98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are a heterosexual that supports homosexuality, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have witnessed history in the making, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think 'SS4GOKUPWNAGEDRAGONDEATHLORDOFALLLOLROFL' is a good username, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are proud to call yourself weird, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've had an accident at work that wasn't your fault... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that having a profile which consits mostly of these friggin' 'copy and paste' phrases is the sign of a bad author, unintelligent or overly cautious individual, copy and paste this into your profile.

If one of the above 'copy and pastes' was a lie, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that the child of Chuck Norris and Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be the herald of the end of time itself, then go outside and look up at the magical orb in the sky. That's what we call the SUN. S-U-N.

If you ever have intellectual conversations with the strange voices in your head, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Anthurak The Chaos Lord, AA TTrue GGamer

Name: Jack

Age: Teenager

Sex: Male

Likes: Music (rock, metal and all types of Japanese), anime/manga, books, the Internet, a good puzzle game, yuri, het, others.

Dislikes: People who are anything ending in -ist (i.e. racist, sizist, sexist, etc.), people who judge others for things out of their control, people who don't help, the people who make my life hell, yaoi (I support homosexuality, but that doesn't mean I want to read about two men having sex), etc.

I have been called a great many things in my time. One of the more savoury was by one of my friends on a website called Neoseeker, where I was famous throughout the Kingdom Hearts 2 forums for successful role-playing threads. My friend, who goes by the online persona of Xaldin, called me a zombie. I only found this out when I searched my own screen name (which I use for everything. Every website, every game on the Playstation Network, everything). Someone once called me a 'momma's boy' when I killed him three consecutive times via headshot on Metal Gear Online. That was quite funny.

A challenge!

I challenge any author to write me a good NaruHina story. I do not want just any NaruHina story. I want an insane Hinata, and an intelligent, evil, manipulative Naruto. I want Hinata to worship Naruto as God, and Naruto to take full advantage of this (in the M-rated way). I want to see Konoha pay for its stupidity. I want Sakura, Sasuke and Kiba bashing. For some odd reason, I want Shino bashing, but don't include that (Note: I don't actually want Shino bashing. Please don't lynch me).

If you know of, or are going to write such a story, then PLEASE, tell me immediately! My cravings for an Evil!Naru/Insane!Hina pairing are growing to be overpowering, and soon, I'll have to write the story myself! And trust me, when you have the amount of story ideas that I do, and you're too lazy to type them up (like me) into full stories rather then just summaries, then you're wasting the ideas.

THOUGHTS CORNER!!1!!one!

Best AMV EVER!

The sound of one hand clapping depends on two things: what hand, and whether you're right or left handed. Your dominant hand makes a 'CL-' sound, and your weaker hand makes the '-AP' sound.

A tree falling in the woods DOES make a sound, because even if there's no-one around to hear it, animals will be there. If there is nothing to hear it, then yes, it's a sound, but not interpreted as sound, only as vibrations in the air (aka, sound).

London Underground is one of the funniest parodic songs ever. And it's true. We Brits have it tough, but we pulled through to rule 1/3 of the world. Ha! And the Americans? They couldn't even invent their own language like everyone else... Before anyone flames me, I have nothing against America or it's wonderful (and sometimes idiotic) inhabitants. I just laught at them. There's a difference.

Yes, Dane Cook is funny. No, you can't disagree with me!

Originally there was something here about me hating all pink haired anime characters after watching Haruno Sakura in (in-) action. However, upon further revision (and wathcing of the awesomness that is Elfen Lied), I have decided that pink haired anime characters may not deserve the awful fate of being grouped with Haruno Sakura. So, therefore, LUCY FTW! After yet more revision (and much watching Rosario+Vampire), I have decided that Haruno Sakura is no longer worthy of being called a 'pink haired anime character'. Instead, she is now 'banshee'. That is all.

I hate all American dubbing and censoring after watching Naruto in English! THE HORROR OF ANNYOING VOICE ACTORS!! THE HORROR!

Kingdom Hearts II...lol, panties.

Scrubs is the best live-action show ever. That 70s Show is a close second.

I HATE Big Brother, and anyone who openly talks about it REALLY LOUDLY on buses in London when my iPod's out of battery.

Uchiha Sasuke...lol.

A small conversation my friends and I had:

"Men will never understand the pain of giving birth!"

"Women will never understand the pain of being kicked in the nards!"

"You two will never understand the pain of lying here listening to this argument whilst I'm MISSING A FUCKING ARM! HELP ME!"

Upcoming Fics

(In no particular order whatsoever...)

Successor, Predecessor

A Naruto fic. Pairing Naru/Yugi. Inspired by my own imagination, which was kicked in the rear and then bodily thrown through the air towards the general direction of the idea by All that I Am XXFox, Demon, Human, MeXX by Avatarofrage. May his profile rest in peace forever, and may his story finally be finished in fanfic heaven.

