Starting with a fresh slate, hah.

"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over

If you were killed tomorrow, I wouldn't go to your funeral, cause I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed you! Send to your true friends.

Hi, I'm Izzy. I cleaned up my prof lately because it was really messy and sloppy and I decided it was time to fix that. I'm on deviantart (Izzy279) and Twitter, but, ah, I don't really follow back if I don't know you, so talk to me on deviantart. Um, I've been reading more than writing a lot lately. I mean, I still write--a LOT--but I've been reading more because I'm a procrastinator. I highly recommend Kelley Armstrong's books, mostly the YA stuff, but the adult stuff is good too. The Summoning, The Awakening, and The Reckoning (The Darkest Powers Trilogy), and The Gathering (Darkness Rising Trilogy) are all out now. Plus, Cassandra Clare is another of my favorite authors. (The Mortal Instruments series, Infernal Devices Trilogy). I also highly recommend Lisa Mcmann Wake, Fade, Gone, and Cryer's Cross. All great books. I also recently read White Cat and Red Glove by Holly Black, great books. Literally read Clarity by Kim Harrington yesterday. That was amazing.

I only write fics on here a little bit now, mostly I put them on deviantart because it's easier, but I can put some on here still. I'm behind on The Offspring, I know, but...*shrug* I'm trying. ^^

And on to the funny stuff. It's the same, but hopefully I got rid of mistakes and repeats.

XXX

THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

PRODUCT LABELS

On a Sears hairdryer--Do not use while sleeping. (Oh, no! When will I use this, then?)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (So we're encouraging shoplifting, now?)

On a bar of Dial soap --Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --Serving suggestion: Defrost. (Really? Cuz I like it frozen better.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --Do not turn upside down. (Oh, thank goodness. I shudder to think what would happen if I turned it upside down.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --Product will be hot after heating. (Oh, really? I was hoping it'd be cold...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- Do not iron clothes on body. (Man! I won't have time to iron clothes now.)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning: May cause drowsiness. (GASP! Drowsiness? That couldn't be the reason I'm taking this!)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- Warning: contains nuts. (Thank goodness they warned me. I never would have figured that out.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (No, I'll chuck them at people. Gawsh, what else would you do?)

On a child's Superman costume -- Wearing of this garment does notenable you to fly. (Aw, man! now I'll have to return this...I wanted to jump off skyscrapers and stuff.)

WAYS TO MAKE SURE YOUR STILL INSANE

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if its comfortable with its name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk
.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"

Ways To Annoy Your Professors ~ Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something.
After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN..."

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have ever gotten mad about a guy saying that you can't do something because you're a girl, put this in your profile

If your hobbies include pottery and making wooden figurines, copy this into your profile.

If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

10. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' todescribe the process so well: “poli” meaning “many”, and tics being bloodsucking creatures.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes your and says, "RUN, LOSER, RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Anger is merely depression without enthusiasm.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream: "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true maybe. Possibly. Heh.

I am NOT A HOMOPHOBE so I MUST be GAY.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I MUST be gay, too
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm like PUNK MUSIC, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I have STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I have A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay, too
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I MUSTdo weed and steal stuff
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be a freak.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFFso I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY easilyso I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent and have no temper.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend..
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.
I CHAT ONLINE, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.()
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be aTERRORIST.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST beLABELED
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST bestupid
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DONT LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST be a psychotic bible pusher.
I dress EMO so I MUST be a CUTTER

Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add. And Homophobia is gay!

QUotes.

When life gives you lemons...make apple juice, then laugh at the idiots who spend their lives figuring out how the hell you did that.

When life gives you lemons, say hey, I like lemons. Got anything else for me?"

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" -Albert Einstein

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it." -Garrison Keillor

"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch." -Jane Wagner

"Humankind cannot stand very much reality." -T. S. Eliot

"Everything you can imagine is real." -Pablo Picasso

"Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy." -Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Never eat more than you can lift." -Miss Piggy

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." -Shirley Temple

"So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?" -Dwight K. Schrute, The Office

"I want my two dollars!" - Paper Boy in Better Off Dead

"Holy shit! It's attack of Eddie Munster!" -Edgar (or Allen I'm not sure which one is which) From The Lost Boys

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door."

"Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way."

"If you're standing on a toilet, you're high on pot."

