OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
If you love God with your whole heart and are proud of it, copy this into your profile
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If your profile is long, copy and paste this into your profile to make it longer
If you should be doing your homework now, copy and paste this into your profile
For some reason, 68 percent of the Phangirl population thinks that Christine should have gone with Erik. If you're part of the intelligent 32 percent who thinks she should have just fallen into a hole and died, sparing Erik the painful torture of living with her, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: MyMindIsMyDarkSanctuary, Phantomofthebasket, BlackTippedRose, PhantomPenguin, dark-hearted rose, LisalikesPhantom, WanderingTeen, Fuzzy-Pamplemousse, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile
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If you've ever wondered what you would be like as a cartoon, copy and paste this into your profile
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If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.
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If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
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Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile
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If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
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Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Larxene II, Dragons Ark, freakyanimegal456, SheenaFujiFilm, vid-gamer-of-Hyrule
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