Public service announcement thing:
I have deleted most of my stories for a reason. That reason is that I think they sucked.
I will rewrite them. At the moment I am busy, however, and I didn't want to leave 'em up.
Also, I wish I could organize this stupid profile instead of putting random new stuff in...
19.08.07

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, ergo, weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

READING is better than WATCHING TV

I, Dreaming Cat 369, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I enjoy, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the Review Revolution. Post this same thing in your profile (albeit without my name - substitute yours) and spread the love!

Hello FanFictionous Peoples!

Am honoured muchly to be having you on my profile!

I like to read, do html, read, surf the Net, read, work on my website, read, read, scooter, read, hang out with friends, read, draw, and WRITE! Oh, and did I mention? I like to read.

I live in Mexico with three dogs, three cats and two horses and I am a girl. I have brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin; I'm short. Really short. Just so you can sort of picture the kid who's talking to you. I am... well, let's just say, NOT ADULT! Thank the Goddess! (see Tamora Pierce's Tortall books)

I like cats, books, scooters, RollerBlades, computers, and dogs.

Artemis Fowl, Tortall, Dune, etc, etc, all books on my shelves (I need more!) (both books and shelves, I mean) TOTALY rock.

By my own admission, I am 'weird'. I take insults as compliments (unless I really am bored and want to banter); it means the person in question thinks I am so utterly cool that they spent time trying to make me tick. Nice! And it drives them nuts.

Hasta luego,

Dreaming, Cat, and 369, who are actually just three of my dominant personalities... You know how everyone is someone else depending on the situation? That's what it's like with Dreaming, Cat and 369. Oh, and Vladmiran, Khasmina, and Sarah Randolphen from Alex Rider and the Flight of the Knife (shortened to the Flight of the Knife for practical reasons), Z from The Truth Behind the Letters Behind the Coconut Trees, the Mysterious Girl from from As Sincerely As the Situation Requires, Cody from Artemis Fowl: The Eye of the Cat, the TGAFA from Artemis Summarized, and Sophie from Artemis Fowl & Co. and the Play-Doh Ceiling (shortened to The Play-Doh Ceiling for practical reasons) are me too. Or rather, they are me a bit (or a lot) stretched-- wanna-be mes. Rose (-salyyn) is my school persona. Sarralin Pekkaya is, um, Sarralin. Or something.

Cats off to you, amigas (y amigos)!

Dreaming, Cat, 369, Sophie, Rose(-salyyn), Sarralin Pekkaya, Sarah Randolphen, Ruler, Z, Mysterious Girl, Cody, Holliann, Bima, CREkman, Sammantha, Jordan, Khasmina, et cetera.

Do you know what the only word that's always spelt incorrectly is?

According to some sources: 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've walked into the classroom you had the year before by accident and stood there looking around, wondering why all these midgets are in it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you like animals give one a home if you can. If you all ready have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

If you are bilingual or more copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

_WARNING: QUOTES!

So. Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Holly: (clutching head) Must... not... make... obvious statement about "fowl" play... AARGH! (crumples to ground, whimpering)

Artemis: (evil smile) Well, you see, the chicken's crossing the road was all part of the diabolical plan... (chair collapses in an anime-style dustcloud complete with a nice shot of his twitching feet) Holly: (innocently) Oops.

Caspian Nyghtvision: Because I threatened to disembowel it with a plastic spoon! (sprints out of the fic before she is labeled as a Mary Sue)

Foaly: Hey, it can't do that, it wasn't INVITED!

Commander Root: Stupid Mud Chicken.
(Nyghtvision: Oh, right. That's creative. (is bonked by some random object) Okay, I'll fall into a coma now...)

Butler: (grabs chicken) I'm not letting you cross the road by yourself. It's too dangerous.

Juliet: (blank) ... Chicken... What chicken?

Artemis: (watching it on vidscreen with traditional evil smile) That's it, chicken. Cross the road and into my little trap. (chair collapses again and he lands in another undignified heap with little stars floating around his head) Ee, sparkly flamingos!

Foaly: Its helmet must have been malfunctioning!