The Vampire Alchemist

It came to me after watching FMA in a week, including the movie, and then watching the following AMV. Repeatedly. A lot. Wrath FTW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaX2FPU_zkE

Pure White Panther

Inspired by the countless 'Naruto gets Benihime/Hyorinmaru during the FoD!' fics. Mine is a 'Naruto gets Pantera during FoD!' fic. Yay.

Different Outcomes

I'm going to rewrite it. Once the first chapter of any other story is up, I'll delete the current version. The rewrite (which happens to also be the name of an excellent song by Asian Kung Fu Generation; REWRITE) will be slightly darker, but don't go in expecting an angst-fueled wrist-slitting contest, or I'll boottotheface you. With my military boots which I don't have. Yeah.

Memes Galore!

A complete crack fic. Every Internet meme I can lay my hands on, twisted to fit into the world of Naruto.

Current Fics

Society

I have no clue where this came from, but it appeared and was written in two and a half hours. And I like it, so it's staying.

Angel

Goddamn leg-raping plot bunny accosted me, and I wrote this. It's a side-project to Society, but that doesn't mean it'll be of a lower quality. Just that it'll be updated less frequently.

Things that I hate on FF.net

The current state that both the FMA and Kingdom Hearts sections have fallen in. STOP WITH THE YAOI, DAMMIT! NO MORE!

Amazing fics that are discontinued.

The Sin of Existance. Come on, man, you write several stories that are loved by many, and then you delete them all and throw a hissy fit just because two random people who've been on the site for a few years tell you that you suck. And you actually believe them, just because they've been here longer than you... my respect for you took a bullet that day. Pull yourself together, man.

IM-conversation styled fics. Not the ones where characters have IM conversations, they're just annoying. The ones I really hate are the ones where the authors take IM conversations they've been in and post them in a category because they just so happen to be about that category; also, the ones where the author and friend(s?) role-play as the characters of the category the 'fic' is posted in.

People who know that their spelling and grammar sucks, and have the tools to remedy that, but continue to post eye-torture (like eye-candy, but not). It's OK if they have a valid reason, like English being their second language or something medical, but otherwise it's a virtual slaptotheface, or even a kicktothestones.

OCs, self-inserts, Mary Sues, and OCs that manage to pass a Mary Sue litmus test, aren't self-inserts, are OK as far as OCs go, but still end up in a romantic relationship with the main character (or author's favourite character) that seems to be just perfect.

Fics with absolutely no action whatsoever. I don't want to read about Ed's conflicted feeling for Winry when there's a chimera bearing down on him! I don't want to know what Naruto thinks of Sakura in the middle of the night whilst being kidnapped by Akatsuki! I don't like Sakura, either, but let's not go there... (once It starts, It cannot stop It's ranting!)

People who hold their story hostage. Otherwise known as 'those retards who can't face reality'. NOBODY REVIEWS YOUR FIC BECAUSE IT IS SUB-PAR! GET OVER IT AND MAKE IT BETTER!

'Gameshow' fics. 'Nuff said.

I think that's it... no, wait.

OOC characters. Hinata would, under NO circumstances, run up to Naruto and tackle him to the ground before preceding to erotically have public sex with him at the tender age of 12. No. I've seen it written; it was shit, eye-torture. It wouldn't happen. Ever.

Authors who 'talk' to their favourite characters in their ANs.

Bad crack. You know it's bad when the person writing hasn't got the faintest clue how to write crack and thinks that they just need to put a bunch of random, nonsensical gibberish into something resembling the category. For those at home going 'wait, that's not crack?', I hate you. Crackfics are random, yes, but they have a timeline. They have a plot. If you want to write a good crackfic, you're going to be writing something humourous, but sensible, not some random shit that looks as if you trusted the Law of Improbability to make the words for you and poked the keyboard with a single finger and eyes closed. People do not pull random ray guns from random tree stumps in the middle of nowhere and take out the main antagonist with one hit. People do not randomly pull the Philospoher's Stone from out of their ass. People do not invent random jutsu in the blink of an eye that kill every enemy ninja in a ten mile radius with next to no chakra cost. People do not have Chuck Norris as their Bankai. No. It happened once, I hated it. It was funny, yes, but only the first time. Not the fifth, sixth or eighth time. BTW, the Chuck-Norris-Bankai fic seems to have been deleted, but it was quite funny while it lasted.

People who misspell zanpakuto. I know that I misspelt it there, technically, but that's the closest possible without using Japanese characters (the ones with the accents in the shape of the little horizontal line above the o or u). Current popular (and annoying) misspellings of the word: Zanpac-to, Zanpacto, Zanpacuto, Zanpac to, Zanpakuto, Zanpukoto and finally, (copy and pasted from the fic I saw it in), zanpaakkutor. Believe it or not, that fic was written in English.

That one guy who believes that NaruHina is a crack pairing. I hate you. A lot.

A LOT of other shit... which I can't remember (read: erased from memory to prevent mental trauma).

And on that happy note, onto the crap I've written and posted to please you all with!

May you live in only the worst possible type of hell that today's uncompromising society can comprehend if you cross me.