Hi… My name is Danielle and I have nothing really witty to say on this profile so you get a bunch of quotes… after all, ‘quoting is a serviceable substitute for wit’ … yeah… I think that quote is actually on here somewhere… so if you don’t want to read my quotes the things that you might be interested in are as follows:

Favorite Pairs:

Harry/Hermione (in case you didn’t guess that from my screen name)

Hermione/Fred/George (just make a cute couple)

Slash:

Harry/Draco (someone else said ‘that when you had fire and ice you get nothing but steam’ and I would have to say I totally agree! there I go, quoting… again)

Harry/Snape

Remus Sirius (favorite slash pairing… they just work together)

Hermione/Minerva (newly acquired taste)

Parings I HATE:

Harry/Ginny (she practically worships him… that’s not love)

Ron/Hermione (I guess I can deal with them, but they just fight to much to fit together)

I have multiple personalities and you can find them at the following links:

My emo/gothic/dark side is at http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1222228/

-My personality that’s in to slash is http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1238438/

-The personality with the sense of humor is http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1015762/

I have other personalities but don’t have them posted yet… actually… the only reason I have all these is because I got bored… that happens a lot)

I hope you enjoy my profile and my stories (if you read them which I think you should… or atleast the Teaching in the Past one… Darkness isn’t all that great in my opinion) and check out my other profiles too! (maybe… if you really want to…) Later!

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off

If you agree, that purple bunnies WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

SAYINGS:

-When GIANT FLUFFY BUNNIES take over the world, I just want you to know that I'm so not saving your ass.

-Start the year off with a positive attitude… and an excuse for everything.

-To make a beautiful rose, sometimes you have to shovel some shit.

-Put your best foot forward, and try not to step in anything.

-When in doubt act happy… it’ll drive everyone else crazy.

-Watch out for people that act weird... they may not be acting.

-Don’t be too proud to beg. It may be the only way to get what you want.

-Let a smile be your umbrella, but plan on getting soaked.

-Love puts a twinkle in your eye… and a dent in your wallet.

-Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one is looking.

-Ah the holidays! The perfect time to visit family, friends, and a therapist.

-Sarcasm: just one of the services I offer.

-I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

-When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

-Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply, just being one.

-I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

-Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

-I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

-Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

-They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

-Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

-I can resist everything except temptation.

-Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

-I’ve got nothing to say, don’t make me say it twice.

-Just because I’m beautiful, doesn’t mean I’m not talented.

-Lord, if you won’t make me skinny, please make my friends phat.

-I’m too busy to be organized.

-I’m magically delicious.

-Fake is the latest trend, and everyone seems to be in style.

-It’s better to be pissed of than pissed on.

-Into every life a little rain must fall, but I think someone’s mistaken me for Noah.

-Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

-I use to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.

-I am in shape, round is a shape.

-I use to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

-I used Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

-It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.

-My Reality Check bounced.

-When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If daddy ain’t happy, don’t nobody care.

-Perfect the art of looking innocent... then you can get away with anything.

-When you’re right no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one ever forgets.

-Laws were meant to be broken; Lawyers are for when you get caught.

-Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

-Learn the rules so you can break them properly.

-Rules, what rules?

-Your only as strong as the table you dance on, the drinks you mix and the friends you roll with.

-A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s, she changes it more often.

-Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

-Guys are like lava lamps, good to look at, but not very bright.

-God made me, and then he had a better idea.

-Don’t judge a boy by his boxers. It’s what’s inside that counts.

-Behind every Bitch, there’s a man who made her that way.

-Not all men are idiots, some are fools.

-All men are animals, some just make better pets.

-Everyone’s entitled to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

-My door is always open, so feel free to leave.

-Hate: a special kind of love given to people that suck.

-Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. Poof come back, I found a Tic-Tac

-Your slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

-Slinky’s are like idiots… you just can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

-I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his Coach purse.

-I only please one person a day. Today’s not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

-My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son-of-a-Bitch.

-If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

-If you have any questions, ask someone else.

-Shock me, say something intelligent

-I hear voices and they don’t like you.

-My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

-I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

-If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you

-You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

-It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

-Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

-I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

-It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

-I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

-There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full

-I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

-I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

-I ran with scissors, and lived!

-Deja Moo: I’ve heard your bullsht before.

-Here’s some glue, get your bullsht together.

-You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

-I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

-Children: you spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

-Mother’s of teens know why some animals eat their young.

-Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

-Grandchildren are God’s gift for not killing your kids.

-The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

-The statistics on insanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re ok then it’s you.

-Some people would say I suffer from insanity, but the truth is I enjoy every minute of it.

-Normal people worry me.

-I’ve lost my mind. If you see it by the side of the road please pick it up.

-Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.

-A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

-A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,” We screwed up, but we had fun.

-A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

-Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

-A good friend will take your drink away from you after you’ve had too much. A true friend will watch you spin in circles saying, “Drink up, you know we don’t waist this stuff.

-Good friends will ask you if you have any food. True friends are the reason you have no food.

-To the world you may be somebody, but to somebody you may be the world.

-Love is like the wind... you can’t see it, but you can feel it.

-Love is like war: easy to start, hard to end, and impossible to forget.

-Anyone who says, “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has never tried it.

-Always forgive your enemies, noting annoys them so much.

-You're just jealous 'cause the little voices in my head don't talk to YOU!