Commander Root: Okay, I'm letting it go just this once. But let me warn you, chicken, this is highly against the rules. If the council found out you'd been crossing roads... (makes slit-throat gesture)

Holly: Perhaps its standard-issue wings weren't good enough.

Butler: Chicken, I can't pretend I know your reasons for doing this, but I just want you to know, I'm behind you every step of the way.

Artemis: (pressing an icepack to his head and looking more than a little... woozy...) I'll think of some witty, sarcastic and highly evil answer to that in a minute. Can somebody do something about these damn singing flamingos? I don't like the way they're looking at me.

Chix Verbil: Those chicks just can't keep away. Chicks? Get it? Chicks? (is bonked by some random object from offscreen) Hey, can't I get a word in? (is bonked by another, larger, heavier object from offscreen) Honey, ease up on --- (is squashed by a large cast iron bathtub) I feel unloved.

Holly: I can't let the chicken get injured in line of duty! (dashes nobly out into traffic, grabs chicken from impending doom at the tires of an eighteen-wheeler, rolls off the edge of the road, and shields it with her body)

Juliet: What, are we still talking about chickens?

Artemis: (recovered somewhat) I think there's a website that has something to do with this. Anyone seen my laptop? Damn flamingos.

Artemis: The chicken must go. It's getting in the way of my intricate plans for world domination.

Commander Root: I could lend you a few squads to take care of the chicken. But I gotta warn you, it's like killing a mosquito with a machine gun.
Caspian Nyghtvision: (polishing machine gun offstage and admiring her new stuffed mosquito trophy) HEY! There's nothing wrong with that!

Mulch Diggums: (Yes, he had to be in here,at least once.) Because it couldn't tunnel underneath the road... duh.

Mulch Diggums: (drawing diagram that looks like several molting giant flamingos getting attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes) Okay, this is the road...
Root: You mean the noodle.
Mulch: No, if I had drawn a noodle, it would have looked like this. (draws a ball of yarn)
Root: That's a ball of yarn.
Mulch: ... It's a rare kind of Pakistani noodle. And this is the chicken... (points to giant molting flamingo)
Root: Are you sure that's not a flamingo?
Artemis: NEVER SAY THAT WORD IN MY PRESENCE!
Root: Which one -- are, you, sure, that's, not, or flamingo?
Artemis: AAAH! (rolls on the floor, clutching his head and fending off visions of vengeful flamingos)
Mulch: (completely oblivious) Then if you add the estimation of feather drag to the ratio of asphalt to tires, then you get this... (draws something that looks like... erm... a pack of vicious weasels getting eaten by flamingos while waiting in line at the supermarket because they didn't review Nyghtvision's fics) Then you can see why the chicken crossed the road. Comprende?

Artemis: (smirk) Because as soon as it crosses the road, I will not let it leave.

Holly: (leafing through her copy of the Book/Fairy Bible) There's no entry about this.

Chix: (miraculously resurrected) Cruisin' for chicks, yeah... They're always prettier on the other side of the road. (is hit by another cast-iron bathtub from above) Hey, hurt me all you like. I know and you know, deep down inside you love me. (is hit by two more cast-iron bathtubs and a cast-iron toilet for good measure)
(Nyghtvision: . Dammit Holly! Not the toilet! I needed that!)
(Holly: Didn't do it.)

Foaly: (bored shrug) Well, I suppose if you really wanted me to, I could analyze its brain wave patterns and detect why it desired to cross the road, but... not really worth the time.

Artemis: According to my calculations, the odds of it surviving are 42 to one against.

Holly: The chicken has to cross the road to renew its store of magic energy. Otherwise it'll run dry.

Butler: Damn chicken! It's got some kind of shielding device... The tires are just bouncing off it!

Holly: It was looking for an acorn...

Root: Hey, I don't care, if the mud chicken wants to commit suicide, I say let it.

Artemis: It wasn't a smart fowl. Unlike me.
Everyone else: (wincing and making "rim shot" gestures)

Grub Kelp: MOMMY! THE CHICKEN IS COMING TO EAT ME!

Trouble Kelp: (offstage) I refuse to take part in this fic. This Nyghtvision woman is just too weird. (is shoved onstage) Uh, to get to the other side? (is eaten by giant flamingos) Ahh! The pain!

