Warning- this profile is random and might offend people without a sense of humor, people who don't like other people having opinions and Polititions. if you are any of the above please to not read further. If you are not but still find this profile offensive then do not complain or say that i didn't warn you because i did- i may even be offensive to fellow british subjects. Thou hast been warned.

In the deepest, darkest corner of the Underworld lies a cave. In this cave a consciousness lies, waiting for a mortal to aid its rising. Welcome, mortal. I have been expecting you.

Shut up Kronos! (blasts him and scatters him across the universe) We've talked about this. Sorry about that - he's been trying to find another person to bring him back to destroy Olympus. Anyway; I'm Voldy's Worst Nightmare, RRA girl and insane fan of the Percy Jackson Series! Welcome to my little patch of FanFiction!

About me

i look like myself, i have a life, i go to school, i have a family and i have friends.

wasn't that interesting?

actally about me

Fanfiction name: Voldy's Worst Nightmare

Previously: Diamondchild

real name: (Suspicious) Why do you want to know?

age: depends on which time I'm in; in some times I'm not even born :P

birthday: 15th October

fave sites: www.Fanfiction.net, www.Fictionpress.com.

name on Fictionpress: Same as on here - Voldy's Worst Nightmare

siblings: Mystical-magickal-wytch.

friends: Annabelle Marie Ruby Potter.

people i think are awesome: F-14 Ace, Emerald Tiara, Padfoot and Stacey, Premza Witch of Wierdos, TravelingGossip

favourite saying: "the more you study, the more you learn. the more you learn, the more you forget. so why study?"

hobbies: reading, writing, drawring, playing the piano, riding my bike, going on my rollerblades and singing.

Fabourite book: Sweep, harry potter, skellig, unicorn chronicles, abhorsen, sabriel, lirael, Xanth, pern, HIS DARK MATERIALS! eragon, Tunnels, Deeper (i read too much!), Scarlett, the gift series, LOTR (i tried but failed to read the second one after just about surviving the wandering-off-at-tangents in the first :P)

favourite programmes: Blackadder, stargate SG1, MERLIN (Squeeeee!!), Doctor who, torchwood, Sarah Jane adventures, Law and Order

favourite films: POTC, LOTR, harry potter movies (yes all of them though i don't understand why harry didn't just accio the golden egg...), X-men (i'm sad, i know) and stormbreaker (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!! SOO COOL!) and Twilight... is okay i guess... OH! and STAR TREK! YAY!!

pet hates: VALENTINE'S DAY!! (grrness upon it!), exams (Eugch! "Pulls a face")

Pets: Cat; Lucy, Dogs; Benji and Pippin, and some fish (and frogs!)

favourite pairings

eragon pairings

Eragon/anyone but Arya - hello? they don't suit each other!

Murtagh/Me - just because.

Nasuada/King Orin - just because I can and it's fricken' hilarious

harry potter pairings

harry/OC (Preferably one who drives him insane

ron/hermione

Oliver/Me (i am a die-hard Oliver wood fan)

Cedric/My sister (or else she will kill me)

scrimgeor/umbridge/Fudge - just because she's ridiculous and so are they - perfect pairing!

Harry/Draco (only if well-written, because i have seen some very funny Harry/Draco fics before. :P)

profile thingies

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (LOOOOOOONG list; Eragon, Harry Potter, Skellig, PotC, horses, animals in general, the list goes on... and on... and on...)

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are proven to be a "mythical" creature copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are crazy and pround of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have never had a boyfriend and don't plan to just yet then copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your pen-name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, Miss Apple , warm summer days, Diamondchild

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. or if, like me, you aren't american and ould also be laughing. XD

If you have an army of blue snails with battleaxes at your command, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

It you have ever tripped over a cordless phone ,copy and paste this into your profile (ehehe, whoops)

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (ARMY CADETS cough, CHAVS! (I think that's preps in America.))

if you have ever mimicked a chav/prep then copy this into your profile. BRRAP MAN!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile. LAURA/BOO/BOB!

