Yo, yo, yo!

What the fuck are you staring at my profile for? If you're here because you're a psychotic creep, then please leave a message telling me that you'd like to go out with me because the two of us are lonely Saturday nights and have nothing better to do. I don't mind running my knived stilletos across your throat while we're at it too. If you're just stalking me because you assume I'm the sexiest woman alive, then message me telling me you'd like to marry me so I can ditch you the day after and have an affair with another. If you're here because you want to bitch to me about not updating any of my stories cause I'm an unimaginative lazy ass, then please go drown yourself somewhere because it isn't happening.

If you're here for none of the reasons above, then...

My name's Dimitrius, an eighteen year-old narcissistic bona fide extraordinaire. Rumored to be a child of two superdeities, I was raised by my two loving grandmothers, San and Crimsy. While the former has spent her time teaching me the ways of alluring men (and Blur's mom ;) with the power of feminine charms, the latter has taught me to grow a heart and accept all despite my narcissistic self. Both Mormonic, they are soul-loves to each other despite San's tendencies to get drunk and involve other women in her relationships. Nonetheless, San's genes ought not to discourage you from meddling with me if you're the type for long term relationships and commitment.

As for the story of my life, well, I am known to be quite a genius. I graduated from college at the wee age of ten, joined CIA, and battled wannabe terrorists like Mex (whose soothing voice washes beautifully over the words to my all-time favorite song) and pagans like Sao (though the fact that she is one of my lovers and a great Teen Titans writer has made me overlook her heathen nature). I've also cruised through life with my confidant since kindergarden, Pirate. Quite a lazy ass at times, he's cool to have around to be silly with.

Of course, my life doesn't exist without my line of lovers either. A pending client list has been printing out for quite a while and it has yet to come to an end. I've had a fair share of persistent clients...one of whom is lovely Jeannie who spammed my inbox with over 2,500 messages whoring for my attention. But my all-time love happens to be Apo, a true gentleman at heart. Still in the dating phase, but I have a feeling he may convert me to commitment. Uh-oh.

Oh and yeah, I'm a secret ballet lover...don't tell the Rabid American Ballerina this though. I have a feeling she may use the brains of calm, cool, and calculating Mellie to fully convert me to her diabolic plan to convert the rest of the world to ballet with my charms. Despite that, however, my interests span a wide range of subjects.

I'm an avid Bollywood fan...Hrithik Roshan being the ultimate sexy actor of all ages. Of course, my twin mah twin (the lovely Mara Jade) would disagree with that since her loyalty lies towards that Depp Dweeb but we still love each other very much. Moving on, I affiliate with cartoons mostly (the exception being Avatar: The Last Airbender) and I usually ship canon pairings though I do enjoy some unconventional ones as well.

But more than just reading fics and occasionally reviewing, I chill at the Fireplace, The Order of the Knights Of Santiago, and a joint forum belonging to San and I, The Scarlets. Catch you there if you can handle me.

"Happiness is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."