Author has written 11 stories for Star Wars, and Harry Potter.

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Meet the Author

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First of all: the pen name. In no way am I photogenic. Neither in any way am I Frodo, although I am almost short enough. Further in not any way whatsoever do I read/write LOTR fiction, although I love all things Tolkien. Basically, I just thought it would make a suitably witty pen name. It's sort of like football—the name is completely irrelevant to what actually happens. :)

I am a college senior (therefore you should expect slow updates). Specialties are the Middle East and Biblical Literature. I have never lived in any one home longer than four years, I paint and draw, I play classical piano (don’t hold your breath for my upcoming appearance at Carnegie Hall), and I took Ancient Hebrew FOR FUN. You heard me. Furthermore, I play a wicked game of foosball.

My writing tends toward the humorous, with a healthy dose of drama/action/adventure, and the occasional foray into the poetic (see At the End). I'd say my strengths center on dialogue and character. I do not write slash. You are guaranteed that I will show proper respect to the English language, observing all standards of correct spelling and grammar, even if I occasionally take deliberate artistic liberties. :)

Much love and a whole set of adorable Jedi Youngling dolls to my beta and friend, Mathematica.

I'm criminally lazy, so I'm putting my general disclaimer of non-ownership here. I am not George Lucas. I bear no discernible resemblance to George Lucas. I did not even dress up as George Lucas for Halloween. It is entirely possible that I am allergic to flannel. I am a nut spending my time writing stories that will make me absolutely nothing and cost me GPA points. Terribly sorry to disappoint you all...

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Meet What She Authored

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Completed

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At The End: A oneshot set during the climactic scene of ROTJ. This piece is very different from my usual writing style, and is intentionally ambiguous. Just to clarify--At the End is told from Vader/Anakin's point of view, although hopefully for most of the first half or so you can also read it as being from Luke's POV. That's the intent, because what inspired this piece was my perception that Palpatine's words could be spoken just as accurately to Anakin as to Luke Skywalker. That's why I avoided using any proper names. But to help make things clearer, any time "he" or "him" is in italics, it's referring to Luke.

Red’s the New Black: This is a short Harry Potter humor fic set during GOF, canon-compliant, involving Harry, Snape, an assortment of mischievous Weasleys, Hermione, DH spoilers, and a frenetic talking bracelet. If it isn't hilarious, well, I tried. :)

The Harrowing of Hermione Granger: On permanent hiatus.

Have a Nice Trip: My second oneshot, also inspired by the last part of ROTJ. Whereas At the End is aspiring art, this is shameless slapstick. Wrote it more or less in one sitting and thought, well, why not post it? Somebody might get a kick out of it...

Imperial Edict No. 1138: A humor longshot. You know all those things you love to hate about fan fiction? Bad grammar, mangled names, Mary Sue? If you've ever detested any of those, this story is for you. This guide to writing Imperially-approved fan fiction was inspired by the wonderfully therapeutic rant we had on the L/V Writers Board about the most annoying things in fan fiction, as well as Mathematica's "A Letter From the Force."

To Turn to the Dark Side, Press Three: A five-chapter humor story about Anakin's health insurance woes following the loss of his arm in AOTC. Written because if anything is guaranteed to make you turn to the Dark Side, it's HMOs. If you've ever listened to an automated phone menu and hated it, this story is dedicated to you. Inspired by real-life experiences trying to get my shoulders fixed.

The Care and Handling of Professor Snape: A Twenty-Five Point Guide for First Years: The title is almost longer than the actual story...and, basically, the title says it all. This was a part of another plot bunny that was too convoluted to ever merit publication. Essentially, it's another one of those "ways to annoy" lists, dressed up with a little more class, I hope. Nothing spectacular, but you should get at least a snicker from it, plus it only takes maybe a minute of your time.

Lord Vader’s Limpet: Vader survives ROTJ and subsequently gets lost in the Unknown Regions for twenty-five years. When he returns, the Empire has fallen, the New Republic is in swing, and he has a new role to play: Grandpa. A fluffily humorous longshot involving Vader and two-year-old Ben Skywalker, with cameos from several of the usual suspects. L/V fans will probably enjoy.

We Happy Few: Of twelve pilots in Red Squadron, two survived the Battle of Yavin. Luke Skywalker and Wedge Antilles get to know one another a bit better in the aftermath. Mostly just my own musing about what Luke and Wedge might have experienced immediately after ANH, once the jubilation wore off. Title taken from Shakespeare's play Henry V. Unlike most of what I write, there's little to no humor here. My favorite piece.

