Yaoi Maiko is the shiznit!! (that probably got ur attention then...XDDD) and for some reason my profile keeps screwing up...so if you find info where it's not supposed to be it's the sites fault not mine. And yes that is me in the picture with my friend. I'm the Itachi and she is the Sasuke.

Okay, readers, I have good news and bad news...

The bad news, school is about to start again but I hope to finish My Lover is a Vampire before it does.

The good news, I just saved a load of money by switching my insurance to Geico! XDDD I have taken photos for my story My Lover is a Vampire, Here is the link

Please read some of my fanfictions some of them are good.

Also my profile is under construction as of now.

Name: Yaoi (Tsunade)

Age: 17 going on 18

Sex: Yes, please. XD (female)

How I'm feeling right now: loonie as ever

Status: taken

Sexuality: Lesbian(Don't like you can kiss my a double s)

To get a hold of me for more than just this: http://www.myspace.com/furbyoflight or at sango7707@hotmail.com

Likes: YAOI, reading and writing books/fanfictions, collecting mangas (More like trying to),cards, and knick-knacks, my friends, dogs (wolves especially), singing, and darkness.(friend is my darkness!! YAY!! Inside joke between my girlfriend and me.)

Dislike: Loud mouth stupid preps that think they can just walk all over you just cause you like anime...And they like cartoons, sunlight (just kidding), tone deaf people, and people who critize people about things they shouldn't be doing when they are doing it also.

Dream: to become a writer (I'm still working on that and I've gotten better..)

Alright, my friend Sable and I have named a few of our things but I shall only name what I have named mine...lol:
Ipod - Sasuke (very kewl but rarely used because it's too much of a bother...XD)
Ipod headphones - Itachi (my friend made a note that the headphones are always in my Ipod...XD)
Cell phone - Neji (Cuz my cell phone looks more like a Neji than an Itachi...XD)
Nitendo DS - Naruto (is bright to look at but not on the inside...XD)
Laptop - Mikami (Death Note) (evil to me but I still can't hate it.)
Radio - Watari (full of information and music...XD)
Television - L Lawliet (full of information that sometimes is useless...XD)
Playstation 2 - Raito (useful but not all there brain wise...XD)
Gamecube - Matsuda (since I don't hate it but it's not much use to me...XD)

The jokes my friend and I made about them:

My Ipod headphones, Itachi, is always raping my Ipod, Sasuke, and my DS, Naruto, in hidding.
My Tv, L Lawliet, and my Playstation 2, Raito are always hooked together.

my friends:

Skyz/Seek/Orochimaru- Kaycee, Skyz is what we call her, she is my lover when she not picking on me for making something totally non-perverted sound perverted. She has three brothers, Sai, Itachi and the third one he doesnt even have a Naruto nickname yet. She moved from England to the U.S. I feel sorry for her, she had to move to a country where people are all assholes...I mean come on people(only in my town) the world doesn't revolve around your ass...Quit making fun of the less fortunate and start fucking helping, it's not their fault, atleast I try to help people whenever I can...Opps, I got off the topic. -bashes head into wall- I love you, Skyz-koi.

Kitty/Amaya/Jiriaya- Kaila, Kitty or Amaya is what we call her, she is awesome when it comes to her yaoi fanfictions...She has helped me through the really though times cause she understands my pain...She's the nicest AND funnest person I have ever met..I love you, sis!!

Lee- Shane, I berally talk to him...He loves to ask the trade school bus driver anything that pops in his mind, that he doesn't have...last time he asked her if she had been laid lately...XD...I still can't believe he asked her that.

Jarochimaru/Hatome- Hillary, or as I call her Pimp or Hatome...or her new one, Momma, she is the most perverted person I have met but you can't help but love her perverted ways. She has kept me laughing all this year, her and Amaya both. She's my mommie(inside joke) and she takes care of me well...XD I wish, if she did she wouldn't have left me with a pervert(Skyz)J/K I love you mommie!

Shino- Cameron, or as I call him, daddy. He's my daddy.(inside joke) He takes better care of me than mommie...lol I love you daddy! ABORTION -punches him in stomach- (Another inside joke)

Tobi- Matt, everyone just calls him Matt, He's become less annoying and more nice...thank kami.

Shikamaru- Tyler, everyone calls him Shikamaru. He is pretty cool once you get to know him but he still is a loser to everyone else. But don't make him mad cuz once you do he is mad for the rest of the day and also don't call him gay he also gets mad over that joke. I love you brother.
Sakura: Shikamaru, Naruto
Shikamaru: What a drag, it burns when I pee(srry inside joke)

Kabuto-Anthony, everyone calls him Kabuto. He's ? now. I gave him a new nickname, Orgy-Man!! I love you big brother.