"Someday we'll look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

"Parents spend the first years of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and then during the rest of our lives they tell us to sit down and shut up."

"If you're looking at a guy, you're blind to all his flaws, but when it's you you're looking at, flaws is all you see."

"Guys with Emo hair are like a billion times more sexy than other guys." No duh.

"Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!"

"Life was so simple when boys had cooties."

"I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends."

"Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs."

"An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

"Ever stop to think and forget to start again?"

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil."

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought"

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

"Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka

"A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering 'Seven days...'"

"All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies." Pathetically true.

"If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you."

"They're speaking the international language of LOVE." -Mrs.Smith, Better Off Dead

"Sorry I blew up your mom." -Lane Meyer, Better Off Dead

"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." -Fang

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

-Kat (Julia Stiles)

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Character is what you are when no one else is looking."

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse." Famous Last Words

"So...you're a cannibal." See above

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Freida Norris

"You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music." Jim Carrey

"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."

"Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder." Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." P.J. O'Rourke

"If you know me, chances are you hate me."

"Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much"

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder."

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson

"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."

"They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?"

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"I can't die, because I'm the main character of my own life."

"I'm the kind of person your parents warned you about."

"Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright."

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest and he who laughs first doesn't get it." Roughdiamond5 (Hi!)

"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running-- try and keep up!"

"Every fight's a food fight when you're a cannibal!"

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shall not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shall have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shall keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shall paste this in your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY!! Please do your part to end it.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted!!!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top of the tree

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

If you have decided Fang is an asshole who should be beaten to death and that Max deserves much better cause he's a fucker, copy and paste.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

Olny 55 pepole otu fo 100 cna raed tihs. Cna yuo?

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (And cracks. And desks. And chairs. And loose floorboards. And door frames. And air. And...)\

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile (The teacher always said "Don't lean back in your chair". But Did I listen? NO.)

If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

Guys should be like lattes—rich, strong, and hot

It's a matter of life after death—now that he's dead, I have a life

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I remain as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Boys are like trees—they take 50 years to grow up.

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Tootie, you in trouble - Facts of Life

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I get a parachute, and save your retarded ass.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I just have...persistent ideas.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but one right and one left make a light.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them

Don’t mess with me- I've got a stick

A good friend will bail you out of jail
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn, we messed up."

A good friend helps you when you fall. A true laughs and trips you again.

He said "I love you," I laughed and said, "Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit"

NO TREPASSING Violaters will be shot; Survivors will be shot again

I thought I was stupid, before I met you

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, the Terminator is the Governor, and Trump wants to be president.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy?

My main set of morals when somebody insults me or does something annoying usually consist of three steps. 1. I ask them nicely to stop 2. I repeat with force 3. I insult them, cuss them out and/or threaten doom, torture, and/or enslavement.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Me, I'm dishonest. And you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. Honestly. But it's the honest ones you have to look out for, because they're the ones who will always do something stupid.

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen. ~ Kevin from Home Alone.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepair to shatter.

We fall for stupid boys. We make lots of dumb mistake We like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Agent: Did you see the kid come out here?

Door Guard: Yes, Sir

Agent: Then why didn't you stop him!?

Door Guard: He lives here. ~ First Kid

I love Nudge i really do. But that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murdurer ~ Max Ride

Chips, Glorious Chips! ~ chips advert

I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs! ~ Gazzy

Write that down...He's a notorius dessert stealer ~ Max Ride

4 of you tried to kill me in the past, one of you succeed ~ Jack Sparow

I've got a Jar of Dirt! I've got a Jar of Dirt! ~ Jack Sparow

"I just thought to myself, 'think like Jack'" -Will

"And this is where you've arrived at? It's like you don't know me at all, mate!" -Jack ~ Will and Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

Just because you're allowed to use magic now, does not mean you have to whip you're wands out for everything! ~ Mrs. Weasly from Harry Potter

You're just as sane as I am ~ Luna from Harry Potter

Umbridge: You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?

Snape: Yes

Umbridge: But you where unsuccessful?

Snape: Obviously ~ Umbraidge and Snape, from Harry Potter

Marge: Bart are you drinking Whisky?!

Bart: I'm troubled ~ Marge and Bart from The Simpsons Movie

The big rocks are called mountains, and the little rocks are their babies ~ Open Season.

I'm half doe, half buck! I'm a DUCK! ~ Open Season.

