Basically, I'm a young female yaoi fan from the UK who loves Naruto, Gravitation and Death Note. I hate work and love sleeping, and I have been compared to Shikamaru by my mum and sister, although they say I have a hint of Tsunade in me. As Headraline put it: scary. Don't worry, though; I don't bite. Well, not unless you want me to...

In real life, I'm weird, to put it bluntly. I know some people say "Oh, I'm insane, I'm not normal yadda yadda yadda" when actually they really want to be insane, and aren't. Whereas I want to be normal, but happen to be...eccentric. I nibble my fingers until they bleed, although I never touch the nails, I'm a hypochondriac, I'm reclusive and anti-social (my only friends are people I talk to on the internet), I'm a perfectionist to the point of psychoneurosis, I hate dogs and I have no idea why Gordon Brown in Prime Minister, and I frequently assert my opinion on that matter. Loudly and publicly with no embarrassment whatsoever. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, dear readers.

I'm a Capricorn and I love eating fish, so long as it isn't squid or eels or octopus. Which doesn't make sense anyway, since they aren't fish, but people refer to them as such, so...meh, whatever. My ambition is to become a Barrister, which will take 4 years on a law degree at university. Wish me luck!

If you still want to talk to me after reading this...you're as bloody weird as me. So feel free to send me an email and we can talk. It would be refreshing to know that there are others like me out there.

One last thing: look up Yaoilovergirl and read her fics A Little Bit Of Peace And Quiet and Fateful Days. Because she's good, and she's not getting the respect she deserves!

Oh, and I hate Twilight, but I'll happily read Edward/Jacob. I know, I'm strange.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, TenshiXXX

WHAT I HATE IN FANFICTION:

Non-virgin/manwhore Neji

Bumbling Shikamaru

Girly Naruto

Bitch!Sakura

Mary Sues/ Gary Stus

Extreme OOCness of main characters

Evil Itachi

Over-use of Japanese, bar the use of suffixes

Poor formatting

Self-insertion

Review whores ("I won't update unless I get X amount of reviews")

Seme!Neji

Good guys/antiheros raping people

Stupid author notes about how it's your first fanfic, so please be nice. (Suck it up. I never used this excuse, so neither should you)

Flawless characters. (Nobody's perfect. It just makes a fanfic flat and dull. Without imperfections, there's no conflict, leading to a pretty crappy fanfic. Even genius Shikamaru needs to piss people off with his laziness and complaining.)

Cutter!Naruto

The good guys as bad guys.

Cliches without new spins. (I don't mind if you write a high school fic. Just make the plot your own, OK?)

Predictable stories

Hyper Sasuke (Unless the massacre never happened).

Describing a character's clothes in ever single scene ("He was wearing a crimson kimono with doves on it, his hair tied back in an elegant chignon..." Half a chapter later "He was clad in a golden kimono with a pair of lilac cranes" etc. I don't mind every now and again throughout a fic. But it gets old after a while, guys)

Author Notes in the middle of the story

Weak Gaara. (The guy was his country's weapon. He's not a defenceless little bitch.)

A character who is sought after by all the "semes"/harem fic (e.g/ "Who will win the hand of the blond kitsune? SasuNaru, ItaNaru, NejiNaru, GaaNaru, KibaNaru.." You might as well stick GaiNaru in there aswell and be done with it. He's the only one not getting a piece of the action)

Slutty!ukes (Does Neji look like the type to let just anyone screw him? He has standards as tall as Hokage Monument with that ego!)

Good summary, shitty fic, and vice versa.

Not writing the pairing correctly (It's seme/uke. I don't want to read a fic I think is SasuNeji, only to find out that Neji's a dominant pimp and Sasuke's his little bitch -_-)

English names for OCs (I hate OCs in the first place, but this is bordering on ridiculous. With the exception of "exchange student" stories, this is unjustifiable. It's not hard to find Japanese names on the internet, you know.)

Excessive fluff

Unrealistic fics (Make sure your fic isn't completely outlandish. Sure, a lot of animes are unbelievable. However, people need to keep a fic within the parametres of what is believable within that particular anime world. For example, having Naruto with the power of a hokage when he was 6 years old is just plain stupid.)

Snarry, Snaco, and all other pairings with Snape, save Snupin, as long as I don't have to read any detail -_-

Non-virgin/manwhore Draco

Pathetic Harry

Dark Lord Harry (I don't mind him dark, I just get a little annoyed when he tries to do what Voldy did)

Ron/Hermione bashing

Draco cheating

Past Draco/Blaise (Urgh, so cliche and I hate that pairing anyway)

Dramione (Just writing that makes me feel dirty)

The whole "OMG, I'm gay, what do I do, everyone will hate me, I can't be gay, I need a wife and kids and a dog and a white picket fence!" freak out.

Ron/anyone but Hermione

Near/Halle (shudders)

Manwhore Mello

Bottom!Light/Raito

Weak L (As in, he can't fight for himself at all. I don't like infallible L, either. How else could Light get him into bed?)

Misa

L and Light the Shinigami

There will be more as time goes on. As you can see, I have a lot of peeves, so it can probably be counted as an achievement for me to like your fics. I'll add more when I think of them.

UPDATE 15/06/09: My exams will be finishing on 16th June (tomorrow), which means I will have the whole of the summer free to write. This means that I will finally get around to fixing Raven, Arduous Dilemma and Toritsuki. I'll start with Toritsuki. All chapters will be taken down, and a revised version of the first chapter will be posted. I'll try to rotate between the fics until I get back up to speed. I hope this will satisfy the poor people I have forced to wait. It should be worthwhile.