Thorn- I met her through Kabuto. She's sooo kewl, we became friends and now she's like a sister to me. She's very shy so I have to be careful and not freak her out in anyway, shape, or form. I love you, sis!

?- Megan, or as everyone calls her Tsunada-sama, I met her when I was in 7th grade when I took baton twirling, then when I got to high school I started to call her Megan until my friends told me her nickname. Kinky or porn makes her laugh so I have to say one at least once a day to her then my day is complete. Now she has graduated. inkykay(inside joke) I love you big sister.

Gaara- Robert. He is really a stubborn person...It's hard to get him to understand anything you just got to hate his 'I want it my way or no way at all' ways. This is Kaila's(Amaya's) brother, she thinks he is stubborn as well. She lucky to have such a nice careing brother(Note sarcasm).

?-Houston, or as I like to call him Houston-chan, he is gay but he is so kewl to be around. I wish he was still in school, and that I could hug him right now but this dang comp's in my way...Oh well I'll try ~hug~ I love you big brother!!

Kazes- Derek, or as Hatome-chan(Hillary) calls him NumaNuma, is one of my good friends. I don't see him anymore, so I moved on and now I'm going out with my best friend.

Sakura- April, she doesn't have a name besides big butt(LMAO), which she hates, she's one of my best friends too. She's my Kare Bear. I love you little sis!

Deidara- Anna, or as I call her, Anna Banana, I just met her and she's a yaoi lover too...She's so awesome! Bitchi, I love you!...Give me the Yaoi, Deidara!

Sasori- E.J., I met her when I was in middle or elementry school but then she stopped talking to me, but we are friends now. She's so awesome! I love you little sis!

Anko- Callie, or as I sometimes call her Call(sounds a little bit like cow but it looks like call...O.o? XDD), but I only call her that when I'm picking on her. I love ya, big sis!

Ashley- she has no Naruto nickname, she's just Ashley. She's in my 4th block class, we agree we are a bad influence on each other...XD

Nicole- We both can't stand her brother and we get along like sisters would...and she helps me pick on Houston-niisan...-evil smirk- I love you big sister!

I cant member anyone else right at this moment but I think they will understand.

our favorable quotes and others(my favorite ones will be underlined)

-Why you so stupid? You no hungry for six pack, you hungry for hot pockets!! - Hot Pocket commercial

-OH, BOB SAGET!! - Tourettes(sp?) Guy

-Bitch, I love you! – turrets(sp?) guy

-Can we go, I got jelly in my underwear! – Fry from Futurama.

-He’s drawing strength from our weapon just like a balloon and something bad happens! – Fry from Futurama.

-You have no penis! – my alternate personality, Sai…XD

-It’s not funny, I kill you! – Achmed, the dead terrorist

-"First I whip it out, then I thrust it, with great force. Every angle, it penetrates. Until, with great strength, I ram it in. In the end, we're all satisfied." - Dante "Devil May Cry 4" talking about fighting...or is he?

-"Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell." --Dr. Gregory House, House, M.D.

-"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth." - Alphonse Elric, FMA

-"Our...sexual...preference...is...our...own...business!" - Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

-"Master Tang - sing Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito...
Students - join in singing Nacho, Burrito..." - Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

- "Chosen One - Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab." - Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

-"Do you think I like the whole world watching you check out my ass and question my wardrobe?" – Cuddy
"Would you rather have me check out your wardrobe and question your ass?" – House

-"Did you just insult me in pig latin?" – House

-"My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'" - from an e-mail I was reading...XDDDD

-Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

-The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

-Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

-Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

-"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

-Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

-"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."--Willie Wonka (Johnny Depp), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

-"and what would you have learned if she had said yes?" - forgot name...I'll figure it out later.
"A lot about bondage." - House

-"There's a lot of porn on the internet...it doesn't download itself!" - House

-Well, I couldn't have been more amused if they burned down the school over lighting a fart on fire. - I got this from a story I think...I just can't remember what story...XD

-(From Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged)
"I'll get as want as I drunk a be." Hiei

"The funk wasn't with you! Don't let me catch you online again...OF THE FUNK!" Gaara
"Who the hell was that?!" Koenma
"The caller ID says 'Gaara of the funk'" random creature
room changes color with some music and then hear Gaara of the funk
"Dude, what the hell just happened?" Koenma
"What are you talking about, sir?" another random demon
"The room just changed freakin color, man!" Koenma
"Umm, sir, what are you on?" the second random creature again
"I don't even know anymore,dude." Koenma

-I'm not that evil. Really. I just get bored easily. - From a profile I was on.

