance Trilogy, the Bartimaeus Trilogy (I LOVE these! EMG they're so good! Really, everyone in the world should read them!), most books by Tamora Pierce, After, Blue Fingers, Shattering Glass (sad and weird but GOOD!), the Ender books, Artemis Fowl(definitely. I wish he were real!), um...(this list will be continued whenI have the time, aka when I'm bored enough to work on it)

Favorite Bands: Jack's Mannequin, AFI, Hellogoodbye, the All-American Rejects(best band ever!), Death Cab for Cutie, Five for Fighting, Franz Ferdinand, the Killers, Motion City Sountrack, Ok Go, Panic! At the Disco, Plain White T's...the list goes on and on. Oh, and if you ever have the time, listen to Tangerine Speedo by Caviar. I love that song! It's just hilarious!

I found my way to this site through Twilight. I started that book at school, and I loved it so bad I went out and bought it the very same afternoon. I just HAD to finish it, you know? Well, maybe you don't, but I think I might have died if I hadn't finished it in the same day. Seriously. I would have. Then I went to the fansites for it, and before you know it I found myself here, reading fanfics. Now I'm obsessed. I come on every single day and check for updates at least once an hour. I think I am melting my brain out. Oh well. I am not really an author. I'm not that good at writing, so I won't write anything on this site. I just signed up cause I love reading other people's stories, and then after I read it I NEED to review, and SOME people won't let me review unless I'm signed up, so here I am.

I love Twilight fanfiction! It's just so good! And it's something to distract me while I wait for New Moon to come out, but it doesn't come out in October and I am going to DIE if it doesn't come out soon! So, thanks to the many fanfic authors of Twilight, I am still alive. I also like Harry Potter fanfiction. Even though I am not obsessed with the Harry Potter books, like my awesome friend M (and I still think that actor who played Viktor Krum is ugly), I still enjoy the fanfiction because it is just so darn GOOD!

Oh, and if you were wondering what EMG stands for, it means Eh Mi God! My good friend M made that up. She is absolutely the most awesomest person in the world. She likes pennies. The other day me and my other good friend Audacious put 75 pennies in her locker! M was very thrilled when she found 75 pennies in her shoe! Anything to make her happy... As of June 29, 2006, M has a whopping huge total of 374 pennies! She keeps them in a box in order of their year. And if you are laughing right now, beware, because M is much more eviler than me. By far. You don't want to be on her bad side! You don't want to be on Audacious's bad side either. Or any other of my friends. They are all going to help me take over the world! Nice of them, isn't it? Isn't that what friends are for:)

Here is a brief quote from M:

M: "Ryan look, its sunnyvale."

Ryan: "It's an imaginary place M, everyone knows it doesn't really exist."

Here is a little story I wrote for my good friend M. She has to write a story that takes place in the Civil War for school and she was really mad at this guy in her class, so she decided to kill him off in the story. And, being the good friend I am, I offered to help her (plus I love making up deaths, it's like making up tortures, you wouldn't actually want them to take place but it's fun imagining it...you know? Or you might not...) anyway, here it is!

The Tale of Joseph

Joseph was in the front ranks of the Confederate Army. As they charged, he clumsily tripped over a rock and fell down. As he was attempting to use his bayonet to lever himself up, he accidently stabbed himself through the foot, effectively pinning him to the spot. He once again fell over and was promptly trampled by the captains as they rode to the battle on their horses. Mercifully, one of the horses kicked him several yards away, freeing his bloody foot. (Here I was going to add something about being run over by a cannon, but that kinda seemed like overkill. Too much bad luck) Unluckily, he was also knocked out when he collided with a large bolder. He awoke to the sound of Union dogs as they picked up the scent of his blood. He immediatly got up and ran (well, limped I suppose) through the forest in a pathetic attempt to lose them. As he looked back over his shoulder in fear, he collided with a large tree and was once again knocked out cold. The dogs, thinking him dead, ran on past. Joseph awoke several hours later all alone. He was cold and decided he wanted to desert so he could go home and cry to his mother. While making his way home, he came upon the body of a Union soldier. He heard victorious cries far away and assumed the Union had won the battle, so he put on the uniform of the dead soldier so he could sneak away in disguise. Upon leaving the forest, he stumbled upon a camp full of victorious Confederate troops. Mistakening him as a Union soldier, one of his best friends shot him. It was only after his last dying cries of "Mommy!" had faded from the air that they went forward and realized he was in fact the cowardly Joseph who had attempted to desert. Because of him being such a spineless coward, they all spit on his body as they lowered it into the grave.

The End

Lovely, isn't it? Yes, me and M are very proud of it. I hoped you liked it! Joseph certainly did, when we showed it to him. Then he asked us to write one for one of M's friends, for his story. That one wasn't as good, and sadly I forgot to save it, so it's gone forever. Sorry. It was something about her getting drunk and run over by a cannon...Can't really remember. :(

Yay! Schools almost out! I'm so happy I'm gonna asplode! Oh, now I'm sad cause I just remembered finals. Death to finals! Ugh. :( You know what's really stupid? Having a Foods final! Hmph. But you know what's stupider? The first semester people didn't have to take it, only second semester! Anyway, I was just putting off studying cause I really hate studying so I decided to waste time here. Yup, I love wasting time. It's my favorite pasttime! Is that how you spell it? I suck at spelling. I suppose I'd better go study for Spanish now...Death to finals! UPDATE: As of June 10th, today, finals are officially over! For this school at least. Yay! I'm so friggin happy! EMFG! Yesterday was my birthday and I got an IPOD! Woohooo! It plays videos and stuff too! I'm so happy! I guess I'd better start listening to music now...

