I don't know where to start, but I guess "hi" works as well as anything. So hi.

This is a little confusing... I don't know why any of you here in the first place (haha) but since you apparently are here I'll try to make it worth your while. I'm sixteen, and I'll turn seventeen the day the Twilight movie comes out! Thanks for the birthday present, Summit. My name is Sarah, but my nickname is "Alice," because I daydream so much. The place I live looks like a scene from the Shire in the spring. I'm an American. Woot?

If you are here because of Lights, Camera, Heartbreak, no. I am probably not updating as you read this. I am probably not even writing it. But it will be up soon, so please don't form an angry mob outside my bedroom window! If you're bored, try reading some of my other stories. Or read Twilight again. Or just plain read. Listen to music, watch TV. It's the summer, and these are all the things I do to procrastinate. Oh! And try the Cake Mania computer game. It is pleasantly OCD-friendly.

Email me if you have a question or just want to talk to me. Why you'd want to do that I don't know. But I'm available.

And if you are really, truly, unbelievably bored, and for some reason are still reading this after trying out my aforementioned beat-boredom tips, take a look at the quotes below. I am a quote MANIAC! And here is my Top 55 Quote Countdown. Yes, I have way too much time on my hands.

55. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~Agatha Christie

54. Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

53. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

52. This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question. ~Orson Scott Card

51. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author Unknown

50. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

49. A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."

48. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

47. Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug.

46. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

45. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. ~Marsha Doble

44. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown

43. When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894

42. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

41. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by.

40. I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.

39. Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it.

38. Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100 percent mortality rate.

37. Untold suffering seldom is. ~Franklin P. Jones

36. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

35. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

34. Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep. Well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice. ~Ani Difranco

33. In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. ~Oscar Wilde, Lady Windemere's Fan, 1896

32. Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway. ~Judith Viorst

31. What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's. ~Olin Miller

30. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright

29. You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

28. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

27. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

26. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

25. We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. ~Lynn Hall

24. You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

23. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

22. Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them. ~James Fallows

21. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

20. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

19. The problem with modern day people is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

18. Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece. ~Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

17. When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long. ~Author Unknown

16. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

15. If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it.

14. Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock. ~Wynn Catlin

13. If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag. ~Author Unknown

12. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

11. Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

10. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

9. A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"

8. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

7. If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. ~Robert Fulghum

6. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

5. In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out the window.

4. In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

3. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

2. When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

1. We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

--Disclaimer: Guess what? The reason I'm on fanfiction is because I enjoy writing about someone else's work. Therefore only my plots and not my characters (usually) or universes are mine. Thank you, have a nice day. (And please no suing. It's not like I've got money anyway...)