Murtagh is cool, if you are part of the Murtagh fanclub copy and paste this into your profile.

Arya is a sue, if you agree and wish to join the anti-sue organisation copy this into your profile.

ERAGON IS SUCH A BABY!! if you agree that he should start growing up copy this into your profile.

If you think that some people are hypocrites (Politicians, for starters) copy this into your profile.

If you are a big fan of F-14 Ace's parody works (e.g: Eragon vs the ultimate evil 1 and 2) then copy this into your profile to express your admiration!

I am SINGLEANDPROUD! If you are SINGLEANDPROUD copy this into your profile!

Homophobia is WRONG! If you think that Homophobics violate the rights of humans copy this into your profile!

If you know someone who is gay, copy this into your profile, if you know more than one, state the number; 3

extra stuff that you should know...

my faveorite words are Vamouse(sp?) and Blippip i love the potter puppet pals. here is the proof.

www.potterpuppetpals.com

it's funny

HATE IT!! HATE IT!!

homwork!! eugh!!

hmm... err... i know!! THE DRAGONOLOGY BOOK!! it SOOOOOOOO takes the mick out of dragons. GRRR

spiders (only if there on the bed post)

snakes (only if they can kill you)

Hated Pairings

eragon pairings

Eragon/ Arya (Hate it! no wait. HATE HER!)

Murtagh/Nasuada - C'mon! they DON'T WORK TOGETHER! they haven't even met! although, i have seen some funy ones, which I tend to turn a blind eye to the fact that it's Mursuada for :P

this may sound sick but i've seen it done before:

eragon/izlanzadi (shudders)

harry potter pairings

harry/ginny (HATE IT!!)

Harry/Hermione

Ron/Harry

Sirius/harry

boy/house elf

girl/house elfi'm not homophobic, but Harrius is wrong, because Sirius is old enough to be harry's dad, and Harron is just wrong... especially seeing as Ron is crazy about Hermione. i have seen some rather hilarious Harry/Draco fics, which made me nearly die laughing :P

Torchwood

Janto

Gwack

Gwackto

Towen

and now for the quotes:

"when life gives you lemons, throw them back and laugh" inheritence forums, a person's signature.

"taste the rainbow, eat crayons." a skin on bebo

"OMG!! that scared the hell out of me!!" me when watching doctor who- Blink. (the one with the weeping angels)

"Anyway, got to go, things happening... 4 things and a ... umm... lizard." The doctor, doctor who- Blink.

"Don't Blink, Don't even Blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't Look away don't touch them and DON'T BLINK!! good luck." The doctor, doctor who- Blink.

"you know, i really like nuts. nuts? nuts? i love nuts. peanuts, walnuts any kind of nuts. they drive me crazy. crazy? crazy? i was crazy once. they locked me in a big white room. i loved that room. i DIED in that room. they buried me six feet underground. there were two flowers there. one grew up, one grew down. they drove me nuts. nuts? nuts? i love nuts..." once again, inheritance forums. a person's signature.

"Meganschmerzen! a pain that you get from eating Megans! because let's face it, we don't taste very nice." my friend Megan

"right, now we need a name...

CAFFIENE!

works for me!" Aachen trip, my sister went there.

"Let's play truth or dare, or let's just play dare because no one tells the truth anymore." someone on bebo.

" Lily pads are evil, they just don't know it. And they watch you with their cunning little eyes, and cackle to themselves when they tangle up your fishing line... I just know it!" an awesome person on the Murtagh fangirl forum.

"if you think i'm crazy now, you should see me when i have a suger high!" me.

"you laugh at me because i'm different, i laugh at you because you're all the same" Art teachers class room roof, on the inside. she lets people draw on it in year 11.

"stop reading the ceiling and get on with your work!" also in art teachers classroom.

"yes, i know i'm crazy... live with it." me.