June 18th: School is finally over! Summer is here! I have decided this summer to write a book. It will probably suck, but I'll try anyway. Just the slightest chance it will turn out to be a tiny bit good. Wish me luck! I just found out my IPOD has games on it! Life is GOOD.

September 1st, still 2006: Wow it's been a while since I updated this, hasn't it? Well, I started a new school year. Woopee! Not! Ugh I hate school. I spent most of the summer trying to get rid of my penguin tan. It's better, but still there. :( You probably don't have any idea what i'm talking about. Well, let me just say, it's a terrible sight to behold. If you don't hear from me in a long time, it's because I have loads of homework and stuff. I think they're trying to kill us by loading us down with homework. After a while our backs will give out and then we'll all be stuck where we fell, paralyzed. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Definitely.

Oh, and I recently met some new people, L and E, who want to take over the world too. When they found out I was going to take it over first, they joined together and made plans to overthrow me. I quickly headed that off by proposing that we all split the world between us. So now E had Europe and some of that mini Asia or whatever it's called, you know greece and all that. And L had Asia and Japan, which is actually part of Asia, but she's forfeited it because she hasn't gotten Twilight and read it yet, which is a capital offense. At least, to me it is. And since I'm the brains here, she listens to me. :) I told her she could redeem herself by buying it and reading it by tomorrow. Wish her luck! Oh, and I have the Americas, including Hawaii. I love Hawaii! It's so awesome there! And I plan to rename Canada, to Canadia. Canadia is much more awesome, don't you think? It just has a ring to it...no? Well, I think it sounds cool. I'll put it to the Canadian people's to vote on when we take over. Africa is shared by all of us as our headquarters, and Australia we decided to divvy up to bribe people with. No offense to your Australian people, of course. I always wanted to go to Australia. It sounds so cool there! I'll definitely build one of my palaces there, along with the one in Hawaii. Currently L is working on a mind control device that we shall implant in the minds of the world leaders, giving us control! It's foolproof, I tell you. No flaws anywhere. It shall work! Just as soon as L figures out how to make a mind control device. Then we'll make tons of copies of it with the cloning/copying thing she invented a few years ago. Hopefully it will be complete within the next 6 months, as our Christmas present to ourselves. Cross your fingers! If you support me, maybe I'll give you a chunk of Australia. :)

Last month, L and I decided to get rid of E after we take over the world. We'll keep her as a slave. Shhh. Don't tell her, or she'll make plans against us. Actually, once all the taking over the world stuff is done, I plan to get rid of both of them. Shhhhh:)

My friend Mango wanted me to put something about her in here, so here it is: Mango is the coolest person alive. Second to me, of course. She wants to help take over the world, but I convinced her to be my special advisor/pet rat. It's better than nothing, eh?

Here is some stolen wisdom. I was looking at other people's profiles and stories, and they have such good advice and quotes that I just had to use it. Every single bit of it is stolen, just so you know. I'm not THAT smart! Even the title "stolen wisdom" is stolen. Sad, huh? If I don't have who said it after the wisdom, that's because either I couldn't find who said it, or I just forgot. Well, enjoy! (Oh, and if I stole this from you and you're mad at me, just tell me and I'll take it off. And I'm sorry in advance for offending you):

Stolen Wisdom

I'm not feeling violent, I'm feeling creative with weapons!

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the rain.

"Everything in this room can be eaten. Even I can be eaten. But that, dear guests, is called cannibalism and is forbidden in most countries." ~ Willy Wonka~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything ?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything?"

"ANYTHING."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

Genius may have it's limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Deja moo. That feeling you get when you've heard this bull before.

Calcium Anthropology: The study of milkmen.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.

"Can you tell me, please, which way I should go from here?" asked Alice. "That depends a great deal on where you want to get to," replied the Cheshire Cat. "I don't much care where," said Alice. "Well then, it doesn't matter which way you go." (Isn't that just genius! I love that quote! It's so inspiring! Well, not inspiring, but doesn't it make you feel fuzzy inside? No? Well, I like it!)

"If you drink a bottle marked 'poison' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later." Alice in Wonderland

If you truly believe that somewhere out there, there is an Edward Cullen for you, put this in your profile.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, put this in your profile.

Never tickle a sleeping dragon for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Well... I am generally a nice person. Unless you are stupid and get on my nerves. Then, I am not so nice (I am currently looking for people whose heads to put on stakes in front of my palace). Are you stupid? If you are, then just stop reading and go away right now. Kay? Kay. One day, I hope to rule the world. Yep. Thats right. Supreme dictator. And there is nothing you can do about it. HA.HA.HA. So, be nice, or else. Have a lovely day !

p.s. I really wouldn't be supreme dictator. I would be more of a... friendly person telling everyone what to do. And when to do it. And where to do it. But not like a supreme dictator at all! Nope. :)