I NEED TO UPDATE THIS RUDDY THING.

I have twin sons. One son is a werewolf, the other son is the lead singer in a rock group. When the moon was full you couldn't tell them apart

Hey, everyone! I'm Bad Luck Bree! Yes, I know, it's the pirate name from my story, but heck, I love it!

Also known as Dame Bree of the Noble and Most Esteemed Order of the Towel

One thing you HAVE to understand about me...I'm totally in love with Davy Jones from PotC, and in love as in 'I wear his key around my neck at all times and drool over his pic in my PotC calendar'...so...yeah, be prepared for squiddy fangirlism. I'm also a person who gets obsessed easily. I doubted I would ever find a lifelong obsession, but I HAVE!! DAVY JONES!! Do NOT insult him in front of me, or I will find you and personally rip your eyes out, cut your nose off, cut out your tongue and feed it to you, saw your arms off, shove splinters up your toenails, and then I will personally poison your food! Ahem...now that that's all done...I'm going to go vent on my Will Turner-shaped punching bag.

Ok, a few things about me. I LOOOOOVE PotC, Zelda, Redwall, Warriors, LotR, Castaways of the Flying Dutchman and Narnia. I also love horses, dogs, anything outdoors, hunting, archery, running, writing (obviously enough), drawing, acting, playing guitar and reading. I'd love for ye to write reviews on my stories! I like to hear from fellow writers! Oh, an' no army bashin'! My bro is in the military.

Other things: I am VERY proud of my heritage. I am Texan, thus I am Southern. I am of heavily Scottish descent on one side, and of heavily German descent on another side. Thus, I am VERY Nordic. I AM VERY PROUD OF EVERY BIT OF MY HERITAGE. I love the Civil War (I love history in general) and THE CONFEDERATES ARE MY FRIENDS! No, I'm not a racist, but the South gets a hard rap. I love my Dixieland...I also love my Viking ancestors. Though the raid on Lindisfarne makes me sad because my ancestors burned all those libraries...I STILL LOVE THEM!! hugs lone berserker at Stamford Bridge

I LOVE THE SEA!

I don't like Mary-Sues, unless they're supposed to be funny. Of course, who does? Anyway, I know, Bree in my Pirate fic comes close to a Mary Sue...but I've taken great pains to keep her from that. She has moments of Mary Sueish toughness...which is why I have the relationship between her and Davy take a LOOOOONG time to develop. One thing I hate in a DavyOC fic is the couple beginning to like one another in the first two chapters. IT AIN'T REALISTIC, FOLKS! Unless ye skipped a span of three years, or something. Anyways...Bree is not really a Mary Sue because she's pretty much me in pirate form (which is so typical of a fangirl, but hey...)...and I am NOT perfect! XD

SOMEONE HELP ME GET FF TO ADD CASTAWAYS OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN AS A CATEGORY!

Religion: I am a Protestant Christian. I believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven. He is my Lord and Savior and I love Him with all my heart. I believe in wholesome living, I don't use curse words and plan to either stay a virgin or abstain from sex before marriage. There is no unwholesome stuff in my writing, except violence and one hinted love scene WITHIN MARRIAGE.

Political stuff: I try to stay out of politics but I am a republican. I support George Bush 100 but I know he is human and can make mistakes. But I trust God to choose the right person to lead our country. My brother is in the military so I don't like this war, but I know it is necessary. I hope it ends soon but I 'support' it...if you really can support a war.

Favorite TV shows: I don't watch TV. I do, however, have some old TV shows (the best kind! I hate the modern shows) on DVD. Hogan's Heroes is my absolute favorite! So hilarious! I also like Andy Griffith and the Munsters. I also like Who's Line is it Anyway and Monty Python's Flying Circus.

My favorite movies: Pirates, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Gladiator, Horatio Hornblower series, Master and Commander, The 13th Warrior, anything gory. In a lighter category, Ocean's 11 & 12, Three Amigos. And of course, classic Disney, most of all Beauty and the Beast. Oh, and I'm a big fan of Lonesome Dove.Oh, forgot O Brother Where Art Thou! (GAH! DID I FORGET MONTY PYTHON AND THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL?! FORSHAME! scourges self)

Favorite kind of music: Celtic, classical, classic rock, some death-metal. Chieftains, Nightwish, Hesperus, Flogging Molly, Vivaldi (snort) and the guys who compose the music on the Redwall audio books.