"orange juice owns your soul!" sweep, random parodies. by nofurylikewiccansscorned

"slytherins are NOT people, feel free to kill them at will." gred and forge's manual for life by The Dread Pirate Vladimir

"I AM THE DRAGON EXPERT AND I SAY THIS BOOK IS LIES!! ALL LIES!!" me after I read the dragonology book.

"and now for the news... THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!" Corpse Bride.

"i'm mr.dumbness. come to my house for tea or whatever" on to closet world! by nullum gratitum

"Aragorn: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails; when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day--an hour of wolves and shattered shields as the age of Men comes crashing down--but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth--I bid you stand! Men of the West!"

"Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way...

Gandalf: End?... No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all changes to silver glass...And then you see it.

Pippin: What? Gandalf?...See what?

Gandalf: White shores... And beyond. The far green country under a swift sunrise.

Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.

Gandalf: No...No it isn't."

"Theoden: ...Forth and fear nodarkness!... Arise, arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered...A sword day, a red day 'ere the sun rises!... Ride now, ride now, ride, ride for ruin and the world's ending!... Death!

Rhohirrim: Death!

Theoden: Death!

Merry: Death!

Eowyn: Death!

Theoden: Death! Forth Eorlingas!... Charge!"

"Gimli: I never though I'd die fighting side by side with an elf

Legolas: How about side by side with a friend?

Gimli: Aye. I could do that."

"Gimli: That's a thing unheard of. An elf go under ground, when a dwarf dare not? I'll never hear the end of it."

"Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you have a chance to do the right thing.

Jack Sparrow: I love those moments...I like to wave at them as they pass by."

"Gimli:Nobody tosses a dwarf."

"Gimli: Toss me.

Aragorn: What?

Gimli: I can not jump such a distance. Toss me. One more thing, don't tell the elf.

Aragorn: Not a word."

"Gimli: Couldn't you have picked a better spot?

Gimli: What's going on out there?

Legolas: Would you like me to describe to you? Or shall I go find a box?

Gimli: Heh heh heh"

"Faramir: And who are you? His body guard?

Sam: His gardener."

"Sam: (sobbing) Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?

Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... nor the touch of grass. I'm... naked in the dark. There's... There's nothing. No veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him... with my waking eyes.

Sam: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all. Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!"

"Aragorn: Let's hunt some orc."

"Captin Jack Sparrow: Look what I've got! (adopts sing-song voice) I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it?"

"Gimli: Certainty of death, small chance of success! What are we waiting for?"

"The worlds shortest story; once upon a time there was an end." me.

"say say, eunachee. snip snip." Jack- SORRY!- CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

“They look funny. They talk funny. They act funny. They taste funny. And they fight like girls“- a dragon’s opinion of a human

"Eragon: Ooooh! Shiny blue sword!
Saphira: Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuue...
Galbatorix: These people are idiots.
Eragon: Shut up! At least we don't have stupid nicknames like Galby, or Galbasaurus!
Galbatorix: Where did you hear Galbasaurus?
Eragon: I made it up... BUT IT STILL COUNTS!"- random stupid conspiracy theories on inheritance forums

“Gon-gon? WTF?!”- My reaction to a random nickname for Eragon.

“Weeeeee! Rory-roo!”- My random nickname for Roran.

“Galbatron, Galbasaurus, Galbachicken, Galbacheeseburger, Galbanumpty, Galby-roo!“- More random nicknames for Galby.

“I’m Charlie,

And I’m Aimee,

And we’re SAFFY’S ANGELS!”- Charlie and Aimee going hyper.

"Seven for the dwarf lords... so they would stop complaining that we never send them birthday presents." random LOTR piccie. it's really funny=D

"O.K, i am now going to touch every statue i come across to see if they send me somewhere back in time!" me after watching Blink.

"'use this, when he comes at you with his sword raised, act on instinct.'

'My instinct is to kill.'

'don't worry about it, Lanor's the best Swordsman i know.'