Caspian Nyghtvision: (dancing on the rooftop in her usual garb of lit, blinking Christmas tree lights and the Ancient One's Hat... erk, only Ronin Warrior people get that one, I think... and chowing down on random sugar-high foods) BECAUSE IT RAN OUT OF PIXI-STIX! MWA HA HA HA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the flamingos rejoiced.
--lines from "Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Fowl Style" by Nyghtvision

Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road… it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!

LOLLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLXD

Holly: (panting) Right. Sorry about the delay. Unfortunately, our singer has sustained a minor injury, and will not be singing. Now—

Foaly: What was the injury?

Holly: You’re not supposed to be here!

Foaly: Tough luck. What was the injury?

Holly: (sighs) Being a know-it-all.

Artemis: (from a distance away) Holly! I told you to say it was a head injury!

Holly: Being a know-it-all is a head injury!

Artemis: But I didn’t mean that kind of head injury!

Holly: You didn’t specify.

Artemis: Besides, I’m not a know-it-all!

Holly: (snorts) Yeah, sure. Whatever. Anyway, now we have—(pause) Hmmm...Foaly?

Foaly: What?

Holly: Did you add anything else to this list when you put—um, you know, that thing on there?

Foaly: No. Why?

Holly: Because...because Opal Koboi’s name is on there. She is, apparently, going to sing. I thought maybe you were doing it for a joke.

Foaly: No...

Holly: Great. She can’t sing, she’s insane!

Opal: Oh yes I can!

Holly: (flabbergasted) O-Opal! What are you doing here?

Opal: It says right there, doesn’t it? I’m going to sing!

Holly: But—but you can’t sing! At least, not on this show. This station is about cooperation between humans and fairies, and—well, let’s just say you’re not the best example of that.

Foaly: (stage whisper) Look who’s talking.

Holly: Quiet, Foaly!

Opal: Too bad. I am going to sing.

Holly: No you’re not!

Opal: Yes I am!

Holly: No you’re not!

Opal: Yes I am!

Holly: NO, you’re NOT!

Opal: YES, I AM!

Holly: Fine. Fine, fine. Sing. But hurry up about it.

Foaly: Just a minute. Opal?

Opal: What is it?

Foaly: Remember when I won that science medal at school?

Opal: YOU DARNED CENTAUR! I DESERVED THAT MEDAL AND YOU KNOW IT! THEY ONLY GAVE IT TO YOU BEAUSE YOU’RE A MALE!

Foaly: (sing-song) I won the science medal, nyah nyah nyah.

Opal: YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR IT! YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT MY WINGS WERE MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR SILLY IRIS-CAM!

Foaly: (still singing) I won the science medal, I won the science medal, I won the—

Opal: THAT IRIS-CAM IS THE WORST INVENTION I EVER SAW! WHO NEEDS AN IRIS-CAM ANYWAY! NOT ANYBODY WHO’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, THAT’S FOR SURE! OH, BE QUIET, CENTAUR!

Foaly: (singing louder) I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE—

Opal: BE QUIET! OH WELL, WHO CARES ABOUT SOME SILLY SCIENCE MEDAL, ANYWAY! NOT ME! NOPE! YOU CAN’T BOTHER ME! DID YOU HEAR ME! I SAID BE QUIET!

Foaly: (singing at top of lungs now) I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE SCIENCE MEDAL, I WON THE—

Opal: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (runs off screaming. Foaly stops singing. Silence for a moment.)

Holly: Thanks, Foaly.

Foaly: No problem. It’s easy and fun. You should try it sometime.

From HA Network by HollybriDgetpepermint

Foaly: Fine! Gee! Okay. Anyway, today we will be studying the iris-cam. This baby is the invention that won me the science medal, and boy, am I proud of it! It—

Opal: (we hear her running. Her voice gets closer and closer) DONKEY! YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THAT SCIENCE MEDAL! DO YOU HEAR ME! THAT SILLY IRIS-CAM CAN’T DO ANYTHING USEFUL!