-My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

-Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an ass.

-Dear God...please make everyone die. Amen.

-It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to know someone, a day to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

-The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

-Oh him? He just has the most ah-dorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that will take your breath away and he has the ability to make you laugh when the world just wants you to frown.

-News from the file marked "DUH"

-Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. (I actually like rap, but this was just too funny not to include :P)

-Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

-Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

-Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

-All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

-I think you're breaking my Gay-dar

-Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

-Don't settle for the one person you can live with...wait for the one person you can't live without.

-My head is saying "Who cares?" but my heart is saying "You do stupid!"

-You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

-Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

-I'm one of those really bad things that happens to undeserving people.

-The problem with love is that you can love anyone you want, but so can he.

-It's funny--the people with the closed minds usually are the ones who open their mouths.

-Heaven doesn't want me there, and hell knows I'll take over.

-Perfection is nothing more than a mere dream.

-If pain is beauty, I must be fucking gorgeous.

-The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

-I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell until I met you.

-Best friend is ten letters. But then again, so is lying bitch.

-Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that moron up side the head!

-Don't lie. The government hates competition.

-I wear black because I'm mourning your existence.

-They may forget what you said, but they will never forget that feeling you gave them when you said it.

How to Annoy Voldy:

-Call him voldy. (Duh!)

-Ask him why he doesn’t have ‘Such a cool scar’

-Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him all he knows.

-Ask him when the last time he took a bath was.

-If you need to say ‘like taking candy from a baby’ make sure to add, ‘of course, some people find that harder than others.’ Then stare pointedly at him.

-Call him The-Man-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live.

QUOTES:

Harry Potter:

“Accio brain”- Ron (OoTP)

“Okay, who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?” James Potter (OoTP)

“Why spiders? Why couldn’t it be ‘Follow the butterflies’”- Ron (CoS)

“Come on Buckbeak, cone and get the nicer dead ferret”-Hermione (SS movie)

“He’s free, we did it”-Harry

“Did what?”-Dumbledore walks away whistling (PoA movie)

“Professor Lupin’s having a really tough night” –Harry Understatement (PoA movie)

“How did you get there? I was talking to you there, and now your there”-Ron

“What’s he talking about Harry?”-Hermione

“I don’t know, honestly Ron, how can someone be in two places at once?” –Harry

(PoA movie)

“Hiya Snivilly!”- James Potter in Return of the Father

Pirates of the Caribbean:

-Norrington: You are without a doubt the worst pirate I have ever heard of.

Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

(Later in the movie after Jack steals Interceptor)

-Officer: That’s got to be the best pirate I have ever seen.

Norrington: It would appear so

-Will Turner: Where’s Elizabeth?

Jack Sparrow: She’s safe, like I promised, she’s all set to marry Norrington, like she promised, and you get to die for her, like you promised, so we’re all men of our word really… Except for Elizabeth who is in fact a woman.

-Jack Sparrow: Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?

Twilight Series:

-Vampire's like Baseball?

-You're intoxicated by my vary presence

-Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

-You are utterly indecent! No one should look so tempting. It's not fair.

-Stupid shiny Volvo driver.

Related:

-OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

Quotes From People:

-"Happy Meals are good for hangovers, Water on the other hand is not." My Aunt Robyn

-"I'm just saying. Maelyn likes Brennan, Brennan likes Maelyn, Maelyn was out sick with strep, came back for two days, and now Brennan's out sick with strep. Just saying." Ms. Brant

-"Wal-Mart? Do they, like, sell walls there?" -- Paris Hilton

-I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. -- W.C. Fields

-The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. -- Somerset Maugham

-Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -- Dale Carnegie

-Is there even such a thing as insanity, or is it merely another form of prejudice towards those who are different?—Becca

-You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on--Dean Martin

-The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions and the road to heaven is just as bad, better just stick up your finger and say “screw it all”--Seth O. Blade

-“We all have someone we really love. That someone we would die for, that person that we care about more than anything, and even if they don’t love us back, were’ always there for them. Well, guess what, I love you.” -QuidditchGirl30

-“It’s ½ a horse, ½ an eagle… let’s call it a horseageagle!” –My really weird brother referring to Buckbeak.

Movie Quotes:

-"Tomorrow's not just tomorrow. It's like the future, y'know?" -- She’s All That

-"Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts." -- Naked Gun 2 ½

-"If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance."
---United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure

STORIES I FOUND AMUSING OR CUTE:

Why Not to Mess With Kids:

- A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".

-A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God.”The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.”Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute.”

-A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

-A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face..." "Yes," the class said." Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't empty."

-The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching!" Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

-One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a
classroom. The teacher was going to explain
evolution to the children. The teacher asked
a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree
outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass
outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see
if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes
later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see
God because he isn't there. Possibly he just
doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the
boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked
the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree
outside?
TOMMY: Yes. LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the
teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we
were taught today in school, she possibly
may not even have one!
(YOU GO GIRL!)

Smart Women:

- Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either," and storms out of the house.

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up.? She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING!)

-A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, ‘Mother of
Six’ in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready, ‘Father of Four’."

(OUCH!!)

He Said:

I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said:

You wear pants don't you?

(He deseved that)

Pick-up Lines:

-I ain't no Fred Flinstone, but I could make your bed rock!

-Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

-YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

-Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?