I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
-Mark Twain
About Me
My name is Jonathan Harrison. I'm a 19 year old college student, and I write fanfiction in my spare time. I wrote fanfics for Kim Possible for over a year, but sadly I didn't finish all of them. I may get back to them someday, but for now consider them all on hiatus. I would remove them, but I seem to have developed a following. Odd; that's not what I expected when I first started.
The reason for my sudden change of interest can be found in the CW's Smallville. I had watched the show before, but it wasn't until I was computer-less for two weeks and had to fill my free hours watching the first six seasons that I really fell in love with it. I've grown rather jaded with KP lately, and I'm turning to this because it hasn't been ruined for me yet. Maybe I can figure out a way to juggle both. Probably not anytime soon.
I appreciate any and all attempts at honest critique. The more insightful the better. Others may see reviews as bragging rights, but I value feedback because I'm hoping to be published someday. In order to do that, I need to get better.
I'm willing to beta for anyone who meets the criteria outlined in my beta profile. Drop me a PM or e-mail and I'll see if we can work something out.
Hope you enjoy my stories.
beeftony
Pairings
I decided to replace my KiGo manifesto with something that explains how I feel about pairings in general. After being on this site for over a year and reading stories that feature all sorts of pairings, I've discovered one thing: pairings don't matter.
Or rather, they shouldn't. While romance is undoubtedly one of the most popular dramatic elements, the truth is that, as Shakespeare so eloquently put it, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Each pairing has its own attractive qualities, but at the end of the day, romance is romance. What matters is how well the story that contains it is told.
Fiction is, at its most basic level, bullshit. It's a pack of lies designed to entertain; to tell a story. It falls on the shoulder of the author to make that story compelling enough that the reader is willing to suspend their disbelief; to believe the lie. Not all readers are willing to do that. Everyone sees things differently, and only a fool expects his opinion to be agreed with unanimously.
I'd go into a list of pairings that I support, but the truth is that I can be convinced to ship just about anything so long as the basis for it is well grounded in the story in which it's featured. The only two characters that I really can't see having a romantic relationship are Drakken and Shego. Always got more of a father/daughter vibe from them. That, and the idea of Drakken getting it on with anyone makes me physically ill. Hey, the guy's blue.
And before you send me angry PMs, let me inform you that I'm well aware that "Graduation" hinted at a romantic relationship between those two with all the subtlety of a mallet. That doesn't mean I see it working out. I don't even support K/R, for chrissakes. Acknowledging a pairing is not the same thing as shipping it. Shipping is characterized by active support.
Ultimately what I find attractive in a romantic pairing is passion. I like seeing how a couple ends up together, not where they go from there. I don't want to see first dates or marriage proposals or weddings (maybe honeymoons). I don't care for pregnancies or children or family drama. I want chemistry. I want to see two characters who want each other so badly it hurts when they're apart. I want to see them confused, excited, angry, happy, sad, and incredibly turned on all at the same time. I want to see two people go completely crazy over each other. Any story that manages that is likely to find a spot on my favorites.
My Biggest Fanfic Pet Peeves
There are certain trends in fanfiction that really get under my skin and annoy me. I've chosen to list them here. These are in no particular order.
1. "Popular" authors, or authors who pander to their audience. These are the folks that demand a certain amount of reviews before they go to the next chapter, take suggestions from brain-dead audience members, and care more about popularity than telling a good story. These folks almost always fade away because readers get sick of their demands for attention and go off to find the people who actually write good stories. Good stories will always become popular because they are well-written.
2. People who go on and on about their "style." Oh, so you've got this great new experimental writing style that you think is so cool that it takes precedent over your story, huh? Well, unless you're already famous, FORGET IT. We want to read a good story, not listen to you prattle on about your "style." I've never praised a story on writing style alone. There's usually some supporting framework, such as plot, characterization, etc. If all you've got is your "style," well then you'll go out of style quickly, my friend.
