When even your favorite taste leaves your mouth bitter, how much of your soul still exists?

Name: Claire (Nicknames: Clae, Claz, Clarisse, Loui)

Birthday: 1st January 1989 (Age: 19)

Hair: Brown/Red

Eyes: Blue/Grey

I enjoy drawing morbid things. I like writing and reading angst. I imagine people I know dying. These three things will probably never change, but fortunately, I believe I am more mentally stable now. After all, I haven’t cut or ‘punished’ myself in a while and don’t intend to start again. It’s not that I don’t like pain or blood, but because it makes me weak willed and feeble minded. I do not want to be registered as a pathetic coward or looked at with disgusted pity.

Well, about me…I came from a broken home; believe in the paranormal, though not excessively; I’ve been described at an emotional void; I’ve been labelled a curse for ‘coincidental’ happenings to me as/before one of my family dies; my brother and a few others really have tried to kill me; I almost killed a guy; my mind never rests; I constantly smile in the presence of other people; I’ve been in most of the social circles at school and hated popularity the most; I don’t really cry; and I don’t fear death.

Despite what people say, I’m sure I have different personalities because sometimes, people talk of things we’ve done together and I do not remember a thing. When I ask if my personality was any different they say ‘now that you mention it’. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter. Right now, I’m looking for a job, or more like a career pathway. The problem is that I have no ambitions, dreams or goals that I want to fulfil or aim for, so I have no idea in which direction to take.

Well, that’s me. Ja.

I said that I'd teach people how to bend the truth without lying, so here it is.

Step 1. The first and most simple step is to think of what the other person precisely asks you. For example, if someone asks you: "Have you been to a club tonight?" If you had and you weren't supposed to, you say. "No." "I swear mom, I haven't been to any club." "Why would I want to go there?" or "I thought about it, but I knew you'd get mad." With any of these and many others you aren't lying and you'd be confident in yourself that you weren't and wouldn't get found out. The reason for this is that, no you didn't go to a club, you and Shelley went to a club; you didn't go to just any club, you went to a specific club; you are literally asking a question, you never actually answered; you did actually think that, you just ignored it.

Step 2. Another thing when bending the truth is to express a view at a wide angle. For instance, talk about people in general instead of you specifically. "Are you still a virgin?" would give to things like. "Who in their right mind would still be a virgin?" "I don't think anyone in this room is still a virgin; well maybe a few, but what hope do they have?" If you were embarrassed about being one, or if you wanted to be: "Do you think I'm a slut?" "Hey, I'm not like most of the people in this class." Basically, implicate that you feel or are of a different perspective without actually saying it. It doesn't matter if you're berating something as long as you aren't specifically targeting others or making them a hate interest for people.

Step 3. Never use specific dates or times. For instance, "Where have you been?" "I went to Gemma's. She can cook really well, ne?" You have been to Gemma's; just not today. And she is a good cook, but that had nothing to do with where you've been. This type of reasoning can be brought into other areas also. Like, if someone was to ask for something like your best sex position, you could say that you like being in control; which has nothing to do with a position, but people take it as you like to ride a guy (if a girl/uke) or dominate. Basically, to take different situations and apply them to the now. Eg "How did you two meet?" "Well, I knew his brother first." The unspoken part is that you didn't know they were related at first and had a wild night two months earlier.

Step 4. Always let people assume and continue the conversation spaces that you left. As with a continuation with the last in step three. "Oh, so did he introduce you two?" "Something like that." or "Yeah, I never even knew Tommy had a brother before then." or "Well, I saw him and Tommy went; oh, that's my brother Dean." Because, technically Tommy did introduce him, you just knew him already. And now, the subject of how you met is gone and people assume it was at the introduction. Most people hate it when someone assumes, but you need to bend that factor of people to your advantage.

Well, I can't think of anything else, so see ya.

Quick Note: Sorry people; I've been moving in my brother and searching for a job. I've got a chapter written for my ItaNaru but haven't had the time to type it up. I'm also rewriting the next chapters for my SasuNaru and NejiHina. They were inadequate for my increasingly 'Emo' mood. I have an interview on Monday but should have something written for Tuesday; so long as my family are not yelling or using my computer. Apparantly, it's not mine ever since my father left. If I decide to leave and live with my Father I may be able to write more with the required silence, however, I do not know if my Mother and siblings would survive without me. I need time to work this out. Gomennasai.

Oh my God, that is so out of date. So I got that job I went to the interview for...well, it's the only interview I ever went for, so I must have done something right. I moved out and in with my Father. Suprisingly, my Mother has expanded from her internet controlled world and comes out of the house at least once every two weeks. I have visited there...quite regularly in fact...She's so friendly that it's weird. I'm still a skank with the story updating, but whatever. I'm always doing something now. Like right at this minute, my Uncle has come around for a visit and tomorrow I think I'm going out to Gavin's...I dunno. Anywho, I'm better now...Sounding like I had a disease, but it's the truth. The people at work are great and the lack of hostile environment is comforting. And Rachel is probably reading this...And I don't care, you hear!