I finally joined Deviant Art! My profile: http://chocolateismydrug.deviantart.com/

Something funny I discovered today

There's fanfiction for TV commercials!! AHAHAHAHAAAA!! Just go to the TV Shows category, and it's a sub-category. I read some about McDonalds and Oxiclean - they were hilarious!! Read them now!!

The Pigeon Conspiracy

Pigeons are taking over the world. I am not kidding. It's all a pigeon conspiracy that has been gradually put into place - so gradually, in fact, that nobody has even realized except for a few. There are many signs of pigeon takeover apparent in our world today and I will do my best to outline these to try and convince you to join the crusade against pigeons. I will go through references in history to pigeons and current signs of pigeon rule that we take for granted.

This pigeon conspiracy, how to describe it... 'Tis an intricate plot that has been brewing since Shakespeare's times. The pigeon influence is evident in Macbeth during the exchange of insults between a murderer and Lady Macduff's son: "Thou liest, thou shag eared villain!" says the boy. The murderer replies, "What, you egg!" and then stabs and kills him. Apparently the 'egg' refers to pigeons and the boy's age. What is more, Lady Macduff and her son were making all sorts of bird metaphors before this scene.

In our modern world, there are many signs that should not be brushed aside. What do people call their in-trays nowadays? That's right: pigeon-holes. The pigeon influence has reached our teachers and executives.

What does this tell you? The influence is strong and strengthening as we speak. Be wary, trust no one; there are pigeon spies everywhere. That seemingly innocent bird pecking the breadcrumbs in your garden, that obnoxiously fat little pigeon bobbing its head as it walks past you in the city, the ever watchful secret agent seagull, the drug-dealing ducks. This is a bird conspiracy we believe is led by the Bird Who Must Not Be Named, the Dark Lord Pigeonmort. It is my objective as a member of the Order of the Bread-Sticks to persuade you, each and every one of you to join the crusade. To make a difference in the world. To show courage in these dark and dangerous times. To fight back before it is too late. In the wise, wise words of Atticus Finch, "In the name of God, do your duty."

C2s and World Domination

The other day, I discovered the joys of C2s. I even made one myself, for Artemis Fowl. It was a lot of fun, and I considered making a Bollywood C2, but right now, the Bollywood section is like a C2 itself, it's so small. That day, I realized something. We may be tiny, but we have the potential to grow. We, the Bollywood section, the underdog, can become as big if not bigger than the Harry Potter section if we really try. Think of the fact that Shahrukh Khan is the most popular actor in the world in terms of number of fans, even though he is virtually unknown to most of the western world. And there are many other Bollywood fans who are not SRK fans. So that must mean that more people know of Bollywood and Bollywood movies, something that has existed well before 1997's Harry Potter. So all these people must write. And must introduce Bollywood to their friends, so their friends can write. And eventually, we can take over the world!! MUAHAHAHAAA!!

Ahem. Well. What I meant to say was, if we worked together, then we can make Bollywood a big section. Yes. And you must write, because I tell you to. Heh. Here's a morale booster: D'you know we're beating the 'Bride and Prejudice' section by heaps of stories? (though to be fair, B and P is only one movie, while Bollywood is millions and I did quite like that B and P story)

All You'll Ever Need To Know About Me:

Some Random Things in No Particular Order:

I have a pigeon figure, despite the fact that I think they are taking over the world

I brush my teeth everyday (Wiggles in-joke - but I do brush them everyday though; twice)

I've watched the Wiggles with my baby cousin and actually enjoyed it

I obviously consider the above facts more important than my nationality, favourite food, likes and dislikes and the fact that I have a brother

I'm a PIO living in Australia

I love reading, roller-blading, watching a good movie...

I don't like popcorn

Obviously, I love chocolate

My ideal day is one spent lazing around at home, writing fics, watching a movie, reading a good book... (unluckily for me, I can only live out my ideal day on national holidays and the summer, since every weekend is a rush.)

