Twin1: So, I suppose you're wondering who this nutcase is.

Twin2: Or, to be more precise, two nutcases.

Twin1: True, true. There are two of us, twin sisters, Twin1 and Twin2. We are two different people, two different personalities and two different writing styles. We see no reason to inform the internet stalkers of our age, geographical position or similar, so draw your own conclusions. TwinTrouble values their privacy - which is why family generally knocks before opening the bedroom door. Twin2 is a very good shot and has constant access to ammo. Often sharp and/or exploding ammo.

NOTE: To prevent bickering, whining and a general waste of space, the profiles of Twin1 and Twin2 have been written separately.

Twin1: HELLO!! Yellow!!

I’m the one you want to talk to on any given day; peacemaker, romantic, and the one who'll hand it to you straight as a skewer to the heart. My favourite sections to write are adventure and drama, and I like reading (but have been banned from writing ever again by my twin) romance. I am also usually the one who writes any angst present in our stories. I hate abandoning stories and am generally much more persistent in finishing them than Twin2. I write stories mostly, and the occasional poem; believe me, it’s good that they’re occasional. I write oneshots happily, but not to the same extent my sister does, and drabbles are just a no. I generally write some form of humour into my stories, whether it’s meant to be there or not, and if it is meant to be there, my readers will be in stitches within minutes.

My muse’s name is Namma, and she’s a five-year-old kid that Twin2’s muse has to remove from the Biology hall before classes start. She changes age depending on what I’m writing, but usually she’s a little kid; reflects my inner mentality, I suppose. When I’m in a bad mood, however, she turns into an armed teenager. She is generally bouncy, carefree and persistent, but she can be so sadistic at times that it’s scary…

9-6-09
Writing stories is like jumping on the couch. It’s fun, until the couch breaks and you fall through and get stuck.

12-6-09
Disney is where literature goes to die.

4-7-12

Hi everyone! Here’s something important:

I am looking for an illustrator for an original story that I have written. I will need 10-15 paintings similar in quality to the Dinotopia books. The artist will be paid, of course, for the commission. Anyone up for the challenge? If so, PM me or email me at my ffdotnet email account, twintrouble1001(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)au.

Twin2: Me, I’m the violent one, with a love of blood and a nasty streak to boot. My favourite sections to be writing in (and reading, too) are adventure, fantasy and angst. The one thing I draw the line at is romance of any kind; I detest romance and love and all the icky stuff. And yes, I know how immature I sound. I simply don’t like romance. But I write full-length adventures, angsty oneshots, fun oneshots (with Twin1), collections of drabbles and any plotline that takes my fancy will get run with, if only for a couple of days. I recently hit the 100-story mark on my checklist; sixty percent of these will never go beyond the first or second chapter, eighty seven percent will never reach completion, eighty nine percent will never see the light of day after I’ve finished with them and ninety percent will never make it to the Internet.

Twin1: Yes, she actually calculated those percentages. Is she crazy or what?

Twin2: Go away, Twin1, you’ve had your turn to talk. This is MY profile. I am extremely fussy with what I write, and nothing substandard gets by, OR ELSE.

My muse’s name is Shatterfall, and she looks to be… what, eighteen? Hard to tell. She is violent, vindictive and sadistic when it comes to torturing characters and annoying readers. She’s meticulous and insists on everything being perfect, even more than I do, which is why I’m a perfectionist at heart myself. She's very creative, and can pull random plotlines out of thin air just from me glancing at something.

14-5-09
Today, I had an argument with myself during my Physics class that turned so vicious I stormed out of my own head in tears. No, I am not joking. This single incident should give you a fairly good impression of my general mentality. On the other hand, I’m still sane enough to know that I’m crazy.

1-6-09
Being ill is annoying. Snot is disgusting. It should not be possible to have something of that volume crammed up your nose.

