Fanfiction Related Stuff

I sort of groan when I read over most of my stories. Even my favorites among them are pretty bad... Oh well. They're going to stay up, though, because this is the internet and no one knows me in real life and fanfiction.net, except for a very small number of friends.

Bio

Real name: I have a really, really cool name. My awesome name is

Age: It has two digits.

Gender: Guess - you have a 50 percent chance of being right.

Height/weight: Between 3'8'' to 8'3''/30 to 300 pounds

Address: Earth, Milky Way, The Multiverse. I function mainly on the Prime Material Plane, though.

Notes: I like books! And sutff...

If I quoted your profile or story and you really want it taken down, just send me a message, and I'll take it down. Really. Just, please please PLEASE don't sue me. I don't have that much money anyway...

My favorite fanfictions to read are ... Um... Whatever. Anything.

I read lots of fics, mostly of stuff I've just read/watched.

I am a total sucker for fluff, as you can probably guess if you look at my favorites. I can't write it, though. I'm not even going to try writing actual, real fluff because I know it'll suck.

A lot of things really annoy in some fics I come across. Other than the obvious (people that need a spell checker, or a grammar review, or a lesson in storyteling) there are more specific things that annoy me:

AU stories, written badly. I mean, sure, if you WANT Harry to have been born a girl and fall in love with Hermione go for it, but remember there's a difference between AU and crackfic. BIG difference.

PWP that pretend to not be PWP. If someone is into reading that stuff (like me, sometimes) they will, but make sure that fanfic virgins know to stay away.

Harry Potter Fandom:

It might be debatable as to whether Remus/Sirius is cannon or not, but it is most definately hot. Best pairing ever, in fact. Also, Sirius/James and Remus/James are good, although there aren't as many of those (the whole Lily thing...).

I am kinda getting into the Harry/Draco fandom... But it's not very good if it's a happy-go-lucky fluff-fest, usually. I mean, even worse than most happy-go-lucky fluff fests. I'm sure it's possible, though.

Tortall Fandom:

I hate Prince Jon in general,- he's more tolerable as King Jon, but I still don't like him. That explains my Alanna/George preference. Wait, I don't really like Alanna either. Well, I guess it's cause I like George then, it makes him happy and that makes me happy:P You could say he has competition in Liam, but hardly anyone writes stories about him.

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Why are there barely any Will/Elizabeth stories? Jack/Elizabeth are about a thousand times more common :(

You know the guy with the scars that works for Beckett in Pirates of the Carribbean? Well, me and my friend decided we couldn't just refer to him as Ugly Guy With Scars. So he became U.G.W.S.,or Ug for short. Unfortuntely, by the time we figured this out Davy Jones was in the process of stuffing tentacles up his nose. Ug's nose, I mean. To kill him, you know? I don't mean Davy Jones was picking his nose. Come on, people!!

Farewell, sweet Ug. May you rest in peace.

:P

I also frequently haunt the Gravitation stories. Yaoi is so hot.

I friggin' WORSHIP Seguchi Tohma. I want to be just like him one day. He is a god. He has unlimited power and he is a heartless control freak. Okay, he has a heart sometimes... That's good. One needs a heart to pump blood. One needs blood to live. I learned that in 7th grade!!

I've just discovered the joy that is Tatsuha. He is completely awesome. He can be paired with Shuichi, Tohma, Ryuichi, whover (just not Yuki, Ewww). He rocks everyone's world.

Some offense, many people really mess Ryuichi up when they write about him. Sure, maybe there's a reason he acts like a five year old, but it's just as likely that he's bipolar and WILL ALWAYS act like a hyperactive kid. Don't try to change it, but don't go overboard. He's not an idiot. But, neither will he randomly start to act all serious, even if he has something important to say. See Gravitation Ex #1 (which sucked, by the way).

Have you ever noticed that in every fandom there are some details that appeaer in almost every story? It's like one author came up with something, and other people thought it was cannon and started using it, because they were afraid that people would think that they don't really know the cannon well.