I have a brother

I have an absolutely terrible sense of direction

Health classes, medical shows and learning about global warming all scare me

I can't tolerate watching Big Brother

I love the Simpsons and dislike it when people think they're too mature for it

I like Indian cinema, particularly Hindi cinema (the regional stuff I've seen is really good too)

I think that little kids' television has gone to the dogs these days. The cartoons they show are getting worse and worse

I find things like mooses getting drunk funny (I've been told since that the plural of moose is meese - weird...)

I have a weird sense of humour (see above)

I can be a terrible hypocrite when it comes to Hindi movies. When I'm watching with my family, I make sarcastic comments about the costume changes and sudden songs and dodgy dance moves. However, if I'm watching with non-Indian friends, nobody makes any comments if they want to stay alive

I contemplate the meaning of life on train journeys as I stare blankly out the window

I am a terrible procrastinator and I leave work to the last minute

I hate writing stories within word limits (I tend to go over them)

I have a habit of reading my favourite books again and again and desperately need to increase my reading range

I cringe when I look at some of my pathetic attempts at writing from last year

I think it's immoral to kill things like moths and spiders and cockroaches, even though I hate the last two. My dad killed a huntsman with one of my slippers the other day and I burst into tears. I was hysterical before that, on account of there actually being a huntsman near me, and seeing it's guts splatter all over our deck was the last straw

Pet Peeves:

Anonymous flamers - I don't mind flames themselves. Okay, they're not so nice to receive, but at least if the flame is signed then I can communicate to the flamer. Anonymous flaming is cowardly.

People who talk about nothing except other people who I don't know

People who are overly obsessed with make-up/jewellery/dating/fashion

People who think that everyone should be overly obsessed with make-up/jewellery/dating/fashion.

People who judge others through looks alone

Stuck-up people

Racist people

People who accuse other people of being racist when they're not

Racial stereotypes (all Asians must be smart; Aussies have kangaroos in their backyard and play sport all the time; Americans are obese, sex-obsessed people who get divorced all the time; Indians cannot have naturally light eyes; German people are evil Nazis; French people are posh snobs; African people are uneducated and poor; etc. ...)

People who put me into a stereotype (just because I wear glasses and like to read Jane Austen, they don't have to act all surprised when they find out I like Hindi movies and Meg Cabot books as well)

When North Indians make fun of South Indians and vice-versa

People who don't know when to leave you alone

Smart people who rub in the fact that they're smarter than you and make you feel stupid

People who make fun of Bollywood movies (or just Bollywood in general) after having seen one or none of them

When people ask me, 'You speak Indian at home, right?' THERE IS NO SUCH LANGUAGE AS 'INDIAN' (I have answered this question far too many times)

When you cry and everyone crowds around you and asks if you are OK (obviously, if I cry and nobody asks about me, I'll complain about that too - you can't win ;-) )

Spiders

Cockroaches

Slash fics (unless they're really, really beautiful like this Dead Poets Society one I read the other day)

Fanfics in which characters do anything more than snog (even if they're of the opposite sex)

Movies that have over-mushiness or adult themes in them that embarrass me when I'm watching with my family

Overzealous fans who bash other people just to make their idol look better.

Eleven-year-old girls who watch Bollywood movies and dream and fantasize about 40-year-old men and gush about how hot they - the aforementioned 40-year-old men - are (I don't dislike this so much as I am annoyed by it)

Favourite Books: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, Emma by Jane Austen, North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, all the Harry Potter ones, all the Artemis Fowl ones, all the Alex Rider ones, The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, The Kindaichi Case Files (a manga series) by Yozaburo Kanari, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, the Rowan of Rin series by Emily Rodda, City of the Beasts, Kingdom of the Golden Dragon & Forest of the Pygmies by Isabel Allende (they're three separate books), some of the earlier books by Meg Cabot, Life of Pi by Yann Martel, Holes by Louis Sachar, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, Mao's Last Dancer by Li Cunxin, Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne...

Fictional Character Crushes (I'm a loser, I know):

Artemis Fowl: ARTEMIS FOWL II!!