1-8-09
Okay. When you start thinking about fanart for a story that’s not even written yet and is BURIED in the “I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE YOU, DAMMIT!” pile, you need to go do something else. Fast.

Reviews: Yes, we appreciate that you like our work. Mind telling us why? Three-word reviews are astonishingly irritating, and if we want to get any better, we at least need to know where we’re going wrong!

Flames: We laugh at flames. They amuse us, because we know exactly where we sit in the scale of competence in writing, and we are confident in our ability. Flaming us only points out your own ineptitude or points out something Twin2 was probably already upset about anyway. We love flames, for they are funnier than our English teacher attempting to actually teach! Please do flame, as they often point out things we could improve on! Please flame! Where’s FlameRising when you need him?!

Twin1: Okay, seriously guys, where the hell are our flames? We have a LOT of stories up now, some of which are getting extremely outstripped by our writing abilities…

Twin2: Which reminds me, I need to delete some old stuff.

Twin1: …and exactly ONE flame! Please, guys, if you hate our writing, FLAME US! Flames are one of the best tools we’ve got to improve with, and seriously, a bit of criticism is what we WANT! Besides, we’re pyromaniacs. Flames are fun. Mwahaha.

Twin2: Not to mention, for some weird reason she likes being screamed and raved at in multiple curse languages…

4-3-10

Twin2: Seriously, people. FLAME US.

Twin1: Not one flame since we last requested them! What, do I have to post a Mary-Sue story to get a decent flame around here?!

Twin2: We haven't even been flamed for the self-insert one!

Twin1: *sobs*

Quotes:

Twin2: “WHY in the name of God are you a negative?”

Conductor: “That D-flat’s wrong!”
Alto: “We have a D-flat?”

P: “By the way, BB tried to hook me up with you.”
Twin2, who was the indicated person in that sentence, goes pale, and then red. Before she can explode, Twin1 asks, “What did you say to her?”
P: “After I stopped laughing? ‘In case you missed the memo, BB, Twin2 does not like the human race’.”

P: Twin1, your eyes are precious. Now avert them while I do something really stupid.

P: “If you intend to bicker, I will give you both clubs, stick you in a hole, and whoever wins, shall be shot.”

Twin2: “All roads lead to the Harry Potter fandom, for some reason…”

Twin1: “Oh! Cool!”
Twin2: “Hm?”
Twin1: “I forgot this was a children’s book and not a perverted fanfiction!”

Twin2: Twin1 has geostigma.
Twin1: I fell off my bike, okay?! It’s BRUISES!
Twin2: It’s very sad. Does anyone have Aerith’s phone number?
Twin1: Bruises! Sheez! I’m not normally the voice of reason!

These are our currently posted stories with an interesting status.

Animorphs: The Daughter
Y’know, that last cliffhanger was almost too much too bear. We know it, you know it, everyone who reads the Animorphs knows it. So now, we have taken it upon ourselves to finish what K. A. Applegate started. Insanity ensues, particularly when Jake’s strongwilled daughter becomes a sudden and unexpected target. Guess what? She’s not happy about it, either…

Officially abandoned. We can’t even look at it without getting headaches. It was begun when we were thirteen, inexperienced, and altogether it’s not worth the effort it would take to rework the plot and the rest of the story into something we could use. Sorry for those of you who were holding out for it. Anyone want to adopt it?

Eragon: Double Double Trouble
Twin girls. Twin eggs. The runaways. Can they hide from the Empire long enough to escape? Or will they be captured and forced into service? But... does anyone know what they're capable of? Whatever the case, there's trouble stirring...
An epic adventure featuring two stubborn girls and a twin dragon egg found in a curious twist of fate. Follow their adventure across Alagaesia and beyond as they fight to overthrow Galbatorix and discover one or two secrets along the way.

Complete, at last. Sorry for the wait. Have you ever tried to reconstruct twenty pages from memory?

