| demented cookies |
Author has written 18 stories for Artemis Fowl, Spider-Man, and Runaways. Before we start anything, let me make this clear: I am very picky about the fan fictions I read. I will not read them if I find more than two typos in the summary, I will not read them if I find a typo in the title, I will stop reading them if I think an OC is a Mary-Sue, I will not read them in screenplay/script format (with some exceptions), I will stop reading them if a character is OOC. Simple? Okay, then. Oh, another thing, just because it's come up lately: Please, even if you don't like me, please please don't flame me. I understand if you feel a need to. I have to admit, I myself sometimes want to beat the snot out of me with a hammer then eat my nose, but please just...don't. And I'm not just saying this for me, but for all the good boys and girls, men and women, dogs and cats, fleas and lice, prokaryotes and eukaryotes. All the living, loving beings on the Flying Spaghetti Monster's green earth who have been flamed. Please, know that we don't blame you for who you are. Even if you do feel the need to flame us, I won't hate you forever, because I believed the Beatles when they said love is all you need, my brother...or sister...or whoever you may be. Let down your hair and dance naked in the mosh pit at a Jimi Hendrix concert, join us in the quest for peace on fanfiction.net and blow your flames out. Name: You can call me Cookies, but my full name is Demented Double-Chocolate Chip Snickerdoodle Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Cookies. I know, kind of a mouthful. That's why I just stick to Cookies. Age: As of July 13, 2009, I am 4,946 days old. You do the math. Height: 167,640 millimeters Bio - Demented Cookies began writing and drawing picture books (albeit suckish ones) at the age of five, but didn't start writing "seriously" ("seriously" being used very lightly in this case) until the age of eleven. Oldest daughter of a writer and a nurse, Demented Cookies lives in the United States with her mother, father, sister, and two cats. She spends her days writing, drawing, playing/ listening to music, reading, tolerating school, and deleting the texts of an immature and extremely childish ex with no life. Some random things about me that I feel you may or may not need to know - I am a teacher's pet. I used to be the artist of a comic book, written by my friend. It was very silly. I like bluegrass music. Don't laugh at me. I am very competitive at times. Sometimes I like to dress up like a guy because it's funny when girls stare at me, thinking I'm the ugliest guy to walk the earth (I have short hair, and I can be pretty convincing sometimes). I am an atheist and evolutionist. Even though one (but probably both) of my heroes is religious and a creationist. I like to laugh at myself (and people like myself) I think my best friend is slowly brainwashing me. I am gorgeous, genius, and perfect all around. AND I am the Goddess of Modesty. I am obsessed with YouTube. I like talking about myself (I know. Hard to believe, right?) I made a yellow goldfish out of a lanyard but I thought it looked to religious so I gave it legs. I am destined to marry Artemis Fowl II. I drew that picture up there. Yeah, my avatar. It's Amy Ray, my hero. (She played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar: A Resurrection, which is funny and awesome because 1) she's not all that religious and 2) she's gay) My hair is purple. No joke. Things I like - food, sleeping, drawing, writing, playing/listening to music, Indigo Girls, my hair, reading, Artemis Fowl, His Dark Materials, school (I know, I'm a total teacher's pet), Dixie Chicks, cool stuff like the anarchist convention that you can take your grandparents to, my computer, cats, smoothies Things I would like to throw on the floor, jump on three times, disembowel with a rusty spoon, excrete out of my behind into a dirty toilet, and forget ever existed - people who think they're awesome and go around flaming people, violence, war, greed, spoiled people, shopping, Jonas Brothers & Miley Cyrus & any other singer who uses autotune and has their own TV show, TV commercials, most TV shows, TV in general, people who force their religion down your throat...actually the mere idea of religion infuriates me because it's one of the major causes of wars and violence and poverty in the past and if everyone would just accept the fact that we're all equal and would be kind WITHOUT having a reward in mind the world would be so much better, people who take atheisism much too seriously so they can't even look at a church without wanting to burn it, racism, sexism, homophobia I know the list is long. But if the world were a better place it would be shorter. And now...the news - OMFG I BLEACHED MAH HAIR!! I don't know what happened! One moment I was halfway through my fifth pint at the bar and the next I woke up on my grandparents' doorstep with a hangover and blond hair!! How could this have happened?? lol, and now it's purple. I dyed it about three days ago. I wanted a darker shade of purple, but I think I didn't leave it in long enough so it's purple-pink. I'm going to try and dye it some more and see if it gets darker. And oh my god. I just noticed I've been here for two and a half years...Oh. My. Fudgernoodling. God. Where the hell has all the time gone? It just flies, doesn't it? I was looking at "my stories" and I noticed one of my older ones was published in May 2007. That's over two years ago!! And Fairywings...(you know, the suckish series)...It seems like I got that idea last week! A little history here...You see, I like to fantasize about random things. When I'm bored (lying in bed waiting to go to sleep, in class, etc.) I often imagine about the guy I like, or I beat the shizzle out of the girl in my class who is without doubt the spawn of Satan and was sent to Earth to torture me, etc. So I was outside my house, waiting for my sister, and I imagined Artemis Fowl would come up out of the blue and, I don't know, ask for directions or something. Which he would never do, this is just my over active imagination. And it seems like yesterday that happened!! I still remember!! But that was at my old house. I moved over a year and a half ago. Wow. Wowzy-wow-wow. I get very sentimental when it comes to old memories. sob makes me want to sob cry sob. Ah, the good old days. | |||||||||||