Far More Than Rubies: For all of you who, like me, loved the Force Bond series to death, and wished there was a similar story about Luke and Padme, look no further. Padme survives ROTS and six years later is reunited with Luke in a general mishmash of humor, drama, tragedy, angst, fluff, and action/adventure. It's a more tightly and intentionally written story than The Father. Possible sequels lurk in the wings (see my list of future fics), but are waiting their turn.

Inbox: A humor collaboration fic, co-edited/written with my never-to-be-sufficiently-praised beta Mathematica, which you will find posted on her profile (check my favorite authors tab for the link). The chapters featuring Palpatine, Boba Fett, and Jabba are from yours truly.

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Ongoing: One full-length story.

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The Father: It's sort of Star Wars Remixed--you'll find many of the same themes, events, characters, and so on, put together in different and hopefully creative ways. Features Luke, Vader, Han, and Leia, with nearly everyone else jumping in along the way: the Lars, Obi-Wan, Lando Calrissian, Wedge Antilles, Bail and Breha Organa, Yoda, Boba Fett, the Emperor, Captain Piett, Artoo, Threepio, Ferus Olin, and so on, with cameos from Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, Admiral Ozzel, Jan Dodonna, and probably any number of others, and a handful of original characters. AU, obviously.

I forewarn you, updates are extremely sporadic. I write this story as it comes to me, but Darth Real Life has been spectacularly evil this year and my Muse was last seen hiding in a jungle in the Amazon. Be also forewarned that IT IS LONG. Let me put it this way--it now stands at around 440 pages in MS Word. SINGLE SPACE. Finishing this baby is my number-one fan fic priority now, but it's going to take a lot of time to hunt down my blasted Muse.

UPDATE: We have progress! As of now, I've developed a rough outline of the rest of the plot. So: good news is, I finally know where I'm going with this story. Bad news is, the outline is three pages single space, which translates to a LOT of writing left to do. I probably won't begin posting chapters until I'm certain of the plot and the details, which means that I'm probably going to want to have the entire rest of the story at least drafted before I begin posting chapters. Again, no promises on when the next update will actually arrive, as everything depends on whether I have time to write. But at least I've broken the writer's block. :)

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Future

Malfoys, Muggles, and Mayhem: During the summer before fourth year, Draco discovers that he has been signed up for Muggle Studies. Summer assignment: a one-week visit in the Muggle home of a fellow Hogwarts student. And if Draco is unhappy about this, that's nothing compared to how the Dursleys feel...A humor short story solidly in progress.

Sibling Revelry: Darth Vader discovers he is the father of twins a bit sooner than in the OT. Darth Vader also receives an intelligence report claiming that Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa are a bit, erm, closer than previously suspected. Obviously, this does not go over well. Will be a humor short story…eventually…

I Won’t Leave You: Yet another end-of-ROTJ oneshot. This is an older plot bunny, intended to be a complementary piece to At The End, from Luke's point of view. Nothing to it yet except a synopsis and some jotted-down ruminations.

Driving Lord Vader: A potential longshot set in the same AU as Lord Vader's Limpet. Humor-focused, features Vader and a 16-year-old Anakin Solo. Several pages written, but presently rather stuck.

Children of the Desolate: a sequel to Far More Than Rubies. Four years after escaping Vader in Kuat, Padme finds herself beset by challenges: penning anonymous manifestos against the Empire, trying to organize the rebel resistance groups into a single movement, and--most dauntingly of all--trying to raise a very curious ten-year-old Skywalker boy singlehandedly. Meanwhile, Vader is still on the hunt for his escaped prisoners, and a certain Alderaanian princess encounters a number of interesting people during a humanitarian trip to Dantooine... Since this would be a major, full-length story, it's waiting its turn in line behind The Father, and I may or may not have the time I need to finish it in the future. Right now, I've just done some tentative planning as to basic plots, character developments, and interaction. It's a long way off, if I ever get there.

As with Far More Than Rubies, the proposed title comes from a Biblical quote, in this case Isaiah 51:1 and 6--“‘Sing, O barren woman…because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,’ says the LORD…The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected…”

Untitled: A plot bunny graciously donated by Mathematica. Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa both die at Yavin IV; Vader doesn't discover the significance of this until afterwards. It will probably be a full-length story focusing on Vader with Han Solo, Obi-Wan, and Misc. thrown in. I will not, however, start this story until The Father is well and truly complete. I may not even write it then, since sequels to Far More Than Rubies would take precedence.

The Mary Sue Compendium: Another humor collab fic w/ Mathematica. Because we both hate Mary Sue. But really, who doesn't? I haven't started writing anything for this one yet. Too many other things to do...