Foaly: (serenely) I beg to differ. It has many filters, including thermal, x-ray, and others, which make it very useful for LEP work. In addition—

Opal: SO WHAT! IT’S NOT STILL NOT USEFUL!

Foaly: (still calm) Au contraire. It is also very useful for giving an enemy a shock in the eye. Or if that fails, at least for playing a bit of a practical joke.

Opal: (stops screaming) Hmmm...I’ve changed my mind. That lovely thing is a state-of-the-art invention. Can I have one?

Foaly: No. (to audience) The iris-cam comes in any color—

Opal: Why not?

Foaly: A few reasons. One, you bugged me about winning the science medal. Two, it’s not fair to change your mind like that. Three, it’s an LEP-secure invention.

Opal: So?

Foaly: So, no one outside the LEP may have one without specific permission from the Council, and even then, they are checked up on every week or so to make sure they’re not using it improperly.

Opal: Then why are you advertising it?

Foaly: (calmly still) To drive people crazy and generally rub it in that they can’t have it.

Opal: But—but this sounds like my kind of invention!

Foaly: Sorry. Make your own if you want one. You should be able to do that.

Opal: Oh, come on! Pleeeeeease?

Foaly: Nope. Sorry.

Opal: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (runs off again, sputtering with fury) That—donkey—invention—I want—can’t have—advertising—(her voice fades as she leaves)—why can’t I—LEP-secure—silly—aaaaaargh!

From HA Network by Hollybridgetpepermint

"Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
--Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation

"Spit out the prisoner."
--LEP (Lower Elements Police) Officer (Artemis Fowl, page 167)

"That was on purpose."
--My friend Sarah (Ms. Randolphan's namesake) after falling flat on her face during an improvised gymnastics routine.

"That was on purpose"
Me after falling on my face, so hard I saw stars, while trying to imitate ms. Randolphan's namesake. needless to say, it actually wasn't on purpose.

"But I do look like a girl!"
"yeah, well, you also look like a boy."
My muse who never shuts up and I, arguing about why everyone thinks my self-portraits are male. Admittedly I would be caught dead drawing myself in a skirt, but still... (And I once drew a lady in a suit-skirt thing and when I went around asking, "male or female?" got the response, "male." "sooo...," I said sarcastically, "It's a guy in drag? Or did you not notice the skirt?")

"But WHY did you call me an idiot?"
-- Anon.

(hazily) "I like buganvilla..."
--Me after falling on my face.

"He died and he died and he died"
-- Duncan Idaho ghola (number unaccountable) regaining serial-ghola (mostly, blame Leto II (for a lot of the dying too)) memories. (Heretics of Dune)

"Captain Sparrow!" "You wish to join us mate? Welcome aboard." "I'm looking for the man I love." "Sorry son, my only partner is the sea." "Meaning Will Turner Captain Sparrow." "Elizabeth! offside "hide the rum" "You know these clothes do not flatter you at all, it should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin."
-Dead Mans Chest

"I wonder if you remember a certain Jack Sparrow- "Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"Why is the rum ALWAYS gone? Oh. That's why." -Dead Mans Chest

"Is this a dream? "No." "I thought not. If it were there'd be rum."
-Dead Mans Chest

"Where's that monkey? I need to shoot something."
-Dead Mans Chest

"There'll be no knowing here! I thought I knew you."
-Dead Mans Chest

"How much do you know about Davey Jones?" "Davey Jones? Not much." "Yes. Yes, that's what's going to save Elizabeth"
- Dead Mans Chest

"There will come a moment when you have a chance to do the right thing." "I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by." -Dead Mans Chest

"How did you get here? "Sea turtles. Two of em. Strapped to my legs." "Ah. It's not that easy is it?" -Dead Mans Chest

"I don't believe it. You were telling the truth." "You know I do that quite a lot actually yet people always seem surprised." -Dead Mans Chest

"'Is that how I died?'"
-- Ten-year-old ghola of the Mentat-Bashar Miles Teg (Chapterhouse:Dune)

'“HAH! I HAVE YOU NOW, CIMORENE!” A wild voice yelled.
“Oh, honestly, do you EVER die?” Cimorene asked.'
--In Which a Great Deal of Things Happen (I would put in the author's name but it won't write right.)