1. Like Father, Like Daughter » reviewsArtemis III is nothing like her father, a wealthy businessman. But then she overhears her parents in a private conversation...please R&R. Rated for mild language and what might happen in later chapters.Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 38 - Words: 23,935 - Reviews: 157 - Updated: 7-3-09 - Published: 9-23-07 - Artemis F.2. Wings of Fairies » reviewsArtemis Fowl is stuck in San Francisco with relatives. When old foes turn up with new tricks, how can he help with an obnoxious, teenage basketball jock tagging along? A rewrite of Fairywings. If you haven't read Fairywings, don't. Read this one instead!Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,427 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 2-28-09 - Published: 1-30-09 - Artemis F. & Holly S.3. Fairywings » reviewsArtemis is in San Francisco visiting relatives when something bad, really bad, happens in Haven. How can he help with an annoying teenage basketball jock tagging along at his heels? Is Haven doomed? Better than it sounds! Please R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 9,726 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 1-30-09 - Published: 2-21-07 - Artemis F. & Holly S. - Complete4. Let it Snow reviewsArtemis gets an unexpected visitor on Christmas Eve. Haha, shortest summary ever. Look at all this room I have! Please R&R even if you don't celebrate Christmas. Christmas is kind of overrated anyway. I still have all this room! Ahh...this isOOPSNOMOREROOArtemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12-23-08 - Artemis F. & Holly S. - Complete5. Early Train reviewsThis is a kinda sadish fic about Commander Root, from Holly's perspective. I just heard this song, and just had to write this story, so here you go.Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 467 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-16-07 - Holly S. & Julius R. - Complete6. In Which Fantasy is Reality reviewsMolly has a new fav book. The story's a tale of adventure and the characters are daring and deadly. They escape the pages and invade the Runaways' world. Nico's the only one who can send them back but then falls in love with the deadliest of them all...Runaways - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-8-07 - Complete7. Sister Trouble » reviewsJordan is just one ordinary boy with an annoying sister. Meanwhile, LEP receives word that Opal's sister is out and about causing trouble. I'm running out of room...better than it sounds! Please read and review!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,224 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 8-25-07 - Published: 8-6-07 - Holly S.8. Rugby » reviewsArtemis meets the girl of his dreams and he'll do anything for her. At the same time St. Bartleby's rugby team tryouts are starting. What happens when Arty's girl tells him to join the team? better than it sounds. R&R please!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,514 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 8-1-07 - Published: 7-23-07 - Complete9. Never Forget Me reviewsBased on the song Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac, Artemis is staying in contact with Minerva after he returned from Hybras. Juliet doesn't like that...R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 478 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7-25-07 - Juliet B. & Artemis F. - Complete10. Fan Girl Attack on Chateau Paradizo reviewsRead and review to me what you think. Is Minerva a real Mary Sue who deserves to be hated like a wild maniacal animal or is she misunderstood. R&R.Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 7-18-07 - Complete11. Fairywings IV: Demon Overthrow » reviewsContinuing F III. Our heroes must proceed with the plan...the supposedly foolproof, couldbe fatal plan...to stop the villainous Commander Sool and a group of angry demons. I suck at summaries. Better than it sounds! R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,474 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7-12-07 - Published: 7-3-07 - Holly S. & Opal K. - Complete12. Caught in a Venus Fly Trap » reviewsKinda sucky title. Peter and MJ have absolutely forbade their daughter May to continue as SpiderGirl. But she is determined to stick with her identity. To prove herself, she decides to go after a duo that commit murder for fun...it may cost her her life.Spider-Man - Rated: T - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,263 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 6-21-0713. Fairywings III: Demon Uprising » reviewsThe third story in the Fairywings trilogy but with enough reviews I might make it a series. It's time for the Fowls to return to Ireland. The couldn't have picked a worse time. The demons want revenge... R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 9,006 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 5-21-07 - Complete14. A Midsummer Day's Reality » reviewsA dangerous fugitive is on the loose. It's up to Artemis and Holly to find him and bring him back to Haven. But crashlanding in Athens isn't quite what they expected. Another crossover of mine. I love crossovers!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,393 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-3-07 - Published: 1-20-07 - Artemis F. & Holly S. - Complete15. Doorway to Cittàgazze » reviewsREWRITTEN! YAY! Artemis has created a door. Not just any old door. It leads to other worlds! But what about Specters, the maneating creatures invisible to kids? Ugh, I suck at summaries. Better than it sounds, much better. R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,217 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6-3-07 - Artemis F. & Juliet B.16. Fairywings II: Prisoner of Alcatraz » reviewsSequel to Fairywings. Artemis is still in SF and he thinks Lauryn knows nothing of the people. He doesn't know how wrong he is. And Mulch is in trouble. Can they save Mulch without getting themselves killed too?Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 7,811 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-21-07 - Published: 4-10-07 - Artemis F. - Complete17. Fan Fiction Gone Wild reviewsWhat would happen if the characters from your fan fiction came to life and started messing up your house? And blew up your car? And ate your comic books? Oneshot.Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 5-10-07 - Complete18. Clone Saga » reviewsSomeone is back. Someone that died many years ago. Someone that Artemis and Holly miss dearly. But when they learn more about him, they wish he had never left the underworld... R&R!Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,205 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-1-07 - Published: 4-30-07 - Complete