Name: Dr. Yami. No, I'm not really a doctor. Just a sort've title I took up, as I've started to critique fanfics in a doctorish sort of way.

Gender: Male

Age: Piss off mate.

Where I live: See age(No, not Australia).

Likes: Naruto, Bleach, NaruHina, good fanfics (On example is Nugar's "People Lie". If fanfic were justu, I know the perfect name for this one: Mind Fuck no jutsu).

Dislikes: Hypocrites, SasuHina, yaoi, anything needlessly complicated, or anything that makes things needlessly complicated(Politics, relationships, miscommunication, women, talking), drama(Relates to previous dislike. Good plot thickener in stories and shows, suck in real life), idiots, and those incompetent with no excuse(This is my first year of carpentry. What's YOUR excuse? This is your third year).

On the subject of yaoi, I say this: There are more SasuNaru fanfics out there, than there are NaruEveryOtherFemaleCharacter... combined.

... What. The Hell. Is wrong with people!?

Oh, and people who ask me why I carry an umbrella. I just bloody DO.(See that wooden handle? It hurts when you get hit with it.)

Hobbies: Reading fanfiction, reading in general, procrastinating, writing crack fics. Suck at epics. Also, I apparently can't get many reviews unless I throw in a lemon =/ I still wonder whatever happened to all that moral fiber.

Beings I Fear: God, Tycho Brahe of Penny Arcade, Nugar and DevilKeys Writing of fanfiction.net. God can think about me not existing, and I won't exist, and Tycho has a crazed demon living in his soul. Nugar and Devil are kind of two sides of the same coin. Nugar knows all the mental trauma you could suffer through, and Devil all the physical. They are masters of their arts.

Dreams and Wishes for the Future: Become a psychologist. And my dearest, dearest wish is that they would just let Poke'mon die and rest in peace. To quote Tycho Brahe, "They are FUCKING his CORPSE!"

April 6th, the day the greastet fic I will eve know died; All That I Am XXFox, Demon, Human, MeXX. It is one of my greatest joys to have read it, and one of my greatest regrets I will never see how it ends. A handful of leaves, scattered to the four winds, their fates never to be known.

http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/437/16-17/
This is the stuff of freaking EPICS. Nothing, no single fanfiction, not even a collection of fanfictions, can begin to compare with how brilliantly Kishimoto brought about this moment.

... Admittedly, I'm going to have to commit bloody fucking murder if Hinata is dead. (Fortunately for Kishimoto, she isn't.)

But I'm still gonna kill him if he doesn't bring on Naruto's confrontation with Hinata soon.

List twelve favored characters from a specific anime, answer the question.

1) Hinata Hyuga
2) Uzumaki Naruto
3) Hatake Kakashi
4) Namikaze Minato
5) Sarutobi Hiruzen
6) Senju Tsunade
7) Uchiha Itachi
8) Subaku no Gaara
9) Umino Iruka
10) Nara Shikamaru
11) Mitarashi Anko
12) Yuhi Kurenai

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? I'd be all over it if it existed.
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? No homo, Yondy is a good lookin dude.
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? ... Shouldn't that be the other way around? Otherwise, WTF.
4. Do you recall any fics about Nine? I think, maybe... nope. I got nothing.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? ... Maybe. Throw in a few time traveling bits, and yeah. Oh yeah.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? No. No. God no.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Tough call... Either just kind of calmy incapacitate both of them, or join in.
8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic. ... Ugh... "The lazy geniuses unite!"
9. Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Yeah, there are a few pockets of it... definitely not to my taste though. One-Two FTW!
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. "The Lies We Tell ourselves."
11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? ... If I absolutely had to... "Naruto is actually the Yondaime transformed into a child again by some part of the sealing gone wrong."
12. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? I don't even know what "het" is.
13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? I wouldn't know. No friends to speak of. But, yeah, if they were like me and they could draw better, they'd draw Eleven in a heartbeat.
14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? ... No. No. God no. I'd never be friends with such a person who did.
15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? ... Troublesome.
16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Toughy... but I'd go with either Pain or Savin Me.
17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? WARNING! CHANCE OF MASSIVE BLEED OUT THROUGH THE NASAL PASSAGE!
18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? ... NO!

"Immortality of the mind, of the body, of the spirit, of the soul, a power others have dreamt of gaining but never, not one, succeeding. But such a unique power comes with great suffering. To have this power is to live a life where heaven is merely a dream, and shall never become a memory..."
-Heaven Is But A Dream, Senyor Fier Mensheir of fanfiction.net

"The way I see it, there are three kinds of people in life: Scholars, brawlers, and warriors. Scholars are the thinkers. They plot, they plan, but they never really have what it takes to get thing done. Brawlers are the doers. They don't think, they don't plan, they just DO. Warriors are the balance. They plan out their fight, and then they put that plan into action."
-Myself

"Ask not what your friends can do for you. Ask what they will do TO you once they catch you."
-Myself again. Spur of the moment.