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE flame me. It's fun to read.

My Neopets id is DJ_khen, in case you care. Yes, I know Neopets is lame but I'm mostly on it for chatting with my international peeps.

Hi, these are randon quotes that I feel like putting here. I don't know how many I'm going to have, and they don't reflect my interests, so yeah. They just prove how utterly random I am. They also, conveniantly, each come with their own witty or sarcastic comment, bacause I'm bored I MEAN because I love you. Yay (squeals with delight) I'm more random than you-oo, I'm more random than you-oo, hahaha!

(takes a deep breath) Okay, I'm better now. I'll stop... For now...

"When people put unkown at the end of a quote, it means that they don't know how to spell anonymous"

-Unknown (No, seriously, how do you spell it?)

“You tell me one thing in your life, one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you really and truly believe.”

“I believe...” Christian gazed at the ceiling a moment. “I firmly believe that Ann Margret has never been given her due as an actress."

"Duh," said Aaron, “for Tommy alone—and did you see when she played...?” He paused, catching himself. “BUT IS THAT SOMETHING YOU CAN BUILD A LIFE ON?!”

Christian thought this over. It seemed remotely feasible.

-Latter Days novelscreenplay by C. Jay Cox, adapted by T. Fabris

"I'd give you a cookie, but I don't have one, andf if I did, I wouldn't give it to you."

-My friend B who goes by Kana090 on fanfiction.net (Such a kind, giving friend... I am lucky.)

"I am the master of my own destiny.

I shall be a god in my own right.

I think I just set my pants on fire... But it matters not!"

-Ethan in Ctrl+Alt+Dlt (Dont'cha hate it when that happens?)

"Just remember, hating me won't make you pretty."

-Scotty Vanity (I love you...)

"The best part of 'Believe' is the 'lie'."

-From Fall Out Boy's song Sophomore Slump (My favorite FOB song)(At one point)

"I have an idea. It starts with 's' and ends with 'litting their throats.'"

-Belkar, in Order of the Stick #72 (Gotta love that psycho little hobbit!)

"Dying is Nature's way of saying, Hey, you're not alive!"

-Someone's proflie... (Also, ha-ha!)

" Don't really care for boys yet. Yeah, hotness, but personality? USUALLY lacking."

-My friend B (See, when I quote people I give them credit for it!!) (If you're not B, ignore that last comment)

"Maybe I should move to Canada. They don't have jobs in Canada, right?"

-Ethan in Ctrl+Alt+Dlt (Swoot!)

“You’re the one that brought up the idea of grandchildren, and we all know the process of creating them. I’m merely continuing conversation.”

-Elizabeth, to Governor Swann, in unacymbal's story Intense Longing (Ouch.)

"We'll give it the best sendoff any crazy voice could ask for."

-Dewie in Malcolm in the Middle (Aww... How sweet.)

"I'm taking a poll for my church. I was wondering if you had a relationship with God."

"Well erm... We really aren't on speaking terms... I made a joke about how his glasses make him look emo, and well he didn't take that too well."

-Checkers and Waf in The Day it Snowed. (The glasses really do sorta make him look emo. http://tdis.comicgenesis.com/d/20040102.html)

"You got run over and met a girl? All in one day? Well sheessh. My afternon sounds pretty dull in comparison."

"Cap'n, sir, the kitchen is on fire. Again."

"Aye, first mate. Dully noted."

"Arrr... I feel pretty."

"Also dully noted."

-Ethan and Zeke the X-bot in Ctrl+Alt+Dlt 20040827(Just the first sentence would be worthy of being included in my profile)

"If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught, then lie."
-Unknown

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
- Charles Schultz

"Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator."

-Unknown

(This is very true

Haikus don't always make sense

But they're fun to write)

"Some people are like slinkies; they're completely and utterly useless, yet they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
-Unknown

"So a hot girl quotes me to me... Is that wrong if that turns me on?"

-Pete Wentz in some weird One Tree Hill episode (Is it? Is it really??)

