G'day everyone! Allow me to introduce myself...

General Stuff: My real name is Keshia and I am fifteen years old.

Fandom:I write Harry Potter fanfiction and have been doing so for about a year. I can deal with reading stuff from other fandoms though. I like CSI fanfiction...

Nationality: I'm Australian. Have been so all my life.

Interests:I follow Rules Football and I am an avid Carlton supporter. They're the Chudley Cannons of the AFL. For those who don't know, the Chudley Cannons are Ron Weasley's favourite Quidditch team. They changed their motto from "We shall conqure" to "Let's just cross our fingers and hope for the best. We'll get that premiership again one day...one day... (WE WON THE NAB CUP! YES! Then again we won it last year as well just before getting the wooden spoon...)

I am a die hard Harry Potter fan. I practically know the books of by heart and everytime I watch Maid in Manhattan I start twitching. (See the names of the actors if you want to figure out what I mean)

My favourite characters are Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange. I am "Snape is only a little bit evil" believer.

What I really don't like:

Christians who think Harry Potter is evil. I am a Christian and I can safely say I have not read one good argument. The whole story is centred around love for Slytherin's sake!

-Dramione. If someone can show me one that does not have a suddenly-jaw-droopingly-beautiful Hermione, a matchmaker Dumbledore, a riddiculously OOC Draco, nudity or an American exchange student (besides the one I wrote in which nothing really happens) I will give you a whole box of virtual cookies.

Personality: I'm your typical Hermione Granger...Seriously. I love studying, hate rule breaking, will start hyperventilating if I get a mark below C, must be dragged kicking and screaming from the library and even have the bushy hair. I'm also good at memories passages from books.

What I like reading and writing: Give me a weird pairing any day. I'm a Lily/Snape shipper. Come on, admit it James Potter fans...it just works. It does have a slight (cough) gag factor but it explains a lot.

After I post all of Dark Witch I am planning to put several fics on here...

-"The House of Black" (I've actually already had this one on here at some point but none of you reviewed so I put Dark Witch on instead... don't I feel loved? ) Very depressing...the story that is.

-"Harry Potter and the Dementor of Azkaban" (My first fic...very close to my heart but I'm rewritting it because it sucked...Book 7 fic)

-Best Served Cold- Scary one-shot with my favourite character...Severus Snape!

-Deal with the Devil-The most twisted thing I have ever come up with... The most uncannon pairing ever without being slash...

-Snape's worst...Best...Completely Demented Memory.- Lily/Snape

Oh...and I do have a Review my fic and I review yours policy but I'm allergic to slash. I turn red and start twitching.

My friends: Helena (aka cheeky-eyes) is one...the only one of my buddies on this site. Hello Helena! Lisa (aka HARRY POTTER SUCKS and Snape Lover no. 1 and the Supreme Overmaster of the Universe...don't ask) is my friend who thinks fanfiction is a complete waste of time but hey, she reads my stuff. Nemo (her name is Nimashini...but it's too long so we call her Nemo) may visit my page occasionally. She is seriously...Luna Lovegood.

If you're sick of waiting for me to update just go to my other page on harrypotterfanfiction.com.

That is pretty much it.

Oh and if any can tell me who wrote the story "Death Kisses Her Children to Sleep" can they please email me or something? That was the best fic I have ever read. Dad called me off the computer and now I can't find it!!! Where has it gone!?! I need to put it in my favourites!!!

Please read this and copy it onto your page!

Review etiquette

If you’re going to ask for reviews at least do your reviewers the courtesy of saying thank you…whatever they may write.

Swearing in reviews or replies is uncalled for. Say what you feel nicely. It is possible to say ‘I don’t really like your story’ instead of ‘This is totally &$#@!!!’ I

f you’re going to say you don’t like the story…at least say why so the writer can try and fix up their mistakes or politely disagree.

If you read a story…any story…take the time to leave a review. If you don’t like it you can always tell them how to improve their story.

Though it makes Authors feel quite nice when they get a ‘OMG! You’re story is so great!’ it isn’t really that helpful. Pointing out their errors is not being mean… you’re helping them become better writers!

If someone leaves you a review…try and return the favor.

How to respond to a flame

Flamers…have no class. You can show some class by keeping your head and not allowing yourself to be intimidated.

I've decided to be highly original (cough)copy my friend cheeky-eyes(cough) and put quotes and jokes on my page. I didn't think of any of them but I can't remember who said some of them.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Ninja of the Flames, Spuffy on Hiatus, cheeky-eyes, holly bergman

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

To err is to human...but to utterly foul things up requires a computer. (damn straight...)

-I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!

-Hello. My name is Enigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. ~Princess Bride

-Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries!~Monty Python

-Oh look! It's a distraction!

-You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses ... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death...if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."~Severus Snape

-He's not the Messiah! He's just a naughty boy!~Monty Python

-There are three types of people in the world...those who can count and those who can't.

-DNA: National Dyslexics Association

-75 of the population make up 3/4 of the world.

-I'd agree with you if only you were right. ~Robbie Williams in "Awakenings"

-Death is only the next great adventure~ Albus Dumbledore

Don't walk behind me for I many not lead. Don't walk in front of me for I may not follow. Don't walk beside me either...Just stay the hell away from me.

-Sanity is overated~Lisa

-Sanders: "I'm like a sponge, I just absorb information."
Grissom: "That's my line!
Sanders: "Yeah, and I absorbed it." ~CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

-Do not worry about you difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are greater. ~Albert Einstine

-Imagination is more important that knowledge~Einstine

-Christ is that...blue soup?~Daniel Cleaver

-Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: We've been given our parts in the nativity play...and I'm the lobster!
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: Yeah, first lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.~Love Actually

The trouble with being the Prime Minister's sister is it does put your life into rather harsh perspective. What did my brother do today? He stood up and fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a papier maché lobster head. ~Karen, Love Actually

-The thin man stepped out of the cauldron, staring at Harry...and Harry stared back into the face that had haunted his nightmares for three years. Whiter than a skull, with wide, livid scarlet eyes, and a nose that was as flat as a snake's, with slits for nostrils...

Lord Voldemort had risen again.~Goblet of fire...the greatest paragraph every written!

The first draft of anything is shit. ~Ernest Hemingway... truer words have not been spoken.

-Dude...Run! ~cheeky-eyes as Benvolio in Romeo and Juliet

-Make chocolate...not War~The Supreme Overmaster of the Universe...AKA Lisa.

The following is a skit by Will Anderson...

Bush: You're hiding WoMD!

Iraq: No we're not!

Bush: You're hiding WoMD!

Iraq: No we're not!

Will: In the meantime North Korea over here's going...

Nth Korea: HELLO! OVER HERE! WE'VE GOT BOMBS!

-Why is the rum always gone? ~Jack Sparrow...sorry...Captain Jack Sparrow

-I've gotta jar of dirt! I've gotta jar of dirt! ~Captain Jack Sparrow

-Nobody move! I've dropped my brain...~Captain Jack Sparrow