'you can't have met many decent swordsmen then.'" Lealin and Kreal, Chapter 3 of hunted gift. Hunted gift is my story that i'm writing. Chapter 3 is called, "Learning to fight.".

"Wonderful things happen when you press the on/off button." my sister to my dad after he couldn't get my gran's old iMac to start up.

"Where did the two bald gentlemen go?" the king in 'Secrets of Alchemy', a play my friend had to see for her Drama GCSE.

"He's proper crispy duck now!" my friend Jacob when we were all rehearsing the last few scenes of Blue Remembered Hills for our GCSE performance

"Gisbourne: you're marrying that thing?

Voldy: "produces chainsaw" do you want to rephrase that while you still have your health? "revvs chainsaw"

Gisbourne: Umm... forget i said it.

Voldy: Wise decision" long story... the RRA forum. basics of survival: NEVER insult an RRA girl with a chainsaw :)

"My motto for life: it doesn't take long to remind a man where his 'jewels' are" me... several times

"When there's a will, i want to be in it" A facebook flair.

"If you're reading this, you're still alive... good for you!" again, a flair

"Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. so study hard and be evil" another flair

"8 billion points from Slytherin because Snape's nose is bothering me." another flair... i have a lot of these.

"That was a mean, low, sneaky, underhanded trick! And I'm quite pleased with myself." yes - another flair

"Why kill them with kindness when you can use an axe?" another flair... and me, actually... scaring a friend of mine before i discovered this flair

"i think therefore i'm dangerous." Flair again.

"five hundred thousand points from gryffindor!" for once, not flair (although there is one!) this is from potter puppet pals.

"Is it a young adult vampire romance novel?" Ron Weasley in Potter Puppet Pals: Snape's Diary. very funny and clever twilight reference!

"I see no good reason to act my age!" both me and a flair. don't ask.

"'Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister'

'Yes, we know who you are'" best doctor who quote of all time! with the exception of -

"Hey! i'm the doctor! i can save the universe using a kettle and some string and look at me! i'm wearing a vegetable!" - this one. awesomeness incarnate.

"Je-fu-fu... Dun-HAM... Dot COM!" Peanut... awesomeness.

"If Bella ends up with Edward... i get the hot werewolf!" i just thought this one was funny... although the description of the werewolf is very accurate...

"Drink Coffee! do stupid things faster and with more energy!" another flair.

"I don't know what scares me more... that your mam worked you out ten years before you did or that fourteen-year-old Ianto Jones used the phrase 'Poptastic Danceability' without getting beaten up," Torchwood. another awesome programme... RTD SHOULD NEVER HAVE KILLED IANTO!!

"'No'

'Explain yourself'

'I said No'

'What is the meaning of this negative?'

'it means No'" Daleks do not understand the meaning of no, do they?

"Whoever likes twilight clearly hasn't read the Night World Series yet..." a flair. very true, but i like both... and Darren Shan... i'm a very rounded human being!

"'Any particular reason why you enjoy bullying me so much?'

'because it's fun'

'No, Perry, it's not fun, you only think it's fun because you're such a moron you have nothing better to do with your life than to pick on girls.'

'... shut up'

'see? i out-smarted you so you told me to shut up because you have nothing better to say'

'shut up you ginger witch.'

'one. not ginger, thank you, blonde. two, not a witch in the green-skinned sense of the word. witch was used to describe anyone who was not of the christian religion.'

'shut up.'" i was... debating... the concept of bullying with a moron in my year who has dedicated his school career to making my life miserable... doesn't work! i just annoy him more.

"Herecy doesn't exist. it doesn't exist because a heretic is someone who does not follow a specific religion. in the opinion of a vast majority of religions, anyone who does not follow their way of life is a Heretic. therefore, Herecy is based on opinion, therefore it is an idea. ideas don't physically exist, therefore Herecy doesn't exist." me confusing my family and friends with my awesome powers of thought.

"I'm a girl! no, no. there's something important - i'm, i'm (TARDIS Judders) HA! Crashing!" 11th Doctor!

