I am a moderately sane cajun river rat that serves tea with bouts of randomness, and irrepressible flights of fancy. I am the posterchild for ADD, and at 30, bring home the bacon from Domino's quite literally. I am the queen of double entendres. Though a mediocre author, I am a fanfiction lover at my best. Full of snark, and antiquated wit. At least I like to think so. I'm not very good at speaking in the "voice" I need most of my major characters to speak with, though through perserverance, I've managed to not look or sound completly like a fool ...I think. The rest I leave to chance, the roll of the dice, and sheer dumb luck.

As they say in whispers in private circles around the world over, don't annoy the crazy person.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" -Jack Kerouac

And now comes the part where I glomp my inner-fangirl and Squee!

Favorite Pairings:

11. Predator/Human - I'm a sick twisted individual. But they purr!
10. Jareth/Sarah - The Labyrinth - My all time favorite movie. Obsession bordering on the brink of madness really. It's sad.
9. Jim/Blair - The Sentinel - The pairing that started it all for me. -pets-
8. Angel/Spike/Xander - B:TVS/A:TS - I'll take these 3 any way I can get them.
7. Treize/Wufei - I'm a bit crazy. But 13x5 is the way to go. Heck Wufeixanyone rocks.
6. Bumblebee/Sam - I made my toys do strange things as a child too.
5. Sesshoumaru/Kagome - Inuyasha rocks. Sesshoumaru just rocks a bit harder.
4. Severus/Harry or Severus/Hermione - I love them both equally.
3. Sasuke/Naruto - Sasunaru has corrupted my brain!
2. Seto/Jou - Yu-Gi-Oh - I'm a firm believer in puppyshipping. Opposites attract.
1. Saitoh/Sanosuke - Rurouni Kenshin - SAISA all the way, baby.

Works In Progress Offline:

Something Wicked - Jeff/Shannon Status - On Hold
Shannon contemplates his feelings for his best friend while helping him prepare a dinner for Beth. "It's so wrong, but I can't stop it, and it hurts so much I can't breathe."

Something Wanton - Spike/Xander Status - On Hold
Spike learns something new about his pet during a bout of random lovemaking. "I always knew you were a closet cocksucker, pet. But, it never occured to me that you'd one day figure out how to suck my brain out when you were doing so."

Something Magical - Willow + Jericho Status - Chapter 1 up
Willow and Xander stumble upon a wrestler with an unknown demon problem and hijinks ensue. "I find it easiest at a time like this to look innocent, babble incoherently, and deny everything." This is story 3 in the series.

Something Hot - Angel/Xander + Edge Status - Rough Draft
Angel learns of Xander's fantasy one night and strives to make it come true. "His name is Edge. It's the eyes, the smile, the hair, the total package. It's like an aura with him. The one that says I can fuck you to death and make you love every minute of it."

Something Strange - Sesshoumaru/Xander Status - Chapter 1 Up
Stumbling upon a strange shrine and an even stranger well, Xander finds himself 500 years in the past and at the mercy of an odd little girl who is set on making him her nii-san. "Er, yeah, Hi? Should I just say right off the bat, please don't eat me for dinner Mr. Shiny, er, pretty, demon-man-thing. Because my best-friend Buffy, the SLAYER, will fix your ass good and then where will you be? Without an ass, that's where!" This is story 4 in the series.

Something Raw - Adam/Jay Status - 3 Chapters Up
When Jay finds himself alone with his thoughts in a holding cell after a drunken encounter escalates into a fight with a fan, but not for long. "What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm here to return a library book. I'm here for you, idiot!" This is Story 1 in the series.

Something Unexpected - Jeff/OMC Status - Chapter 1 Up
A fan gets much more than he bargained for when he asks for an autograph after Jeff shows up unexpectedly at the diner where he works. "Your total comes to 12.99, will that be cash or.. Jeff Hardy!" This is Story 2 in the series.

Teatime - Xander/? Status - Chapter 1 Up
It's Teatime and Miss Edith needs her tea. Drusilla decides she needs her dark kitten to accomplish this. What's one lone scooby sna- er..member to do? Why! Serve crumpets of course.

Stray Thoughts - Xander Status: On Hold
A drabble post Season7 where upon Xander learns that he too can brood about unimportant things. Such as Angel's leather pants and Spike's fuck me smile.

A Villian By Any Other Name - Xander/Jareth A BTVS/Labyrinth Crossover Status - Rough Draft
After drooling over David Bowie in Labyrinth one too many times, Cordy wishes the goblins would take Xander away. Silly girl, this is THE Hellmouth after all. Anything can happen. Post Season 2.

For those of you who are smoking enough crack to want to read more of my stories or are interested in knowing where else I archive at, you can usually find me at The Croff, or Adulfanfiction.net or here. Exclusive Buffy fanfiction can be found at I Need A Parrot.

A mini-update. It's been so long, I've almost forgotten how to spell update. My long un-updated story "Flat Tires & Deadzones, Oh My!" has been revamped, edited, and other wise jumbled about. lol Enjoy the new look.

A Side Note: While I delve deeper into my brain for my muses, the constant plotbunnies have once again bit me right on the arse. Even MORE ideas for my something series.

A Little Something - Severus/Xander A B:TVS/Harry Freaking Potter X-over
"The Mojo that you know isn't the Mojo that I know, you dig?"

Something or Rather - Jim/Blair + Xander A Sentinel/B:TVS X-over
"Jim, C'mon Man, it'll be fun to explore the culture he knows." "Famous last words I'm sure, Sandburg."

Whew. I just noticed Xander gets around in my world. Too bad he can't visit. ;_;

Alas, my muses have flown far, far away. So if you have a plotbunny that's eating away at your brain, send inspiration my way. No matter the fandom, genre, or pairing.

Current Music Obsession: Drake - Best I Ever Had
Current Book Obsession: D. H. Lawrence - "Lady Chatterly's Lover"
Current Food Obsession: Yakisoba
Current Movie Obsession: Labyrinth, as always.
Current Color Obsession: Pink. Dear god my eyes, make it go away!
Current Game Obsession: Resident Evil 5 for the Xbox 360
Current Pairing Obsession: Sasunaru!
Current Quote Obsession: "The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" - Don Quixote
Current Computer Obsesssion: Alienware
Current Website Obsession: The Ultra Interactive Kung Fu Remixer
Past Current Obsessions: Anime, Fanfiction,Manga, etc.

"I poke Badgers with Spoons"

A new story. 12-14-09
Little Acorns is it's name.
A feeble attempt at curing my two year and running writer's block.
It has 25 planned chapters so far with 4 up and running.
This ficlet series spans all universes.
So far it has movies, tv series, anime, video games and books.
God knows what else will come along.
Send positive energy my way.
My muses need the power.

Preview of chapter 5:

Title: The Mask You Wear
Fiction: Bleach (Anime/Manga)
Pairing: Ichigo + Orihime
Genre: None
Word count so far: 127