"'Don't feel like dying today, thanks. Come back next Thursday.'"
Guy: "why Thursday?"
Laurena: "I don't like Thursdays so I am usualy in a bad mood during one, the better to bite your head off.."
--Laurena Kaleean (adaptation) (The Chronicles of the Vampireress L'saela and one Radioactive Girl, Volume I by Selenan Kolandra)

"I know you're an idiot."
-- me to someone who called me an idiot

"Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

"That's right, Mud Boy. Playtime's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back."
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, pages 215 and 216

“I don’t like lollipops.” --Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl, page 216) (Obviously, the last two quotes go together)

"Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron." --Artemis Fowl, page 64

“I don’t want anyone else getting hurt today, not even Artemis Fowl.”
“Understood.”
“Well,” added the commander. “Not unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 39

“So, all this time, you knew Mulch Diggums was alive?”
Holly nudged the starboard thruster to avoid a missile of half-melted rock.
“Not for sure. Foaly just had this theory.”
The commander wrung an imaginary neck. “Foaly! Why am I not surprised?”
Artemis smirked from his seat in the passenger area. “Now, you two, we need to work together as a team.”
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 181

“Butler,” rasped Artemis, with the absolute last ounce of his strength. “Could someone spray me down? And then could we please go to Murmansk?”
Butler was mystified. “Spray? What spray?”
Holly unhooked the antirad foam canister, flipping the safety catch.
“Allow me,” she grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”
She directed a jet of foul-smelling foam at Artemis. In seconds he resembled a half-melted snowman. Holly laughed. Who said there were no perks in law enforcement?
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 255

Artemis sat up. “Alchemy? You have alchemy vats?”
“Stop drooling, Mud Boy. They’re experimental. The ancient warlocks used to be able to turn lead into gold, according to the Book, but the secret was lost. Even Opal Koboi hasn’t managed it yet.”
“Oh,” said Artemis, disappointed.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, pages 176 and 177

Artemis peered at the shape in the hole.
“I think she’s awake…”
He was cut short by Captain Short’s sudden return to consciousness. She bolted upright, icicles coating her eyelashes and auburn hair. Her chest ballooned as she swallowed huge gulps of air.
Artemis grabbed her shoulders, for once abandoning his shell of icy composure. “Holly. Holly, speak to me. Your finger. Is it okay?”
Holly wiggled her fingers, then curled them into a fist.
“I think so,” she said, and whacked Artemis right between the eyes. The surprised boy landed in a snowdrift for the third time that day.
Holly winked at an amazed Butler.
“Now we’re even,” she said.
Commander Root didn’t have many treasured memories. But in future days, when things were at their grimmest, he would conjure up this moment and have a quiet chuckle.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, pages 154 and 155

"It's not too bad, being a footnote to history."--And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself

" 'Well, I don't have a defibrilator,' Stefan said.
'Are you sure? This roof is wet,' said Ditto, backing away.
'No.' Stefan said, and fired." -- The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer.

He glanced up sharply when Holly entered through the pneumatic double doors.
“Anybody see you come in here?”
Holly thought about it.
“The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.”
Foaly frowned. “The EIB?”
“Everyone in the building.” Holly smirked.
--Artemis Fowl, page 42

"THE IMPROBABILITY OF EVENTS DEPICTED IN THIS FILM IS THE SUREST INDICATION THAT THEY DID INDEED OCCUR." --And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself.

"Mortal food clogs our essences something chronic. If we do devour anything-- such as a human, say-- it generally has to be still alive, so that its living essence galvanizes our own. This outweighs the burden of ingesting useless bone and flesh. Sorry-- not putting you off your tea, am I?"
-- The Golem's Eye (book II of the Bartimaeus Trilogy) by Jonathan Stroud, Chapter 27, footnote 2, page 305

" 'I can't belive you would dare to disagree with a man who has eye problems.'
'I have eye problems,' Klaus said, pointing to his glasses, 'and you're disagreeing with me.'
'I would thank you not to be impertinent,' Aunt Josephine said, using a word which here means, 'pointing out that I'm wrong, which annoys me.' 'It is very annoying.' "
-- The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket.

