While I do not find nuclear holocaust funny, the dog's expression makes me laugh every time.

Different Past, Different Future chapter titles explanation

Chapter - Artist - Why I chose it

Ch 1: Cry for Eternity - Dragonforce - Tsunade cries while healing a wounded Naruto

Ch 2: Land of Confusion - Disturbed - Naruto wakes up in a different world where things don't make sense

Ch 3: Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley - Naruto is imprisoned under the Hokage tower

Ch 4: Float On - Modest Mouse - Shinsui has a very aloof way of doing things much to the chagrin of Naruto

Ch 5: Inside the Fire - Disturbed - Hashirama and Naruto meet the kyuubi

Ch 6: Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne - Naruto feels like he's losing his mind when he meets his new sensei

Ch 7: Thunderstruck - AC/DC - Shinsui spars with Naruto

Ch 8: Viva la Vida- Cold Play- Naruto earns the trust of his new team

Ch 9: Feel Good Inc- Gorillas- Naruto and the gang enjoy a nice dinner together

Ch 10: Psychosocial- Slipknot- The kyuubi shows Naruto who's in charge and just how evil he can be

Notes for Different Past, Different Future- Ch 8

Mukeru--to turn pages of a book

Nagazuni--a combination of the words Naga, which was said to be a half snake half human in India mythology, and the Zuni Native American tribe of the Southwest United States

Ryouyou--both ways

Kotetsu--iron

Emi--smile

Kobune--boat

Everybody's looking at my profile. Hi everybody!

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my profile. I consider my self to be a very funny guy. I am single right now (please ladies, control yourselves). I love reading funny, actiony, horror, and all around cool stories. I also enjoy reading/watching manga/anime. I also enjoy going to the movies and playing video games, mostly Halo 3, Call of Duty 4, Ninja Gaiden 2, GTA 4 or Gears of War 2. My Xbox Live name is Vorago Atrox.

I am currently beta-ing for DarthValgaav and 50caliberchaos. Their stories are pretty bad-ass so I highly recomend them if you want a good read.

I now have seven stories out and the first is a Naruto/Ghost Rider crossover and the second is Fun with Akatsuki, based on the flash by OmniStrife, the third is another crossover with Predator, the fourth is a time travel fic, the fifth is an AU where Madara goes with Team 7 back to Konoha after the Bridge Battle, the sixth is a AU Death Note, and the latest is how I think things went for the Senju brothers back before the founding of the Hidden Villages. I have great respect for writers everywhere. I never realized how difficult it was to write.

IMPORTANT: to my readers-please do not get discouraged if I do not update when I say I will do so. I am just really busy with school, work, and other things that torture teenagers.

xxx

Quotes I like

Other

"He’s the freaking God of Shinobi. You don’t get a title like that without being badass on a level even the badasses are in awe of." --Nugar, from ch 22 of his epic fanfic People Lie, talking about the third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi

-My friend Cody: (playing Oblivion) My horse is so bad ass. It can climb mountains. What about yours?

Me: Mine can breathe fire.

Cody:...Fuck.

-"And you know what... Joker is the kind of bad guy who genuinely scares me. He's a monster, not a villain, but a true monster. Heroes do what they do for the good of others. Villains do what they do for their own good. Monsters are a totally different creature. They do what they do simply for the sake of evil, and that is unnerving."--50caliberchaos

"Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards."--R.A. Dickson

"The world is a madhouse, so it's only right that it is patrolled by armed idiots."--Brendan Behan

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."--Mark Twain

"Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed."--Winston Churchill

"Before the Beginning of years,
There came to the making of man,
Time, with a gift of tears,
Grief, with a cup that ran,
Pleasure, with a pain of leaven,
Summer, with flowers that fell,
Remembrance, fallen from heaven,
And Madness risen from hell,
Strength, without hands to smite,
Love, that endures for a breath,
Night, the shadow of light,
And Death, the shadow of life."

"I have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade,
When Spring comes back with rustling shade
And apple-blossoms fill the air—
I have a rendezvous with Death
When Spring brings back blue days and fair.

It may be he shall take my hand
And lead me into his dark land
And close my eyes and quench my breath—
It may be I shall pass him still.
I have a rendezvous with Death
On some scarred slope of battered hill,
When Spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow-flowers appear.

