MAJOR ALERT!!

Okay, it's not, unless you actually care about me or my stories (sniff). I, celestial dragon rider, am an idiot!

Yes, I believe we probably knew this from the beginning.

Caleb: (raises hand) I did.

Me: Shut up, Caleb. I'm leaving you behind.

Caleb: What? What kind of crap is this? I was here for you! Through thick and thin, popcorn and chocolate! How could you do this to me?

Me: Deal with it. Edward Cullen, welcome into my head.

Edward: (glances at Caleb) Wow, I am considerably hotter, paler, deeper, more mysterious, and taller than you. Also, I have better teeth and I'm a vampire. Now get out of here.

Caleb: Fine, I'll leave for now. But I'll be back! (laughs creepily and disappears)

Me: Wow, that was weird. Anyway, I'm replacing Caleb, because the real announcement is that:

I have quit writing W.i.t.c.h. and am going to begin writing TWILIGHT!

Edward: Whee... can I go now?

Me: No, your new job is to sit next to me at my computer while I write and occassionally criticize me or say something funny.

Edward: Sounds boring.

Me: You can deal with it too.

Edward: If I'm doing this I'm going to need some Vitamin Water.

Me: You're a vampire. You don't drink water. You drink-

Edward: Yes, I am aware of the fact that I drink blood. I think every teenage girl on the planet is aware of that. What you aren't aware of is that I'm actually Robert Pattinson, and I'm human, and Edward is only a character that I play in the movie. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll grab my Vitamin Water now.

Me: It's in the mini-fridge. Wait, you said Edward isn't real? HOW DARE YOU! (takes off flip flop and throws it at his head)

Edward: That might have hurt if it was an actual shoe instead of a sandal made out of foam.

Me: Yeah I know. Curse my love of flip flops!

Edward: Whatever. Stop throwing shoes at my head and start writing, idiot.

Me: Yeah, you go get your vitamin water, prissy boy. (begins to write)

(Zac Efron walks in)

Zac Efron: Hey.

Me: (continues writing) Mmm.

Zac: Watcha doin'?

Me: I'm writing. Why don't you go and get a Vitamin Water with Edward and leave me alone?

Zac: Fine. You don't have to give me the cold ankle.

Me: It's the cold shoulder.

Zac: Whatever. You better start writing.

Me: Will people please stop telling me that?

(Stephenie Meyer walks in)

Steph: Yes, you know, you'll never finish a story if you don't start writing and just write your profile page. I didn't finish four award-winning bestsellers, the Twilight Saga, by writing about myself and fictional characters in my head. I stayed up at night-

Me: Yes, I know the story, but please, if you just leave me alone, I will write.

Steph: Fine. Even though we're all just your imagination, like those little people in the brain control center, to signify the process of thought.

Me: You're not the process of thought. You're the process of ANTI-thought! Now go away!

(She disappears)

Me: Wow, that was all entirely weird. Again. I should probably start writing. Wish me luck in the World of Twilight!

BTW:

Basic endings for all my stories:

Amnesia: You guessed it, it would have been a happy ending, perhaps disgustingly so. Caleb loves Corny, Corny loves Caleb, blah blah blah. Although it may have been more interesting...

Eyes for the Land: Maybe Cornelia would have turned bad and then murdered Elyon and Will. Or the other ways around. Either way.

Fortress: Okay, that was a nerd moment for me. Eragon? Yes, I have problems. Plus, I just got lazy on that one. There seemed to be no future.

Knocked Up: I admit, I may continue this one...

Since You Been Gone: Yes, I know I spelled 'U' with 'you' instead of like the actual song...so I'm a grammar freak! It doesn't show! Ahem. Oneshot. Never a future.

What Happens When Witch Isn't OnScreeen: This is my absolute favorite story. It's wacko! And I love it! So maybe on a lazy day I'll post a new chapter. Maybe...

~THE END~

(But also maybe not)

Updated WHATEVER TODAY IS! 2009

Hello. My name is celestial dragon rider. Well, not really.

I'm blonde. Well...okay...a DIRTY BLONDE! WAAAAH! But I do have naturally wavy hair. That's a plus, right? RIGHT?! Despite what you might think, I get all A's on my report card. HA.

I have tealish blue eyes, and I'm skinny and kind of tall. I love plants and books and animals.

I live in a faraway land...actually, that depends on where you live. Which I really don't know.

I love W.i.t.c.h., Scrubs (isn't Janitor hilarious?), American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Greek, the Big Bang Theory, Whose Line is it Anyway, 30 Rock, Chobits, and Saturday Night Live.

My fave movies are all the Austin Powers flicks, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls, ALL PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MOVIES!!, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, Step-Brothers, Eragon, and, yes, I'm sorry, High School Musical movies.

I like cheesy things because I am a cheesy, yet sometimes cynical person. My best friend once compared my life to High School Musical. In reply, I asked,"Then where is my Zac Efron?" I don't care what everyone else thinks, I think he is somewhat cute. Repeat, SOMEWHAT. You don't find anyone remotely like Zac Efron at my country hick school. I did once go to Theatre Camp, where there was this guy who looked like him, but then most of those Theatre Camp dudes are gay. Or at least femme. Gay dudes are a girl's best friend. Literally. Not like diamonds.

