| Fugatad |
Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile: This is how your link will appear The sorting hat says that I belong in Gryffindor! Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name." Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous. Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. I would share with you a joke. A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs, and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Kentucky. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes "I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blond yells, "You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your lap" Hee Hee Hee! I liked it….. Here is another blonde joke A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So-o-o-o she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. Another joke for you, it’s very funny! (one of my favorites!) Baked Beans -- This is hilarious! AND it's told by a FEMALE. One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted! 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off. 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. now for semoehtnig itnresitng... i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that put it in your profile. What you DONT want to hear while having surgery 1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy. 2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness” 3. Hand me that…uh…that uh…thingie. 4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. 5. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? 6. There go the lights again… 7. “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys…and this guy’s got two of ‘em.” 8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! 9. Could you stop that thing from beating, it’s throwing my concentration off. 10. Sterile, schmerile. The floor’s clean, right? 11. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change? 12. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct? 13. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card? 14. What do you mean “You want a divorce!” 15. Fire! Fire! Everyone get out. 16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing. 17. Oh, look everyone. It’s lunch time. 18. The foot bone’s connected to the, leg bone… 19. That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! 20. Hey, if you pull on this it makes a funny noise. | |||||||
1. Harry Potter and the Shinobi Magi » reviewsAfter the events of his fifth year Harry vows to defeat Voldemort and his followers. But when another organization called the Shinobi Magi enter the equation things get tougher. Independant Harry. HPGW Manipulative DumbledoreHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,411 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-22-09 - Published: 3-21-09 - Harry P. & Ginny W.