God knows 'twere better to be deep
Pillowed in silk and scented down,
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
Where hushed awakenings are dear...
But I've a rendezvous with Death
At midnight in some flaming town,
When Spring trips north again this year,
And I to my pledged word am true,
I shall not fail that rendezvous."

-"Asato ma sad gamaya
(From delusion lead me to truth)

Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
(From darkness lead me to light)

Mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
(From death lead me to immortality)."--Juno Reactor, Navras, song from The Matrix

"Go placidly among the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence."

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."

"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate."

"Who knows what true loneliness is -- not the conventional word but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion."

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it."

"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

From Donnie Darko

Donnie: What's the point of living if you don't have a dick? (talking about the Smurfs)

Grandma Death: Every living thing dies alone.

From The Dark Knight

Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

The Joker: Why...so...serious?

Gambol: to The Joker Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table
The Joker: I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who slams his face into the pencil and kills him
The Joker: Ta-daa! It's... it's gone.

The Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

Alfred Pennyworth:Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

The Joker: You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.
The Joker: Maybe we can share one. They'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.

The Joker: to Det. Stephens Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little... emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?

The Joker: I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push.

Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...the dark knight.

Joker: to Batman We really should stop fighting, we'll miss the fireworks!

The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!

The Joker: See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve.

The Joker: See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite...and gunpowder...and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!

The Joker: speaking to Two-Face Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth.
It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and uh, look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that like a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all, part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!
Joker hands Two-Face a gun and points it at himself Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.
with the gun in Two-Face's hand, Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin
Two-Face: showing the unscarred side You live.
The Joker: Mm-hmm.
Two-Face: flips, showing the scarred side You die.
The Joker: Mmm, now we're talking.

From 300

Xerxes: There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories! Every piece of Greek parchment shall be burned. Every Greek historian, and every scribe shall have their eyes pulled out, and their tongues cut from their mouths. Why, uttering the very name of Sparta, or Leonidas, will be punishable by death! The world will never know you existed at all!
King Leonidas: The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed.

Persian: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.

King Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness...?
shouting
King Leonidas: This is Sparta!

King Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!

King Leonidas: This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!

From Independence Day

President Thomas Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

Captain Steven Hiller: (talking to the unconscious alien he's dragging) Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad...
(yells) and what the hell is that smell? (starts kicking the alien, yelling) I could've been at a barbecue! (kicks the alien one last time and calms down) But I ain't mad.

From V for Vendetta

V: What was done to me was monstrous.
Evey Hammond: And they created a monster.

V: I told you, only truth. For 20 years, I sought only this day. Nothing else existed... until I saw you. Then everything changed. I fell in love with you Evey. And to think I no longer believed I could.
Evey Hammond: But I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me.

V: (Evey pulls out her mace) I can assure you I mean you no harm.
Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
(carves V into poster on wall)
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
(giggles)
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey Hammond: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I am quite sure they will say so. But to whom, might I ask, am I speaking with?
Evey Hammond: I'm Evey.
V: Evey? E-V. Of course you are.
Evey Hammond: What does that mean?
V: It means that I, like God, do not play with dice and I don't believe in coincidences.

V: It is to Madame Justice that I dedicate this concerto, in honor of the holiday that is sadly no longer remembered, and in recognition of the impostor that stands in her stead. Tell me Evey, do you know what day it is?
Evey Hammond: Um, November the 4th.
V: (midnight church bells ring) Not anymore. Remember, remember the 5th of November. The gunpowder, treason, and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

V: But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty you need only look into a mirror.

V: ...A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world.

V: (Quoting Macbeth from Macbeth Act I Scene 7) I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.

V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

V: There's no certainty - only opportunity.

xxx

MSN Homer Simpson Article

When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.

There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.

Kids are like monkeys, only louder.

If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, super intelligent slug named Dennis.

You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.

You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.

You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.

There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.

There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.

Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.

Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.

I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.

I never ate an animal I didn't like.

A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.

I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.

Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.

Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.

When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet.

I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.

Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.

My favorite color is chocolate.

Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.

The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.

If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?

I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger.

Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants.

When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers.

I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.

When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep.

What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?

xxx

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.