Hi everyone!

Because everyone cares about my personal life, I'm so beyond happy to say that I have officially recieved my first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. (Now I can beat up the flamers! Bring it!) Okay, just the random bit about my life. And... I'm trying to update. Partially for reasons of karma (I want my favorite fan fics updated NOW, and I'm going for the karma approach) but also because I feel guilty for keeping y'all hanging. I mean, okay, when I re-read my older fan fictions I tend to wince and cry and pull my hair out, but my friends tell me I'm too hard on myself. So... I'll probably keep writing in my old style out of sheer laziness, because even if it's rougher, it's easier. Forgive this slacking fan fic writer? (I'm also scared that if I tried to write in my current style, I'd go nuts and re-write everything just to keep things consistant, and that'd be too much work, considering I'm trying to focus on my original work as well! XP) Hey, isn't it LOVELY when your life goal is to be a novelist? Yeesh...

Okay, I'm a high school student, a total fan-brat. I like slash, femmslash, and het. I am a grammar fiend, though I was not when I started writing... (For a grammar fiend, I make a tremendous amount of errors. O_o) I try to leave helpful reviews, but more often than not I'm too lazy. I have plans to be a novelist, but it'd probably be helpful if I could write my novels straight out rather than trashing them 50,000 words in. (Yeah, I count the words, and I have ever since NaNoWriMo. My account is Ashita-no-Yuki, if anyone cares to check out my twisted original novels :D)

So I'm starting a new fan fiction in a different category... It's a Kingdom Hearts fan fic called "Jail Bait". So if there are any fans of Kingdom Hearts slash--namely AxelxRoxas--check it out when it comes up!

Fan fiction updates

Shades of Grey: It has not been abandoned. For reasons unknown, you all are willing to put up with my sporadic updates, and I'm very grateful. I'm probably getting pretty close to finishing, mostly because I feel bad about keeping you all hanging for so long.

Come What May: It is tentative whether or not I will ever update this again. I re-read my pre-planned ending and nearly vomited--it appears I could not write at all in eighth grade. (Yikes, has it been that long since I started planning it?!) I might give it a few chapters and pull an ending out of somewhere, because I hate just leaving it...

The Diary of Dolores Jane Umbridge: Highly unlikely that this will ever be updated again. I'm very sorry, but I'm just not random enough to handle it. Maybe someday I'll do a re-write and actually attempt to make it decent?

Just a War: Don't hold your breath, not that anyone was waiting for an update in the first place...

The Beginning, The Middle, and the End: Don't hold your breath, not that anyone was waiting for an update in the first place...

What is Wrong With Society These Days: Do we really need more weird randomness? I might go ahead and give it... an ending. There's nothing to conclude here, really...

Jail Bait: Up-and-coming, and hopefully it will be better than my other works!

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

This next thing is a sarcastic spoof, meant to be funny. Please don't flood my inbox with angry messages: I am for gay marriage all the way.

The "top 10 reasons" to be against gay marriage

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

I'm EMO sometimes, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. (I'm tentative on this one. Yes, I am bi. But not all liberals are, considering one of my straightest friends is one of the most liberal people I know... Screw it and highlight XD)

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I take ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST work at a casino.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I have straight A's, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I have GERMAN HERITAGE, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don’t like the SUN, so I MUST worship Satan.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST worship the devil.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck
You own/ed an X-Box
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth. (sometimes)
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 9

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars
You were in gymnastics/dance. (WERE is the key word here.)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

TOTAL: 11

YOU ARE A: A girl. (Thank goodness I scraped by with my correct gender...)