There's no beans in my profile.

Name: I don't know, could you tell me? (-:

Age: -jeopardy theme-

Notes on stories further down, biznatch.

I have to be careful of what I say. I could be mur-dered.

http://flame.lovely-disaster.net/main.html

42.7 percent of all statictics are made up on the spot.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile. Going "Fuuuuudge!" does not automatically make you funny. The sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be.

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, why did you even make this siggy? I got this from Adverk.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you don't believe this. Also from Adverk. 92 percent is ridiculous (nice try, though). Actually, so is 98 percent for a couple of my others, but I digress.

Just because we can eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, meat (well, not meat), etc... Copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is unique, which is bad because everyone else is saying they're unique and that's not weird.

If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm so glad I (yes, it was me, bow down) put forth this copy and paste thing... I hope it gets around.

If you consider yourself a rocker (we're talking about not necessarily making your own music, but being a rocker at heart) copy and paste this into your profile. I love rock music but I can't play an instrument for my life. Is that a crime?

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, then do I ever feel bad for you.

If you like chocolate, find me someone who doesn’t.

If you realize that this ain't a scene, it's an arms race, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize Empire Records didn't suck, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you watch CSI, copy and paste this into your profile to join the "I Hate Keppler" club.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you've ever looked at the backs of heads that were previously your friends, copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

BYAKUGAN!

If you're a pervert, stick it there.

234567890
These are numbers. Copy and paste these cute numbers into your profile to help them gain world domination.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

FIC NOTES

Chapter Fics:

TreeClan: For anyone who's a fan of my little TreeClan series, there is a oneshot called The Twenty Truths of TreeClan. Check it out. I'll probably write more 20 truths for other fandoms. Anyways, Rattail is clearly up to something, with his little buddies who all used to be FlowerClan cats. And we have no idea what Yellowpelt is thinking. Well, I should, but I don't.

UPDATE: Deeply sorry, but it's starting to look like writer's block has won... for now. I may rewrite it when I have time.

Where Do I Belong: It's over, people. Ray died. It's sad, but it happens.

Der XParody: With the Brotherhood trying to be X-Men, who knows what chaos will happen? The parody carries on...with little to no light of any actual plot. But if that ticked you off, you would've stopped reading it a long time ago! Next up: Pietro and his newly put together band of weirdos (not the Brotherhood, but a whole new gaggle of freaks from various groups) do Hollywood to get the secret ingredient to Pietro's special recipes: discarded American Idol contestants!

UPDATE: On hiatus until I figure out a graceful way to end it. It's totally jumped the shark as of late.

UPDATE UPDATE: There is no graceful way. Consider it finished. Maybe I'll put up an official ending sometime.

Who Wants To Stay Sane: We're reaching the end of the fic, and a lot of the members are slowly being pushed toward insanity. If they go all the way over the edge... DISQUALIFICATION! But how can they not be with... "Ed: Wielder of the Scythe"?

UPDATE: Hiatus. BUT! Being pursued again. So yayyy.

Bad Day: Pulled off the site. Sorry. But I'm just going to have to start from scratch, with a set storyboard before writing this time. And again, sorry, but it will be a while before I can post it.

UPDATE: REWRITE BEING PLANNED

The Betrayal: The writer avatarjk137 (I think there's a link to him somewhere on this page) has just finished the sequel for The Betrayal. It's entitled "Shadowboxing", and is very obviously in the Invader Zim section where it belongs. Isn't that an awesome title? And avatarjk137 is currently putting together the storyboard for the third installment of the series. It involves an infamous bounty hunter group of OCs who are after Kloof and are willing to do whatever it takes (and go through whoever it takes) to get to him.

UPDATE: avatarjk137 has gotten far with this. He will soon be working on the fourth installment of the fic series, and has rewritten the first installment in his own words: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690156/1/The_Betrayal_Rewritten

The Beauty Elite: The Pretty Committee promises to show this new group that messing with their alpha status will get your social status beaten to the ground until it's begging for mercy. But these girls are going out kicking and screaming and may pull a few more hair extensions loose than Massie thought they would. Up next: The Pretty Committee AND the Beauty Elite are meeting a famous band at the same time! And both groups are sure that whoever wins will be laughing all the way to the alpha spot, and will act as nasty as needed to ensure that they do...

UPDATE: Hiatus. Sorry. Awaiting rewrite (and towards the bottom of the list).

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Fanfic: The first one is done... and the sequel is posted and finished! Look further down for notes on "This Ain't a Scene, It's a Fanfic".

UPDATE: It's been reported. And unless the admins start pulling reported stories again, I really don't give a crap.

CSI: That Other Place: My random parody will daze and confuse you if you try to read it and make any sense of it. It's just making fun of everything, and a lot of jokes really aren't related to CSI or CSI: Miami. At all. The case is being worked on...but the employees are probably doing more harm than good.

On permanent hiatus, as I basically ran out of jokes.