3. Stories and/or chapters that are posted before they're ready. I once read a fanfic where the spelling and grammar were horrible, the characterization was bad, and overall it just plain sucked. I put this as gently as I could in my review, and I got the reply, "Oh, this is just a rough draft." Well then why in God's name was it posted? Seriously, you should never post a chapter until it's ready to stand on its own. Rough drafts aren't what gets published in actual book-writing, and the same applies to fanfiction. The only time I want to read a rough draft is when I'm beta-reading for somebody. If it's published, I assume that what you have posted is the finished product.
4. Talking heads. Dialogue should not exist separate from the prose. When characters talk, they move, sway, blink, gesture, etc. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes the best thing to have a character say is nothing at all, but simply to describe how they act. I understand that writing is not a visual medium, but if you remember to include character actions along with the dialogue, it will seem that much more like a real conversation.
5. Gratuitous sex, violence, etc. I don't mind reading about these concepts (or writing them, for that matter), so long as they serve the story and they're in-character. Have a REASON for including controversial material. I follow one rule above all others when writing: if it serves the story, put it in. If it doesn't, leave it out. No exceptions.
6. People censoring themselves. This goes hand in hand with #5. You should always USE THE WORDS YOU MEAN. Don't apologize. I follow a bit of advice that is best summarized by my pastor: "If I haven't offended at least one person, I haven't done my job." People are going to disagree with you. What's important is how you deal with those people.
7. Authors who forget that the readers are not psychic. If you forgo description in your story, you're setting yourself up big time. I want to be able to imagine the scene as though I had written it myself. You're essentially taking the movie playing in your head and putting it down on paper. Remember, I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote that; you have to convey your message in such a way that I'm not left wondering what the hell was going through your mind at the time.
8. Stories that go too fast. I hate it when I come across a story that has potential, only to find that the author has wasted it because they're in some sort of rush to get it finished. Remember, this is fanfiction; YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID, so you can take as long as you want. If the characterization isn't right, or you feel that you didn't explore an idea as much as you could have, SLOW THE HELL DOWN. Take your time. I'd rather read a good story than one that's updated quickly.
9. Authors who assume we know the characters. Okay, so this is fanfiction, and a lot of us already know who the characters are, but we're dealing with YOUR INTERPRETATION. If a character acts differently than they do in canon, explain it. Don't assume that we know how you see each character; tell us. This will also help those who have not seen the show to not feel left out. You should approach the characters as though your audience has only a casual knowledge of the show.
10. Emotion-swifties. Words like angrily, sadly, happily, etc. that people use when they're too lazy to actually describe the emotion. You want to make your readers feel with the characters, and as such, "...she said angrily" just doesn't cut it. What about the physical cues? Is she growling the words? Is she squeezing her hands so tightly that the nails dig into her flesh until she bleeds? Those are pretty obvious signs that she's angry. You can also construct the dialogue to reflect this without actually having to state that character X is angry.
That's another thing that bugs me: when people literally say, "He was angry." That shows no imagination at all. We should be able to tell that he's angry from the way that the vein in the center of his forehead is bulging, his teeth are ground tight together and the way he's growling like a rottweiler.
11. Using italics to denote dreams/flashbacks/memories/whatever. You are a writer; you should be using contextual clues to indicate where the reader is in the story, not typographical ones. Italicized flashbacks are a slap in the face when reading. It tells me that you don't think I'm smart enough to know that what I'm reading is a flashback, and consequently takes me out of the story. Flashbacks, used properly, can come as an absolute shock to the reader, but not when you announce it with a section break and all-italics. It's just too obvious.
12. Starting each scene with the location/time in bold. Unless you're writing fanfiction for J.A.G. or some such show that already uses that style, forget about it. It's annoying, and often pointless unless the tone of your story is heavily inspired by other works that use that style. I just see it tossed all over the place nowadays. It's just stupid at this point.