"Buisness cards, of course, are not proof of anything. Anyone can go into a print shop and have cards made that say anything they lke. The king of Denmark can order buisness cards that say he sells golf balls. Your dentist can order buisness cards that say she is your grandmother. In order to escape from the castle of an enemy of mine, I once had buisness cards made that said I was an admiral in the French navy. Just because something is typed-- whether it is typed on a buisness card or typed in a newspaper or in a book-- this does not mean it is true."
-- The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket

"I cannot tell the Baudelaire orphans that they are wrong, but I can tell you, as the orphans cry in Mr. Poe's arms, that Aunt Josephine is not dead.
Not yet."
-- The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket.

“Well, I suppose we’ll have to take our chances on foot. Butler, you’re the expert here, you take point. Captain Short, bring up the rear. Feel free to boot any human backside if it lags behind.”
Holly winked at Artemis. “No need to tell me twice, sir.”
“I’ll bet there isn’t,” grunted Root, with only the barest hint of a smile playing about his lips.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 119

“Clear,” she said into her microphone. “I’m going in. Foaly, have you got your ears on?”
“I’m right there with you, darlin’,” replied the centaur. “Unless you step on a land mine, in which case I’m way back in the Operations Room.”
--Artemis Fowl, page 265

Foaly was waiting at the pod. Serious though the situation was, he couldn’t resist an amused whinny at the sight of Root’s belly wobbling ever so slightly in his clinging jumpsuit.
“Are you sure about this, commander? Generally we allow only one passenger per pod.”
“What do you mean?” snarled Root. “There is only one…”
Then he caught Foaly’s meaningful glance at his stomach.
“Oh. Ha ha. Very amusing. Keep it up, Foaly. I have my limit, you know.”
--Artemis Fowl, page 87

"Shall I walk, or will you beam me up?"
--Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code)

"Nobody calls me an overdeveloped, signal-bell crow magnet!"
--Pex (Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code)

"Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn't there some law that says we get at least twenty-four?"
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception)

'"It's Maria," said Artemis, then caught himself. "I mean, let us go. Maybe we'll have better luck at the next site."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

"I am either going to barf, or fall asleep, or both." --Mulch Diggums (Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony)

'Artemis must have had a secondary plan, that boy always did. Artemis wouldn't go to the bathroom without a backup.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"I am older and have more control over my empathy," said Qwan. "That's why I didn't throw up." And having said that, he threw up.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Who would want to rescue a golf bag? wondered No. 1' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"He's crazy!" he gibbered, tumbling from the hatch of a titanium pod, which had been landed expertly on a flat patch not much bigger than a postage stamp. "The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him." --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"What's that even supposed to mean?" muttered No. 1 as he passed the sign. "A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight. Bring your own wolf." --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Butler glanced across at him from his perch on the knoll.
"How did that go?" he asked. "Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?"
"Fabulous," said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. "We're planning a June wedding."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Holly lowered her gun, resting a hand on her thigh.
"That must be it. Surely our troubles are over?"
Artemis felt the earth tilt a fraction below them. He dropped to one knee, laying the flat of his hands on the ground.
"I hate to say this, Holly, but I think we're sinking."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Foaly rolled his eyes. "Excuse me while I get a tissue. Honestly, I thought you demons were warlike and stoic. This little guy sounds like one of those cheap romance novels."
"The little guy who could fry your brain," Qwan reminded him.
"One of those cheap romance novels that I happen to adore," said Foaly, backing away slowly.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

Adelle stared at him for a moment, then growled angrily. Reaching out, she deftly slapped Jack Sparrow across the face and then marched off into his cabin, slamming the ornate doors before he could say a word.
The crew on deck was silent a moment, staring at Jack, who acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and continued to steer The Black Pearl, humming to himself. With a collective shrug, the crew returned to work.
Gibbs came up beside Jack, one eyebrow raised. “I told you it’s bad luck to have a woman aboard, Captain. They’re awful violent creatures.”Jack glanced at Gibbs, his kohl-lined eyes sparkling. “You, Gibbs, are a bloody pirate, and have no right to go sayin’ that anything or anyone is too violent.”Gibbs opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and stared at the deck and the rest of the crew looked on.“’Sides,” Jack said after a moment of silence on the deck, “it was more like a love pat.”-- Pirates Of the Carribean: The Island of Atlantis by Elle R-M