I love to read. Some of my all-time favorite books are Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, Eragon and Eldest by Christopher Paolini, anything by Lurlene McDaniel or Jodi Picoult, Inkheart, Inkspell, Dragon Rider, and the Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke, East by Edith Pattou, and anything Meg Cabot.

I am a bit obsessed with dragons and vampires. What awesome creatures! Well, vampires are more like people, I guess. I love their struggle to fit in, to love, and to be loved. It's like, if you fell in love with a salad or something, but you were really hungry. Although salads aren't sexy (unless you're kind of weird.)

I love being me, which includes being weird, watching sunsets, making fun of North Dakota (don't ask), dancing, making people laugh, having fun, my dog, daughter of Beethoven from the movies (her name is Molly), staring at the sky in the day and at night, exploring, reading, and a lot of other things that I don't remember right now.

Music: I love Maroon 5, Carrie Underwood, Fall Out Boy, Rihanna, Hinder, Neil Young, the Beatles, Bread, Meatloaf, War, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Heart, Chicago, Shania Twain, Ryan Cabrera, Beyonce, the Veronicas, Lady GaGa, Flo Rida, the White Tie Affair, and a ton more that I ALSO can't remember right now. Pretty much anything on the Top 20 Countdown.

I love to write, read, and draw. I am a painter/sketch artist and I'm trying new styles every day.

Other things I hate include:

Will and Caleb pairings. They may both be leaders, but Caleb and Cornelia were made for each other, and that's what the Rebels and I are fighting for. And by the Rebels, I mean all who defend and write the CxC pairing. But it doesn't mean that I automatically hate anyone or their WxC story. I think that if you are a good writer, it works. There are a lot of good WxC stories out there. (But they're still kind of freaky to me.) If you're a good author, no matter what you write, even if it's a subject people hate, they are still glad that you are writing. I may try a WxC story this summer, even. It's good to try new things.

Winters without snow. That's just messed up.

Annoying adults who treat you like you're five. I want to punch them. Hard.

Not being outside all day. I love the outdoors!

Animal cruelty. They can't stand up for themselves and it's not fair for humans to misuse power.

I love to quote T.V. shows and my friends. Here are some I have collected:

"And you, you one-man freakshow, take your blah-blah to the blah-blahologist, because if you were so stupid as to confront the chief of medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel."-Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs

"I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."-Dr. Evil, Austin Powers 2, The Spy Who Shagged Me

"You can think I'm wrong, but that doesn't mean that's no reason quit thinking." -Dr. Gregory House, House

"What am I going to do with this?" Drake

"I don't know! Give it to a hobo!" Josh, from Drake and Josh

"Security, another hobo broke into the classroom!" a teacher from Drake and Josh

"We're living in the 27th century." -Justice, my weird (femme) friend

"Isn't it more likely that the highway is moving and it's not really your car moving, it's just a big scam from the gas companies?" -My best friend, on this site known as "Sabbatha."

"Isn't it more likely that when you're watching TV, the TV is actually watching you?"-Sabbatha

So, one day, Sabbatha is following Justice around, singing circus music, and he stops and asks her,"Why are you doing that?" She replies,"I'm preparing you for your future career."

"Mom, there's pain pills in your Tictacs!" -my dad

(From Spongebob Squarepants, the TV show that has a super-special, glowing golden place in my heart!)

Old dude: Hey, you!

Spongebob: Top of the morning, oldster!

OD: Hey, I saw you on TV last night!

Commercial: New Bran Flakes. Bold new taste. Bran Flakes.

SB: You did?

OD: Yeah, you were on a commercial!

SB: You're right! Wow! He recognized me!

OD: Yep, see ya later Bran Flakes! What a nice cereal box!

I'll add more later. Right now is a list of guys that I will save my heart for forever:

Edward from Twilight (Remember, I love vampires!)

Eragon from Eragon and Eldest (What? He's totally cute. In the books, not the movie.)

Murtagh, the movie guy (Yeah, I think he's cute too, so sue me!)

That one dude from Blood Ties (He's a vampire, too and he totally looks like this one artist I saw at this huge art show whose name was Haakon. He had long curly hair and was HOT)

AND MY ONE TRUE LOVE IS:

Drumroll, please!

Hoping someone real by now, lol!

And now, some kind of deep, philosophical quotes: (FYI: I'm a hippie.)

"I shall fight no more forever." -Chief Sitting Bull

"Know the power that is peace." - Chief Black Elk

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." -A bumper sticker

"We're the deciders."-A war protest sign

So, if you want to know any more about me or be my penpal (yeah, right) or some other third thing I can't think of right now, then just write me! Click that little thing up at the top that says,"Send Message." Oh, yeah, and I won't bore you by listing my stories, because they're at the bottom of this anyway. R and R and thanks for your time!