The following pet peeves apply specifically to KP stories:
13. Shego having a tragic background. Nothing wrong with it when done right, but seriously, this is the KP universe we're talking about. Evil isn't some dark, nebulous force to be feared; it's a glamorous lifestlye. Villains in KP have their own magazines, conventions, and even a legitimate corporation that supplies them with henchmen and doomsday devices. Shego very well could have grown to like this lifestyle and decided to switch sides. It really is that simple in such a world.
14. Shego drinking. Even being the hedonist that she is, Shego doesn't strike me as a person who would willingly hinder her performance, which is exactly what alcohol does. She needs to keep her reflexes sharp for fighting Kimmie. Drinking one's problems away is, quite literally, bottling them up, which goes against Shego's entire character. She is defined by her tendency to let out her emotions rather than hold them in. Why would she need to drink when she can just wail on some synthodrones or a certain world-saving cheerleader?
15. Ron becoming dark and brooding because of his monkey powers. I'm not talking about the occasional "note serious face;" it's good for him to be less of a fucktard at times. But his buffoonish antics define his character, and too many authors make the mistake of transforming Ron into this dark sage-like character because they think it makes him badass. Ron isn't meant to be badass. He's meant to be mischievous and funny. Even Zorpox is hilarious in his own melodramatic way. My point is that Ron is, at his core, a comedic foil to the main character. Anything else is just bad characterization.
16. Ron being extremely gifted at sex/having a 12 inch dong/anything along those lines. Come on people this is Ron we're talking about. Big hands don't necessarily guarantee that a guy's packing.And even if he is, it should still be a reasonable size (8 inches at the most) instead of some monster that could split Kim or any of the other KP women in half. Besides, if you write Ron as a sex god, people will start to question just what exactly you're compensating for. ;)
Tips For New Writers
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
-Sir Winston Churchill
1. Proofread. As the quote above demonstrates, I'm a bit of a grammar nazi (I'm OCD; I can't help it). It's no excuse if your word processor doesn't have spellcheck. Run a google search and find a program that does. Get a beta-reader. The point is make some effort to make your work readable.
2. Show, don't tell. It's never a good idea to pound readers over the head with the obvious stick. On the other hand, you don't want to leave them hanging. The trick is giving enough clues to let the reader figure it out on their own without actually spelling it out to them.
3. Listen to negative reviews. In fact, treasure them. They tell you what you need to work on and can help make you a better writer if you're willing to listen. Constructive criticism is infinitely more helpful than blind praise. Be glad the reviewer took time out of their busy schedule just to help you improve your writing. One of my best works was inspired by a well-rounded critique.
4. When writing songfics, don't write around the lyrics. When I first started writing these, I would cut-n-paste the lyrics and add paragraphs in between. This is very difficult to do, and many of my early works suffer for it. Contrary to visual entertainment, it's actually easier to add in songs after-the-fact. If at all possible, wait several chapters before implementing the song. Get your own ideas out there first. This will make it seem like the song was added to fit the story, not the other way around.
5. Don't write for the reviews. Be interested in what others have to say, but don't let popular demand determine what you write. Every writer ultimately writes for him/herself. It's always the stories on which we want feedback that we don't get it. Just write whatever your heart desires.
6. Don't be afraid to deviate from your original plan. Writing to me is like a bow and arrow. Any archer will tell you that trying to form an invisible line between the arrow and the target will result in you missing 100 percent of the time due to the nature of binocular vision. It's best to keep your eyes on the target, and let the arrow shoot itself. The same principle is at work in writing. Have an end in mind, but be flexible in terms of how you get there. Let the story write itself. It is often during the process of writing that we have our best ideas. Who knows, you may even wind up changing your ending.
7. Don't use cursing to use cursing. Have a reason for including controversial material. A majority of my fics are rated M, but I find that adult subject matter is often the most revealing. Still, whenever I include mature content, it is a conscious story-based and character-based decision to do so, and a responsibility no writer should take lightly. If it serves the story, put it in. If it doesn't, leave it out. It's that simple.
