"What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?"

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

The road to success is not straight.
There is a curb called Failure; a loop called Confusion; speed bumps called Friends; red lights called Enemies; caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination; an engine called Perseverance; insurance called Faith, and a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success!

The real problem with reality is theres no background music.

"Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. Insane. Bozo. No longer in possession of ones faculties. Three fries short of a happy-meal. Wacko!"

You know you live in 2009 when...

(1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

(2) You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

(3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is because they don't have a screenname.

(4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

(6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

(7) As you read this list you keep smiling and nodding.

(8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

(9) And you were too busy to read number 5

(10) And you scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

(11) Now you are laughing at your stupidity.

(12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that...you know you did.

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

96 percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have MySpace and are literally addicted, if you are part of the 0.5 percent who thinks that MySpace is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever gone upstairs or someplace and when you got there completely forget what you went there for in the first place, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you never noticed the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune.

Copy and paste this if you just checked.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250pg+ book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think poking the Pillsbury Dough Boy in the stomach is creepy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lined out your review halfway through a new chapter, but when you get to the end you forget to actually write it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this is your profile.

You Know Your Obsessed With Fanfiction When...

1) You start narrating movies.

2) You dream about fanfiction.

3) You got a book/movie because of a fanfiction story (in an unknown fandom) you wanted to read.

4) You find yourself writing fanfictions about your own life.

5) You can't sleep at night because of a cliffhanger on one of your favorite stories.

6) You find yourself reading/writing fanfictions rather than the important (home)work you need to do.

7) You will probably read more fanfiction than you ever will real books.

8) While driving you find yourself matching songs on the radio/talk show stories to various characters.

9) While driving you find yourself matching songs on the radio/talk show stories to specific fanfictions.

10) You have gotten someone into fanfiction.

11) You have multiple fandoms and their still growing.

12) You frequently visit other fan(fiction) websites.

13) You know your fandom so well, you know whats cliché, whats not, and who the amazing first person was that wrote the story.

14) You find yourself (slightly) panicking when your power goes out because you can't get your update alerts (or read fanfiction).

15) Halfway through reading this you already decided to Copy and Paste it to your profile.

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

BUNNY.
WILL.
RULE.
THE.
WORLD.

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Copy and paste this into your profile to help bunny rule the world.

Do YOU remember the 90s??

Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ." You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents You used to listen to the radio all day long just to r ecord your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on PBS You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Ra ngers -Rocket Power. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Lambchop's song never ended. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. You had slap bracelets! You Actually played outside until it was dark! Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . .