| Alex Wert |
Author has written 28 stories for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Office, and Corner Gas. Welcome to the home of fanfiction's least prolific regular writer. I started writing fanfic back in 2003 with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and now spend my time in The Office. Nearly half of my Buffy fic is Fuffy but my Andrew characterization is said to be very good. I really enjoy KaPAM! yet probably my best Office fic is Ryan/Hunter. I wonder what that says about me. Probably nothing I want to think about... If you like what you see please tell your friends (I'm a very vain person). There's some good stuff here, running the gamut from angst to comedy (alas, ff doesn't want the smuttiest smut, so there's one very entertaining story I won't be able to post here in its original form - but you can see it at the Buffy Fiction Archive at archive.shriftweb.org and search for me and the story Whiskey Worse). | |||||||
1. On the Relative Sexiness of Bumpkins reviewsKaren eats lunch, contemplates her lack of love life, and finds herself considering things that she hadn't considered before. Very slight and one-sided Karen/Brent and Karen/Lacey.Corner Gas - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,157 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-30-09 - Complete2. The Fairest Of Them All reviewsOn their way back from a business trip, Michael, Pam, and Ryan survive a death-defying car crash, but when they return to the office, all is not well in the world. Faced with malice and magic, are their wits enough to survive an escalating deadly threat?Office - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,470 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-17-093. Becoming Hitler » reviewsIt's not so much that she hates the house - she does, but it's not so much that as it is that he purchased a house without without so much as mentioning it to her beforehand. But she'll never tell him that she hates it. A story of infidelity. Pam/Other.Office - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,678 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 2-10-09 - Published: 1-8-09 - Complete4. Argh! My Eyes! » reviewsAndy and Angela get it on in five parts.Office - Rated: M - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,104 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 11-5-08 - Published: 3-15-08 - Complete5. Buffybot's Big Adventure! » reviewsDo we really trust Spike's electronics diagnostic skills? He's an 19th century artsy poet who shakes the TV when he loses at Crash Bandicoot! Finally repaired in chapter 4, Buffybot goes on an epic adventure and meets many old friends along the way.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,948 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 3-4-08 - Published: 1-15-08 - Warren M. & Willow R.6. Karen the Kidnapper » reviewsAfter being dumped by Jim, Karen tries to take back control of her life... by kidnapping Jim! What nefarious plans does Karen have in store for him? Can Pam rescue Jim before Karen makes him a castrati? And why is Dwight obsessed with semen?Office - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,386 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 11-14-07 - Published: 7-4-07 - Complete7. Dunder Mifflin After Evers reviewsThe cast gets their epilogues in this piece that further proves that I have lost my mind. Also, I am aware of the grammatical error in my title, however that was apparently the way that I wrote the name when I saved the file on Friday. I rock.Office - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 7-31-07 - Complete8. Expletive Deleted Jim » reviewsKaren has her heart broken by Jim and then... KaPAM! We interupt our regularly scheduled chapter to bring you gratuitous smut and cheap laughs.Office - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,389 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 7-8-07 - Published: 2-17-079. New York, New York reviewsIt's Monday morning, and Ryan wakes up in the city that never sleeps. Can he make it there? Can he make it anywhere? It's up to you, New York, New York. Ryan's first few weeks at Corporate Headquarters. Ryan, Hunter, David Wallace, Kendall, Grace.Office - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,467 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-7-07 - Complete10. Nightmare: Starring God reviewsSometimes Karen feels like everyone hates her... Another jab by me vs. all those Jammers out there.Office - Rated: T - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 5-16-07 - Complete11. I've Had A Bad DayWeekMonthYear reviewsFour DunderMifflinites lament their troubled times. That sounds rather ominous, doesn't it? Cue suspenseful music... or not...Office - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 510 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-14-07 - Complete12. Pam Who? reviewsIn which Alex Wert attempts to generate hate mail and death threats. Karen wins. Pam loses. Jim is happy.Office - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,462 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 5-7-07 - Complete13. CATFIGHT! reviewsThe title says it all. I've been waiting for one of these forever, and so far I've only seen one and it involved Kelly. While entertaining, that's not the fight we all want to see. Pam vs. Karen. What do you mean, I'm the only one who wants to see it?Office - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,430 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-20-07 - Complete14. The Austrian Vagrant reviewsIf the highlight of your artshow is the response of Michael Gary Scott, and you're thankful for that, it officially means you've hit rock bottom. Luckily for you, Dwight K. Schrute is there to help.Office - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 811 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-26-07 - Complete15. Catching The Gay reviews5 Times Something Queer Happens in The Office That Have Nothing To Do With Oscar. Angela is worried about the upcoming Gay Epidemic now that Oscar has been outed and has returned to the office after his gaycation.Office - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,970 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-19-07 - Complete16. 5 Times Karen Considers Doing Something Drastic reviewsDoes anyone bother writing a summary for a 5 Things fic? What's the point? I mean, it's pretty much all there in the title, isn't it? So I'm just going to fill up space here. Cantaloupes.Office - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 910 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-6-07 - Complete17. The Substitutes reviewsSome might say he finally got a lucky break. He's not so sure. Toby gets what he wanted, but it's not what he envisioned. TobyPam with a little JimKaren.Office - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,357 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-30-07 - Complete18. Isosceles » reviewsJim's sham relationship is over. True love has carried the day once again. Karen doesn't take it at all well. Not your typical Office fic, and I mean it.Office - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,183 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-27-07 - Published: 1-22-07 - Complete19. Whisky Worse reviewsPost Chosen. H/C and drinking leads to a Core Four drunken orgy! It's like PWP with plot: whisky, a few jokes, some sadness, sex, shoutouts, a recap, and my explanation for the Scooby gang splitup of Angel season 5. Buffy/Giles/Willow/Xander.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,441 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-12-07 - Buffy S. & Xander H. - Complete20. Leave Me Breathless » reviewsBest VampScooby fic I've ever read, says Miss Edith AKA Serrafina. This is an exploration of the darkness that exists within everyone. 7 parts.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,886 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 1-8-07 - Published: 12-14-06 - Buffy S. & Spike - Complete21. Operation: Get Into Buffy's Pants » reviewsHer relationship with Kennedy is over. Now Willow is on a mission. This is a not at all serious romp documenting Willow's not so brilliant schemes to, well, you probably get the idea from the title. Silly, irreverent, it went over quite well at SFA.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 16,487 - Reviews: 111 - Updated: 1-8-07 - Published: 12-1-06 - Willow R. & Buffy S. - Complete22. Jenga » reviewsFaith's second encounter with The First leaves her shaken, but it's her follow up encounter with Buffy that breaks her.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,222 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 12-11-06 - Published: 12-6-06 - Faith L. & Buffy S. - Complete23. My Last Suckjob reviewsRiley needs some time to reflect about his life he chooses a bad place to do this. A dark character study of one of the fandom's most mistreated characters.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,725 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-4-06 - Riley F. - Complete24. Old Apartment reviewsOn a snowy winter day in Boston a girl stands across the street from the house where she grew up. Faith reflects.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,194 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-3-06 - Faith L. - Complete25. Grasshopper reviewsWerewolf confab. Oz and Nina.Angel - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,682 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-2-06 - Complete26. The Terminal Or Leaving the Old Death » reviewsPost NFA. Spike waits for a plane, flying back to Rome to win Buffy back. Originally a oneoff, but I had to write an irreverant second part as retaliation to Yseult de Breton's proBangel response.Angel - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,481 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-1-06 - Spike & Angel - Complete27. Mementos reviewsYears later, Buffy must confront her feelings at Faith's funeral.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,521 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11-30-06 - Buffy S. & Faith L. - Complete28. Cold reviewsHave they really made up? Buffy and Faith dish it out on the couch. Post Chosen.Author Notes: Title is from 'Revenge is a dish best served' which is Sicilian, though I've heard it attributed to some French guy.Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,856 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-30-06 - Buffy S. & Faith L. - Complete