"They say old habits die hard. Obviously, their aim sucks."
-Guess who? ME!

"Money is the root of all evil. A man needs roots."
-Fortune cookie

"There is a price for dignity... Fortunately, there are also coupons for it."
-Bucky Katt, Get Fuzzy comics, drawn by Darby Conley

"Some people think I'm evil. They do not stand corrected."
-Myself. They're just pouring out of my head... Wait, no, that's grey matter.

"If violence doesn’t solve your problems, you didn’t use enough."
-Hinata, People Lie, Chapter 20, by Nugar

"It's not a choice. It's a lack of options."
-My response to anyone who's against NaruHina

"We do this my way, there is no highway."
-Vin Diesel, The Pacifier

"I don't have an ego. I just love how awesome I am."
-Forgot where I heard this one.

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a soul."
-Nugar, author of 'People Lie', here on fanfiction.net

"Just when you realize that life's a bitch, it has puppies."
- Adrienne E. Gusoff

"Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to do it."
- Henry Miller

"Happiness is the dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
- Johnny Carson

"If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door."
- Paul Beatly

"A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "That fact has not created me a sense of obligation.""
- Stephen Crane

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
-Unknown

"When we stare into the eyes of God and say 'I don't want any part of it,' He turns around and replies 'What choice do you have?'"
- Unknown

"This hair does not grow on a chin."
-Pablo Francisco

"Those kids are so easy to kill. You can strangle them with a cordless phone, know what I'm talking about?"
-Pablo Francisco, commenting on Friday the 13th movies

"I swear that if they do anything to hurt her, using nothing but pure will, I will rip this seal from my stomach, unleash the Kyubi, and watch this world burn."
-Naruto, People Lie, Chapter 22

Woman:"Honey, I'm just gonna go in this store for a minute to check out this sale."
Man:"That's a Goddamn lie and you know it."
-Inspired by Penny Arcade

"I just want to take a moment and talk to all the retards. So, you spend your real money in order to get pretend money in your online games. Then, for the privlege of spending that pretend money- in a pretend world, on pretend things- you pay MORE real money every month. What a bunch of fucking brain surgeons."
-Div, Penny Arcade

"And Frank Herbert? They are FUCKING his CORPSE!"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade. Think he was commenting on Dune remakes or something. Hilarious.

"Pillage first, then burn."
-Bumper Sticker

"Listen. If you wanted to go to Dairy Queen or something, fine, let's go. But no. You always want to fucking kill people. You never just want a Blizzard."
-Gabe, Penny Arcade, What The Girls Call Murder

"There sits, a Starbucks. And directly across the street, in the exact same building as that Starbucks... There is, another Starbucks."
-Louis Black

"The blessed beast with no god to praise"
-No God To Praise, a translation by crimson.clouded.butterfly

Satchel: "How many roads must a man walk down? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does it make a sound? What mends a broken heart? What's the sound of one hand clapping?"
Bucky: "42, yes, angioplasty, and um..."
-slap Satchel-
Bucky: "... Something like that I imagine. So what's a rhetorical?"
Satchel: "Ow."
-Get Fuzzy. September 28, 2008 Sunday comic

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"
-Albert Einstein

"You know, Mother, as first lady of the American stage Helen Hayes once said, 'I'm going to kill you!'"
-Stewie Griffin

"I'll sit there and I'll look back and I'm like, ‘I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?'"
-Britney Spears. It was just too funny to pass. Britney, Smart?

"You can complain about how someone writes until the cows come home; writer can't improve if they don't know what they're doing wrong."
-Myself, to flamers. If you don't like a story, fine, but at least say WHY you don't like it.

"Step between me and angus burgers, the consequences are dire. Step between me and pepperoni pizza- YOUR LIFE IS FORFEIT."
-Me. The one bone I have against PETA: Trying to take away my meat.

"Me and my parakeet have come to an understanding. It follows as thus: He hates me, I hate him. He pecks my finger, I smack him upside the head with a pencil."
-Me. It's all true.

"You need therapy!"
-Junior, Grim Tales From Down Below, by Bleedman, snafu-comics.com

"You know that place they talk about when they say, 'Yeah, I went there?' That's where I live."
-Naruto, People Lie, by Nugar, chapter 26

"You know that place that the ANBU guy kicked me three times? That's where my balls were. So shut up."
-Sasuke's response to the previous quote

"I have a rocket launcher. Your argument is invalid."
-Read it off a t-shirt.

"Deus ex machina: When a writer is too lazy to come up with an effing good reason something happened. Ie, an angel appeared and made everything all better."
-Me. I loathe when people use a dues ex machina. Except of course when the fic isn't in any way, shape or form, serious. Like a comedy.

"Plausible deniability: It's really my fault, but you take the blame for it regardless."
-Me, thought up while procrastinating my homework.

"You know you've played too much Halo when the shower starts sounding like the Flood theme song, and you start to panic and think 'WHERE THE HELL IS MY SHOTGUN!?'"
-Yeah. Me. God I hate those things.