My PotC stuff: I am a W/E shipper, a J/A shipper (Anamaria and Jack) a B/L shipper (Barbossa and Lillian) and a D/B shipper (Davy and Bree, what else?) Oh, and a BP/FD shipper (Black Pearl/Flying Dutchman) I'm also a C/C shipper (Clanker and Caylie) AND THE DUTCHMAN WILL NEVER HAVE A CAPTAIN OTHER THAN JONES! CURSE YOU, WILL TURNER! I HATE THE WHELP! DAVY IS THE ONLY CAPTAIN!

Enjoy my stories! (if that's possible) It seems that my most successful one is Bad Luck Bree: The Girl on the Flying Dutchman...latest obsession!

OH OH OH!! Here's my deviant art account. I draw pictures of my charries. I've got several pics of Bree, one of Jess, and one of Arabelle and some of characters from fanfics not up here. http://bad-luck-bree.deviantart.com/

"There's a butterfly in the twee!!" ~ Inside joke

"Very soonly!"

"If I had a napkin, I wouldn't give it to you!"

"Fat people who run fast aren't running. They're just falling more gracefully and...longly."

"The bookshelf is red because communists are queers." - me while painting a miniature bookshelf...bright red.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS PURE AND HOLY!!"

"Don't hate me 'cause I'm Southern."

Lonesome Dove quotes:

"Deets, drop that baby!"

"Cheerful in all weathers."

"Did ya bring the wagon?" "I'll bring it."

"I hate rude behavior in a man...won't tolerate it."

"Woodrow, I told you a LONG time ago, it ain't Greek, it's Latin."

"I'm from Arkansas!"

"I feel fresh as a bagel!"

"Doctor Frankenstein?" "Fronkensteen." "You're putting me on." "No, it's pronounced Fronkensteen." "Do you also say Frodrick?" "No, Fredrick." "Well why isn't it Frodrick Fronkensteen." "It isn't, it's Fredrick Fronkensteen." "I see..." "You must be Igor." "No, it's pronounced Eyegor." "But, they told me it was Igor." "Well they were wrong then, weren't they?" "You were sent by Herr Falkstein, weren't you?" "Yes...my grandfather used to work for your grandfather." "...How nice." "Of course the rates have gone up!"

Hogan's Heroes quotes:

Schultz while in wedding dress: "You do such nice work. Would you design a dress for my wife?" "Sure, just bring me her measurements." "Take mine and you've got hers."

"Schultz, stop crying, you'll ruin the dress." "I always cry at a wedding!"

"KOMMANDANT BIG-SHOT!!"

"I KNOW NNNNNOTHING!"

Nurse: 'Oh, would you like me to put the flowers in the water?' Newkirk (as Hogan): 'Oh, no thanks, I'll eat 'em here. (eats flowers)

Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE?!

Ten Commandments inside joke with my father:

"...into the valley of toil and agony - AUGH!!" (it happens! there's someone who randomly shouts!)

Tyler and I while watching Phantom of the Opera:

When Christine drops the rose on the roof: "It's symbolism!"

When Erik is crushing the rose: "HE'S ANGRY!"

When Erik is doin' his little spiel on the roof: "What if his mask dropped off?" starts imitating actor "CRAP THAT WAS THE FIFTH ONE TODAY!!"

Natalie and I while watching Patriot:

When the guy's head gets blown off by the cannonball: "...hysterical laughter"

Natalie and I while watching Jaws:

When Quint throws down the machete and it glistens: "Shawing! MACHETAY!!"

Whose Line:

What Lassie was really trying to tell everyone-

"THE SQUARE ROOT OF NINE IS THREE!"

Strange things to find in your bed-

"Colin?!" "TEACH ME HOW TO SING LIKE YOU!"

100000 ANTI-TWILIGHT IF YA LIKE VAMPIRES, READ DRACULA!!