8. Use language to your advantage. Diction (word choice) and syntax (sentence structure) are your friends. As Mark Twain once said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Choose your words carefully. Also, employ syntax to full effect. A common effect I use is a bunch of short, choppy sentences to mirror the feeling that each event is happening one by one. When you want a dreamlike atmosphere, use extra long sentences. Atmosphere is one of the greatest tools available to the writer. Use it well.
9. Psychoanalyze. Get inside the characters' heads. It's a good idea to adopt a behavioral approach when writing scenes, as this will make it easier to determine how they might act in a given situation. A Freudian approach is useful for flashbacks, while cognitive theory is best suited for dialogue. Know each character inside and out. Taking a psychology class can be of tremendous help to a writer.
10. Always give credit where credit is due. Every writer has their own style of disclaimer, but as long as you say who owns/patented/copyrighted/sang what, you should be fine. And don't worry about using actual names. As long as you do them justice (or include them in a clever joke), it's fair use.
11. Wait a few hours before posting your story. This gives you time to work out any potential errors in your work. I find that I notice blatant flaws when I post some of my work, only to notice another right after I correct it and repost. Spend an afternoon reading and rereading your story, going over every minute detail until you are certain that you have ironed out all the creases. Then post your story.
12. Don't be afraid to scrap a project and start over from scratch. Regardless of how well (or ill) received it is, if it doesn't feel right in your mind, start over. I'm considering doing this with several of my fics.
13. Don't worry about failed ideas. We all have them. I pulled down one of my stories for good after realizing that it just plain sucked, and I'm considering doing it again. It happens. Just focus on what you're doing right, and keep doing it. At the very least, these experiences provide us with knowledge of what not to do next time. That is, unless you try to write Self-Insertion fics (something I NEVER plan to do). Those fly about as well as a brick, and can permanently damage your reputation if you're not careful.
14. Find your writing style. Everybody has that unique edge; something that differentiates them from other writers. Make a name for yourself rather than just copying other authors. You will never be able to do their style as good as they do simply because you are not them. It's okay to be inspired, but get your own ideas out there.
15. When in doubt, free-write. Not everything needs a clear cut outline. Just sit down, take a deep breath, concentrate on the idea in your mind, and start typing. A lot of my fics that seem to have an interwoven plot actually ended up that way on accident. I very often have no idea where I'm going with any given story.
16. Paint your scenes. Words are like the paint that an artist spreads across his canvas. Too much or too little can ruin a painting, and writing operates on the same principle. Sometimes it helps to describe where the scene will take place before even starting the character actions and dialogue. Prose is your friend. It may be a good idea to focus on a certain object if a character is going to interact with it later on. Imagery and symbolism are powerful tools as well.
17. Write character actions. Dialogue is only part of the equation. Actions speak louder than words, and often times the WAY somebody says something can be more powerful than what they actually say. If you remember to include gestures, movements, and facial expressions, you can flesh out the dialogue very easily and give it more force.
18. Above all, remember George Orwell's 6 rules of writing:
1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
Links:
Other people have 'em, so why not me?
KP Slash Haven:
My main hang-out. The site is dedicated to the KiGo ship, though we accept pairings of all sorts and have quite a host of open-minded, intelligent individuals who just like to talk about things that we have in common. It's a fansite, but at the same time it's also a thriving community. Definitely worth a visit, even if you don't slash anything. We won't judge you for it. Go ahead and join!
http://www.kpslashhaven.net/index.php
KP Slash Archive:
A sister site to Slash Haven, where all of our wonderful slash stories are archived. Some of mine are on there. You can download a legal copy of it by following the instructions on the main page.
http://archive.kpslashhaven.net/index.shtml
Adult Fanfiction.net:
This is where I post all of my mature work. You have to verify that you're over 18, so I don't think I'm violating the TOS by linking to it. The two sites are related, after all, even if they don't run on the same software. The link leads to my profile.
http://cartoon.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296813609
KryptonSite:
My new center of operations, and the place where I chronicle new work before I post it here. If you want to get involved in my creative process, post your feedback there.
http://www.kryptonsite.com/forums/index.php
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