He turned his gaze suddenly, eyes locking with Adelle’s, and grinned cheekily. “Enjoying the view?”
She blinked then quickly smirked back, “Until it opened its mouth,” she replied, which could be considered the truth.
Jack laughed and shrugged. “What can I say, Love?”
“Nothing at all would be appreciated,” she retorted, smiling easily.
Jack grinned back. “I apologize then, ruined the moment didn’t I?”
“What else is new, Jack, hmm?” she replied teasingly, shaking her head and smiling truly for the first time in days. Jack was good at things like that-- making her smile despite the mood she was in.-- Pirates Of the Carribean: The Island of Atlantis by Elle R-M

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, WWMTgirl,The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Dreaming-Cat-369 (PM me if I left your name out by accident, I want to know who doesn't care... actually, I want to know, period. So, erm, great. My train of thought de-railed, was abducted by Vogons, was blown up, was wanted a piece of, was turned into a towel, was summoned by accident, almost killed, dropped down a dark hole, and lost it's temper when a man it was quietly trying to kill decide to join in. It then returned in the form of a beard, a cat puked on it, a dog ate it, and my mom threw it out. Needless to say, it was a little bit lost. (borrowed from KidLooseInTodosSantos.blogspot.com ) )

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

According to some sources: 92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball. Milk tastes good. People call me crazy but I'm just random! If you are random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever run into a door and slammed it so hard you flipped the lock and didnt know it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten your own name while introducing yourself copy and paste this into your profile.

NEW NEWS ALERT! NEW NEWS ALERT! I have a FictionPress.com account under the same penname. If you actually like my writing and want more, I'm trying to post on there faithfully, too.

Things You Really Don't Want to Hear During Surgery (Rainpath and Rosetail's Loyalty)

Well, that's the heart... I think... and what's that doing in here?

Aren't we supposed to take that out?

Where did you put the saw?

Oh, if only I had gone to medical school!

Hee-hee! Look at this! I tricked the idiot to sign a malpractice waver! Just a snip... and a clip...

Is that mold growing on the legs?

(This one is Rainpath's) Can't you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.

How long does that antibiotic stay working?

Does this guy have insurance?

Guys! Stand back! That thing just moved! I don't think it's supposed to...

Hey everyone! Look! All the stuff's moving... Do you think that thing there is a switch to turn it all off?

What kind of beetle is that? Why's it in going into there?

Hmm. You know, that's just the kind of bone my dog would love!

Hand me the thingamajig. No, not the flibertigibit! Oh, just give me the meat cleaver.

It's so annoying when they haven't pain for the surgery.

~NEXT THINGIE~

WRITTEN the 27th of NOVEMBER

Name: Soap. Oh, you mean my name! Like I'm going to tell you? You could be a crazy stalker! Gah! runs away

Gender: Of course I am a girl!

Hair color:Sort of brown with sort of blonde in it.

Eye color: Brown.

Birthday: Aug. 3. LEO!

Age: panic attack Stalker! Stalker!

College: Beats me.

PETS: Three cats. Three. 3. B without the line. The number after two. The number before four. The number after 2. The number before 4. Of cats. Three dogs. Three. 3. B without the line. The number after two. The number before four. The number after 2. The number before 4. Of dogs. (not counting my dad's dog, who doesn't live in the same place as mom and I's dogs) Two horses. Two. 2. Z with a curved top. The number after one. The number before three. The number after 1. The number before 3. Of horses. (a gelding and a cob (a mare))

Intrests: Reading, writing

Books I like: A lot

Books I don't like: Not many.

Where are you? At the computer. (no duh)

What's your personality like? Squeaky and random.

Who do you have a crush on? You think I'm going to put up my crush on the internet where 6 billion people can read it? Boy, are you sadly mistaken! Anyway, I don't even have one!

What was the last thing you thought? Bush looks like a mutated donkey. No, really!