This Ain't A Scene, It's A Fanfic: FINISHED! Basic overview: Pete, Patrick, Joe, and Andy find themselves literally fighting for survival against The Baron's former (most powerful) lieutenant, Sorel, and his merry band of vampire bikers (including his fair share of intimidating officers). But the whole fic throughout will reveal new characters, who survives, who dies, who pays a special visit, and who gets another chance to live.

I Wouldn't Eat That If I Were You: Game show style fic. Self-explanatory. "Ed, Edd, n' Eddy" versus "The Powerpuff Girls" is finished! Right now: "Invader Zim" versus "South Park" with your guest host, David Spade! Next: Dethklok versus Gorillaz, the ultimate animated band showdown.

Ask the Pretty Committee: A fanfic where you go and ask the Pretty Committee whatever has been ailing your mind, or any other reason you have for asking them! Special guest stars every chapter.

COMPLETED

Heroes in a Chatroom: My stupid, pointless, yet somehow very successful "Heroes" fic where all our favorite characters are chatting in, of course, an internet chatroom. My favorite thing to do was the screennames.

UPDATE: Hiatus. Sorry, guys, I haven't been watching.

The Cartoon Hollywood: My "Roger Rabbit"-esque fic in which the Eds have to find happiness and work after their cancellation in their town of Cartoon Hollywood. Depression, impulses, a need to please, a crippling infatuation, good friends and bad tabloid employees all add their own two cents as far as character development goes.

COMPLETED

The Take Over, The Fanfic's Over: The third and final installment in the "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me" series. In this series, Pete, Patrick, Joe and Andy have finally found a cure for vampirism. The trouble with that is, they have to go on a road trip to get some rare ingredients. The trouble with THAT? They're being chased by enemies from every direction, from a bunch of strange bounty hunters to a group of vampiric government agents, from a spooky professional vampire slayer to a vengeful sibling, from one angry gang leader and his companions to a loopy blonde and her friends (who aren't actually enemies, just annoying). And on top of everything, is this cure all the untrustworhty priest says it is, and will they get it in time before Pete's bloodlust gets the better of him?

UPDATE: COMPLETED

But You Can't Blame Me For Hating It: (The Clique) Five years later, Westchester has been gutted by an invasion... of vampires. The Pretty Committee is the town's leading group of vampire-hunting vigilantes, determind to use the physical skill they've developed over the years to prevent their town from becoming a forgotten bunch of burnt timber. But how will this all play out when the (former) Briarwood boys (vampires themselves) have a love for attacking them and Massie is too a 'creature of the night'? 'Limited time' fic. Only going to be a few chapters.

Yes, before you ask, it WAS inspired by the FOB vid.

UPDATE: Hiatus.

Cartoon House: (Cartoon X-Over - cartoon parody of Animal House) At Miyazaki College, fun-loving Chihiro House is fending off attempts to bring them down from nasty old Dean Father and uptight Totoro House. They're certainly not going down without a toga-clad fight!

UPDATE: LAST CHAPTER COMING SOON!

Teenagers (Working Title): (Cartoon X-overs) High school sucks, especially for those who can't stand up for themselves. It's these poor souls that Eddy, with his fellow Eds in tow, was inspired to start his business for humiliating the jerks that make life hell for the less assertive ones. Overly eager Tomo Takino enters by force with her friends, but despite that, everything is going fine until everything seems to go into mass meltdown. Eddy and Tomo are forced to decide if they want to put out the fire or go out with a bang, before they crash and burn and take their friends with them.

The Annual Faber Athletics Festival: (Animal House) Fencing! Dodgeball! Tug-of-war! Pissing off Neidermeyer! THE SPORTS OF KINGS! Watch your fave Deltas, Omegas, and some stupid extras from other random houses duke it out for the grand prize!

The Job Search: (Animal House) Katy makes Boon get a job, and his Delta brothers follow his lead. They're the employees you never wanted!

Oneshots:

Inside: Another twenty truths style fic, but now it's MegaTokyo! Miho centered, people. I like Miho.

About how Miho has been rethinking her big bad habit and her broken promises to herself. Largo, Piro, Ping, Junko... why are they the cause of so much emotion? Maybe it's time for Miho to stop playing with them... if only it wasn't so fun.

Kind of angsty, and a little humorous at the same time.

Ahhh... the twenty truths style. I like it. A lot. The je ne sais quoi of it.

UPDATE: It has recently come to my attention that this isn't very good. Maybe one day I'll rewrite it. Probably not.

Twenty Small, Shy Truths: "Boom Boom Sabotage" oneshot. Sagecentric. Angsty.

School sucks, family sucks, feelings suck, and so do Sage's skills... in his mind, at least. The only thing keeping him happy is something (or someone) already taken. Razor-blade supplied release doesn't work... so just push 'em back and see how long...

And let's check the data, shall we? Hmmm... yep... let's see now... I was right! I'm STILL all alone for this section! (-cries-) I feel so... ALONE. Alone with this computer-animated emo.