"ensign authorisation code, nine five wictor wictor two" Chekov from Star Trek - i love him, he's adorable! :P

"Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhiiimmmmmerrrrrr!" David Tennant as the Doctor - will miss you David!

"Can I have an apple? all i can think about... apples... like a craving... that's new i've never had cravings before,"

"Epilogue of 'The Pandorica Opens': "So now what?" A random alien asks from the back of the many off-world soldiers that had gathered to watch the Doctor be sealed away in the Pandorica. There was a pause as the aliens regarded each other, before... "Exterminate!" "Delete!" "Fire!" "Attack!" "Destroy!"

So much for the Alliance..." My friend Maple after watching 'The Pandorica Opens'

"I don't know it's a thing in progress! Respect the thing!" Matt Smith as the doctor in one of the angel episodes, the second one; I can't remember the name :P

"'What are you?'

'Funny you should ask that; you'd think most people would recognise a badger when they saw one,'" Narnia, Prince Caspian, Caspian and Trufflehunter.

"'you are a mouse'

'you people have no imagination!'" Reepicheep and a Telmarine in Prince Caspian.

"'Get that out of my face,'

'It's not in your face it's in my hand'

'Get what's in your hand out of my face,'" Watson and Holmes in the Holmes film.

"HELLO SWEETIE" the writing on the oldest cliffs in history in 'The Pandorica Opens'

"'You graffitied the oldest cliffs in history'

'you didn't answer your phone'" the Doctor and River in 'The Pandorica Opens'

"AND JUST FOR THE RECORD THERE ISN'T ANYTHING EFFEMINATE ABOUT ME OK??? #ding!# OOOOOH!!! risottorisottorisotto!!!!" the Ghost of Christmas Present in Nan's Christmas Carol - he's a legend :P

conspiricies for fanatics that i think you should know about

harry potter

Snape is gay.

dumbledore is dumb

Crabbe/Goyle, need i say more?

Dumbledore has drugs in his sherbert lemons.

more soon!

Eragon

the Ra'zac are hamathrodytes (sp?)

Galby is a pothead.

more soooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Crossover

Voldy and Galby are in a homosexual relationship. (me and my sister made this one up)

random spin-off song for as long as until i can be bothered to think up a new one.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

and Harry is too!

But the Roses are wilting

the Violets are dead,

the Sugarbowl's empty,

like Malfoy's head

last one

Malfoy is our king, Malfoy is our king,

'cause he always lets Harry win,

that's why Skye and Daisy sing,

MALFOY IS OUR KING!!

Malfoy was not born a king,

he spent his life inside a bin,

that's why Skye and Daisy sing

MAAAAAAAAALLLLFOY IIIIIIIIIIIS OOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRR KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

incredibly random song

old king cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he!

he got up in the middle of the night to go to the lavet'ry

the door was wide and open,

the lights were dark and dim,

there was a crash and then a splash,

oh my god! he's fallen in!

random websites you should visit, just for randomness.

www.shurtugal.com

www.potterpuppetpals.com

www.mugglenet.com

www.mugglespace.com

stories and statuses

1) Draco's b-days= in progress, next up is VOLDY! on Haitus

2) HP and the murderous author= also in progress. next up is a brick etc. have finished the chappie at last!! ahem, now i have to find it. on Haitus

3) the raya adventures.= in progress, chappy 3 up! I got my first negative comment. from someone called 'HeartFout and the voices in his head'. may i just make it perfactly clear, Heartfout, that you need to give me a reason as to why you hate that story. then I know what to change. unless it's the randomness. also, in answer to your question about how i wrote so many sues into that fic: BY USING A KEYBOARD!! also, sues? sues? what are sues in this fic? Raya and the gang are NOT perfect in any way whatsoever, and Raya is always getting into trouble. i got into trouble once. i said 'puke' in tutor one day. everyone thought it as funny, except the teacher... On Haitus

4) Eragon and the spray paints= chappie 2 is up! chappie 3 will have Eragon and Murty back together!! YAY!! and then there's the green highlighter again... On Haitus

randomness

HAIL THE ALMIGHTY SPOON! DESTROY THE FORK, FOR THE FORK IS ENEMY OF THE SPOON REPUBLIC!!

