WARNING: PROFILE IN PROGRESS.

So. A lot of people seem to put something clever or wise at the beginning of their profiles. I decided to be totally predictable and in-character and find a completely irrelevant quote from...you guessed it, Mark Twain!

-Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-

And, as I can't leave well enough alone, I'm just gonna keep adding all the ones that catch my eye.

-Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.-

-I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.-

-If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.-

-In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.-

-In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.-

-Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.-

-Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.-

-The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.-
-Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.-

-Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.-

-When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.-

-A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.-

-The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.-

-What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.-

Where from: Lander, Wyoming, USA

Name: call me squirrel or squee, please!

Gender: Girl

Age: haha, you shall never know!

Do I prefer to read or write: either or; I'm a self-confessed bookworm and, well, whatever you call it when you write a lot

Do I have some crazy friends: Heck yes!

Am I crazy: ah, now there's a question.

Have I seen an ocean: Atlantic, and Pacific

UUUUUMM, so, there's some of the basics on me. Yes, I know, doesn't tell you much, but where did it say that I had to tell you everything?

oh, fine. I enjoy trying to make my characters as cannon as possible, partly 'cause it's such a challenge for me, an American, to write like a...a...um, British person, or wherever else they're from, I guess. HOWEVER, one of my favorite parts of fanfics is the absolutely hilariously outrageous attempts some people make at sounding like they're from another country! Not that I'm making fun (I'm probably worse), but...That said, I'll just letcha know that I'll read just about anything, but am picky about what I write!

Harry Potter wise, I love James/Lily, but in most of my stories you'll find that he doesn't have to change for her. I think that James should carry on being who he is and that LILY is the one who needs to come 'round. He may seem to not be the person described in OotP, but in my mind this is how he's always been and he had a better reason for attacking Snape that day than seen. Something to do with Sirius. I'm going to explain it in "Marauding 'Morrows", and kind of sort of have in "Lilsilee And Me" if you want to hear more.

Pet Peeves:

when people drag out certain events from the books and make them really important. For example, one that's really overused is the Lily/James scene by the lake in the fifth book. Using them to identify basic interactions is fine, but I really don't appreciate it when they become some huge, labeled, incident.

"definitely" being spelled "defiantly".

excessive OOCness.

Bad explanations for AUs/time travel fics/realm travel fics. Creativity! It's a virtue! It's a gift! It's a muscle! Use yours today!

Mary Sues.

chat/texting/IMing spelling in fics.

Things That Will Make Me Love You Forever:

an original title.

a good blend of humor, angst, and intelligence.

some cliches, but not an overabundance.

no single character always being right/saving the day.

Outside of Harry Potter, I like Wheel Of Time, Dianna Wynne Jones, Amber, Xanth, CSI:NY, Hannah Montana, Orson Scott Card, Sevenwaters, Naruto, Bleach, and InuYasha, among other things. Like I said, a wide range of tastes. I don't like extremely OOCs, or anything too dark/sophisticated for its series. Other than that, I'm pretty accepting. I'll probably tell you that you've got grammar/spelling problems if I'm in a bad mood and you've the slightest bit that's incorrect. I'm a bit odd that way.

I,Squirrelbait the Third, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution.

If you wonder why people only have good commercials during the SuperBowl, post this on your profile.

Thoughts on Gay Marriage!

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and, as Americans, we reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage straight people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriages would be less meaningful if gay marriage was allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spear's 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed upon an entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and female figure in a home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage would change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate

If practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect ... why practice?

Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?

Live dangerously! Run with scissors

Whoever said that nothing is impossible obviously never tried to slam a revolving door

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I do know it all. I just can't remember it all at once

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different to yours

You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you are sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water

--See that italicized bit? Yep, that right there? Well, I got that off of Cuban Hat Girl's profile, kay?