I don't suppose I'll do what every one else does!

Age: Older than I've ever been, younger than I'll ever be.

Race: Half Asian, half lots of other things

Location: California

Interests: Hellsing, Legend of Zelda, Full Metal Alchemist, Lord of the Rings, Bleach, occasional amounts of interest in Kingdom Hearts (mostly organization XII)and Naturo, and some more stuff I won't bother listing.

Ah, and story wise, I usually only deal with OC's, but every once in a while, I might do somethin' different. Feel free to comment and all that shiz'. But please, leave your balls at the door.

And that's about it.

Oh yeah, and check this out if you want to see your originality in OC's. http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Crossovers I would LOVE to see: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L.O.T.R. and Hellsing (I think it fits nicely)

L.O.T.R. and Naruto (Dunno how that could work...)

L.O.T.R. and Kingdom Hearts (One or two)

L.O.T.R. and Pet Shop of Horrors? (Same problem with the Naruto crossover...)

Hellsing and Naruto (Little off sounding crossover, I admit)

Pet Shop of Horror's and Hellsing (Ooohh... cool)

Pet Shop of Horrors and Naruto (O.o Just plain weird) (what could go wrong?)

Legend of Zelda and L.O.T.R. (I think it also fits nicely)

Kingdom Hearts and Naruto (Eh... Just a random "What if" though of mine...)

Bleach and Naruto? (I wonder...)

Inuyasha and Bleach? (Hm... maybe...)

Inuyasha and Naruto? (Maybe, it could work... I think)

X-Men and Hellsing? (Saw one once, it was pretty good, actually...)

Hellsing and Full Metal Alchemist? (Same with the X-Men one)

Pairings I would like to see (yaoi):

Sasuke X Garra (Naruto)

Sasuke X Neji (Naruto)

Itatchi X Neji (Naruto)

Itachi X Garra (Naruto)

Garra X Neji? (Naruto)

Sesshomaru X Miroku (I though of this one off the top of my head...) (Inuyasha)

(Any unusual pairing in Organazation XIII and in Kingdom hearts, Axel, Rikku, Dymex, Sora, Roxas, Kari, etc. are all to easy, and common... So... Yeah. No. Or wait... Maybe Sora X MOOGLE!!)

Pairings I would like to see (incest):

Dante X Virgil (Devil may Cry)

Maybe a well written and actually remotely plausable Itachi X Sasuke? (Naruto)

Hmmmm... Sesshomaru X Inuyasha? (Now how would THAT work, I wonder?...)

Pairings I would like to see (yuri):

Hinata, maybe? Not with Sakura or Ino, of course, they're too whiney for my tastes. Maybe a crossover pairing? (Naruto)

Kim X Shego I read one that was actually pretty good, all thanks to my brother, Lunateix. :P ( Kim Possible)

Pairings I would lke to see (straight):

A good Garra X OC would be welcomed (He needs love, too) (Naruto)

Sesshomaru X Kagome's mother (I like that pairing... however unusual it is) (Inuyasha)

Renji X ?? (OC, maybe some character in bleach, not Rukia, though) ( Bleach)

Ichigo X OC? (same with Renji) (Bleach)

An ACTUALLY good Legolas X OC? (I think that may be impossible, though...) (Lord of the Rings)

Kenpachi X OC ( A GOOD OC, not a little 100lb. girl that doesn't like to get her hands dirty, blech, I think I would vomit... just some OC that's actually remotely plausable... physically AND mentally) (Bleach)

Hinata X Sasuke (I think they go nicely, with a little tweaking, though. No more stuttering, Hina-chan!) (Naruto)

Hinata X Naruto (Just to make Hinata happy) (Naruto)

Kouga X OC (Or maybe Kagome, but I think Kagome's not good enough, sometimes)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lists of Things and Ideas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I took over the world...

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.

7. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “no,” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him and then say “no.”