"It's a fairly common misconception that you can't make windows out of brick. Most people feel that brick is too soggy. I assure you, it is a shoe. Scientists have discovered that nine out of ten shoes are numb. This brings up the disturbing question: DOES COFFEE BLEED? If it in fact does, then one must consider the possibility that all life is but a giant cake mold. But instead of delicious, gooey cake batter we are filled with... raisins."

-Chef Brian in Ctrl+Alt+Dlt (Everything I've ever believed in is a lie...)

"Oh, it's just a flying saucer."

-Fry in Futurama (Oh, well then I guess everything is normal.)

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
-Mel Brooks (Totally!)

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"
-Adam Savage, on Mythbusters (And in my reality, "twenty" means "thirty". So there.)

"It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a new crew in Tortuga, and proceed to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasly black guts out."

-Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (Hah, this is one I say very often...)

"To most people, solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists, solutions are things that are still all mixed up."

-Annonymous (That is so deep. No, really.)

"Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig,

Does whatever a Spider-Pig does.

Can he swing

From a web?

No he can't-

He's a pig

Look out - He is a Spider-Pig."

-Homer Simpson in The Simpsons Movie (in 2-D!!) (I cannot stop humming this.)

"Hatchet-man, hatchet-man,

Does whatever a hatchet can.

Can he swing

From a web?

No he can't-

He's a pig

Look out - He is the Hatchet-man/Spider-Pig (depending on our mood)."

-Me, my brother, my friend V and this dude B, and S, on everything from Pencil-man to Battery-man to Loser-man (Okay, so only me and my brother sing the web part.)

"Order of the Phoenix however...well, let's just say J.K. Rowling is going to get a VERY strongly worded letter in the near future...!"

-Kay Nosae in a review of Theiving Gypsy's story Fairy Boys (Hurray for strongly worded letters! I miss Sirius too... He pwnd.)

"Shine, Grasshopper, shine!"

-Hyde in That 70's Show (He's teaching Jackie how to be Zen)

"Disclaimer: If Harry Potter belonged to me, Sirius and Remus would’ve spent the sixth and seventh books alive, snogging, and throwing darts at a picture of a certain pink-haired witch. Since Harry Potter has a sad lack of dart-throwing, it’s obvious that Harry Potter & Co. belong to one JKR, and not me."

-xxanglophilexx in his or her story What It Means (Yes, I have to agree. It's sadly lacking in snogging, too.)

"Day 12

Crush on Daine will pass, then can go back to being best friends with her, too.

Midwinter

DAMN!"

-Numair in a thousand winds's story The Very Secret Diary of Numair Salmalin (But it's funny only if you've read The Immortals series by Tamora Pierce.)

" “What, you’re not gay are you?” Sirius asked.

“How thick are you?” asked James incredulously “You were with me and Pete when we found Moons with that Smith bloke in that cupboard.”

“I thought they’d just got locked in.” said Sirius.

“Smith had his hand up Remmy’s top!” exclaimed Peter.

“I thought he’d just slipped.” said Sirius, looking shocked.

”Moons had his tongue in Smith’s mouth.” said James. "

-The Maurauders in Faramirlover's story Gold Nail Varnish (So what? Siri's just a little slow!!)

"First the firefighters, then the math teachers, and so on in that fashion..."

-Lurr in Futurama (Oh... It all makes sense now)

“You. . .You love me in return?” he asks...

“Of course I do. Did you ever think differently?”

“Well, accepting Norrington's proposal threw me, I'll admit but--”

Will and Elizabeth in KeatsLove's story God Awful Hat (BURN!!)

"It annoys me when you Attempt to speak English, 'I saw monkey, he's also emo.' does NOT mean 'I'd like to make reservations for two.'"

-Yuki in NariNari's story 100 Ways to Annoy Yuki (Oh, good to know)

"Llamas are the new turtles."

-Me (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE turtles. But llamas have more looks.)

"I would have made a good Pope."

-Richard M. Nixon (cough)

"BLUE IS A COLOR!!"