-We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round...--The Bucket List

-"Take the T and D out of today spell the letters left backwards and add an I after the O...so now that you know what I'm reading today, I'll be back sometime." - Me...This is what happens when I watch the news and have Yaoi on the mind...XD

-"And how exactly have you been occupying yourself? With gay porn magazines?" Sasuke points at the magazine in Itachis’ hand, laughing. Sasuke already knew Itachi was gay. It didn’t bother him in the least honestly. He’d grown used to it by now. "I don’t think that’s the best way to entertain yourself. One of these days, you’re going to injure yourself from whacking off too much."

"Ha-ha little brother. You’re very funny." Itachi pauses, staring at his brother once more. "If only you knew the truth." - From homecoming by Innocent Attraction

-"Well, he couldn't have been more amused if they burned down the school over lighting a fart on fire." I don't remember where I got this from...lol

-"Jacques, I want three omelets, one ham, two chickens, five apples- I love them-, a bowl full of grapes, three bowls of rice, two cups of water, three pitchers of grape juice, three pounds of bacon with strawberries on top, a cake with chocolate icing, six bowls of oatmeal, a pot of collard greens and creamed spinach mixed together mind you, ten turkey sandwiches- no scratch that- make it eight, three fish fillets, four lobsters, twelve crabs, whipped cream, and ONE cherry. Please," Ryoma smiled innocently at Jacques.

-Roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia
Poem writes you

-Screw you in the ass with something hard and sandpapery. – the hard and sandpapery thing came from Kelly but I added the rest.

-If I wanted to be a doormat, I would sit on the floor with a key in my butt. – I don’t really know where I heard this but I loved it.

-Shut up y'all, we can kill ourselves when we get home. – I believe that was from Futurama.

-Stupid bird stole my quarter. – Eddy from Ed, Edd, and Eddy

-"Hiei, are you awake?" - Kurama
"No, I just decided to sleep with my eyes open." – Hiei - forgot where I got it from...XD

-Squaring numbers is like squaring men, if they're under 13, you have to do them in your head. - Itachi talking to Sasuke(both from KoiCosplay on Youtube)

-"The gay you need at the price you want!" - Yaoi Maiko...yep, that's my new slogan...XD

-Holy freakin' Moses! - The phrase my friend, Nicole, and me are trying to spread!

-BUTTSCRATCHER! - My sister's boyfriend started saying that...I think he said he got it from Family Guy or something. XDD

-BUTTFUCKER! - The new thing he came up with that fit...XDDD

-Suck it!!- Me when someone makes fun of me.

-I'm already in your pants. - Amaya when she puts one of her hands in my pockets...XD

-What do you mean you think he's pregnant? - Skyz talking about her brother...XD

-It's time for your physical, and I'm your doctor. - Anthony pretending to be Kabuto again.

-You're gay!! - Matt being random as usual.

-Jesus is the answer to everything! - what me and Ashley said and put on our math work one day(only on the probs we didn't finish or get...XD)

-Holy shnikes!- Me when I'm surpried.

-Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. - My mom's boyfriend's shirt

-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and let the world wonder how you did that. - Skyz...I don't remember where she found it...XD

-(me talking to Skyz) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting" - Skyz...sometimes...XDD

-That’s what she said…all night long. – my friend, Sorel, and me messing with people.

-I didn’t say it was your fault, but I’m blaming you anyway. – Skyz

-Nobody ever suspects the sweet, quiet, black clothes wearing girl. – me when I do something perverted….XD

-I have a dream and in it, something eats you. – Skyz

-I didn’t brain my damage! – Skyz and me

-I don’t know what’s tighter…Sasuke’s ass or my pants. – me

-What’s today? – Skyz’s teacher
Um…Pink? – Skyz

-Birdie birdie in the sky why’d you drop that in my eye, smells like sugar, taste like sap, OMG IT’S BIRDIE CRAP!! – Skyz told me that…XD

-My cheek itches –scratches butt cheek- What?! I didn’t say which cheek. – Skyz

-Why did the world turn its back on my genius? - me
What genius? – Skyz

-Sorry I’m late, but I swear I heard my rice Krispies say this morning, snap, crackle, fuck that ass hole. – Skyz

-Reading upside down is hard. – Skyz and me

-OMG, that person is so hot I want to rape them! – me

-Omgee – Rena when ever I surprise rape her…XD

-Porn? – me being random

-If you don’t shut up, I’m going to rip your dick off and either nail it to the wall or shove it up your nose…whichever one takes less work. – me when I get pissed at someone

-I have the second largest penis in the world! – me talking about my penis…XD

-I resign as your penis. – Robert trying to stop being my penis but it didn’t work…XD

-Quit touching my DS, or I’ll kill you with a French fry! –glare- – me talking to Mitchell on the trade school bus.