HAIL THE SPOON REPUBLIC!!

Brom's last seven words were:

"listen, dude, seriousely. get a breath mint."

The Fic awards

most funny MSN parody fic author is: scorp890

most random authoress is: Annabelle marie ruby potter

funniest sweep parody: the random parodies by nofurylikewiccanscorn.

Funniest Eragon senseless violence award: F-14 Ace- Eragon verses the ultimate evil 1 and 2

Best Eragon Galby daughter Sue fic: Taisaya-Ryu

Funniest two-girls-go-to-Alageasia-and-annoy-the-crap-out-of-everyone fic: Emerald Tiara

MORE SOON!

W tever you do, DON'T CLICK ON T S!!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE! 19th FEB 07

THIS WEEK WILL NOT HAVE ANY STORIES POSTED BECAUSE IT'S EXAM WEEK! (GRRNESS UPON EXAM WEEK!)

i'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! no more exams for the rest of the year!

below are things i like;

Titanic, Fighter jets of any discription (hehe, i'm an air cadet), purple, Chocolate, fanfiction (DUH!), stories in general, sugary sweets in general

below are things i don't like;

J. Bruce Ismay (don't start me on a rant about how much i hate his guts), the iraq war, Salem witch trials, witch trials in general, homework, exams

below is a list of things that SATs stand for;

Stupid Annoying Test,

S&£y Annoying Tests,

Stupid Annoying Teachers,

Some Aggresive Torture,

more soon!

And the random word is...

SPOODLESPORKNOODLE

to join the zombies click here

to play infections click here

JOIN THE FIGHT! STAND AGAINST THE HUMAN/NONHUMAN PAIRING BY JOINING THIS FORUM:

http://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The_Antihumananimal_Pairing_League/34389/

HELP 'HARRY POTTER'S FAVOURITE FORUM' ACHIEVE WORLD DOMINATION NOW! CLICK;

http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/4854/1860676/32/#3540135

PLEASE NOTE: I do not tend to update my fanfictions... at all... for ages, so please bare with me when i have a fanfic posted.

ALSO PLEASE NOTE: I am a prous member of the RRA... mess with the girls and we come after you... with baseball bats... and squirrels... you have been warned.

On the RRA, I am married to: Merlin, Midshipman Wellard off Hornblower, Oliver Wood, Killian from the Wicca series, Prince Caspian, Archer from Robin hood, and a vulcan character from Paula545's fic in progress, that i invented as my character's love interest (My character is Kit :P), Toby Zed from doctor who's the impossible Planet and the Satan Pit, Dorian Gray from the latest Dorian Gray movie, Alec from Twilight and Chekov from the star Trek 2009 movie. i have also claimed several other hot people including Ash Redfern. hands off! he's MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

important notice!!

i am officially warning you all that i have a tendency to update like crazy, then get a new idea and leave the old fic and start a new one. as you can probably see the amount of fics i've completed are minimal. i'm working on it!

List your top twelve favorite Doctor Who in no particular order: (okie dokie! this is gonna be fun XD)

1. Eleventh Doctor

2. Ianto Jones (he’s in the one where Davros steals the earth IT COUNTS!!!! :P)

3. Rory Williams

4. Tenth Doctor

5. Donna Noble

6. The Daleks (just ‘cause I can XD)

7. Amy Pond

8. Ninth Doctor

9. Ballacafalatta (yeah I can’t spell his name but he’s AWESOMES!!!!!)

10. Captain Jack

11.River Song

12. The Master (I'm sorry, I had to. xD)

Have you ever read a five/eleven fic before?

#sniggers# you’re kidding right? They’ve never even met each other and Donna’s married!

Do you think three is hot?