Ouran High School Host Club: Tamaki, Kyouya and to some extent, Mori

Harry Potter: Young James Potter, young Sirius Black, young Remus Lupin (yes, I'm obsessed with the Marauders) and to some extent Ron Weasley.

Kindaichi Case Files: Akechi, even though he's an arrogant bastard

Favourite Hindi Movies:

1. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (1993) - Kundan Shah

2. Swades (2004) - Ashutosh Gowariker

3. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995) - Aditya Chopra

4. Chak De! India (2007) - Shimit Amin

5. Dor (2006) - Nagesh Kukunoor

6. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) - Karan Johar

7. Main Hoon Na (2004) - Farah Khan tied with Om Shanti Om (2007) - also directed by Farah Khan

8. Asoka (2001) - Santosh Sivan

9. Yes Boss (1997) - Aziz Mirza

10. Veer-Zaara (2004) - Yash Chopra

11. Don (2006) - Farhan Akhtar

12. Lagaan (2001) - Ashutosh Gowariker

13. Paheli (2005) - Amol Palekar

14. Baazigar (1993) - Abbas-Mustan

15. Darr (1993) - Yash Chopra

16. Dil Se... (1998) - Mani Ratnam

17. Iqbal (2005) - Nagesh Kukunoor

18. Maqbool (2004) - Vishal Bharadwaj

19. Taare Zameen Par (2007) - Aamir Khan

20. Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani (2000) Aziz Mirza

21. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) - Sanjay Leela Bhansali

22. Life in a... Metro (2007) - Anurag Basu

23. Chalte Chalte (2003) - Aziz Mirza

24. Lajja (2001) - Rajkumar Santoshi

25. Raincoat (2004) - Rituparno Ghosh

26. Ek Hasina Thi (2004) - Sriram Raghavan

27. Masoom (1983) - Shekar Kapur

28. Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003) - Nikhil Advani

29. Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman (1992) - Aziz Mirza

30. Hum Tum (2004) - Kunal Kohli

Hindi Movies That I Liked In A Morbid Sort Of Way: Anjaam (that was a freaky one), Ek Hasina Thi (ditto Anjaam - lots of blood and rats), Khakee (bombs, people dying, corrupt policemen, etc.), Bhoot (unintentionally funny, sometimes scary try-hard horror movie), 3 Deewarein (prisons, gay rape, murder, etc.), Aetbaar (there's this psycho stalker-killer dude...)...

Hindi Movies That Bored Me To Death: Dhoom, Yaadein, Hum Kisise Kum Nahin (the one with Sanjay Dutt and Aishwarya Rai), Hum Aapke Hain Koun (they seriously burst into song every five minutes - normally, I love songs, but this was just annoying), Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai (STUPID! Some of the songs were good, but the plot is seriously dumb - Rakesh Roshan must think we're mentally retarded or something), Taal (songs were good, but it got boring), Devdas (ditto Taal - end seemed a bit pointless as well; I like feel-good movies)...

Favourite Actors:

Shahrukh Khan (a very versatile actor, and at the moment my favourite - this guy can do anything: loverboy, patriotic, teacher/mentor-type, annoying 'stud', nice guy, ambitious career guy, dumb cop, third wheel in love triangle, avenger, psycho stalker, REALLY psycho stalker, ghost, snobby superstar, the list goes on.)

Aamir Khan (good actor - most of his movies are good - haven't seen a lot though. Was a total cutie in the early nineties. =D)

Abhishek Bachchan (He isn't the greatest actor, but he seems like a nice guy from his interviews)

Saif Ali Khan (this guy is so FUNNY! He has the best comic timing in the Bollywood film industry and has also improved a LOT from when he started out - he's also a great villain; he's being kind of crap lately though - Tara Rum Pum?? Tashan?? RACE?? Ugh)

Shahid Kapoor (okay, I'll admit, it's not really his acting skills that make me a fan =D)

Favourite Actresses:

Juhi Chawla (Wow!! She's the most beautiful actress in Bollywood - yes, I find her prettier than Miss Rai. She's so cute and bubbly and she's got the best comic timing! She makes me laugh so much, and she is one of those rare actors who can do comedy as well as she can do drama.)

