|Your Undying Fan|
Author has written 7 stories for Red Eye, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Harry Potter, and Twilight.
Funny thing about being resurrected from the metaphorical fanfiction dead is that I find my profile boring. So I'm editing it! Although, saying that I'm editing it really has no purpose, and has no need to be said at all, because, if you're reading this, you wouldn't know that it was anything other than what it is now.
So that entire paragraph is, in fact, pointless. It should not exist. It has no reason to exist. Yet it does...fascinating...
I'm going to go ahead and revoke those statements, they don't need to be here. They have no place on this profile page. I could fix the whole situation and erase them, but I would feel bad. It'd be like destroying words. I brought them into existence. They've expanded past my original purpose for them, grown into their own beings. I no longer have a right to brutally end their poor, wordy existence.
Instead, I'll write more words about the words that have no purpose; therefore, I have created yet more useless information! It's a never-ending circle. Who knows where it will end? Who even knows where it began?
Because of me, we are now stuck. I will forever be writing words that mean nothing about words that mean nothing, based around points and thoughts that should never have been born in the first place. And you, reader, will forever be reading words that mean nothing about words that mean nothing. My, I have created a horrible situation, haven't I?
I suppose I should apologize. I really had no idea this would happen when I began writing this. I honestly thought I would make a simple opening statement, then proceed to name a few favorite books and authors. It would've been something mundane and simple, like "My name is Cassie, and I like chocolate cheesecake and Audrey Niffenegger." It would've been harmless, really. But instead I've created this massacre!
There's nothing simple about this! This is...this is...simply terrifying!
Now, there's a statement to ponder over. "Simply terrifying."
Let's dissect it, shall we?
Is anything terrifying ever simple? If it's terrifying, then obviously it has some complex, other-meaning to the person it is scaring the living daylights out of. If it's terrifying, there is some complicated back story as to why it is terrifying in the first place. It can't be terrifying simply because it is! There always has to be a reason!
For example, I find dirty socks to be particularly terrifying. Not simply terrifying, because there is nothing simple about it.
You see, dirty socks are dirty because they have spent the day on someone's feet. The feet spend the day on the floor collecting dirt and germs and other nasties that I would rather not discuss too in depth (you see, I find dirt and germs and other nasties terrifying). And then...
I do believe I have gotten off track.
Where was I? Oh, bother. I have done it again! I have created more pointless nonsense! I should just stop. You'll never get the gist of who I am at this point! I have explained nothing! I have told you nothing! I have created a mass of words and thoughts that should have never existed, and strung you along for no particular reason. I have just failed. I have failed me. I have failed you. I have failed this profile! For I have not written a profile at all.
I have not given you any idea as to who I am. I should just stop. Maybe cry in a corner.
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