Vitals:

Name: Sorceror Nobody

Real Name: Sorceror Nobody... oh, fine. It's Jacob Turner

Age: At least as old as this universe, if not more.
In an equivalent comparison to humans, however, I guess you could say I'm 21

Gender: Male (again, by analogy with humans)

Location: England

Nobody Traits:

Type: Sorceror Nobody (not to be confused with Sorcerer Nobodies)

Rarity: Unique

Rank: None, because a high enough rank has not yet been defined

Subordinates: All lower Nobodies. Also most Heartless. Limited control over Organization members, when I can be bothered

Element: Sort of generic, including all the Organization members' elements as well as several extra

Weapon: Mainly my powers, but I do indulge in Keyblades, Chakram, Kunai, Sephiroth's Masamune, etc. occasionally

Other abilities: Well, I can solve Rubik's Cube pretty quickly. My record is 1:51 so far, if you care

Favourite Things:

Games: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy II, Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII-, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, Final Fantasy Tactics A2, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts II, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Kingdom Hearts Re:coded, The World Ends With You. See the pattern yet? I also enjoy (and have) most of the Crash Bandicoot games. Also Pokémon Diamond... I may not be a fanatic anymore, but Pokémon remains classic.

Books: House of Leaves (Mark Z. Danielewski), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling), Edge Chronicles (Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell), Alex Rider and Power of Five (Anthony Horowitz), A Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket), His Dark Materials (Philip Pullman), Mortal Engines quartet (Philip Reeve), Keys to the Kingdom (Garth Nix), Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer), and several others, many by some of the same authors.

Films: The Matrix trilogy, the Shrek films, the Harry Potter films, the Pirates of the Caribbean films, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Bruce Almighty, the Scooby Doo films (more the second one) and FFVII: Advent Children. I'm okay with Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within as well. It wasn't brilliant, but I didn't hate it. Also, like the above section, Pokémon is still decent.

TV Shows: Doctor Who, Torchwood, House, Lie to Me, Lost, and occasional Simpsons and Futurama. Buffy and Angel are okay too. In contrast to the films and games, however, I couldn't care much less about the Pokémon anime series. Survivors is decent. I also enjoy programs such as Have I Got News for You, Mock the Week and QI.

Click here to visit my forum! Yes, I know there's a link to "My Forums" at the top of my profile, but do I look like I care?

Check out my videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/SorcerorNobody . Guess what? Yup, lots of KH and FF.

My Fanfictions

Kingdom Hearts Weakest Link - A game of Weakest Link, with ten characters from the KH series as contestants. Rated T for possible language and violence, especially since Sephiroth is in it and already been annoyed repeatedly! The idea for this just randomly came to me while I was on my A2 Biology Fieldwork, and I decided which characters to use as well as sketching out initial ideas for their self-introductions. Still technically on hiatus, but with occasional updates keeping it alive. I have no intention of giving up on it, and I do have a few questions and incidents planned, but they're all for later in the fic.

Switching Sides - A teaser for a crossover fanfiction between Snakehead (Alex Rider) and Evil Star (Power of Five). Two characters in very similar situations get inexplicably swapped over. Something very weird is going on... Rated T because of there being mortal injuries involved.

Inexistent Misadventure - Intended to be a totally random series of events, involving whichever characters and canons I feel like throwing in, purely for the potential lulz. Rated K for the moment, but practically guaranteed to be revised to T within the first few chapters, and possibly to M later on. I have no idea where it's going to go, because I plan to make it all up as I go along.

-> Inexistent Misadventure is also hosted on KH Fanon Wiki (http://kingdomheartsfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Inexistent_Misadventure). That's actually the "main" version of it, since being on a wiki allows a lot more content flexibility than FanFiction.net does.

Random Character Fic List/Quiz

MechaUltimaZero did this after he saw Darek Metaltron's version of it, and I'm a boring copycat :P

List 12 people from any fandom.

Okay then...

1. Kefka Palazzo, for the awesome

2. "Lightning" Farron, for the sexy

3. Axel, for the awesome

4. Terra Branford, for the sexy

5. Artemis Fowl, for the epic genius

6. Sephiroth, for the epic awesome

7. Captain Jack Sparrow, for the epic awesome

8. Cissnei, for the sexy

9. Zexion, for the awesome

10. Aeris Gainsborough, for teh lulz

11. Dr. Gregory House, for the awesome

12. Auron, for the awesome

I think you can probably see a bit of a pattern here...