Tabu (She's so, so beautiful and a brilliant actress as well.)

Kajol (awesome, awesome, AWESOME actress, grows on you if you don't like her at once)

Madhuri Dixit (awesome actress, gorgeous, can even dance really well... sigh... some people have it all)

Preity Zinta (so cute and bubbly, looks like she'd be a nice person in real life)

Aishwarya Rai (so many people hate on this woman. I don't get it. What's there to hate? Watch Kandukondain Kandukondain, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Raincoat, Mohabbatein, Josh, Guru)

Kareena Kapoor (I don't get why people hate her so much. I think it's because of K3G. Guys, watch her performances in Asoka, Jab We Met, Omkara, Chameli, Dev!! This woman's got talent!)

Favourite Onscreen Bollywood Couples (Yes, I am obsessed):

Shahrukh Khan and Juhi Chawla (so sue me. I prefer SRK-Juhi to SRK-Kajol. I think SRK and Juhi have a more earthy, ordinary, relatable chemistry, unlike SRK and Kajol's very romantic, in-the-air type chemistry (which I love too, don't get me wrong!). Though in the end, I prefer SRK-Juhi because they're both hilarious, cute, and possess the ability to make me laugh, cry and go 'aw...' when they're together.)

Shahrukh Khan and Kajol

Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla

Saif Ali Khan and Preity Zinta

Shahrukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit

Shahid Kapoor and Amrita Rao

Hrithik Roshan and Preity Zinta

Shahrukh Khan and Preity Zinta

Shahrukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee

Shahrukh Khan and pretty much anybody

Favourite Hindi Movie Music Composers:

A.R. Rahman - this guy is so, so talented. His music is brilliant and on top of it all, he's a great singer, too. His best albums are: Dil Se (it's been 10 years since he composed this but it's still my favourite album ever), Swades, Jodhaa Akbar, Guru, Kandukondain Kandukondain, Lagaan, Yuva, Rang De Basanti.

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy - particularly like the Shankar of this trio, Shankar Mahadevan. Immensely talented guy - great composer and great singer as well. Best albums: Kal Ho Naa Ho, Don, Taare Zameen Par, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Bunty Aur Babli, Salaam-e-Ishq, Mission Kashmir.

Jatin-Lalit - they don't compose any more, but still. Their music is always catchy and very cute. Best albums: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Yes Boss, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Chalte Chalte, Hum Tum, Fanaa.

Salim-Sulaiman - One word: Chak De India! Well, that's actually three words, but whatever. It is one of the most amazing, brilliant soundtracks I've ever heard! Their Dor soundtrack was also mood-appropriate and quite nice. Aaja Nachle is great too!

Vishal-Shekhar - OH MY GOD!! Om Shanti Om is SO awesome!! It's their best album ever!! Salaam Namaste was also pretty catchy. Tara Rum Pum sucked except for one song. Tashan had two good songs and the rest sucked.

Anu Malik - I don't like this guy at all. He copies songs like there is no tomorrow. However, he is on this list because of one brilliant original album: Asoka. All of the songs are beautiful, especially Roshni Se. Also, Main Hoon Na was great as well.

(Current) Favourite Songs

'Ae Ajnabi' - Dil Se

'Poonkatrile' - Uyire (LOL... it's the Tamil version of Ae Ajnabi)

'Dil Se Re...' - Dil Se

'Santosha Kanneere' - Uyire (you guessed it, the Tamil version of Dil Se Re)

'Satrangi Re' - Dil Se (Tamil version nowhere near as good as Sonu's, so it's not here)

'Jiya Jale' - Dil Se (Yes, I'm kinda obsessed with Dil Se)

'Dil Haara' - Tashan (you know how I said Dard-e-disco was the best song ever once? Well I was wrong - THIS IS!! Also sung by Sukhwinder Singh, incidentally)

'Falak Tak' - Tashan (Udit is finally back in form with this lovely romantic song - his voice is sounding very nice)

'Yeh Ishq Haye' - Jab We Met (yeah, I know it's plagiarised, but it's so good!!)

