I'm about to graduate this May. If I survive that long. Then I'll be getting a job, applying to grad schools, moving into an apartment, visiting my girlfriend, somehow bringing home my girlfriend, and annoying the life out of my Dorkmate while she takes care of our kittens. When we get them.

I have no idea what I'm doing, I swear. I write poetry now, I'm terrified of writing fiction, when I write it and turn it in to class, I get complimented so bad that I go into a depression every time I have to write more for class. I'm serious. There's nothing better than being average. You don't get noticed, you don't have the pressure to write things better and better each time, you don't worry until you get sick in the toilet over the thought of writing even 500 or 750 words of a story to submit.

That's why I don't write fanfiction anymore. It's not that it's not fun, but I sit down to write and get scared so bad I get the shakes like a bald dog in Alaska. I want to, dear Lord do I want to write more fanfiction, but I'm too scared to do more than RP and occasionally stay up all night writing for class the next day. Ryou Bakura will still be my favorite character to pinch and prod and poke and throw into a vat of sharks and see how he does, Ciel will still be the little boy I want to scoop up and snuggle while wearing a rosary I stole from Dorkmate to fend off the annoyed demon, Jase will always be the original character that I'm proud of making because he is so freaking normal I'm jealous that the only complex he has is that he likes older, voluptuous women who are MILFs. Or just older, voluptuous women who he feels need an ear to listen to them. I will still adore/hide from Dr. Stein, clean up the rose petals Tamaki farts out, avoid Kyouya so he doesn't remind me (rather loudly and with a stupid smirk on his face) that I have homework to do, so I really shouldn't be playing Kingdom Hearts, Lego Batman, Dragon Age, The Witcher, or FFX-2. I will always keep Natasha around when I run into those girls that thought it was okay to try and take Dorkmate from me because I wasn't giving them enough attention, I will continue to ignore Shizuo when he asks if we can stay outside and hang around one of my most intelligent, and therefore, most terrifying professor because he smokes and Shizuo wants to bum a cigarette off him. Bard will always be in the kitchen with me when I microwave soup instead of eating on campus, Ryuuken and Ishida will forever scream in my ear to slow the eff down the speed limit is 35, not 70! when I drive home for the weekend.

I'll dance to Kesha with all of them and they'll still always be here. I just won't be able to find my courage to write them as often as I'd like.