Meh, he’s okay, but he’s more Mapley’s type than mine :P

What would happen if twelve got one pregnant?

#bursts out laughing# Oh man how did THAT one happen? Was The Chair Of Epic Bondage used? Was it a fusion of half their DNA each? OMG think of the little cute psycho babies XD this is an AWESOME idea! XD

Do you remember any good fics about nine?

Actually no I haven’t found any about the little red spiky awesome cyborg XD

Would seven and two make a good couple?

I don’t think so somehow… Ianto’s a little to preoccupied with Jack’s Package at the minute anyhoo XD

Four/Eight or Four/Five?

Ten/Eight is kind of impossible I’m afraid so ten/Donna works XD

What would happen if seven discovered three and eight were in a relationship?

#bursts in dramatically# “WHAT the devil is going on – OMGMYEYES!!!!!” XD

Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic

A chance encounter with a crazy, all powerful fan-girl with a penchant for crack fics results in Ianto falling head over heels in love with Supreme – What’s Jack’s answer? STOP THAT WEDDING!

Has there been a one/eight fluff?

O_o dude, black whole the size of Belgium much? XD

Are there any story on your list about eleven?

Not yet no, but there might be… good idea! XD

1 and 7 are in a happy relationship until 9 runs off with 7. 1, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 2.

Eleven and Amy (covers ears to block out fan-girl screaming) are in a happy relationship until Ballacafalata runs off with Amy (dude… he, like, died? O_o). Eleven (and Rory, obviously), heartbroken has a hot one-night stand with River, a brief, unhappy affair with the Master, follows the wise advice of Donna and finds true love with Ianto. (who I REFUSE to accept is dead but dude, he’s dating Jack! XD)

Title/Warning for above fic?

WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE????

5,4,7,1, and 3 are playing truth or dare. 5 asks 7, and 7 says truth. 5 asks who 7 loves and 7 after some prodding from 3, confessed their true loves with 4. 4 does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with three. 7 is heartbroken and seeks comfort in 1, while 3 and 4 run into the sunset together. However, 5 is secretly in love with 1 and becomes so jealous of 7, who after the comfort with 1, becomes in a relationship with 1, and so 5 decides to murder 7 but is stopped in time by the police officer 9 and is sent to prison, allowing 1 and 7 to continue their relationship.

Donna, Ten, Amy, Eleven and Rory are playing truth or dare. Donna asks Amy, and Amy says truth. Donna asks who Amy loves and after some prodding from Rory, confesses her true love for Ten (ehehe, oops? XD) Ten does not share the feeling (he’s too in love with Rose, obviously), and is in fact in a secret relationship with Rory (...WTF?). Amy is heartbroken and seeks comfort in Eleven (fair play, she hit on him before XD), while Ten and Rory run into the sunset together (#giggles insanely# that’ll never work XD) However, Donna is secretly in love with Eleven (for reasons unknown because she, too, is married to some dude), and becomes so jealous of Amy, who after the comfort of Eleven, becomes in a relationship with Eleven (HELLS YES!), and so Donna decides to murder Amy but is stopped in time by the police officer Ballacafalatta (who died previously and is a ghost XD) and is sent to prison, allowing Eleven and Amy to continue their relationship.

... Well that doesn’t work at all XD

Title/Warning for above

WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE??????? The sequel.

Suggest a title for a one/eleven Hurt/Comfort fic.

Um… “wash the pain away” ? I dunno I don’t write hurt fics XD

What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?

Ten seducing Eleven? O…kay. Um…

The tenth doctor ends up stuck in a parallel universe where Matt Smith (a.k.a: the eleventh doctor) is shooting a scene. As an after-affect of inter-universe travel, ten becomes a lot more like Jack and somehow seduces the poor, unfortunate actor with a fez, a Stetson and a pair of handcuffs.

… HOW THE HELL DID I COME UP WITH THAT????? I’ve been spending too much time around Paula and her D/M fantasies XD

Do any of your friends read seven/nine?