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push”. The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum—a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence “But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father. (In fact, I will refrain from having children, and if I do, they will never see nor meet the hero/heroine)

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. (I will, instead, record my maniacal laughter, and put it on a loop that will continuously play through out the entire structure that I am confined to, and, it will, quite controversy, be played very quietly. And echo effect would be a nice touch, wouldn't it?)

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way—even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless—my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line “No, this cannot be! I am invincible!” (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won’t require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. Or any other animal, it never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. (It's true)

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. (If I were to "loose" it, wouldn't that be just such a darned shame?...)

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he’s my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. I will, instead, go into battle, looking no different than any other soldier.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say “And here is the price for failure,” then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. That will teach him nothing, unless he has a large, bleeding heart, and if that's the case... Why is he my general?

46. If an advisor says to me “My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?” I will reply, “This,” and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper, under someone else's name (not related to mine in any way).

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess’s cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says “I’ll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, never!” I will say, “Oh well,” and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being, then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be released or used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner’s manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask “Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?” I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. Any guard that does not, will be publicly executed.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they’d better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant’s loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. And if I do, and they win, I will kill them, anyway.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk “Project Overlord” and leave it lying on top of my desk. I will keep it in my underwear drawer, unmarked, instead.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. And in a hand to hand, of sword to sword (low tech-combat), etc. fight, all personel will be encouraged to use a gun. And all pride of "fighting like a man" will be dispelled of. Immediately.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror “And he must be taken alive!” The command will be “And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical.”

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat, and, if possible finish him off while laying flat on the ground instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I’m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. (For that reason, all guards are encouraged to tell me in their personel files, privately or not, if they are straight, gay, bisexual, or lesbian)

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. “Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse.” Instead it will be more along the lines of “Push the button.”

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero’s superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it’s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. To keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

101. Finally, If the hero has me cornered, and is about to kill me, I will bring out my young child or grandchild immediately, and ask him/her to explain to formentioned child "why the mean man/woman is going to kill daddy/grandpa." (most hero's will not have the heart to explain to the "innocent" child why he is about to kill their father/grandfather) ( It works best if the child is 4-8 or so) (Once they outgrow the "cuteness"... Kill them. Thus avoiding future betrayal. Mean, we know, but remember, you took over the world, causing thousands of deaths.)

123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort

Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again Started by Amanda Lack (stars_planets_clocks), and added to by countless others(the last nineteen I wrote!)

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. ...at Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.

111. ...even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ...make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.

124. Insist that he call you Mum and let you kiss his forehead every morning before he leaves to try and dominate the world.

125. Knee him in the balls and scream "You pervert!" every time he tries to give you an order.

126. Make him watch all the Harry Potter movies with you while you repeatedly say "Daniel Radcliffe is SMOKIN!".

127. Force him to go to the Yule Ball with you and then ignore him to drool over Harry.

128. Imperious Curse all his Death Eaters into waking him up by singing "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

129. Buy him Rogain and insist that Bellatrix said he wanted it!

130. Drag him to Hogwarts and make him apologize to Harry!

131. Shoot him repeatedly and when he asks you to stop say "You can't die! Why would it bug you".

132. Put clown make-up on him while he's asleep and put a permanent sticking charm on it so he is forever stuck as "Voldy the Clown"!

133. Dye all his black robes HOT PINK!!

134. Break his nose and say "Haha you just got beat up by a muggle".

135. Insist he goes to a Britney Spears concert with you then ditch him once you get there!

136. Slip him a ProZac in his tea. See what he does

137. Clip your toe nails. Right in from of his face

138. Teepee his evil lair.

139. Serve him snake meat.

140. Force him to do yoga. Advanced Yoga.

141. Red and Gold spray Paint. His Bedroom

142. Pop ballons right next to his head.

~Rules for getting sushi~

~Restruant sushi~

1. Look for a store that specializes in sushi.

2. Make sure it has an "A" grade.

3. If you can't figure out the stores title cuz it's in Japanese characters, you're good!

4. Walk into the store, if it has non-oriental Asian staff, leave.

5. If you can watch them kill the food you're about to eat, that's a good sign.

6. If you pay them American money, get steered to your seat (floor cushions), and get served what they serve you (you don't get a choice), they don't have forks, and they serve the sushi to you on a wooden board, be happy. It's authentic.