'Ajab Si' - Om Shanti Om (Song that left the most lasting impact after I got bored of the rest of the soundtrack)

'Dard-E-Disco' - Om Shanti Om (so I got over it. Oh well... it was bound to happen, I suppose. But I do still like it.)

'Daastaan' - Om Shanti Om

'Jag Soona Soona Lage' - Om Shanti Om (beautifully and powerfully sung)

'Deewangee' - Om Shanti Om (I dislike English lyrics in Hindi songs, but at least in party-type songs they fit somewhat)

'Dhoom Taana' - Om Shanti Om

'Main Agar Kahoon' - Om Shanti Om (there, I think that's the whole album)

'Aaja Nachle' - Aaja Nachle (I really love the violin bit that appears throughout the song)

'Yoon Shabnami' - Saawariya (love it! It's so good!)

'Saawariya' - Saawariya (love it except for the yodelling)

'Chhabeela' - Saawariya (the song that made me actually really like Alka Yagnik's singing)

'Chak De India' - Chak De! India

'Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan' - Chak De! India

'Badal Pe Paon Hain' - Chak De! India (I am OBSESSED with CDI)

'Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai' - Woh Lamhe

'Yenna Solla Pogirai' - Kandukondain Kandukondain

'Kannamoochi' - Kandukondain Kandukondain

Favourite Playback Singers:

Female: Shreya Ghoshal (very good singer), Sunidhi Chauhan (natural sounding and very versatile), Alisha Chinoy (natural sounding), Alka Yagnik (here purely for Chhabeela from Saawariya), Vasundhara Das (voice of Preity Zinta).

Male: Sukhwinder Singh (WOW - amazing voice), Sonu Nigam (versatile and very sweet voice), Udit Narayan (voice of Shahrukh in the 90s), Shankar Mahadevan (very clear voice), Shaan (voice of Saif, good singer), AR Rahman (powerful and unusual voice).

Favourite Movie Quotes:

"This is too much! Ab yeh Akbar kahan se aa gaya??" - The Guy Who Plays The Blind King Of the Kauravas In That Play In Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro

"You are very queet! ...Queet?" - Anupam Kher, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

"Kabhi kabhi kuch jiitne ke liye kuch haarna bhi padhta hai. Aur haarke jiitnewale ko Baazigar kehte hain." - Shahrukh Khan, Baazigar

"Kabhi kabhi dil jodne ke liye dil todna bhi padhta hai. Aur todke jodnewale ko... pata nahi kya kehte hain." - Shahrukh Khan, Baadshah

"Khidki...?? Sunil, tum hamesha khidki se kyon jaate ho??" - Naseeruddin Shah, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa

"Mera toh ek hi favourite subject hai. Anna, Anna, Anna... aur Anna!" - Shahrukh Khan, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa

"I love you, K-K-K-Kiran." - Shahrukh Khan, Darr

"GOSH! Freaking idiot!" - Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite

"Tina, you fat lard! Eat the food! Eat the food, Tina!" - Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite (to his pet llama, Tina)

"I see you're drinking one percent. Is that because you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to." - Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite

"I like your sleeves. They're real big." - Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite

"This is a liger. It's a cross between a lion and a tiger - it's pretty much my favourite animal. They're bred for their skills in magic." - Jon Heder, Napoleon Dynamite

I wonder if anyone bothers to read these profiles? If you have, well done. I'm planning to fill up the Bollywood section in the Movie division. It's no easy feat, seeing as how there are two fics in there, one in German (there have been more added since, but still ;-). It will be difficult. There will be hurdles. But I shall try.

I just re-read my profile and realized that everything there has something to do with Hindi movies apart from list of favourite books and quotes from them and the fact list about me. Sad. Really sad.

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