Cosmo in The Fairly Oddparents (HE ALSO LIKES PIE!!)

"No, I sicken me, because you're supposed to sicken me, but you don't."

-Hyde in That 70's Show (To Jackie, obviously)

"Torquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly!"

-A Slaad in Order of the Stick #68 (Durr! Who doesn't know that?)

"But why is the rum gone?"

Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (A grave conundrum, indeed)

"If they're lucky, the druids will find them before the dire weasles do."

-Bandit Leader in Order of the Stick #169 (Or the dire lemmings. You do NOT want to mess with those.)

"You make it sound like a crime!”

“It is a crime!”

“That’s completely besides the point!

-Jon and Alanna in FyAnnwn's story Triple Deception (Can you guess who said what?)

"She's safe, just like I promised. And she's set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really. Except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a women."

-Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (And me, quite a lot)

Modern v. Elizabehtan Insults

"You are fat - By my trowth, thou dost make the millstone seem as a feather what widst thy lard-bloated footfall!"

"You've got a big mouth - In sooth, thy dank cavernous tooth-hole consumes all truth and reason!"

"You are ugly - Thy vile canker-blossom'd countenance curdles milk and sours beer."

-From http://www.renfaire.com/Language/insults.html (An afternoon well-spent)

"Canoes are our friends."

-My friend M (Wow, my friends have cool names. V, B, M... It's almost like MIB or something...)

"An Interesting Fact:

Bananas are radioactive."

-Sakuyo the Trickster Goddess (Now I know! And knowing is half the battle!)

"I think we've all arrived at a very special place, aye? Spiritually? Ecumenically? Gramatically?"

-Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (...What does 'ecumenically' mean??)

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

-Anonymous (See, I can too spell! Nyah!)

“At least thievery is honest work.”

-Himura Seraphina in his or her story Revelation (Stay in school! Don't do drugs!)

"In a thousand years, I'll get right on it."

-Nibbler in Futurama (Gee... Thanks...)

My Copy--and--Paste Section

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

-- Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever misspelled your own name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, be proud and copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you are emo inside and only let your friends know, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate it when people steal your ideas or quote you and pretend the idea or quote is their own, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like pie, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you frequently burst out in song for no particular reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support werewolf rights, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that there aren't enough trumpet players out there, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann are made for each other, and that no matter how awesomely awesome Captain Jack Sparrow may be (he is awesomely awesome), he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Kumagoro, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you're not stupid enough to believe music causes suicide, copy and paste this into you profile..

If you have to have everything is your life work perfectly and always be in order, copy and paste this into your profile.

CATS ROCK EVERYONE'S SOCKS! If you think cats are better than dogs,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think yaoi is hot, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you feel your urge to kill rising when someone, especially educated people like teachers, talk about "doing good on a test" or something, and you wish people would get the difference between adjectives and adverbs, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die of oxygen starvation if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. If you would be the 8 percent that would die laughing your butt off, copy and past this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you only got a Myspace account because you were bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think there is a hot yaoi couple in every manga out there, if you just look for it hard enough, and you always look for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, on sencond thought, your world isn't that little, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would buy a CD from an opening bandnyou don't know while in line for a concert, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have been told that you're scary, paste this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Shakespeare is awesome, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. If you are one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever run up the 'down' escalator or vice versa, copy and paste this into our profile.

If you have mental issues or people suspect you have mental issues copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally put cereal in the refrigerator and milk in the pantry, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like theatre, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends break out into song in public areas a lot, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cry when a character in one of your favorite books dies copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've noticed that preps travel in packs, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that ROCKS, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've argued with yourself and lost, copy and past this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this into your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.

Copy some, and add your own statements! Spread the love, man! I ALWAYS see the same ones on people's profiles. Actually, it's really fun to read someone's profile that I just know has visited mine before, it makes me feel important...

Anzywayz...

Change the world! Be creative! It's good for the soul! Like hugs! Not drugs! Which, by the way, I am definately NOT on! (...)