Dude is that even possible? O_o

If you wrote a song-fic about 12, what song would you use?

'For Your Entertainment'. Or 'Welcome To The Master plan'. Both by Adam Lambert. And it would have to be an Eleven/Master song-fic, because otherwise Paula would kill me XD

6, 3, 4, and 11 are at a bar when 3 makes a drunken confession that 3 is in love with 1. 6 is secretly in love with 3 and plots to abduct 3 to keep 3 away from 1, but is stopped by 4 and 11. However, 6 is so crazed by this point that 6 needs constant watching to make sure 6 doesn't go after 3 again, and 4 and 11 volunteer to do this. As they work together, 4 and 11 develop feelings for each other. They are so distracted by this that 6 escapes and goes on a rampage. Just in time to save 3 and 1 from untimely deaths, 7 magically appears and vanquishes 6 forever.

The Daleks (WTF?), Rory, Ten and River are at a bar when Rory makes a drunken confession he is in love with Eleven (Don't tell Amy...). The Daleks are secretly in love with Rory (Again… WTF????) And plots to abduct Rory to keep him away from Eleven, but is stopped by Ten and River. However, the Daleks are so crazed by this point (so, they’re their normal selves) that the Daleks need constant watching to make sure they don’t go after Rory again, and Ten and River volunteer to do this. As they work together, Ten and River develop feelings for each other (“Hallucinogenic lipstick, I suspect...” says Maple as she and I watch this unfolding from above). They are so distracted by this that the Daleks escape and go on a rampage (this is normal!). Just in time to save Rory and Eleven from untimely deaths, Amy magically appears and vanquishes the Daleks forever (and then Maple picks them up, tells them off for being so badly behaved and sends them to their base without their supper, ‘cause she’s the Dalek goddess and so can do whatever she likes XD).

That… was the NUTTIEST plotline I’ve ever seen! OMG WRITE IT!!!! XD

Title/Warnings for the above fic?

Don't read if you value your sanity. Seriously.

How would 8 react if they found out that 5 and 9 were meeting for a threesome with 2?

How would Nine react if he found out that Donna and ballacafalatta were meeting for a threesome with Ianto?

It’s not him I’m worried about... how would JACK react?

Six sees 9 naked. His/her reaction?

The Daleks see Ballacafalatta naked.

"EXTERMINATE!!!!!!!”

Would 12&6 make a good couple?

Ohmigod CURSE OF FATAL DEATH in CANON?????? Dalek bumps #snigger#

What would you do if you found 1 and 4 in a closet with a rubber ducky?

Stare for a few minutes (using x-ray vision so they don’t know I can see them) and then burst in dramatically and shout “WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?” before stealing the ducky and running away cackling.

3 kills 7, what does 3 say?

Rory kills Amy?

He actually did when he was plastic so… “NO!!!!! NO!!!!” and then fan-girls appear in a purple box and are all “don’t worry, darling; death owes us a favour… or however many we like because he’s terrified of us XD”

Suggest a title for a 8 and 9 fluff story

Nine and Ballacafalatta? “WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE? Episode 3”

What would be a good pick up line for 12 to use on 4?

"Say my name. Say it."

"Master."

(sorry, Maple, but there was no way I could use ANYTHING else for ANYTHING involving the Master XD)

#wish it was me and not the tenth doctor there XD#

3 finds 4&7 kissing. What would 3 do?

Rory would be peeved, some fangirls would be squeeing happily and I would be sat in the corner laughing at the expression on Rory’s face XD

You find 10 going through your closet. What would you do?

#distinctly unimpressed with Jack# it’s been incinerated, sweetie, and you might want to run before Cam gets back… he haunts that cupboard and he said he’s gonna introduce you permanently to the afterlife if he finds another pot-plant in there

By the way, I set you up on a date with 2.

You did? #squeals excitedly# OMGTHANKYOU!!!!!!! #glomp#

What? Ianto = SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT!!!!!