Final Fantasy VII: The Art of Innocence
Zack has returned, not from the dead, but from hiding. Cloud is relieved to see the old friend he had to keep swearing was dead, but Tifa and the others don’t quite get what’s going on…

Oneshot, crack, no pairings. It did have a plot, but the plot escaped... You'll see what we mean.

Final Fantasy VII: Movie Time
If Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth ever watched Advent Children. Because that movie is an extremely bad way to be introduced to the FFVII fandom.

Both of us were inducted into the fandom, on separate occasions, by this movie. Both times, it took four hours to watch, because the friend who owned the movie had to keep stopping and explaining various parts of the plot, including who the hell everybody was, and why none of it made sense.

Naruto: Bad Timing
Illogical, unexpected, and damn annoying. There are many things you don’t want to happen the night before an exam, and THIS would definitely be one of them! No pairings.

This is utter crack. Oneshot.

Naruto: Dogtags
Pet: n. 1. A fit of bad temper or pique. 2. An animal kept for amusement or companionship. 3. Uzumaki Naruto, host of Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Twin1’s recent project. She's proud of it, too.

Naruto: The Life Game
Hatake Sakumo has a kind heart, so he didn’t think twice about taking on the orphan child of his old teammate. However, when that child happens to be an Uchiha, things start to get messy as he must balance work, custody battles and his own young son.

Twin1's. Next chapter will be out once Twin2 finishes editing it.

Pokémon: Winging It
Everyone wants to be a Master… right? But what comes after all of the trials have been overcome, friends have been found and lost, and evil has been destroyed? What was the cost of everything that happened? Meet the youngest Pokémon Master the world has ever known, and see the world through her eyes as an evil she thought dead is resurrected and the life she tried to leave behind catches her up.

Twin2's pride and joy, not complete. 'Fall is playing with it, though...

Pokémon: Out Of The Darkness
Normal? What’s that? We’re anything but normal. Kidnapped, altered, nearly murdered... Why me? Why us? And why is everyone trying to kill me? I trust only my fellow Pokémorphs, who escaped alongside me, and my sister, supposedly dead. I guess insanity runs in the family...
Once I could only hide from them. Hide in the darkness, and although I still try, although I am of the darkness now, I stand out more than ever before. Now, all I can do is run, and to pause is to die, or to be dragged back to a fate worse than death. And it’s only so long before one of us trips up...

Another of Twin2's little projects. Twin2's muse has been throwing a hissy fit, and has decided she 'doesn't like' it anymore. Pending rewrite. If you want a current copy, get it now - possible deletion also pending.

Warriors: Little One
Oneshot. Basically plotless. Essentially a musing on clan life from the eyes of kittypets, with a bit of humour and ‘aww’ mixed in.

This is a list of stories that we are considering posting; some of them (read: most) will not make it up, and this list is considerably shortened from what we COULD post.

Naruto: All Ninja Lie
Honesty has no place in a society built on lies. That was the whole reason the Uchiha Clan Incident got so out of control, right? Any shinobi could tell you truth is overrated.

Naruto: Winner Takes All
His whole world has been smashed apart into fragments of pain and fear. Struggling to pull it back together again, the perceptions of outsiders who don’t yet know him make things both better and worse. Time-travel, somewhat AU.
A Twin2 work, and is only being posted on the insistence of Twin1, as for some reason she really likes it. Summary subject to abrupt change as Twin2 is not happy with it.

The Writer’s Corner
A series of articles in story form set in the local university, based around a young professor named Red who is determined to get rid of all the crappy writers. Shape up, or ship out! Welcome to the Writer’s Corner Lectures!

In other news: the wonderful Faiyuuhi has drawn fanart for Unplanned Paternity, with the promise of more on the way.

ANBU!Kakashi and young Naruto - First Lesson, http://faiyuuhi.deviantart.com/art/First-Lesson-280727533

If this link is not working, please let Twin2 know so she can swear at the site again and argue it into submission. Thank you very much and have a nice day.

Twin2: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY LINE BREAKS?!