~Grocery store sushi~

1. NEVER buy sushi from a non-Asian store. Unless your looking to kill yourself.

2. If you get to see them kill, gut, de-head and tail the fish... You're good!

3. If their yelling at you in an Asian language or broken English while waving freshly made sushi at you (or possibly beating you with it)... Buy it!

4. It should be no more than 4 per box.

~Gas station sushi~

1. ... No. Just... No...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Copy and Paste~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

--92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

Copy and paste this if you are a true narutard

You Know your obsessed with Naruto when you...

-Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
-Live by a strict diet of only ramen.
-Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.
-Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "byakugan".
-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.
-Paste a piece of paper that says "come come paradise" on the front of adult books.
-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.
-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
-Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.
-Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out.
-Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n.
-Start to call your teachers Sennin.
-Claim you're going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.
-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.
-When someone asks you who your dream girl is and you say Ino.
-Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.
-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.
-Refuse a date because you're saving yourself for Sakura.
-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.
-Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.
-Put a picture of Hinata in your wallet and tell your friends it's your girlfriend.
-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
-Can spout out a random character quotes on command.
-Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a hole in a wall with it.
-Sneak around and try to beat your grandfather.
-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".
-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.
-Read manga 24 hrs nonstop just so you can read more.
-Decide that if you can't hit a tree 1500 times then you'll jump rope 1500.
-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".

COPY AND PASTE!

Our Motto: Where there are copies, they're paste! Mmmm...paste...

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

It's obvious that flamers are really just immature people with nothing better to do. If you're mature enough to take a flame, ignore the flamer, and repress the urge to strike back, then copy and paste this in your profile, and add your name to the list: RoyalFanatic, Yoshizilla, Luigi Rules 512, Majora888888, Holix

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix Rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. (HELL YEAH!)

If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile. (HELL YEAH!)

If you think copy and paste messages in your profiles are stupid, copy and paste this into your profile. (Oh yeah!... but still fun)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.(Stormhawks are made of awesome...)

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Nah, man. I'd NEVER do that...)

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer! (Whoo!)

If you love Yoshi Kart and support it, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish to join the KILL THE EMPIRE cult and be uber cool, copy this into your profile with the message "I am in the KILL THE EMPIRE cult"

If you're bored, and wish to subject others into wasting about 5 seconds of their lives, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. (OH YEAH!)

98 percent of teens have smoked or tried smoking weed. If you are one of the 2 that knows this is complete BS, copy this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile. (twice, and at the band festival. I was in the front row, too)

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! (and a wall)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (several, actually)

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy this into your profile.(who hasn't?)

If you think that donuts are the main reason many people go to work, paste this on your profile.

A good question: What would Bill Clinton be if former first lady Hillary Clinton gets elected for president? If you're curious about this question and you want to know the answer, paste this on your profile and hope someone will answer it. The first Man.

If you think that Pit is the best character in SSBB of all-time and pawns all the other unworthy characters, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Link is the best character in all of the super smash bros. and pawns all the other unworthy characters, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (I've never lost an arguement wih myself...)

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal eletrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile, damn it!

If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this into your profile. (retarded and waaaay overblown, but still kool) (them and their animal abuse...)

If you are happy that the Pokemon Trainer is in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know that August 13, 2007 is the 16th anniversary of the beloved Super Mario World, copy and paste this into your profile. (I do now)

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! (you're just jelous because the voices talk to ME!)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. (but being cool is still pretty cool)

If you managed to copy and paste too many things, then copy and paste this into your friggin' profile. (hellz yeah!)

If you want me to shut up now, copy and paste this into your f-ing profile.