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Sephiroth and House? That could be... interesting. "It's never lupus... but it might be Jenova cells"? If there was one, I'd definitely read it to see how it turned out. Even if it was pure crack, which seems quite probable, does it not?

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Immeasurably hot. No scale yet devised can cope with this level of sexy.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?...

Auron and Cissnei? Interesting. I'm not sure what I think of it as a pairing, but it could work. I might like to see that fic happen...

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Several of my favourites on here involve the Organization, and thus Zexion.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Light and Sephy? I think the universe would asplode from overload of awesome.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Artemis and Zexion or Aeris? It depends. If this is a pairings question, Aeris, because although I have nothing against yaoi, I don't see it working for Artemis. Besides, Aeris would fascinate him... he's like a smarter but far more moral version of the entire Shinra Science Department put together. If this is just a crossover fic question, definitely Artemis and Zexion, because that would probably be an awesome scheming double act. They would be one hell of a team.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Captain Jack walks in on Light and Auron? Probably a threesome, savvy? Either that, or Jack gets a slap in the face ("Might've deserved that one")

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Axel and Aeris? Well, Axel's similarity to Reno might provide a starting point... and they are both in the KH-verse, so it's not unfeasible. I have no idea which direction it would go in, but I don't think it should be a pairing, so probably a bunch of amusing antics bordering on, but just shy of, crackdom.

Tiring of spending most of her life in the company of guys with outrageously spiky hair, it's quite simply the last straw when Aeris meets Axel. Though she tries to avoid him, events conspire to keep the bickering duo together through a wide array of bizarre antics. Extreme hilarity ensues.

One could also make a pairing, mind you. The summary for that is "Ansem Retort".

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Kefka and Cissnei? I really hope not.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

That's a difficult one. I expect it would drift into yaoi territory with Auron being comforted over the loss of Jecht or Braska. Besides, neither Captain Jack nor Auron is exactly the comforting type, so I really don't see this one working. Actually, if you only want a title, then that's not so hard... how about "A Sparrow's Aid" or something like that?

11. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

I'm not sure how an Artemis/Lightning/Terra fic would work out, and I certainly don't know if anyone on my friends list would write one. Perhaps I'll issue it as a challenge to OOCMaster.

12. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Aeris: "I LOVE YOU, SEPHIROTH!!!" ...from an AU crack fic or something.

13. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Kefka, Sephiroth and Auron?

Warning: Contains so much awesome that your head and computer would both asplode just from reading this warni- ah, crud. Look at the mess you just made. Brains everywhere. Tch.

14. What might be a good pick up line for Ten to use on Two?

Aeris: "So, you're an ex-soldier, are you? My last boyfriend thought he was, too."

Lightning: "...are you bi?"

15. What is Six's super secret kink?

Sephiroth? I dare not answer this. I'd rather not suffer "death by fanboys/girls".

16. Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

House and Zexion? If House was drunk AND hallucinating from Vicodin AND Zexion used an illusion to appear as Cuddy or something. Has to be all three, otherwise hell no.

17. "(1) and (9) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). " What title would you give this fic?

"Kefka and Zexion are in a happy relationship until Zexion runs off with Terra. Kefka, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with 'Greg' and a brief unhappy affair with Auron, then follows the wise advice of Artemis and finds true love with Axel"

Evidently, Kefka is consistently gay (believable enough), and seems to quite like Organization members. The one-night stand with House would probably require similar conditions to the above question, although Kefka would be wearing the Pretty Princess set from Dissidia rather than using illusions, and the affair with Auron would probably be very unhappy. Wisdom from Artemis is plausible... although, then again, relationships advice from Artemis? Perhaps not.

Zexion definitely has the right idea, though. Snagging Terra? Damn, he's good.

Title: Diary of a lovelorn harlequin

18. If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

Captain Jack and Axel? Dear god, that would be the beyond hilarious crack to end all crack. I genuinely can't decide who tops, because it would probably alternate on a minute-by-minute basis as each of them repeatedly one-upped the other in a glorious display of epic ROFLMAO WIN!!!

19. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Hmmm... I've read a couple of short Artemis Fowl fics, but I can't remember how long ago that would be. I haven't read any stellar ones... but then, I can't say I've looked very hard.

20. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Captain Jack and Cissnei? I might actually quite like that. It'd be interesting, to say the least.

As a reward for reading all of that, you get a metaphorical cookie. Not a real one, because I can't send those through the internet, and they're too nice to give away anyway :P