The Things I've Learned From House: Just a "Things I Learned" style fic for "House, M.D.". I don't think I'll add another chapter at the moment, but hey, who knows. I still can't believe I forgot "Everybody lies". Idiotic me.

The Things I've Learned From Empire Records: Another "things I learned" style fic for my fave movie, "Empire Records". Again, I doubt it will have a second chapter, but things work in mysterious ways.

Truths of a Craver: Yet another "Twenty Truths" style oneshot to add to my repertoire. This time for "Heroes"... for Sylar, in particular.

Why doesn't anybody understand? Why don't they TRY? Why is my view so hard to take in, so easy to ignore?

And why do I look at the brains?

It's half-angst, half-humor. It's one of my personal faves... just because I love Sylar so much... and I think it's just one of my best oneshots.

I Sing The Blues And Swallow Them Too: (Cartoon X-Over fic) Oh, depression! Loneliness! Lost loves! Woe! Failure! But that it is the business, showww business, and everyone else feels the same way you do. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, no matter how enticing that kitchen may seem. (This was a challenge oneshot... it has no dialogue. Kind of difficult, but I guess it was good practice for narration.)

Wait: (The Clique) How long would Claire be waiting? (Massie + Claire friendship AU, starts out kinda angsty but has a happy ending.)

No Such Luck: (The Clique) You'd never think it from this alpha girl, but all she really wants is a night with her family on a holiday. But can they give her that as easily as they can give her a credit card? No such luck. (Oneshot, angsty, Massiecentric.)

RedRedRed: (The Clique) Claire will try anything to get over Cam, but will do even more to avoid the vision of little red marks dance through her head. (Oneshot, angsty, Clairecentric.)

33 Things You Didn't Know About the Faber Collegians: (National Lampoon's Animal House) Ever stop to think... why Neidermeyer is such an asshole? Why Otter is such a ladies' man? What branch Marmalard truly swings from? And just what the hell is up with D-Day anyway? Screw too much information; forget it, we're rolling!

(Partially angst, partially humor, Twenty Truths style but came out to be more than twenty.)

The Tutor: (Animal House) Hoover decides to take charge and leads a study session in attempt to raise the Deltas' GPAs. It's going fine until the Deltas act like, of course, Deltas - how the hell could it possibly last long anyway? And an overly intrusive Chip Diller doesn't help matters.

Berry Picking: (Animal House) After all is said and done, that's all they really ask for. All that really makes them happy. (Boon/Otter friendship, character analyzation.)

Minor Blip: (Animal House) Boon breaks it off with Katy. He opens up to Otter how he feels he lost the only person who could ever truly and deeply care for him. Otter proves him wrong. (Mild slash)

Invader Number Lucas: (Empire Records) Marc and Eddie have to come to the realization that Lucas cannot be human. They take it upon themselves to figure out just what he is.

Testing: (The Clique) Massie wants a robot that was a little more human, if you get what she means. Like a human, with flaws. Glitches, if you will. (Weird, AU, Derrington/Massie, oneshot. Sci-fi-y.)

Seat (Cartoon X-Over)

Mine Now (Cartoon X-Over)

DRABBLES:

Didn't Used To Get This Snow in Orlando (The Clique, drabble)

Can't Stop (The Clique, drabble)

Here Come the Bombs (The Clique, drabble)

Holiday (The Clique, drabble)

Wake Up Call (Animal House)

All these Things That I've Done (Animal House, drabble)

London Beckoned Songs About Money By Machines (Animal House, drabble)

House of Wolves (Animal House, drabble)

Fics Planned for the Future:

Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?: (The Clique/Animal House X-over) Massie, Claire, Dylan, Alicia, and Kristen are bringing their fab selves to Faber College. Leaving behind their exes, high school following, parents, part of their common sense, most of their bloodlust for alpha power, and most of Massie's Glossip Girl collection, they face serious questions... is it possible to find love in a house full of failures when the Pretty Committee's been all about success? What part of her old relationship with Cam does Claire carry in to her principles for relationships? Is fraternizing with the enemy really worth it? Can you find true love in the world's biggest polygamist? Is being involved in all the drama just for the sake of not being left out worth it? Will Massie Block finally go too far? And can anyone remember what their major is anyway?

(Estimated release: Unknown)

Mental (WORKING TITLE): Light Yagami is sent to a "mental recuperation" house after an incident with his family. He barely has time to adjust his advanced yet unwell mind before quickly catching on to some dark motives of the people assigned to care for them. Since he is the light and savior of this house and humanity, he takes it upon himself to bring justice to the shady staff... with both the help and hindering of a "crazy man" reputation as well as equally (or more) crazy housemates.

(Estimated release: Spring '09)

Price Tag 2 (Working Title): Dante and Randall are new in town and take up bounty hunting as a second job. Problems arise, as it turns out to be a harder job than they thought, and are not exactly welcomed into the bounty hunting community.

(E.R.: SOON! Watch for it!)