"Good, we'll need you're nuts"

"And you're acorns too!" ~ Open Season.

"This is awkward"

"Yes, yes it is" ~ Open Season.

"Is he not going to maul her?"

"No, she's his MOM!" ~ Open Season.

"I should have killed you, I saved you, I'm going straight to heaven for this!" -other man starts freaking out beacause they'll hit a wall in the car- "Chill out man, i'm blessed~ A guy from the movie National Security (I only saw this scene, but I thought it was funny! And I think the guys name was Earl)

"This came from some place else" "What, like Europe?" "No Robby! Not like Europe!" ~ Ray and Robby from War of the World's.

Gloria: Where are the people?!

Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers...gotcha didn't I!? ~ Madagascar

"What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula!?"~ Timon from The Lion King

"Come here, its a secret... Asantey sana squash banana wey weyuu a mimi a pana!" ~ Rafiki from the Lion King.

Timon: Gone back? What do you mean? Hey! What's goin' on here? Who's the monkey? Nala: Simba's gone to challenge Scar.

Timon: Who?

Nala: Scar.

Pumbaa: Who's got a scar?

Nala: No, no, no. It's his uncle.

Timon: The monkey's his uncle? ~ Timon, Nala and Pumbaa from the Lion King.

Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel! ~ Genie from Aladdin.

I'm kinda fond of you, too, Al. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything. ~ Genie.

Peter: I remember you being a lot bigger

Hook: To a 12-year-old I am huge ~ Peter and Hook, from Hook.

Hello Children! ~ Hook. (I love the way he says that!)

You're a very bad man who needs a mommy! ~ Maggie to Hook.

Rufio: All grown-ups are pirates.

Peter: Excuse me?

Rufio: We kill pirates.

Peter: I'm not a pirate. It just so happens that I'm a lawyer.

Rufio: KILL THE LAWYER! ~ Rufio and Peter.

You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. ~ Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.

'Highly explosive. Keep away from children.' Cool! ~ Sid from Toy Story.

DON'T YOU GET IT?? YOU SEE THE HAT?? I AM...MRS. NESBIT!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! ~ Buzz.

Woody: Oh, you actually THINK you're THE real Buzz Lightyear?! And all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the REAL Buzz Lightyear!

Buzz: You're mocking me, aren't you? ~ Woody and Buzz (I love that part xD)

Buzz: Well, although you tried to terminate me, revenge is not practiced on my planet. Woody: Oh...well, that's good... Buzz: But we're not on my planet...are we? Woody: Uh...no... ~ Buzz and Woody (Hehe, I love that part too)

The Claaaaaaw!! ~ Awesome little green aliens.

Woody: Hey, who's got my hat?

Shark toy: Look! I'm Woody! Howdy-howdy-howdy! Woody: (sarcastic laugh) Gimme that! ~ Woody and the shark toy.

Patato Head: Oh a laser! How come you don't have a laser Woody?

Woody: Its not a laser, its a little light bulb that blinks! Hamm: What's wrong with him? Patato Head: Laser envy. ~ Patato Head, Woody, and Hamm.

Buzz: Excuse me, I believe the word you're searching for is 'Space Ranger'. Woody: The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are preschool toys present. ~ Buzz and Woody (Gotta love that part!)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Gaston: Lefou, I’m afraid I've been thinking.

Lefou: A dangerous pastime.

Gaston: I know. ~ Gaston and Lefou, from Beauty and the Beast.

Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy? Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute!! Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing, he's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute! ~ The Triplets singing about Gaston.

Lefou: That crazy old loon? He needs all the help he can get!

Lefou, Gaston: (laugh)

Belle: Don't talk about my father that way!

Gaston: (conks Lefou on the head) Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ~ Lefou, Belle and Gaston.

If you have ever stayed up past 5:00 in the morning just because you friggin' could, copy and paste this onto your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TOLD TO STOP GROWLING AT YOUR TEAM MATES COPY AND PASTE THIS IS YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you have ever repeatedly ran into a glass door copy this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. (dude, it was weird)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile\

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mam saying you can still keep it.

Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning—sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

A good friend will bail you out of jail
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn, we messed up."

A good friend helps you when you fall. A true friend laughs at you and trips you again

Oh him? He just has the most ah-dorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that will take your breath away, and he has the ability to make you laugh when when the world just wants you to frown.

You know you live in the two thousands when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen-name or Myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

So what if my teeth are yellow,

So what if my breath smells sour

If my fingers are brown and nicotine-d

And I have to light up every hour

I tell you what, I can run upstairs

And take them two at a time.

I only need a rest every fifteen ..

Well twelve - or how about nine?

No I've not thought of giving up smoking:

It's my life, I’ll do as I please.

OK so perhaps I’ll die early

But at least I’ll have fun-- Cough, Cough, Wheeze. ... DON'T SMOKE!

I'm not insane, and my hand puppet agrees with me.

Don't frown, even when your sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

Somebody spiked the vodka.

Weather Forecast for tonight: dark.

Start everyday off with a smile and get it over with.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

If you hate it when people label you, copy this into your profile

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with violence, copy this into your profile

If you love reading, copy this into your profile

If you are inexplicably evil, copy this into your profile

If you love to reminisce about the past, copy this into your profile

If you think Lucifer is probably hot, copy this into your profile

If your best friend is obsessed with a fictional character, copy this into your profile

If you and your friend often say the same things at the same time by accident, then copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those that can't.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Favorite quotes:

It is my intention to commander a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, rape, pillage and otherwise pilfer my black guts out.Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean- The curse of the Black Pearl

"Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up." - Muhammad Ali

"I was a dog in a past life. Really. I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take. Like, Hey, I know him." - William H. Macy

"If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?"

"Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere." - Clarice and Lector - Silence of the Lambs

"Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?" - Lily Tomlin

"NOBODY MOVE! I've dropped me brain..." - Captain Jack Sparrow's fantasy character - The Pirates of the Caribbean - At Worlds End

"Fat kids are harder to kidnap."

-Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley)

-You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams- (Dr. Seuss)

-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about-

-A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe)

-And you can quote me on the quote, unquote- (Dane Cook)

-Love is when two people who care for each other get confused- (Bob Schneider)

-Strike a pose & act like you're famous-

-The hardest thing in this world is to live in it- (Buffy)

-To live is the rarest thing; most people only exist-

-It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be real hard. And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that...because I want you. All of you...forever-

-Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-

-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-

-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-

-It's not about right. It's not about wrong. It's about power- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because...there is no alternative- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-Who really cares if you're in your house, or in a big open field? There is always something to surround you. You can pretend like you're free, but you're not. Not really. You will always be trapped. Four walls of plaster or the roundness of the encroaching atmosphere. I see no difference-

-It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have every done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known- (Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities)

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather by ruined by praise than saved by criticism- (Norman Vincent Peale)

-It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes come to the top- (Virginia Woolf)

-Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal- (E. Joseph Cossman)

-You don't have to have a reason to feel good - You can feel good for no reason at all-

-The best things in life aren't things- (Art Buchwald)

-”Hey, Caroline accepts me for who I am, so I'll accept her for who they are.” -Fez from That 70's Show

-Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry- (Mark Twain)

-"Good causes" seem to be quite expensive, especially compared to how cheap the bad ones are- (Someone)

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - (Some Genius)

-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-

-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-

-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-

-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-

-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-

-With bloodshot eyes, I'll watch you sleeping. The warmth beside me, is slowly fading- (Tears Don't Fall, by Bullet for My Valentine)

-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-

-I miss you...a lot-

-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-

-Beginnings are scary; endings are s-a-d. It's the middle that counts the most; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-

-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-

-If you can't hear my heartbeat; then you're too far away-

-Just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying-

-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -

-You want a song of glory? Well I'm fucking screaming it at you- (Box Full of Sharp Objects by The Used)

-Falling in love was the best idea I ever had- (Same song as above)

- Forged in war, born of death, saved by love - Jackson Rathbone

-Why do we kill people, who kill people, to show people, that killing people, is wrong?-

"Mom, is God black or white?"

Both

"Mom, is God a boy or a girl?"

Both

"Mom?"

Yes

"Is God Michael Jackson?"

(NO OFFENSE!)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever started talking with your friends in class to then notice that nobody is listening and it looks like you're talking to yourself and then continue talking although you know that your friends aren't listening, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me than just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot –some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 percent that would ask the person "what was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

If you are pretty much exactly like Max, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If 99.9 of the time, you have no clue what‘s going on, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you find Derek Souza to be so much sexier than Jacob Black because he's a moody, antisocial, rude werewolf, please paste this in your profile.