If you think that Majora should be set free and alowed to take over the world, copy this into your profile so that once I am finished reviving him, he won't tie you to the sun.

I have enlisted Link and Zelda & showed them the error of their ways. They will now help me revive Majora!

YAY!! I have finished reviving Majora and have healed my sole by re-attaching the dark half that was sealed away millions of years ago. Join me or DIE!

I AM MAJORA!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Happily ever after is a story that's only seven twenty-thirds done.

If you believe in pink, I believe in the right to bear arms.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

I think I could be madly in like with you.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

~~ Current Projects~~

~~Hellsing stories:

Shackles: Going to eventually get off my butt and redo the first chapter or two, because they suck so hard.

~~LOTR:~~

Memories: Updated solely to get rid of fangirl feelings.

~~X-Men:~~

Rats: Eventually going to rewrite the chapter to change the gender to male.

~~Zelda:~~

Reason: Maybe if I get inspiration I'll write.

~~Everything Else:~~

Brain warmers and idea-getter-ridders don't need updates.

~~~Stuff that Might be Posted~~~

Being Human – Naruto

Naruto (descendant of first Hokage), first Hokage sealed two-tailed cat demon, demon comes back to village, can talk with Kyubii, bonds with Naruto and Sasuke, yaoi? Wears collar with seal on it, can only be taken off by one with blood of Hokage in veins, (blood transfusion = power over her?), perverted, playful. Relations with Itachi/Kakashi? Orochimaru involved? Plot pending.

Makings of Insanity – DMC

Vampire, club called Night’s Crusade, plot pending.

The Prince and the Mermaid – LOTR

More adult version of “The Little Mermaid,” Legolas/Aragorn’s descendants = Prince?

The Protégé – Hellsing

Intelligent, witty, loyal as a dog, levelheaded, and a violent streak. -mental disorder? - Yuri, plot pending.

- X-men

Vampire in mansion, Wolverine-omance? Ties with Magneto? Plot pending.

- Zelda

Girl thrown into Zelda universe on Malon’s ranch. There for a reason, Gannon needs her for something-or-other.

- Zombie Power

-Valerie?- Cross, used as debt payment for father’s gambling addiction at -twelve?- Necklace of older sisters ashes (talks to?)/ collar?(mary-sue-ish (watch it)) Boss’s –Lady’s Man?/pretty boy?- permanent bodyguard, Aloof, mysterious, levelheaded, keen, follower, trusting/gullible?, fickle, mother died at younger brother’s birth, father and younger brother dead –told by Elwood/Wolfina during fight scene?- graveyard scene? Doesn’t join group, thinks immortality would be boring. Sara Cross (older sister), Jack Cross (younger brother – would be Elwood’s age? (if still living)), George Cross (father), 19-23, 173 cm, likes candy, puzzles, riddles, and playing with long hair –Gamma/Wolfina scene?-, hates things out of her control, roller coasters, and anything pickled; type AB (blood). Joins with doctor?

-FMA

Annabella Arkay Mustang, Roy’s cousin/neice, 13-17, meets with scar (breaks into apartment – on run from military/homunculi?), in central, Al-omance?

-FMA

Former chimera test subject (secret military- as child/pre-teen? (4-7-12)), half+ Ishbalin, 18-28, tattoo/brand on spine (is test info), top floor apartment, scar found on rainy day unconscious? chased by military/homunculi (hurt badly?), in central (lion(claws, teeth, fur, courage), alligator(scales, teeth, stealth, patience), owl(wings(malformed), eye(s),patience, wisdom, level head), cat (eye(s), teeth, claws, fur, ears/tail?), rabbit(ears, fur, skittish)) hunted by scientists in charge of project (pedo?), scar-omance

-LOTR

“Born into wrong reality,” made for middle ages, comes into ME, as dog? with friend?15-24, native American?

-Sonic the Hedghog

Knuckles-omance, girl is ALREADY an animal (owl?), meets during...something, opening scene on Angel island?

Why, yes. My story notes make no sense.