Say George Bush. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? Jr. or Sr.? Jr usually looks slightly bewildered if he has his mouth open; okay: Al Franken. Don't ask me why!

You now have a million dollars. What do you do? Slowly get up and calmly strangle the interviewer for being so mean in saying I have a million dollars which I do not.

Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it? A mouse on a pad.

What are you eating/drinking right now? A computer. Let's think! NOTHING.

What are you writing RIGHT NOW? Hmm. Let's think. I seriously doubt I'm writing an envoy to the Assistant Grand Pupubash of St-Jorlderhon. How dumb is this interviewer?

Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18 and find line nine. What is it? Though I see no reason for this question: "'I'm on my way up to the coast to see the boys in Santa" (Cruz)

What's it like being you? Itchy.

What are your thoughts on writing? I LOVE IT! Except when I'm forced to do something really dumb with it.

How tall are you? Taller than some, shorter than most.

Do you know who the govorner of your state is? No idea.

Ketchup or Mustard? Ketchup! Duh. I hate mustard! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!

How many different programs are on your computor right now? Five. Fire Fox and Skype and Eudora and Microsoft Word and Spider Solitaire. Yes I am on a INSPIRON 2200 running Windows XP Platform. So Windows XP, too.

Have you ever been water-skiing? No!

What is the weather like? Bright, sunny, windy.

Are you going an vacation this summer and where? Well, seeing as it isn't summer anymore...

Anything else? It's 4:18 here.

1. Find a globe. There is no globe. Spin it. There is no globe. What does it say? There is no globe!
2. Find a book. M is for Malice. Turn to page 53, line 3, word, 6. What is it? Didn't we already do this? Ah, well: "remarked". It was the last word in the sentence.
3. What can you hear right now? Something we call a KEYBOARD. And a fan.
4. Have a conversaition with the closest living thing besides yourself. There are no living things.
5. Turn the TV on. what show is it? I don't have a TV.
6. Type your name with your elbow.drdeszaMIK PNGBV ER6YI9 wHAT THE HELL? that was supposed to be Dreaming-Cat-369
7. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Open your eyes. What do you see? Mom's computer
8. If you could be anyone from Warriors who would you be? Haven't read Warriors; want to.
9. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? esmeodmv. Hell the what!

SATURDAY 27 JANUARY 2007

Ok. Here's the drill. I ran out of hard drive space so I can't make any files, it'll take too much. Space that is. So I can't update anything waaaaah... So. That's why I haven't updated.

Oh, PS - I just found out I needed glasses...

ANOTHER SATURDAY, THIS ONE 9 JUNE 2007

Well. All of my fics are on semipermanent hiatus becuase I want to rewrite all of them except the really random ones. F.O.t.K. especially needs some serious re-writing and some TLC :D since I only just figured out what I want it to end as, however it finally has something resembling a plot, and it will tie in to a semi-fan-of-fan-fic-sequel thing of another story that is not mine, only I can't remember if I got permission. Can you see how scatterbrained I am yet? However I have an idea for a Chrestomanci fic taking place directly after the end of Witch Week and also an idea for a collaboration PPC thing and one I'd do myself (hello Taren and Nerat) for which I'm borrowing some characters from the book/graphic novel/webcomic/thing I'm working on. Oh, and I have homework. Can you see why I'm so busy? ...What, you want something to read? Fine. Read the Wotch or El Goonish Shive, or Alien Dice or the Dreamland Chronicles, or Aether. I'm too lazy to look up all their URLs because it happens to be a saturday so I'm planning on kind of wasting it by some definitions, but Google them and you should find them. And now for some more of those meme-like things you copy and paste! Yay!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaay I am HYPEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile. That is just mean

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a crush on somebody, but you are afraid to say anything about it, then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Don't worry, your secret is safe! Greenpool's loyalty, Brooksilver, Catland Creator, Dreaming-Cat-369 (and quite possibly the person in question)

Bless the child, Argetlam.

-Eldest by Christopher Paolini

" 'Probably'? So you're asking me to trust my life to steel wool and peanut butter?"
"It's poisoned peanut butter..."
"Cal, I don't care if it's nuclear peanut butter!"
--Lace and Cal in Peeps by Scott Westerfeld.