-I want out of this store, it’s gaaaaayyy!! – me in this store in the mall my sister dragged me in that I hated.
You’re gay! – my sister’s answer to that.
-smirk- Thank you for noticing. – me

-Pie! – me in another random moment

-Rena loves Asian people. – don’t remember who told me that.
I can tell. – my answer

-I go to and from and back to hell everyday! – me
? – Someone…XD
I go from home, to school, and then back to home. – me
If you mean your dad’s when you say home…then wow, I feel sorry for you. – Same someone

-Tute, what you want for dinner? – My sister
Porn? – Me
I don’t think porn is edible. - My sister
That’s what you think. – Me

-I have porn! – me
What kind of porn? – my sister
Gay porn! – me

-Shut up, you stupid cat, before I strangle you until you wish you weren’t born then hang your little siamese ass from the ceiling! – What I mumble to Ling-ling when she wakes me up with the meowing.

-Hey! Itchy, Scratchy, I’m trying to sleep here, ya mind? – Me talking to Scooby and the other chihuahua, Baby Cakes in the middle of the night.

-Bow to the almighty porn goddess!! – My sister talking about me.
You may rise for you have displeased me, someone here as stolen my porn and if not returned to me soon shall be punished as I see fit. – Me answering back.
The porn goddess is mad, run away, run away!! – My sister’s answer.

-Jareth’s magical crystal balls!! – the saying I told a friend who thought it perverted…XD

-You do know that if you give me a dollar I will leave you alone? – Me during school

-OMG! – Me
WTF? – Hatome
BBQ! – Skyz

-That is so gayishly straight! – me when something is not great one bit like waiting for something or going into a prep store….XD

-It’s a bit nippley outside, you might want to put a bra on. – My friend told me that but I don’t remember what she got it from.

-It's not my fry! - Buddha, he meant to say fault and we were joking about fries and he accidently said that so now we say that to him when we do something or it's really not our...FRY! XDDD

-Underwear? What underwear? – Gai O.O

-Is porn edible? - me when I get asked what I want to eat...XD

-OTBITS! (Oh The Buddha In The Sky) - I just started saying that cause I hate saying OMG...it's not just my god...XD

fav. pairings:
1. UCHIHACEST!!
2. LxLight/LightxL
3. GaaraxNaruto
4. GaaraXLee
5. SasukexNaruto
6. HarryxDraco
7. KenxDavis
8. NejixNaruto
9. GaaraxNaruto
10. LeexNaruto
11. KoujixKouchi
12. NaruxSaku
13. KibaxShino
14. AxelxRoxas
15. SoraxRiku
16. SoraxRoxas
17. GaaraxNeji
and any pairings that are guys, I freakin' love yaoi, I okay with hentai, and I love yuri!! but if there is any incest..count me in..I'll read it!!

You are an Opportunist Seme!
Preying on the clueless is what you're all about. You really don't intend to hurt anyone, but if a bit of harmless manipulation can get you what you want, you're not beyond taking a little advantage of someone, which you figure is an even exchange for your companionship anyway. Not one for lots of drama, you are best paired with the Clueless Uke, who will appreciate your attention and never bat an eye at your slightly sneaky ways.

Most compatible with: Clueless Uke, Innocent Uke
Least compatible with: Badass Uke Itachi

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the atmosphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

My stories:
In-progress
Zorn der Katze - 4 chapters up so far...I will work on chapter 5 as much as possible.
On the Bus-8 chapters up and trying to figure out some things for it. this is probably almost done, I kinda of forgot some of the plot I had for it. Oh, well...XD
Runaway and Runited-3 chapters up won't be updating for a while...no time
Make Me Live Again-2 chapters up so far...umm...I really not sure if I can continue this one or not...depends
I Will Protect You-3 chapters up...this one is the same excuse for R. & R.
Shrub Motel-1 chapter up...I'm still working on find the chapter 2...I...um...well, kinda lost the notebook it was it...@.@

Complete:
Anime 7 mins in heaven/spin the bottle
Bowchica Wow Wow
My Lover is a Vampire
Naruto Pink Tutu
Naruto Truth or Dare
Pain for Love
Pink Hair Dye
Staring Caused It
Saving You
The Usage of Fuck
What's Behind the Mask?

What?! Sweetass(Swedish) Fish?! (the end)