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| soberloki |
Author has written 31 stories for Harry Potter. Most people call me Diaz, oddly enough because that's my name, and you may as well be a part of the excitement. Hiya. I'm a Harry Potter fan. (Of course I am. Hush.) Severus Snape is my favourite character. In fact, he is very much like my favourite characters in other fandoms, and this surprises me not even a little bit. My second-favourite character in any given fandom is usually the unwilling/unwitting hero, so yeah, Harry's my go-to guy when Severus is being a recalcitrant schnozz-beast and not letting me write him. I've got a few other characters in here, and other pairings, but you'll mostly find Snape and Harry as my star players. That being said, I write (quite short) crack for the most part, meaning what I write demonstrates my gently-bent sense of humor. Your mileage may vary, not to all tastes, blah blah blah - but I think most of the humour stuff is pretty funny. I do NOT have a beta. I welcome non-flaming constructive criticism. Encouragement and suggestions always appreciated! In short: if you're after good, porny slash (which I do love, but can't write well), you should look elsewhere. If you're looking for slices of odd on toast, step right up and have a snoop. Cheers. | |||||||
1. Birthdays reviewsONESHOT. SS, LM, DM, FG. Two of Severus' birthdays: his first at Hogwarts, and possibly his last ever. Rated for mentions of murder.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-27-07 - Severus S. & Lucius M. - Complete2. Painless reviewsONESHOT. SS.LE, mentions JP.LE, RB. Severus and Lily have unfinished business, even if Severus isn't aware of it. And then they have something more. Rated for sexual content, language, and casual contemplation of murder.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-25-07 - Severus S. & Lily Evans P. - Complete3. Misunderstood, Still Misunderstood, Curious reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLES. 3X100 words, Snarry. Harry and Snape have three conversations with third parties at different times in their relationship. Implied violence, minor character death, MPREG.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 381 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 2-4-07 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete4. A New Friend For Draco? reviewsONESHOT. Harry and Draco have been talking about spicing up their love life together. Draco has a suggestion. HP.DM, warnings for the mention of bondage.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-13-07 - Harry P. & Draco M. - Complete5. Five Things That Never Happened to Harry PotterONESHOT, AU. Five scenes that never did or will happen in canon. Warnings for character death, slashiness, and implied violence. 5 is a bit dark. HP.DM, HP.RW, SB, SS, LV.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 815 - Published: 1-10-07 - Harry P. - Complete6. Severus Snape and the Broom of Misdemeanor reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. Harry and Severus have... an unusual friendship. SS.HP, rated for sexual imagery and bodily fluids.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-9-07 - Severus S. & Harry P. - Complete7. Sacrifice reviewsONESHOT. The Trio come up with a successful plan to end Voldemort. Sadly, others die in the process. Warnings for multiple character death and Inferi.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-7-07 - Harry P. - Complete8. Protection reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. Post HBP, Harry locates Draco among the Muggles. Warnings for extreme vagueness and heavy weird. HP, DMHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-5-07 - Draco M. & Harry P. - Complete9. Good Morning, Severus reviewsONESHOT. Harry comes home drunk, and tries to do something nice for Severus. Rated for whiskeysoaked magic use, and slashiness. HP.SS.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 1-4-07 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete10. To Have An Idea Down Packed reviewsONESHOT. Harry and Snape have a few opinions in common, on what's important. Fluff and a snicker, ahoy! SS.HP.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-3-07 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete11. It Doesn't Pass Mustard reviewsONESHOT. Narcissa Malfoy gives her son a bit of advice, after he reacts badly to a surprise. Crack, of course. NM, DM.LL.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-3-07 - Draco M. & Narcissa M. - Complete12. Malice of Forethought reviewsONESHOT. Harry and Ron learn something they never wanted to know. Rated for implied torture and mental destruction. RW, HP, mentions HG and DM.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-3-07 - Harry P. & Ron W. - Complete13. The Swedish Chef reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. Gen, utter silliness. Harry forgets himself, and Snape reacts a bit hastily. HP, SS, MM.Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-1-07 - Minerva M. & Severus S. - Complete14. Eternity In An Hour reviewsONESHOT, AU, DRABBLE. Harry takes a trip, and doesn't quite come back. HP, SS. Disregards HBP entirely. Warnings for insanity and self harm.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-28-06 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete15. Dribble reviewsONESHOT. A slightly tipsy Ron gives an interview about Harry and Draco's relationship. MPREG, HP.DM. Rated for mentions of semipublic shenanigans.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-27-06 - Harry P. & Draco M. - Complete16. Her Hair reviewsONESHOT. Ginny thinks about how she's come to this moment. Warnings for character death and dark!Ginny, rated for language. HP.HG, prior HP.GW.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 434 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-26-06 - Ginny W. & Harry P. - Complete17. Sway & Stubborn Git reviewsONESHOT X 2, DRABBLES. First: Harry's first year, step by step. Second: A Snarry moment. Rated for sexual content in second drabble.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-25-06 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete18. Dave's Not Here, Man reviewsONESHOT. The Trio find a sleeping man on their way back from a skirmish with Death Eaters, and take him to Hogwarts. HP, RW, HG, Tommy Chong. Rated for mentions of drug use.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 628 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-25-06 - Harry P. & Hermione G. - Complete19. Bloody Hell reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. From McTabby's 'Summary Executions' collection, I selected a prompt. This is crackfic. Lupin is teaching Lycanthropy. Extremely silly.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 198 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-23-06 - Hermione G. & Remus L. - Complete20. Lists reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. PostWar. Auror Alastor 'MadEye' Moody reflects on the War. Warnings for multiple character death.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-22-06 - Alastor M. - Complete21. Strange Grace reviewsONESHOT, DRABBLE. Gen, AU in a big way. Harry discovers that nothing, nothing at all, is what it seems. Rated for weird, and for implied multiple character deaths.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-21-06 - Harry P. & Albus D. - Complete22. Peter Pettigrew: 10 Messages, Never Received reviewsONESHOT. Ten messages Peter wrote, which never reached their intended readers. Warnings for character death and slashiness.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-20-06 - Peter P. - Complete23. Bugger This reviewsONESHOT. Harry's had QUITE enough of this hero business, thankyouverymuch. He's got other plans, and they just might happen. Rated for slashiness and the brief mention of mansex. HP.DMHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-18-06 - Harry P. & Draco M. - Complete24. Turning LeftONESHOT. While minding his own business for a change, Lucius is confronted by a memory he thought he'd left far behind.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Published: 12-17-06 - Lucius M. & OC - Complete25. Something Good reviewsONESHOT, PostWar. An OFC discovers something amazing while wandering the castle, checking on the wards. HP.DMHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 625 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-15-06 - Harry P. & Draco M. - Complete26. Draco Malfoy, A Character Sketch reviewsONESHOT. Malfoy the Younger, in his quieter moments. Strictly gen.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 364 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-14-06 - Draco M. & Harry P. - Complete27. Remus Lupin A Character Study reviewsONESHOT. Who Remus is, in one person's view. Implied slashiness, when viewed at a tilt.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 327 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-13-06 - Remus L. & Sirius B. - Complete28. The Best Laid Plans Of Nobody At All reviewsONESHOT, INCOMPLETE SCENE. Someone bites off more than she can chew. Harry to the rescue? Seventh year AU, Harry and an OFC have an amusing chat in a tight situation.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-12-06 - Harry P. & OC - Complete29. Azeneth Petree reviewsONESHOT. Severus Snape has a strange encounter of the electronic kind. SS.HP, MPREG if you squint.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 838 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-11-06 - Severus S. & Harry P. - Complete30. Still Waters reviewsONESHOT, PostWar. Voldemort dies, and half of the Wizarding world disappears. HP, SSHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 483 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-11-06 - Harry P. & Severus S. - Complete
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